Vitriol... and then: Frustration!!! for what???
Mood:  on fire
Topic: Writing
First Id like to quote from a book i just read...

be like the cistern that overflows, not merely the fountain that contains...

Live.If you live, God will live with you. If you refuse to run his risks, he will retreat to the distant heaven to be merely a subject for philosophical speculation.

If everyone just lived their lives and let others do the same, God would be in every moment, in every grain of mustard, in the fragment of cloud that is there and then gone the following moment... God was there and yet people believed they still had to go on looking, because it seemed to simple to accept that life was an act of faith.


Now i try to stop stealing another mans thunder. But like he says, most of his studies are rooted in love and a desire to live. The whys we choose to live within walls where nothing turbulent happens, like the quiet cistern, when from within, our soul cries to overflow such as the fountain.

Here I begin my own writing
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That i could find the means to express my true self. And find a way of life that has everything. I do not fear to be different but i fear i may not find the right mix to truly do justice to the gift of life.

There is lots of love to be had. We search so hard and so long that we fall in love with the first decent seeming thing that comes along. And once we're in love, its hard to really evaluate who that person is and whether they really are what we need. Obviously they are what we want for we're in love.

So what is love. Eloquently put, love is the inability to live without. Since everyone around us knows that we can live quite well without any element of our lives, love is only subject to our holding on. When both of us hold on for all that we're worth, then we are lucky to have found each other.

When one of us holds on for our life depends on it and the other likes the idea of being held on to, its not 2-way. Better to kill that love for in spite of the tendernes with which it was sown, it was sown unknowingly on barren land. Poor soil, you can add fertilizer to, and perhaps in a few seasons, from it shall spring a garden. But some soils will not sustain life, no matter how much time and effort and substance of your soul you devote to it.

Wish, that our efforts may actually change the ones we love. But how much can we change. How hopeless a task must we choose.

What is a life partner. Someone that makes us twice the person we are without. Someone who supports, encourages, who devotes time to us. Someone who understands, cares, forgives. Someone who takes that extra effort to make us feel loved, cared for and extra special.

No two lovers can ever be the same. No relationship has it all. But we should be smart enough to know what we want, what we need, what we have to have, what we can do without and most importantly we have to fit the other persons bill as well.

Whats the use in someone fulfilling our ideals if they cant satisfy our basic needs. Freedom from judgement. Freedom to grow. Freedom to live. Freedom to dream. Freedom to love.

As for myself. I believe ive found the woman i love. In spite of all my learnings which tell me to be careful and deliberate. And though i believe i should wait until ive seen more. I also do believe that with what i have at hand, i will get all that i want from a relationship - fulfillment.