"Brian has a side project. Pat has a side project. Why can't I have a side project? It's not fair!," Scott said to himself, thinking about how Rivers was about side projects. He remembered times where Brian would talk about the Space Twins and then get yelled at by Rivers. Pat knew enough not to talk about it very much in the first place.
Weezer was taking a break for a while. Pat was doing stuff with The Special Goodness. Brian was doing stuff with the Space Twins. Rivers was busy hanging out with Fred, Britney, and other celebrities so people would see him on TV or at least inside a tabloid. Scott was bored out of his mind. True, cruising around Silverlake in his El Camino was fun, but he missed playing his bass.
Just then there was a knock at the door of Scott's apartment. It was Brian. "Hey, Scott! How are you doing today?," he asked gleefully.
"Hmmm... bored... but fine... I guess...," Scott replied.
"Well I came over to invite you to a performance of my band, the Space Twins. Would you like to come? We will be playing tonight at the Troubador," Brian said eloquently.
"Sure. Why not?," Scott said, even though it was just another reminder of what he could be doing.
Later that night, Scott observed Brian's performance in a hidden away spot in the bar, away from the screaming girls who were always trying to pet Brian. He was hoping they wouldn't notice him. They were only there because he was in Weezer and could care less about the Space Twins. "Hmm... I guess that is a downside to having a side project. Some people will only like you for your main band, but I can handle that," he said to himself.
He looked around the bar. Rivers was there, hidden away himself, talking on his cell phone. "Oh Mary Kate, Ashley, the three of us can have our birthday parties together... Yeah, I'll still take you to the mall afterward...," Rivers was saying into the phone. Scott just sighed and rolled his eyes.
At that point, Scott's cell phone rang as well. "Hey, what's goin' on, man? You at Brian's gig?," Pat asked.
"Yeah. What you up to?," Scott asked back.
"Oh nothing much, just on the road with the Foo Fighters... How's Brian doing up there?"
"Pretty good," Scott said.
"That's cool. Gotta go now. Dave and I are going to have a drum off. Later!," Pat said before hanging up.
Scott was sad, thinking about what Pat was doing. He could be there, too, if he had only said yes when Pat offered him Murph's old spot.
He sat in his apartment, thinking about the day Rivers tore into Brian for even mentioning the Space Twins in an interview and things Rivers had periodically said to him about side bands, often accompanied by a slashing motion across the throat or a mid-90's picture of the band with Matt ripped out of it. Even Rivers' voice haunted him, saying "You know what happens to bassists who start their own band..." It echoed in his brain before he went to bed.
Scott fell into a vivid dream as he fell asleep. He found himself in an endless room full of basses. He then heard a voice saying, "Hey! Over here!" It was a voice he had heard before. Scott turned toward the voice. There was Matt Sharp sitting on a sofa fooling around with his bass. The funny thing was that he didn't look like Matt today. He looked like Matt from 1995, with his hair cut short.
"What are you doing here?," Scott asked with bewilderment.
"I'm the ghost of Matt Sharp and I've come to talk to you about side projects. Here, take a seat," he said gesturing to a chair.
Scott sat down and thought for a minute. "Wait a minute," he said, "Matt is still alive! How can you be his ghost?"
Matt's ghost thought for a minute. "Hmmm... that's a good point. I never thought about that before... Let's see...," the ghost said, scratching his head. "Oh! I've got it! I am the ghost of Matt Sharp from WEEZER. I'm pretty sure that part of him is dead. Is that a good explanation for you?"
"Yeah. I guess that explains it...," Scott replied, still confused.
"Good, but we have no time to discuss that. I hear you've been thinking about a side project of your very own. Just to clarify, the Rentals were never a side project, they were MY BAND!," ghost Matt said.
"Yeah, yeah. I know...," Scott said.
"Sorry. I am very sensitive about that. Anyway, I'm sure Rivers has put you through every scare tactic in the book. Don't let him sway you. If you want a band of your very own, then do it!"
"What???," Scott said.
"You heard me," the ghost of Weezer Matt replied. "If you truly want to start your own band, who can stop you? Only you can stop yourself. Rivers doesn't control your life. Besides, you look like you could kick his ass if he ever started shit with you anyway. You're a scary guy."
"Ummm... thanks I guess... but, you know, I only look like a scary brute. Inside I am very sensitive."
"Aren't we all...? Most guys, however, would never admit it."
"So what are you up to these days?," Scott asked.
"Well, you probably already know the real deal is out on the road with his solo act. I've been really bored lately because of that."
"Why is that?"
"Well all these kids who only see the real me because I was in Weezer go out to the shows and heckle me. They remind the real Matt of times he was acting like an idiot, usually drunk off his ass. Or would that be my ass? Anyway, when kids ask him about Weezer and such it does the haunting for me."
"That sucks," Scott said.
"Well, anyway, do what you really want to do. Good luck," Matt's Weezer ghost said as the dream world faded out.
The next day, Scott began to plan his big side project. "Okay, I will have to work on making my voice super scary. I might even want the guitarist I hire to have a scary voice too for added effect. Oh man, we have to be totally heavy metal. I never get to rock out to my fullest with Weezer." He even made posters to put around the area:
BRAND NEW HEAVY METAL BAND
LOOKING FOR HARDCORE DRUMMER
AND GUITARIST WITH SCARY VOICE.
SCARY LOOK A PLUS.
MISSION: TO BRING THE ROCK BACK TO THE KIDDIES!
CALL 555-0711 FOR AUDITION.
Plenty called to audition with Scott over the next week. He finally settled on two heavily pierced and tattooed guys who were also very talented. The guitarist went by the name "Murder" and the drummer was named Steve. Scott, Steve, and Murder decided to name their band Thicker than Blood and immediately started practicing songs Scott had written during his time of boredom.
Eventually, the band got out there and began playing gigs and such. They even began to lay down tracks for an album. Scott's band built up a small following and the potential for success grew larger by the day. Unfortunately, the amount of time Scott had off from Weezer also grew shorter by the day.
Soon, the dreaded day had arrived. Scott received a phone call from Rivers. "Hey Scott," Rivers said, "I think I've had enough time off. Let's get back to the studio tomorrow so we can start on album 5. After that, we can go back to some heavy duty touring. I know you've been really bored, so I bet you can't wait..."
"Umm... yeah... sure... that will be great!," Scott said nervously.
"I thought you'd be more excited," Rivers said.
"No, it's just that i've gotten used to having all this free time. It will just be a while before I get back into the groove of doing all the heavy duty Weez work again," Scott said, still nervous.
"Well be at the studio tomorrow at 10 a.m. No later!," Rivers said sternly.
Scott didn't know what to do. His band was ready to break beyond underground, but now he was being dragged back into his Weezer world. He always said that Weezer would be his top priority, but now Scott wasn't so sure. He was enjoying his life in a side project, but, alas, it was only a side project. He had to tell the other guys that they might not be doing any more work for a while.
Scott, Steve, and Murder had a meeting a few days later. "Listen, guys," Scott said, "I'm in another band. I started this one as a side project to kill boredom while we had all this time off in my other band, but now they want to get together and start working again. That means that we can't do anything for a while. I hope you understand."
"Just curious," Steve said, "but what other band are you in?"
"Weezer. Didn't you guys know that?," Scott replied.
Steve began uncontrollably laughing. "Weezer? You're shitting me, right? Weezer! Ha! What a funny joke! What band are you really in, Scott?"
"I told you Steve. Weezer," Scott said.
Steve continued to laugh. "Weezer is a geek band. You're not a geek, are you?"
"I'm there to take some of the geekiness away from the band. Do you have a problem with that? If so, you can leave this band," Scott said with anger bubbling within him.
"I don't want to be in a band with any geeks," Steve said, walking out the door.
"What about you, Murder?," Scott asked.
Murder was silent as usual for a minute, but then he spoke up. "I understand. I have to go back to my band as well."
The only time anyone really heard Murder's voice was when he was screaming into the microphone. Murder almost never spoke in conversation, but when Scott heard him speak, his voice sounded familiar. "Rivers? Is that you?" Scott asked. "What are you doing here?"
Murder removed his wig of long, black hair and took off his clip-on piercings. "Yeah. It's me," he said, "I just wanted to rock out. Besides, I thought I told you never to start a side project." Scott, out of patience at that point, was about ready to pound him, but then Rivers said, "I'm just fucking with you. Relax. I'll let you have this side band as long as you tell no one about my alter ego."
"Man, I still can't believe you're Murder. Are those tatoos for real?," Scott asked.
"No. They rub right off. See?," Rivers said rubbing his arm. "Do we have a deal, Scott? Can I secretly be a metal god and you have a side band."
"Okay," Scott replied, "but on one condition. You remember that this is MY band. Don't you dare try to take over. I'll let you do whatever the hell you want with Weezer as long as you let me do whatever the hell I want with this band."
Rivers thought for a moment. "Deal," he said, shaking Scott's hand.
Later on, the band found a new drummer who was even more hardcore than the first. His name was Joe and he had no qualms about Weezer or the fact that this band was just a side project. In fact, Joe had a job of his own, so it worked out better that way for him.
The band never really did get that successful, nor did they last very long. Joe wanted to spend more time with his family, Scott got bored with the whole thing, and Murder went on to become the newest guitarist for Limp Bizkit.
THE END
