Poetry
This is all original written by myself, Robert Louis da Silva.
Here is some new stuff for the first time in a long time.
The Flour Man
A Man was killed.
By my Caretaker
he was made out of hay and flour
he became my friend
he couldn’t talk
he wanted to run with the others
So, I let him out,
he wore a bathing suit,
he would fit in.
Then the rain came,
He fell apart.
It ripped him apart.
Into a clumpy mess.
I gathered him up and went into the rickety shack,
Dust crept through the knot holes.
I wept, my tears making the flour into glue.
He was there.
stumbling, furious, fire burning, magma flowing, erupting, bursting,
Never had I known one as he. I begged Him to grind me up,
into flour,
As the flour swept over me. I felt the embrace and as the lace of a hundred lifetimes fold
-I heard the words of a thousand stories told-
Wrapped their tendrils around me neck, I only saw one image…
Every day I talked to him.
A man, not wholly made, who would look at me, weep, sit
And just want to fit
1-30-06
10:01 pm
The Mourning of the Flour Man
As I held him there,
Nothing but lumps,
My heart, my heartstone cracked,
To be reduced to clumps,
I had loved him as a nightingale loves the smell that the warm breeze fills her wings,
as the Tiger loves the mud beneath his feet as he bows down to the whooshing tide,
As the boy loves the song that his mother sings,
As the girl loves her diary to confide,
The sun broke, shattered the sky,
A thousand pieces asunder,
Sharp glass, slicing through fleshy feet,
I never had seen such a sun, so bloody, so beautiful, so perfect in its tranquility and violence
I have never dreamed of a day when all that man has brought with him shall tumble upon him
My bloody feet, so torn and trashed aside by the ravages of a misbegotten honey drop.
I have never and will never see this sun again for every man that sees the sun,
Break and Tear
The gaping wound, tears flowing, so much blood, so much agony,
Please make me into flour so that I may join
So that I may live as he lived. As I imagined him to live.
He never spoke, Only wept. Wept wept.
So much sorrow, so much pain, never to see the sun
Time we do borrow, Understanding we do not have,
Passion, passion, passion.
I never have seen the sun as this, the sun on fire, flaming,brimstone. Blood.
1-30-06
10:19 pm
Hands
Hands of the newborn, whose fingers are counted,
Hands of the child, that play their games,
Hands of the youth, that shake the hands of lifelong friends,
Hands of the student, that scramble to finish their paper,
Hands of the teenagers, that clutch their first broken heart,
Hands of the man, that caress their lover's cheek,
Hands of the worker, that build their house,
Hands of the father, that hold their son,
Hands of the grandfather, that grasp their posterity,
Hands of the elder, that are worn to bone,
Hands of the widowed, that wipe away their tears,
Hands of the dead, that lay motionless, but are held one last time,
Hands of the one at peace, reembracing their love.
2/22/01
Dragon
Dragon's fire,
They call me a liar,
I know what I saw,
I saw it with its ugly maw,
It opened its mouth wide,
And something burned inside
-7/21/01
Pain redefined,
I cannot express how I feel,
love one moment, indifference the next,
I am confused in a sea of my own emotions,
tired and alone I stand, so very alone,
I don’t know where to turn,
I loved her, she didn’t love me,
why does such a simple truth when light is shined upon it tear my insides,
leaving my heart in a hundred broken splinters,
I want to be alone, from everything, even myself,
I want her so much.
How suddenly it began,
how suddenly it ended,
my heart cannot take this,
My heart has stopped beating,
I am dead inside,
pain is all I feel,
pleasantries no longer afforded,
I can not rest,
tormented by unrequited love.
So many have felt this before me,
how do I think I am alone,
I must get through this,
I cannot let it break me.
I loved her, she didn’t answer it,
she was not the one for me,
there are plenty of fish in the sea.
I need to talk, to have my mood lifted,
everything in my life must be sifted,
I need to see what went wrong,
I need to let go,
I need to stop believing things will ever be the same,
I need to stretch the sore,
and realize that things were as they once were and that the past will be past evermore.
3-4-2002
Water
Lapping lazily against the shore,
The deceptive sea beckons,
Heedlessly I travel more,
And the calculating coast reckons,
I swim farther than I should,
My feet floating above below,
How I thought I could,
Aches begin to show,
My legs grow weary,
I cannot stay afloat,
My eyes grow bleary,
The sea begins to gloat,
Tears stain my cheeks,
Blood leaves my veins,
I climbed a thousand peaks,
Held down by chains,
Alone and free,
I cannot swim,
Out of my mouth comes a silent plea,
And I slip and my eyes go dim.
-3/28/02 10:01:36 pm
"Games" or "Fucking Universe!"
Angry, upset,
am I a plaything,
are things as bad as they can get,
of this world I am not king,
you toy with me and throw my destiny,
let me take control,
I am so tiny,
no role,
except to be rolled.
4-24-02
Friend
Everyday I see you,
I see you sad and yearn to hold you in my arms,
to make you feel all right and make you feel better,
but I cannot,
I was not born attractive or loved,
all I have is my heart, but it is not enough,
friend I will be, always.
Everday I see you,
and long to caress beauty too sweet,
beauty I cannot touch,
Every one of your features I dote,
but how can I ask,
for what the angels of heaven long for,
friend forever, nothing more.
Everyday I see you,
and know we would be happy,
if only I could change the stars,
and make you care for me as I for you,
but I am not a white child who doesn’t know he can't reach for the brass ring,
I understand, but still,
Everyday I see you.
6-5-2002
Delusion,
nothing real,
Delusion,
nothing do I feel,
Only fake,
reality I make,
I want it,
to be so true,
one wish to get,
but my feelings for you,
your feelings for me,
how hopeful I may be,
always reach one conclusion,
My own sick delusion.
9-6-2002 4:55AM - 5:01AM
The Slain Pheonix
Its breathing quickens as its blood flows. It tires of its fight to stay alive, but it fights on. Chained down by the shackles of mortality, its blood scorches the earth.
Was it all not meant to be?
He who rose shall never rise again.
Darkness swirls aroudn him as his eyes lose their sense. Full of fatigue it rolls back and forth, the sea of flames now only a stagnant pond,
He fades.
HE loses his glow.
No new light is found
collapsing into a heap of weary flesh
his light is extinguished
The Pheonix is slain.
9-13-02
Hope
an uncertainty,
windblown, but resiliant,
does the lone wanderer have a chance
in this desolate, deserted plain?
dusk comes and goes,
darkness permeates
then...
a dot appears
and dawn evelops
all the world in its glory
But what will this day bring.
clouds can easily stalk upon
and overtake an overconfident day,
Will the sky's tears rain down.
or shall the sun shine on
in brilliant triumph
I sit reading the forecast.
all predictions
some will be realized others will not.
There is no way of knowing unless--
you live the day and see yourself
My eyes begin to ache
as i wonder
"How long have I stared at
this detached orb?"
Is it for naught?
All the blood
that has been shed, you cannot telle that it is for naught
Yet
you stand there shaking your head
telling me i am a fool
9-16-02
Delusion
Dark, insidious,
the assassin lies,
treachery and betrayal,
pulse with his heart
It races.
Trusted, he edges
closer. Stalking...
upon his hapless unaware prey
He lies there asleep,
his face illuminated by a solitary candle
mostly wick
The assassin's muscles tighten
in anticipation of the strike
that will surely end this man's life
Sinew strain,
muscles flex
and he is scarcely
able to breathe
His quarry lies before him,
wrapped in white sheets,
soon red,
his bloody business is at hand,
he draws his dagger and
plunges it into his own victim's
heart and thus... kills himself
9-16-02
An old man,
weary, waiting,
sits with old hands
worn away by time
grey at the edges
his hands open
a book which he wrote as a vibrant, violent youth
his old jornal, sacred,
untouchable are those times
has his life matched his dreams?
or has it been a waste?
Life blossoms around the old man
he can blossom no more
he lies and waits
for rest
9-25-02
Twiddling my thumbs,
I wait.
I long to hold her,
to protect her,
to love her,
I long to take away her pain
and fill myself with our
happiness
10-2-02
Rain
The Rain Now.
A thousand splashes of cold,
but the sensation is dulled,
for it is washed away
by a single warm ray
of light in my life
who frees me of strife,
indescribable warmth covers,
and like a dam burst smothers
every drop of pain,
A Dam Before.
allowed only a trickle because of the strain
to slink down to my parched throat,
a sea of happiness held back by a wall and a moat,
finally, it has burst and rains; then washes over my every fiber,
one question left to decipher,
why me? how could such a lowly being such as me,
bring happiness to one such as thee?
12-9-02 8:29pm
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