DUCT TAPE VII: Foxy...Wait, He's Not a Lady
by Ebonhawk

A quick puff of breath tossed his reddish bangs out of his face momentarily. Cye clutched the small paper bag tight in his hands and glanced around quickly for the one person he most wanted to avoid at this moment. In his possession was something that would change everything if that person were to get a hold of it. He nearly jumped out of his socks when the wild blue locks of hair came into view over the back of the couch. Rowen was on the couch. From the way he was stretching, it appeared that he'd been quite soundly asleep, too.

"Hey, Cye!" called Kento from the kitchen doorway, "Whatcha got in the bag?"

Rowen's tired eyes blinked lazily at him over the couch, curious.

Cye glared at Kento, mouthing the words, "Shut up!" as he shoved the bag behind his back. Then, politely, he said, "Nothing."

Disappearing for a half-minute behind the couch in a huge yawn, Rowen popped back up and replied, "Yeah, right. What is it?"

"Nothing!"

"Don't get defensive, Cye," Rowen returned to the Brit as Kento moved in closer to inspect.

"I'm not being de-" Cye gasped in shock as Kento snagged the bag out of his tightly clutching hands. "HEY! Give that back!"

The thief had already skipped off to the other side of the room, where he stood sifting through the contents of the bag. "Ooooooo! Check it out!" he said handing it over to Rowen.

The bearer of Strata took the bag and peeked inside. His wide, silly grin was sudden and scary. Leaping to his feet, he cried out happily, "PIXIE STIX!!!" and bolted from the living room.

Angrily, Cye turned on Kento and said, "Thank you SO much. The result of this will be on *your* head."

"I'm sorry," Kento mumbled and was promptly pounded into the floor by Cye.

They sat at the table outside the restaurant calmly, discussing how their schooldays had been. Well, maybe not all of them were sitting calmly. Rowen was fidgeting like mad, twitching and making annoying little noises - in other words, doing whatever the powdered and packaged hyperactivity called Pixie Stix told him to. (He'd devoured the last of them that morning...and to make matters worse, he was still hopped up on the ones he'd basically snorted the night before.)

Ryo leaned over to Kento and whispered into his ear, "I think Ro is going to explode." Kento could only nod his agreement as he watched Rowen go into something that looked rather like a seizure.

"Would you sit still?!" commanded Sage, who was unfortunate enough to be sitting right next to him. He'd had Rowen's fingers spiderwalk up his arm fifteen times in the past five minutes, each time to a different theme music provided by Rowen's sugar-crazed mind, and there was no end in sight. If it didn't stop soon, Sage was going to have to hurt him.

Several mouth-produced sound effects later, Rowen replied in a high pitched squeal, "I am!" He followed this up with a strangled bout of giggling and snorting. Sage glared frostily at Kento, who shrank down into his seat and shrugged meekly. Cye had made certain to tell them *all* who was to blame for this mess.

Ryo just decided to ignore them and waved over the waitress to order another snack. Cye yipped and smacked Rowen's hands away when the blue-haired boy tried to tweak his nose and pour salt on his head. Sage kicked Kento hard on the shin under the table, only mildly satisfied when it produced a grunt and a wince from the round-faced boy.

"Oi! Kurama!" Yusuke called, waving an arm to flag down his redhead friend. Even from across the street, he could see the how the light of his soft smile glittered in the wide green eyes. The youko reborn in human form hurried quickly over to Yusuke and Kuwabara, easily dodging the rush hour traffic. "You wanna go with us to that new cafe?"

"Sure. I've got some time."

Together, the trio wandered toward the cafe, pausing every once in a while to browse the window dressings along the way.

Sage caught a glimpse of red in the corner of his eye and quickly turned his head to investigate. With a low whistle, he elbowed Rowen and nodded at what was coming their way. "Who's the redhead?"

Rowen snickered and said, "Not who you think. That's Shuuichi. I've got him in a couple of my classes, remember?"

Shocked, Sage did a double-take. He'd only seen the guy a few times and never very clearly. Then he realized who the redhead was with and felt stupid. Why would a female hang out with Yusuke and Kuwabara?

A rustling beside him drew his attention away from the boys that were closing in on the cafe. Sage watched as Rowen dug ever deeper into his bag. Grunting in dissatisfaction, Rowen lifted his head, tossed his bookbag aside and grabbed Cye's.

"Hey! Rowen, get out of there!" Cye tried to yank his backpack away unsuccessfully. He could only watch helplessly as his sugar-high friend rooted through his books and belongings. Soon enough, Rowen tossed that bag aside and reached for Ryo's.

"HEY!"

The process was repeated and again he was unsuccessful in finding...well, whatever he was looking for.

Next, he snatched up Kento's bag - who didn't notice, as his face was buried in his plate. Rowen growled in frustration and flung Kento's bag over his shoulder onto the table behind him, disrupting the meal of the couple sitting there. His hands stretched out toward Sage's bag...

"I don't think so," Sage told him with a scowl, moving his bookbag out of Rowen's reach. After a quick moment of thought, Rowen smirked and yanked hard on a handful of blond hair. As Sage cursed and hissed and beat at him, Rowen snaked a hand behind Sage's back and got a strap wrapped around it. Then, before Sage was aware of the deception, "YOINK!" Rowen whipped the bag into his arms and was dumping the contents over their table in seconds.

"Ah-ha! I *knew* someone would have some!" Rowen crowed in triumph. Sitting indolently in a haphazard pile amidst Sage's usual stylish accouterments were five brand-new rolls of duct tape. With a dark and devilish grin, Rowen grabbed one up, turned to Cye and asked with all the innocence of a veteran street-walker, "Yusuke?"

The young Brit stared at Rowen in confusion for a scant second before beaming just as evilly. It seemed Rowen's sugar enhanced sense of mischief was contagious. He nodded fiercely and replied, "Yusuke."

In perfect synchronization, they leapt up from their seats and took off to run the other boy, their target, down like a stampede of rabid lemmings, howling out peculiar obscenities the whole way. Sage, Ryo, and Kento cringed as Yusuke tumbled under the unexpected tackle with nary a sound. (Okay, so maybe he shouted and cussed a whole lot...still, how often does a person get a chance to use a cliche like 'nary a sound'?) After a short struggle, Cye and Rowen were dragging a wildly flailing Yusuke into the nearest alley.

"What are you doing, you bastards?! Yusuke, hang on, I'm coming!" Kuwabara bellowed and prepared to jump into the fray.

At the table, Ryo was suddenly feeling the spirit, as well. He shot a glance at Kento and asked him, "Kuwabara?"

Kento grinned, grabbed a roll of tape, and literally flew out of his chair to take down the rampaging buffalo. Right after him was a just as enthused Ryo. Together, they managed to take the large, orange-haired boy down to the sidewalk without too much trouble.

During all this, the as yet tape-ignored redhead skittered away from the falling bodies and dropped into the seat Ryo had just vacated thankfully. "Well, that was exciting," he commented, vaguely gesturing a hand toward their still scuffling friends as Ryo and Kento dragged Kuwabara the same way Cye and Rowen had disappeared with their victim.

"Wasn't it?" Sage smirked.

R-R-R-R-R-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P!!!

Yusuke's distinctive voice and choice vocabulary vanished from the air. More tearing sounds ensued and the other loud and enraged voice was silenced. Sighing disinterestedly, Sage fingered another roll of tape while the other Ronins soundly wrapped Yusuke and Kuwabara from the shoulders down, just out of sight. It was over within minutes.

Leaving their victims to lie angry and mummified in the deserted alley, Ryo, Kento, Cye, and the far too happy Rowen returned to the table.

"Hey, Shuuichi!" Rowen grinned at the redhead, sitting once again in the chair he'd previously occupied. He began tipping the chair back almost too far and was on the edge of toppling right on over backwards - not that he noticed, being as soundly 'under the influence' as he was. It would be a good long while before the sugar was gone from his system, everyone figured.

Kurama, though, grew wary when Ryo tapped him on the shoulder and calmly told him, "Excuse me, but I was sitting there." Across the table, Sage was coolly tossing his roll of tape from hand to hand, his face devoid of any readable emotion.

The youko glanced at the entrance of the alley where his taped and helpless companions lay, then at the boys surrounding him, and finally at the expert way the blond was now juggling the three remaining rolls of grey, single-sided, adhesive strip.

He made quickly to stand but was shoved back down as Ryo continued, "Do you know what we do to people who take one of our seats?"

Shaking his head, Kurama said, "No. I will find somewhere else to sit if you'll kindly let me go, though."

"Nuh-uh," Kento said, trampling over Kurama's last few words. "Sage?"

"Oh, goody. My turn," the blond smiled. He stood and walked over to the other side of the table, easily pulling tape free from the roll he'd first been toying with.

Kurama bolted to his feet, avoiding Ryo's grasp without a hitch. He dodged swiftly past Cye and Rowen - only to slam smack into Kento. (And that, as we all know, is not a good thing to do.)

"I'm sorry. We're not done with you yet," Kento told him with a grin.

"Why?" Kurama asked when he finally twisted himself around to stare at the advancing Ronins, trying to remain calm.

"Because we can," was the only reply Ryo or any of the others would give him.

The youko squirmed around and finally was able to throw a sharp elbow into his captor's gut. Kento grunted and released Kurama, his eyes tearing as he rubbed at the soon to be bruised area. "That hurt!"

"Really?" Kurama asked sarcastically. Standing ready for any attack that might be leveled at him, Kurama then called out to his friends. "Yusuke! Kuwabara! Are you all right?"

The only response was a whole lot of muffled noises that might have been yelling and screaming were it not for the duct tape gags getting in the way. Unfortunately, during this time, Kurama was distracted just long enough for the Ronins to make their move.

First, Ryo jumped at the youko. Quick on his feet, Kurama saw him coming and was out of the way as Ryo crashed down on the cement. Oh, he was having a hard time not resorting to his youko talents! Just thinking of trying to explain himself to these freaks later was enough of a deterrent, though.

Then, Cye and Rowen took matters into their own hands and hopped into action. They quickly had the redhead overpowered - sort of - and called for Sage to get to work with the 'wrapping ceremony.'

Kurama got a glance at something behind Sage the moment he was about to tape his mouth shut and saw something that made him want to leap for joy. "Hiei!" he cried out to the little, black-clad youkai, then not a word more. Sage layered the tape on thick to keep any other sound from escaping.

"Hold his hands out, guys," Sage ordered Rowen and Cye. He got to work binding his slim wrists securely, moving immediately after that to his ankles and then upward in the time honored process of mummification.

"What are you doing to him?" queried a quiet voice from behind Sage's back.

"Just tapin' him up," Kento explained, arms folded across his chest.

"And why are you doing this?"

"Because he was hanging out with Yusuke and Kuwabara," Sage muttered, still efficiently wrapping the wriggling Kurama. He was up to the redhead's waist now and had his hands taped tight against his body.

Held firmly in Rowen and Cye's grasping hands, Kurama glared at Hiei. Was he just going to stand there asking questions or was he going to do something?! The tape had reach his elbows and Sage didn't appear to be stopping anytime soon.

Suddenly, Rowen's eyes practically popped out of his head as he watched the little guy Kurama had just shared a meaningful glower with. Hiei had leapt straight up and was attaining a height that made Rowen's brain shut down. "Woah! Look at that! That guy's jumpin' like he's a flea or something!"

"Only you would compare someone to a parasitic insect, Ro," Sage laughed, now working on the formerly thrashing redhead's shoulders. "Hmm. Maybe I should have had you guys hold his hair out of the way? Oh well, too late now." Sage tore the tape off the roll and smoothed the new end over the youko's shoulder. "All done. Why don't you-"

The blond thwumped down on the cement as Hiei landed on him. Sage didn't move, other than to blink in surprise at the sharp edge of a katana that had suddenly appeared beside his neck. "Let him go," the fire demon demanded.

"Why should we?" Rowen asked, trying to stare the intruder down. A match of epic proportions ensued. Blue eyes bored into ruby and vice versa. Noses came almost into physical contact. Then, Rowen blinked. "Dammit! I lost!"

"Yes!" cried Hiei, lifting his blade away from Sage as he did a little victory dance...a mere moment before he was bowled over by the hulking locomotive called Kento.

"Somebody get the tape!!!" bellowed the big Ronin. He was quickly answered by all four of his friends with all the duct tape they could get their hands on. As Kento held the squirming Hiei down, Rowen and Cye got down to business. The ripping roar of duct tape was loud for all denizens of the area to hear.

They easily transported their two final victims into the alley and returned to their table.

"Ah'm so tahr'd," Rowen yawned, slumping over onto Kento's shoulder, eyelids almost completely closed.

Sage stared intently at his friend. Could it be over? Was Rowen really finished with the sugar-rush and on to the sugar-low? Dare he even consider it might happen so soon?

"'Ahnna go t' bed."

Yes, it was over.

"Let's get him home," Cye suggested, with an amused smile.

They shared a long, loud laugh when Rowen - dead asleep - let himself slip sideways into Kento's lap. His head was pillowed nicely on a thigh and he began to softly snore.

With one last chuckle, Ryo said, "Let's go."

Between them, Kento and Sage dragged Rowen to the car.

Unfortunately, they were all so occupied with getting the blue-haired boy into the vehicle that they did not notice the strange goings-on in the alley.

The tape smoked and shriveled and hissed as Hiei burned his way through it. He was *not* so easily taken. Snarling, he turned back to Kurama and freed him. Only Kurama's hand on his shoulder kept him from going after their attackers.

"Hiei, there's a better way to get them back."

They watched the Ronins zoom away in their clunker-mobile, ignoring the muffled protests of Yusuke and Kuwabara for a long minute. His fury still smoldering, Hiei let Kurama turn him back and lead him over to the wriggling companions.

"I can't believe Mouri was involved in this," Yusuke blurted as soon as the tape was torn from his mouth. "He doesn't seem the type."

"You should know better than to underestimate anyone, Yusuke," Kurama said, peeling the rest of the tape away from his friend.

"Watch it with that sword, shrimp!" Kuwabara cried as Hiei sliced through the grey stuff holding him immobile.

"I should have left you gagged," Hiei retorted.

"Kurama, you told Hiei there was a better way to get them back. How?" Yusuke asked, sitting with his back to the side of cafe.

"Well, it goes like this..."

END