note: This showed up after many long hours of no thought and a
good 'OD'ing on what few episodes I have. As I thought, the
insanity is contagious and it has now infected Gundam Wing as
well as Ronin Warriors. Have fun!

Duct Tape GW
Mission One: Duo, Shut-up
by Ebonhawk

"I mean, y'know, if we actually did it that way, we wouldn't have to worry about that thing at the end of the deal," Duo babbled. Heero had stopped paying any mind to what the other was saying over an hour ago, so whatever the *hell* he was going on about now, the Japanese pilot had NO idea what to think of it. "So, what do you think?"

Heero blinked and glanced away from the flashing screen of his laptop to stare at the braid that masqueraded as a boy. "Hn." He turned back to his work and ignored the question...not that he'd have known how to answer anyway.

"Well?" Duo continued, bouncing a little on the mattress of his bed, curiosity glowing bright in his wide, sparkling eyes. "I personally think that it would work...although we might have a bit of a problem getting Wufei in that skirt. He doesn't hit me as the type to wear short, black, and leather for fun. Now, me, on the other hand-"

Piercing blue eyes, narrowed dangerously, cut off the American's next words. "Duo?"

"Yes, Heero?"

"Shut-up."

"Yes, Heero."

Several minutes passed uneventfully. Then, Duo pulled out his beat-up, old walkman and popped the earphones on. He flopped back on his bed and cranked up the volume. Heero could ignore the small bit of sound that filtered out to where he could hear it...but then, Duo started mumbling along with the words, wiggling in time with the beat, messing his blankets. Gritting his teeth in irritation, Heero decided it was better to dismiss this, as well, and continued working.

Soon, though, the mumbling and wiggling became out right singing and dancing, loud and room-filling. Heero stood, captured Duo's swinging braid in a tightly clenched fist and yanked *hard*.

"OW!" Duo exclaimed, pulling off the earphones and scowling at his attacker. "Whatcha do that for?!" He rubbed at his head, trying to soothe his abused scalp.

"Shut-up and sit down," Heero growled.

Duo stuck out his tongue as Heero turned away, then sat on his bed with a huff of boredom. He reached for his walkman again only to squeak in surprise as Heero's lightning-fast hand snagged it right from under his nose and threw it out the barely open window.

"Dammit. You're no fun, Heero," he muttered as he dropped back down flat on his back and stared at his bare feet. He stretched his toes and suddenly grinned wide and cheeky. Clearing his throat, he began to amuse himself.

"'Hello, Mr. Toe,' said Miss Toe to the strong, handsome fellow across the way.

"'Why, hello to you, too, Miss Toe,' replied Mr. Toe to the beeeee-YOO-tee-ful lady. Suddenly, out of nowhere, it seemed, a gang of unruly thug-toes attacked, taking Miss Toe hostage and stomping Mr. Toe into the ground without mercy!

"'Hah! We have you now! What're ya gonna do about it?'"

THWACK!!!

"OWWW!!!" Duo rubbed fiercely at the top of his head where the thick, hardbound book had come into solid contact with it.

"I said, shut up."

"Fine! Just stop hitting me."

Heero sniffed and, again, returned to his work. Maybe he would get lucky and Duo would leave the room...

"I'm going outside."

Heero ceased all movement as he listened to the other boy slip something on his feet, stand, make his way across the room, and then step out the door, closing it with a soft click behind him. The Japanese pilot barely resisted the urge to get up and do a little victory dance. Instead, he showed his joy by mouthing quietly about a million "thank you's" before getting back down to business.

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Duo stood outside on the basketball court. The sun was shining brightly, others were playing a rough game on another blacktop a little ways over on his right. He snatched up a ball and took a few shots, soundly miffing himself off when he missed most of them.

Bouncing the ball with one hand, he realized just how boring it was to try playing alone when you felt the need for friendship. He stopped for a moment, then looked up at the window of the room he was sharing with Heero and remembered the walkman incident. Maybe it had survived the impact!

Much to his dismay, he found the shattered remnants of his walkman laying forlornly under the bushes along the side of the school. After a short pout, Duo wandered back out onto the ball court and blew his bangs out of his face...for a short moment, anyway.

"I'm so bored," he muttered. Looking back up at the window, he suddenly got an idea.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

He'd gotten *much* more done in the few minutes Duo had been out of the room than whole time Duo had been in the room to pester him. Maybe he should kick him out every time he needed to do something from now on?

"HEEEEEEEERRROOOOOOO!!!" the unmistakable voice floated to him through the open window. No, make that *bombarded him* through the open window. He cringed and tried to block it out of his head. "HEEEEEEEERRROOOOO!!! Come down here!!!"

Almost against his will, Heero rose from his chair and slowly moved toward the window. He knew he was going to regret this. Frowning, he stared down at the ground outside where Duo bounced around like an idiot, arms waving high in the air, trying to attract his attention. He raised an eyebrow in question.

"Come outside! You need to do something besides sit in front of that computer all day!"

Heero scowled and turned away, heading back to his work. Then, just as he sat down and had his fingers whirring over the keys...

"HEEEEEEERRRRROOOOOOO!!! Are you ignoring me?!?"

His eyes narrowed and he forced his fingers to continue.

"HEEEEEERRRROOOOOOO!!! Come on!!!"

His face began to twitch. He made a typo.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRROOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

He snarled and reached for his bag. Digging out the item he wanted in no time flat, Heero was up and out the door before a person could say the word-

"HEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRROOOOOOOOO!!!"

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Duo, hands planted firmly on his hips, thumped his foot repeatedly against the blacktop in annoyance. Heero couldn't ignore him forever...no one could. He readied himself for another long hollering of the other pilot's name when, from behind him, he heard a voice, low and dangerous.

"Duo..." Heero spoke the name spitefully, "you will *not* bother me like that ever again."

Fitfully chewing on the end of his braid, Duo truly expected to feel the cold metal of Heero's gun touch against the back of his head. He was totally taken by surprise when he heard a loud, almost tearing sound fill the air instead. Heero had just found a good use for the roll of duct tape he'd snagged on purest whim a few days ago.

R-R-R-R-R-R-R-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-P-P-P-P-P-P-P!!!

Heero tackled Duo to the hard ground and set about slapping several short strips of duct tape across his mouth. Then, still straddled across Duo's chest, Heero pulled more tape free of the roll and set about winding it around Duo's body, from the shoulders down. Of course, Duo struggled for all he was worth but, in the end, and against Heero, it wasn't worth *much*.

With a sniff of satisfaction, Heero stood and looked down on the mostly grey bundle that was Duo. The tape would definitely hold him for a good, long time. He'd even trapped that damn braid under the tape so it wouldn't get in his way.

Heero hefted Duo over a shoulder and lugged him, with all his squirming and muffled protests, back up to their shared room. The closet would be a good place to store the idiot for a few days, he thought with a little smile on his lips.

END