note: ...help...they're back. Trust me, as this series goes on,
the boys will be less and less in character as circumstances
grow stranger and stranger. In this one: Beware the Trowa scene
and Heero's collection/obsession... ^_^'

Duct Tape GW
Mission Two: Justice!
by Ebonhawk

"C'mon! Just try it on! It can't be that bad, can it?"

"No, Maxwell. I will *not* try it on."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"Absolutely not."

"Oh, c'mon, Wu! Pleasepleaseplease?!"

Wufei glared at the deadly puppy eyes Duo leveled at him...and the short, black, and leather thing the other held out to him.

"If it doesn't fit, we'll put it on Quatre. I promise. You just gotta do this for me, though. Pleeeeeeeeeease?"

"Never. If you're so set on someone wearing it, why don't you put it on yourself?"

Duo grimaced. "Uh-uh. You know me, Duo "Bubble-butt" Maxwell. This baby definitely got back. Believe me, it wouldn't work, man." He twisted around, attempting to see the rear he patted with a hand as his proof.

"Make it work," Wufei told the American as he left the room, slamming the door behind him. He was beginning to regret that he'd helped Duo out of his little mess with the duct tape. Maybe Heero'd had the right idea?

He wandered down the hall, not really looking for anything...just passing time. Pausing to consider his options, Wufei thought longingly on his gundam. Because of this idiotic school where he and his companions were for the next week, he'd basically been banned from visiting. He sighed. How would he survive? At least now he'd finally gotten away from Duo.

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~woobly, woobly, woobly - this is a flashback~
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Opening the door of the closet in the small room Heero and Duo were sharing early that morning to search for a small item that he preferred no one knew about - he'd stuffed it into an odd pocket of Duo's without the other boy knowing to smuggle it into the area - Wufei found a wriggling mass of grey tape that was strangely body-shaped under the well-developed pile of stuff that had grown on the floor of the closet.

Curious, he pushed some of the heaped articles of clothing and whatnot aside to reveal the visible half of Duo's face. Wufei blinked in silent surprise. Heero had informed them all that Duo had vanished without a trace a couple of days ago. Had he been *here* the whole time? How had he ended up looking like a duct taped mummy in the closet? Well, there was only one thing for it!

Duo's creative cursing was long and loud...and rather informative on how to accomplish all sorts of things with one's body Wufei had thought anatomically impossible.

He was exceedingly glad he wasn't Heero.

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~woobly, woobly, woobly - end flashback~
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The living braid had been pestering him with that blasted skirt and his hair-brained (*snicker* sorry about that...) scheme for most of the morning. What could possibly have put the idea that he should, could, and would wear it into Duo's fool head? Not to mention wearing it to a social function of *that* sort?

"Wufei!" called Quatre from the end of the hall. "Come over here."

"As long as it has nothing to do with Duo!" he yelled back.

"What?"

"I found him...wrapped in tape, lying on the floor of his and Heero's closet."

Quatre came into view, his gentle face filled with puzzlement. "I wonder how that happened?"

A loud snort of amusement came from the room behind Quatre, obviously Trowa.

"He told me Heero attacked him for no reason, used the tape on him, and then threw him in there Friday afternoon. I guess Heero never even opened the closet door over the whole weekend," Wufei explained.

Another couple of snorts from Trowa.

"Now why would Heero do something like that?" wondered the Arabian boy, running a hand through his pale blond hair. "Especially to Duo? They're such good friends."

Loud, choking laughter suddenly filled the air. Trowa?!

Quatre spun about on his heels to stare into the room, Wufei rushing the last few meters to peer inside over the other boy's shoulder. Rolling on the floor, holding his gut as if it were going to burst open any moment, was Trowa. What they could see of his face appeared to be turning colors from lack of oxygen.

"Trowa! Breathe!" Quatre told him, landing on his knees beside the convulsing figure.

"T-t-TRY-rying to!" the taller gundam pilot gasped, tears streaming down his face, his green eyes closed tight. "Hee hee hee...*snort*...hah hah hah...*giggle*..."

Quatre turned to look up at Wufei, who had joined him and was standing at Trowa's other side. "I've never seen him like this before. What do you think could have done it?"

Thinking it over for a short moment, Wufei knew the answer. He said only one word. "Duo."

Trowa gasped as another spasm of laughter shot through his body.

Quatre blinked. Then grinned. "Duo."

Trowa gasped again.

"Heero."

A slightly smaller gasp.

"Duo."

A keening shriek of mirth.

"Quatre-" Wufei started.

A spluttering of garbled giggles.

"-I think that's enough of that." Wufei watched Trowa hugging himself and pounding his feet into the floor with total abandon as the guffaws worked their way up from his toes. "We don't want him to hurt himself with such an unfamiliar activity."

"Ow! ...hee hee hee... Too late! Ow ow ow ow ow ow...hee hee hee..."

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Duo held the skirt up in front of himself. It was *barely* long enough to cover everything a skirt should...and more than short enough that attempting to do anything other than stand or walk normally would give anyone looking a nice eyeful of...well, you know. It would look so perfect on Wufei, too.

"Speaking of Wu," Duo muttered, "I can't believe how rude he was. All I did was ask him to wear this thing to the school dance this weekend before we leave! Geez, you'd think I'd asked him to slow-dance with Treize, too..." Duo paused to consider the images that put into his sick little mind and snickered.

Wufei *had* to wear the skirt now! Whatever it took to accomplish that, he would do! Duo promised himself that Wufei would be stuffed into the damn skirt if it was the last thing either one of them ever did.

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A couple of hours later...

He sat calmly and quietly before his computer, fingers whirring over the keys as he accessed information he couldn't let anyone else see him looking at...especially his companions. He'd never live it down if they knew he spent his free time searching for the one Teletubbies doll his collection was missing... Hell, forget the dolls - he'd never live it down if they knew he *liked* Teletubbies!

Heero stiffened when he heard someone nearing his door as they walked down the hall. Please don't let it be Duo! he prayed. Please?! He'd discovered his room mate 'rescued' upon returning from his final class of the day, much to his dismay. It had taken all of his willpower *not* to knock that Chinese boy flat on his ass when he'd found out who'd done it.

A voice filtered through the door.

"Wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuufei...where are you?" he heard Duo croon. The door cracked open and the wide, near-violet eyes peered in at him. "Oi, Heero! You seen Wu?"

"No!" he blurted, throwing his uniform jacket over the screen. The dancing figure of Tinkie Winkie vanished from casual view behind the thick material.

"What are you doing?"

Damn Duo and his insatiable curiosity! "Nothing."

"Yeah, right. What are you hiding from me?"

Heero stood, walked the handful of steps to Duo, placed his palm on the too perky face, and shoved Duo's head out of the room. He slammed the door and locked it with a fierce finality that he hoped resounded on the other side.

"Don't worry!" shouted Duo through the door, "I'll find out what you're up to later!" His footsteps moved down the hall, leaving Heero with the call of, "Wuuuuuuuuuufei! C'mere, man! I got something for ya!" slowly fading as Duo moved farther away.

Sitting back down at his desk with a relieved sigh, Heero pulled the jacket away from the screen and chuckled at the dancing doll, sipping from his glass of water.

"You like Teletubbies?" asked a voice from behind him. His eyes flew wide in utter shock. Wufei! What was *he* doing in the room?! Choking on the water, Heero attempted to stand and block Wufei's view of the monitor. He was totally and completely unsuccessful.

A strong hand pounded on his back.

"Are you okay?"

Heero turned to Wufei with a scowl. Grabbing the other boy by the shirt collar, he threatened, "If you so much as breathe a word about what you've seen here, I will kill you."

Wufei blinked. "Guess I'm safe then, huh?"

Heero dropped him back to the floor with a huff. "Shut up. What are you doing in here?"

"Hiding from Duo," came the answer without a moment of hesitation. Wufei dropped to sit on the corner of the nearest bed. "He's been following me around all day."

Fists planted on his hips, Heero raised a brow. "The skirt?"

With a shudder, Wufei nodded.

Heero reached for his bag. "You let him loose, *you* put him back." He dug around for the object his search and then handed it to the other boy. Gesturing toward the door, he said, "Remember, tell anyone about the 'tubbies, you're dead."

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"Wu-man! There you are! I've been looking for you," Duo announced, hurrying toward his friend. He ran across the basketball court, ready to tackle Wufei down to the ground. That skirt was going to be on him before the day was over. Duo figured that if he at least tried it on, he would feel more apt to wear it to the school function.

Slipping into a defensive crouch, Wufei grabbed Duo about the waist as he came barreling into him. Using Duo's own momentum to slam the boy to the ground on his back, he then dropped himself on top of Duo, landing hard. Duo's breath was blasted from his lungs and he floundered under the unexpected counterattack.

"Wha-what ...are *huff, puff* you...do-doing?!"

R-R-R-R-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-P-P-P-P!!!

"AW, MAN! Not again!"

Wufei took to re-wrapping Duo in duct tape with great zeal. He started at the shoulders and worked his way down to the ankles in record time, ignoring all of his victim's cries and pleas for mercy, the threats and warnings of revenge.

"You are *SO* on my list, Wu!" were the last words to exit Duo's mouth before several strips of tape found themselves slapped across Duo's face.

Wufei stood with the now empty roll in his hand. With a sniff of satisfaction, he gazed down on the finished product of his work. A tiny smirk worked across his lips. "Justice is mine."

"You did it wrong," spoke a newcomer at his shoulder.

"How so, Heero?" he asked.

"You should have *started* with the mouth."

"Ah! I'll remember that next time." He leaned over and snagged up the bit of black leather Duo had dropped then - turning to face Heero - held it up and continued, "I think I know what to do with this. Do you agree with me?"

His answer was a conniving twitch of Heero's lips. Together, they moved off the blacktop, leaving Duo where he lay...squirming.

END