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Tears
By
Selphiebabe

Selphie faces the fact she may have to live without Irvine

Selphie stared at her boots, refusing to look up at the broken body of her cowboy.  He was so strong…why did this happen?  She tried not to think about it.  After all, her friends were here.  They mustn’t see her cry.  She must not cry…must not…

 “Selphie, you ok?”

 It was Zell.  He sat down beside her, worry reflecting in his wide blue eyes.

 Selphie looked away.  “I’m fine, Zell.”  Don’t break down now.  Don’t let them see what you’re really feeling.  You’re the comedy relief, you have to cheer the others up.  But Irvine…

 The room was silent, coldly silent.  Irvine’s sharp gasps as he struggled to breathe were painfully audible.  He wasn’t gonna wake up, wasn’t ever gonna wake up.

 Squall frowned, watch the little brunette strive to keep it all in.  This wasn’t like her.  “Selphie,” he said finally.

 She looked up reluctantly, and Squall could see the terror in those naïve green eyes.  Terror…and anguish.
 “You can cry, Selphie,” he told her gently, crossing the room to sit on her other side.  “Sometimes…it’s the best thing to do.”

 Selphie didn’t answer.  She got up, and walked to the center of the room, leaning over the infirmary bed, her hands resting lightly on the cold metal railing.

 Irvine looked strangely beautiful in his deathlike state.  He had been in a coma for two weeks now.  Dr. Kadowaki had done all she could to repair his ruined body, but now it was all up to him.  And the chances were slim.  He was dying.

 Again, Selphie wished fervently that she hadn’t allowed him to go on the Esthar mission.  She had had a feeling…but ignored it.  What a mistake.  She remembered the day he had left with frightening clarity.
 He leaned against the Ragnarok casually, his tall, lean frame relaxed in his favorite position, Exeter resting on his shoulder.  He brushed his chestnut hair away from his face and looked up to see his little girlfriend running towards him.  She flew into his arms, and he lifted her up, kissing her softly.  Selphie wrapped her arms around him, and kissed back.  “I don’t want you to go,” she whispered.

 Irvine smiled.  “Sorry, darlin’.  I have to.  I‘m a SeeD now, like you.  I’ll be back in a week, I promise.”
 Quistis appeared from the ship, her blonde hair flying in the wind.  “Irvine, we have to go.  Come on!”
 “Alright, Quisty.  Give me a sec. “

 They stood together, arms wrapped around each other, reluctant to let go.  Then Irvine loosened his hold on her, and turned to leave.

 Selphie pouted, which made him laugh.  “You’re so cute when you’re upset, Butterfly.”  He kissed her once more, then headed up the plank to the ship.  Selphie watched him go, a strange feeling of foreboding in her heart.

 Pausing at the top, Irvine turned around, flashed her the smile that was so popular amongst the ladies, then disappeared.

  Later, Quistis had told her that Irvine was already weak when the ruby dragon had attacked.  Separated from him by a blue dragon, the Instructor and Zell couldn’t help the cowboy.  They were fighting for their own lives.  Irvine had fallen easily.

 The tears came.  Sparingly at first, then in rushes, downpours of liquid sapphire cascading down her face.  “You can’t die, Irvy!”  She sobbed, her small body shaking in grief.

 Absorbed in their own emotions, no one moved to comfort her.  Selphie felt all alone.

 Suddenly, a hand reached up to touch her cheek, brushing her tears away.  Irvine.  Selphie stared into those stunning blue eyes, and he smiled.  “Don’t cry, Sefie,” he whispered.  His body was racked in coughs, and a trickle of blood appeared on his lower lip.  “I..can’t stand it…when…a woman..cries.”

 Selphie bent over and kissed him, licking the blood from his lips.  “Who’s crying?  Not me,” she murmured.

 He smiled weakly.  “Good.  I don’t…want…any tears…shed…over me…especially …yours, Butterfly.”
 Rinoa came back into the room, followed by an excited Dr. Kadowaki.  She began prodding him gently, checking his wounds.  Selphie held his hand as he winced in pain.

 Everyone crowded around the doctor nervously, waiting for the verdict.

 Finally, she stood up, smiling.  “He’ll live.”

 The tension that had held in that little room for two weeks finally broke and the teenagers looked at each other, and grinned.

 Irvine cracked a faint smile.  “That’s…great…news…Doctor.”

 Selphie’s eyes watered, and she beamed as she began to cry again.  But the pain was gone, and it its place was a glimmer of hope.