You should know all the copyright crap by now. "Chrono Trigger: Eros" belongs to Raye Delumina and she is MORE than welcome to it. As always, DO NOT e-mail me with flames if you don't like the fact that I MSTed this fic. Instead of being immature brats and starting a 'net riot, just tell me. Okay? Problem solved.


In a past that doesn't really exist,
Guardia 1000 A.D.
There was a boy named Crono,
Very different from you and me!
His friend Lucca made an invention one day,
But it malfunctioned and took over
Now we're doomed! Bombs away!

It sends them cheesy fan fics,
The worst it can find (lalala)
They have to sit and watch them all
Or it'll take over their minds (lalala)
Now keep in my Crono can't control
Where the fanfics begin or end.
He'll try to keep what's left of his sanity,
With the help of his friends (?)

Hero Roll Call!

Marle! ("Crono! Cronocronocrono!")
Lucca! ("Now I'm sure this invention will work...")
Magus! ("Prepare for the void!")
Glenn! ("Ribbit!")
Schaaaaaaaaaaaaaaala! ("What am I doing here!?)

If you're wondering how they eat and breath
and other science facts,
Just repeat to yours "it's based off a video game
I should really just relax"
For Mystery Chrono Theater 1000! (twang...?)

<0>1><2><3><4><5><6><7><0>

Lucca shimmied up the last of the ivy outside princess Nadia's window and tumbled in through the open pane, followed closely by Glenn, Crono, Magus and Schala. Marle jumped off the bed to help her up.
"At last! You're here!" Marle exclaimed, waving a stack of papers. "But it wasn't necessary for all of you to come..."
Magus groaned. "Now she tells us..."
"Oh, you have to stay!" Marle laughed. "You and Lucca and Schala, I think."
"So I can leave?" Glenn asked. "All right!"
Without waiting for an answer or anything resembling one, Glenn was back out the window...and Crono followed quite swiftly.
"Hey, wait for me!" Marle called after them. She turned to look at the three chosen (cursed?) ones. "Well, good luck!"
With that Marle hopped out the window too. Magus groaned and pulled the screen down, then plopped down on Marle's bed.
Oh, here it comes!" Lucca exclaimed. "We've got fanfic siiiiiiiiiiiiiiign!"

<0>1><2><3><4><5><6><7><0>

>>Chrono Trigger Eros, Part 2:

All: Electric Boogaloo!
Lucca: We should've known it would be this disaster area again >.<

>>"He loves her for her mind"

Lucca: I've suddenly got this bad feeling...

>>By Raye deLumina

Schala: Mars Fire Ignite, non!?

>>"It was incredible Lucca, the way he moved, the way he was gentle. It >>was terrific!"

Magus: For you, maybe, but we're still hurting.

>>Marle was talking to Lucca at the usual place, the fountain in the >>center of Truce.

Lucca: Perfect place for Marle to announce her sex life to the world!
Magus: And your lack there of.
Lucca: Hey!

>>They were discussing the events of the previous night's affairs, the >>quiet, romantic, sexual encounter between Marle and Crono.

Schala: Quiet?
Others: Check.
Schala: Sexual?
Others: Check.
Schala: Romantic?
(wind howling, crickets chirping...no answer...)

>>"Wow, Marle, I guess it was worth all the trouble, with his mom and >>all...you finally got what you wanted, and you liked it too..."
>>"What's the matter, Lucca? You seem downtrodden."

Lucca: (as her ficself) Oh, I know. Robo malfunctioned and ran over me this morning.

>>"Well, I always thought I would screw a guy first, seeing as how I'm >>the one who studies human nature..."

Schala:...which has jackall to do with it!
Magus: Maybe if she waves her flat chest around in enough faces some guy will rape her. That is, if he's not afraid of jailbait.
Lucca: >.< Is it just me or is Magus a tad...darker this time around?

>>"It's just not your time. What are you studying human nature for, >>anyway?"
>>"For nothing really, I suppose. I learned that sometimes male anger >>is caused by their built sexual tension."

Lucca: Technically sexual tension can make anyone edgy, not just men. It's just that men are more likely to rape someone.
Schala: Or so we let them believe. (winks at the camera)

>>"Really? So basically if a guy is angry but you lay him, he'll stop >>being angry?"

Magus:...did I really just read that?
Lucca: You mean to tell me that a guy would be rendered blissfully happy if he got laid?
Magus: No, that's not it. But...Well damn, lack of sex isn't the only reason we get angry!
Schala: It's just one of...several.

>>"Supposedly."
>>"Well, find yourself a really angry guy, and you're set."

Magus: Feeling of dread...feeling of dread...

>>Marle giggled. Suddenly, she stopped.

Lucca: Marle probably should have taken that wall into note...

>>She noticed a figure approach from the distance. It walked slowly >>toward the fountain, which was unusual for the suspect on his way.
>>"Oh Marle, I think I see someone... wait! It's your best friend! And >>Crono's coming too!"

Schala: (giggles) Oh look! A line with real humor!
Magus: Be still my heart! It's a miracle!
Lucca: >.< I would never say something like that...

>>"You're just jealous."
>>Crono approached slowly, shoulders slumped, face hiding under the >>orange cloth tied around his neck. He stopped four feet away from >>Marle, standing with his arms behind his back.

Schala: Isn't the woman supposed to be the subdued one after sex?

>>"Hey Crono, I thought I was the one getting etiquette lessons from >>Marle. You're the one who goes to night school to take anatomy >>classes from her!"

Lucca: Oh look...I made a funny...he he he...duhhhh...

>>"LUCCA!"
>>Marle stared wide-eyed at Lucca, while Lucca watched Crono's face >>sink even lower under his scarf to hide his blushing cheeks.
>>"I guess I'll get going, so you can concentrate while Marle teaches >>you the basics of human reproduction!"

Magus: Didn't they study that last time? I mean, they had no protection, right?
Lucca: I really do not like myself in this fic...

>>Marle buried her face in her hands, giggling. But something suddenly >>occurred to her.
>>"Lucca! Wait! I have something for you!"
>>"What?"

Schala: (as fic Marle, with a baseball bat) This is for all those nasty vibrator jokes! *wham!*
Magus: (ducking!) Yeow! Watch where you're swinging that thing!

>>"I found this letter in a metal box near the gates to the castle. It >>was addressed for you."

Lucca: (as her ficself) And it couldn't have been delivered to my house...why?
Schala: Lazy mailman and the princesses who execute them. Next on Guardia news at Ten!

>>Marle handed the note to Lucca.
>>"Hmm... thanks Marle, I'll read it over. I'll meet you guys for lunch >>later, ok? If you guys aren't too busy eating each other..."

All: O.o
Magus: There goes any semblance of appetite I might have had...

>>Lucca walked off, listening to Crono's wild giggles at Lucca's >>remarks.

Schala: Miss Delumina, pronouns are your friends.

>>* * *
>>Lucca sat at her desk, overlooking the outside of the ragged piece of >>paper with her name on it. The handwriting was old style, and looked >>scratched into the surface of the paper, as if the writer purposely >>pushed harder than needed. A small blotch on the first "C" indicated >>that the tip of the writing tool broke in mid letter.

Lucca: So the author decides that now would be a good time to start using detailed description?

>>Her new contact lenses had let her see these little details. She was >>unsure of what was in the letter, but decided to overcome her useless >>fear and open the note.

All: It's about damn time!

>>Dear Lucca;

Magus: (reading the letter) It seems someone has purloined my precious comma, so I'm afraid I must subsitute with a semi-colon.
Voice of Eon: My english teacher'd shit grammar books!

>>I send this letter in haste, in hopes that my request will be >>fulfilled with equal speed. Through various studies of time and >>dimension, I've discovered some important hypotheses that need to be >>confirmed.

Schala: Actually, I don't think that's the right plural for that word.
Lucca: I'm not sure that word has a plural...

>>I was hoping you and your infinite knowledge would be of assistance >>to my work. Please come by and see me.

Magus: (reading the letter) Signed, the biggest suck up you will ever meet in your life.

>>Magus

Magus: (blinking) You talking to me, fic?

>>Lucca was flabbergasted.

All: (giggle)
Schala: It sounds like she's got really bad gas!

>>No, this isn't real. Impossible. This isn't the evil bastard I know. >>Please isn't in his vocabulary.

Magus: No, but "die you snot faced bitch" sure is!
Schala: Janus!
Magus: Sorry...

>>Lucca thought about it for a moment, wondering if he was telling the >>truth.
>>Can I trust him? Maybe I should go. Yeah, I should.

Lucca: Did this fic go first person all of a sudden?

>>After all, he did help us all out when we needed to get Crono back. I >>should pay him a visit, just as a courtesy.

Lucca: Magus...you came along with us *only* because you wanted another chance at Lavos...right?
Magus: Correct.
Lucca: Thought so.

>>Maybe I'll see Frog there. He could bring me up on the castle news >>after I'm done with Magus. Come to think of it, I'm interested in >>knowing just how the queen is.
>>So Lucca decided to jump in the Epoch and visit the Middle Ages.

Schala: Technically it's still pretty middle ages where...um, when, you guys live. The high tech stuff doesn't come til later.

>>* * *
>>After some short flying and a quick jump into hyperspace,

Lucca: Which was over all disasterous, since hyperspace deals with distance, not time.

>>her and the Epoch

Schala: She and the Epoch.
Lucca: Is that correct?
Schala: Sounds better that way.

>>landed before the entrance to Magus' Castle. She jumped out and >>headed toward the large, dark, scary hunk of black stone that seemed >>to take the shape of a castle.

Magus: Ooo, scary. I live in a vaguely castle shaped hunk of coal...since when?

>>She approached a large entrance, sealed off by double doors. She >>knocked. The knock seemed to echo throughout the entire building.

Lucca: Hey, I may be a pervert in this story but at least I'm a polite pervert!

>>In a few minutes, the doors clicked and opened, revealing a >>moderately lit inner chamber, barely decorated.

Magus: (with more than a hint of pride) It's beautiful, isn't it?

>>Magus appeared from behind the door dressed with simple pants, boots, >>and leather body armor, and with a dismal expression, he ushered her >>in, silently.

Schala: I want to know what his clothing discription has to do with how he invited her in.
Lucca: Nothing. It's ***EXTREME POINTLESS DISCRIPTION ACTION***

>>She walked into the center of the room, stood with her arms politely >>behind her back, and looked around.
>>"Place hasn't changed much, Magus. Still as dark as the first time we >>came in to try and kill you."

Magus: Polite, yes, but not all that discreet.
Lucca: She's a pervert, yanno.

>>Lucca heard Magus close the doors behind her and lock them.
>>"I know. I haven't had much time to do anything."

Magus: (in a high, girly voice with a bad New York accent) Interior decorating is so not my forte!

>>"That's understandable."
>>Lucca looked over toward a hallway, where she saw a desk with a >>lantern lit on the side.
>>"Are we ready to get to work?"

Lucca: Only if work includes a badly written erotica scene.
Schala: Lucca, the title is "Chrono Trigger: Eros".
Lucca: So? Eros is the Greek god of love. It has nothing to do with really bad hentai.

>>Suddenly, Lucca heard a click. She felt an odd rough material on her >>wrists. She tried to move her arms apart. They were chained together!

Magus: You know...that just strikes me as something you'd notice being done to you.

>>"Now we are."
>>"What the hell are you doing?"

Schala: Chaining you up, obviously.

>>"Its time you learned a lesson, Lucca. Its time I took what you took >>from me!"

Lucca: (as her ficself) All right, geez! You can have your Slim Jim back! Now let me go!

>>"Are you insane? What are you talking about?"
>>"You stupid little girl... you have no idea, do you."

Schala: (as Lucca) Obviously! I wouldn't have asked if I knew!

>>Magus grabbed the chain and pulled at it, knocking Lucca to the >>ground. There, he took her by her legs and dragged her down a flight >>of stairs, into a dimly lit basement.

Magus: So now I'm a child abuser? Methinks this author doesn't like me too much.

>>"Get these nasty cuffs off me you son of a bitch!"
>>"How does it feel, child, to have your dignity stolen from you?"

Lucca: (as her ficself) Wouldn't know, personally. You're dragging me down a dark flight of stairs where *no one can see me*.

>>"Fuck you!"
>>"Really, eh? What, you want more?"
>>Magus grabbed her clothes and tore them off. He removed every item of >>clothing from her body, leaving her completely nude.

Magus: O.o Oh crap...

>>"Is that better, sweetie? Can you feel it now?"

Lucca: (as her ficself) Yeah, man. God, this castle is so drafty!

>>Lucca scrambled to try and cover herself with her legs.
>>"Hmm? Poor baby... she doesn't like to be left with nothing. What a >>shame."
>>"Get to the point, asshole!"

Schala: One would assume she was talking to the fic or the author now.
Lucca: But since we can't insult the author, we'll have to settle for the fic.

>>"Do you know what you and your little friends did to me? Hmm?

Lucca: Umm...kicked your ass?

>>In this very castle, too. You saw I was losing to you. But no, you >>didn't kill me, you didn't end my everlasting pain. No, you just made >>me lose all my dignity, making me get swallowed up by my worst >>enemy."

Lucca: And how did we do that, precisely?
Schala: I don't know, but Lavos must've had a serious case of indegestion after that one.
Magus: Are you really my big sister!?

>>"That wasn't our fault! Lavos' gate got us too!"
>>"Oh, you could have helped it, you could have killed me right then >>and there, but you had to let me live.

Lucca: Well, we were so close but the gate got us before we could finish you off. Geez! You PMSing little whiner!
Magus: >.<

>>"You should be happy that we didn't kill you!"
>>"Yeah, so happy that you didn't kill me... you just let me get sent >>away to another time zone. And no, no it didn't hurt me any to have >>to go back to my old time period, to sneak around in my own home, to >>be feared and hated by my own sister, and even MYSELF!"

Magus: You...you hated me!?
Schala: Of course not! This is nonsense!
Lucca: Awwww! Sibling hug!
Magus and Schala: Hush, you!

>>"I didn't make that happen! Neither did Crono or Marle!"
>>"I don't care about them. They don't know what it's like to see >>themselves as children. A sweet, innocent little boy, unwittingly >>afraid of the very man he was about to become!

Lucca: But you couldn't get off your lazy blue ass to fix that, could you?
Magus: Since when is it blue!?

>>See, you know what its like to see yourself as that little kid, to >>witness the events that caused that little girl to become what you >>are today. What you don't know is what it's like to watch yourself >>and be totally unable to change it!"

Eon: Actually, yes she does, since I never managed to figure out what to do in that situation.
All: (coughing and wiping off debris from the fourth um...brick)
Magus: Thanks a lot, Eon.

>>"What are you talking about?"
>>"I had to see it with my own eyes, my innocence being stolen by my >>own mother

Schala: Mother raped you!? You never told me that!
Magus: I didn't know it happened!
Lucca: Oh boy >.<

>>and her living parasitic drug as my younger self fell down the pit >>
>>into eternity.

Schala: Lavos raped you too?! While you were falling do a pit?

>>And I couldn't change it! No matter how hard I tried! And yet, still, >>who am I? The same, unchanged, evil wretch who delights in torturous >>acts like the one taking place this very moment!"

Magus: Odd...I'm not enjoying this at all.

>>"You can change that!"
>>"Shut up!"

Schala: Please let him be talking to the fic...please let him be talking to the fic...

>>Magus slapped her across her face. Lucca's helpless body jerked to >>one side on impact with his fist, and was thrown to the ground. Tears >>started to come from her eyes.

Lucca: As opposed to coming out of her a-
Schala (going giant demon sized and irate!) I do not need the image thank you!
Lucca: (shrinking back in her chair) Ahhhh....yes'm, yes'm!

>>"I thought you would understand, just a little bit, seeing as how you >>were able to watch yourself in a frantic chase to save your mother's >>legs.

Magus: Well I hope they didn't outrun her. ^^
*WHAM!*
Schala and Lucca: Baka...

>>Sure, maybe you were able to change that by pushing a few buttons. >>But the feeling of watching that innocent little girl about to be >>scarred for life-and remembering when that little girl was you-should >>at least click in to that giant brain of yours."

Lucca: Should I take that as an insult or a compliment?
Magus: You're not that smart! After all, your inventions never work.
Lucca: Hey!

>>"Yeah... I remember"
>>"Did I say you could talk? Hmm? Shut your mouth!"
>>Magus lifted her by her hair and slapped her with the back of his >>hand. Her tears kept rolling down her cheeks.

Lucca: (jumping up and down) See! See! Schala, see!
Schala: >.< Are you really a genius!?

>>"And that's not even the end of it, either. No, after watching that >>site, I was so consumed with self pity that I decided to give up and >>join you."
>>"You didn't give up! Teamwork isn't giving up, it's making yourself >>stronger!"
>>"Yeah, so strong. And even loyal.

Lucca: (as her ficself) All dogs are loyal, Magus.
Magus: Grrr, shut up shut up SHUT UP!

>>And what did I get after that? Nothing. I wasn't even trusted by ?>>you."

Lucca: Yeah, we just brought you into battle against Lavos with us, trusting that you wouldn't turn.

>>"We trusted you! We're your friends!"
>>"Friends? Friends?? I don't know what its like to have friends. I was >>royalty back in Zeal. When you're a possible heir to a throne you >>don't have friends.

Schala: Possible?
Magus: Being as I'm the eldest son, I think I'm the only choice!

>>You have followers. You have greedy children looking for a way to get >>their hands on shiny toys and new pretty things. And even if you >>wanted to, you couldn't play with them, you didn't have time. No, you >>had responsibilities. You weren't old enough to use a knife at the >>dinner table, but you had to be present at royal meetings, family >>affairs, and events.

Lucca: Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch! Magus, don't you ever do anything other than whine?
Magus:...you're so meeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaan to me!!!

>>When you barely have time for yourself, how are you going to have >>time for friends? I was lucky enough to have a cat, a small, loyal >>creature, unaware that I was rich, or in high power. Just an animal, >>oblivious to my situation, yet the truest friend, always there for >>me. And I was torn away from that, the littlest thing that I had was >>taken from me."

Magus: (sniffling) Poor Alfador...
Alfador: Meow?
Magus: Alfy!? How did you get here?
Alfador: Meow moew.
Magus: You don't say!
Alfador: Meow.
Magus: You don't say!
Alfador: Meow Meow meow.
Magus: You don't say!
Schala: What is it, Janus?
Magus: He didn't say.
(Cue the facevaults!)

>>His eyes became foggy. To hide it, Magus walked over to a wall, where >>there was an assortment of objects made to inflict pain. He took a >>whip off of a hanging nail.

Lucca: I don't think this is how you preform D/s.
Magus:...what???
Lucca: Dominance and Submission. It's a form of S&M.
Magus: >.< And I thought the fanfic made us look bad.

>>Grabbing the handle, he cracked it at a rusty chain, shattering it."

Schala: Who said that?
Lucca: (shrugs) Don't know. The author, maybe?

>>"Look at this mess. Even in this empty hovel, this home of all homes, >>my own torture chamber is unusable. The only place an evil fuck like >>me could call rewarding, and it's in shambles.

Magus: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lucca: O.o How do you pronounce that???
Magus: "evil fuck"??? When I get my hands on Miss Delumina I'll-!
Schala: You'll do nothing. You're just text.
(And so there goes what's left of the forth...um, brick.)

>>What's to be proud of there? I'm lucky I was able to find that chain >>you have on you. It's the only one that wasn't rusted enough to break >>after being smashed against a wall."
>>Lucca, scrambling to sit up, tried to use her legs once again to >>cover herself. Magus walked over to her.
>>"Are you going to rape me or what?"

Magus: (As ficself, cowaring) Oh, Miss Lucca, please, please don't rape me! Please!
Lucca: (ficself, making whip cracking noises) Kiss my feet!
Magus: O.o JO'O-SAMA! JO'O-SAMA!!

>>"Rape? Are you serious? Me? I may be capable of slaughtering hundreds >>of people but I'm not a pervert.

Magus: >.< I was wrong. The fanfic *is* making me look bad. Really bad.

>>Are you expecting me to rape you? Do you want me to rape you? Hmm?"
>>Magus removed his leather armor, and lowered his pants, revealing his >>maleness.

Lucca: (pulling out a high powered magnifier) Where? I can't see it...
Magus: Grrr....

>>"You know what to do. Come on, if you want to be raped you might as >>well do what comes naturally."

Lucca: Scream and cry?
Schala: Lure him in, take it in your mouth and then bite down really hard?
Magus: O.o Owwwwwwww!!!

>>Lucca, up on her knees, stumbled over to Magus. He lifted his dick

Lucca: So now she starts with the penile names.
Schala: Penile?
Magus: Rayepatra! The queen of Pe Nile! Get it?
Lucca: >.< Unfortunately.

>>for her, where she opened her mouth and allowed it in. She just >>kneeled there, unable to move.

Lucca: Whoa whoa whoa wait! Hold on a sec here!
Schala: One might think that you want him to rape you, Lucca.
Lucca: No! Nonononononono!
Magus: >.< I'm gonna be sick...

>>"Is that better? What, not up to your expectations?"
>>He grabbed the back of her head and forced it forward. Grabbing her >>hair, he pulled her backwards, than forwards again, and back, with >>her mouth surrounding his prick, pleasuring it. After a few times, >>she started to do it on her own. Magus removed his hand, letting her >>suck his hardening cock without his help.


Lucca: So I guess I just jump right in, huh?
Magus: That does not paint a pretty picture.

>>He lifted his hand, still holding the whip, and slashed her back.
>>"You are a dirty little whore, you know that? I really wasn't >>expecting that remark before. I thought you had more self-respect. I >>thought you respected your body.

Lucca: (ficself) The author doesn't respect my body! I *do*!

>>I guess I don't respect my own, since I let your dirty little mouth >>on me. I don't respect myself, I mean look at me. Beating up a girl. >>A child even. A tied up child. I have no dignity.

Magus: (in tears) Why? Why god why? What did I do to deserve this?
Schala: >.< He really doesn't have any dignity, apparently.

>>Of course, what do I have anymore, hm? Sure, a dark, scary, run down >>castle, and then this stinking body.

Magus: (sniffing himself) I don't stink...
Lucca:...?
Magus: ^^ Secret! Strong enough for a man, made for a woman!
Lucca: >.< Hoooboy.

>>A body with the most recognizable face in the world, the face of the >>most evil man that ever existed.

Schala: Yes, the most evil man that ever existed...who is currently sobbing on my shoulder. --;;
Magus: This is just so wrong!

>>A face that scares children without even trying. A pale, ugly face, >>the face of evil itself, right?

Magus: I'M NOT UGLY! Stupid, stupid mean author! You...you ninny ninny dumb dumb poopy-head!
Lucca: Um...you said it, Magus. (aside to Schala) Is he allowed to say that to the author?
Schala: (shrugs) I think she was asking for it that time. By the way, props to those who get that joke.

>>The face which belongs to a body, with hands... yes these hands, which >>have choked

Schala:...many chickens in their time.
Magus: --;;

>>people to death. Hands that have held the sign of the reaper, a >>curved blade,

Magus: Also known as a scythe.
Schala: (Chichiri impression) Well no duh, na no da!

>>a bloody blade which has severed the heads of both the innocent and >>the guilty. I hate this body. I hate it so much, that if I was anyone >>else and I saw this body I would go running, afraid of it, avoiding >>it like the plague..."

Lucca: You really loathe yourself in this story, Magus...with a passion.

>>Tears started welling up in his eyes.
>>"...making sure I never had to see it again, even in my worst >>nightmares, making sure that I avoided those dirty hands, dirty with >>the blood of others..."

Magus: First I stink and now I don't wash my hands? Next she's gonna say I never clean out my ears!

>>A few rolled down his cheek.

Schala: A few what?

>>"...and that evil face, the face which owns that body, the face that >>has seen others die and smiled, a face with the scars of terrible >>memories...
>>He sniffled a bit, and wiped one eye with his hand.

Magus: I'm downright pathetic. I disgust me --;;
Lucca: Just be glad Glenn didn't come in here with us. He would have laughed himself silly.
Magus: >.< Like you're doing now?

>>"Memories that I would never wish upon no one, not even you, not >>Crono, not Marle, not even Frog,

Magus: I would too wish them on Frog!

>>and yet here I am destroying you with my anger..."
>>He whipped her. She moaned in agony.
>>"Tortures unimaginable... and I can't avoid them..."
>>He whipped her again. She gasped and tried to keep herself from >>crying again.
>>"I don't want to do this Lucca, honest..."

All: So stop!

>>He whipped her again. Tears were rolling endlessly down his cheeks.
>>"And I hate myself for it..."

All: And we hate this fic...

>>He whipped her again, harder. She was screaming.
>>"I hate myself..."

All: We hate this fic...

>>Harder. She jerked her body. The chain on her arms broke, but she >>couldn't move.
>>"I hate myself!"

All: We hate this fic!

>>Harder. She was crying.
>>"I hate myself!"

All: We hate this fic!

>>Again.
>>"I hate myself!"

All: We hate this fic!

>>Again.
>>"I hate myself!"

All: We hate this fic!

>>Again.

All: NO MORE! PLEASE NO MORE!

>>He threw the whip to the floor, fell to the ground, and buried his >>face in his arms, crying. Lucca, slowly, put her hands to either side >>and pushed herself up. The whip marks on her back were burning her, >>and tears of pain rolled down her cheeks. She looked over at Magus >>and was unable to swallow to site she saw. It was Magus, naked, >>vulnerable, crying.

Magus: Hey! Someone cover me up!
Lucca: My eyes! My perfectly brilliant eyes are burning!
Magus: >.< Shut up.

>>Overcome with pity, she crawled over to him. She clasped her arms >>over his back and held him, holding his head on her shoulder like she >>was a mother to him. She felt his arms move to hold her... she felt his >>warm tears drip down her back as he cried his sorrowful heart out. >>She started to cry again, but not out of pain, out of sadness, >>knowing that she had dismissed this angry soul as a viscous beast >>without knowing what was making him so angry.

Schala: (sniffsniff) This...this is just so touching!
Lucca: Really?
Schala (flatly) No.

>>She thought about it for a while, when she realized he wasn't crying >>anymore. He was asleep in her arms.
>>"...like a baby..."

Schala: (singing) Cryyyyyyyyyyyyyy baby!

>>Lucca didn't know what to do. He was so peaceful there, so quiet. His >>body was warm against hers, a pleasurable feeling in the cold damp >>basement.

Magus: (in tears) This...can't...be...happening!
Lucca: (ditto) Get me outta here!

>>He's so calm... back when we rested at the inns, he would never sleep >>this way...

Eon: He was adorable when slept!
Magus: (bambi eyes) Oh, thank you Eon!
Lucca: --;;

>>He was always jerking in his sleep, like he was having nightmares. It >>kept the rest of us awake. But now he's really sleeping, much calmer >>than before. Its almost like he hasn't slept in days.
>>She kept thinking about him, how she was just treated minutes earlier >>and how different he's become in a matter of minutes.
>>I wonder what he's dreaming now. About his sister, about here, this, >>me.

Schala: All that can't fit in his brain!
Magus: (sniffling) Schala!
Schala: Sorry! The fic is making me bitter Jansey!
Lucca: (gigglig) Jansey?
Magus: Hush, you!

>>Why did he attack me anyway... I suppose his anger drove him to it. I >>never knew he felt this way before...
>>She sat there silently, looking at Magus's thin blue hair as it >>spread across his back.

Magus:......
Schala: Uh oh...
Magus:......
Lucca: He's gonna blow!
(Schala and Lucca duck)
Magus: Thin!? Thin??? First she calls me ugly, then stinky, then dirty and evil...and now she's saying I'm going bald!?!?! Raye deLumina, prepare for the void! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Schala: o.O

>>She played with it, watching how it fell, how clean it was, nice and >>combed. She rested her hands then, on his back, feeling his muscles, >>his soft skin. She drifted off into sleep.
>>* * *
>>Lucca woke on a large bed, set with linens and big, warm blankets. >>She rolled over, towards a window, where she saw a bright light.
>>Morning.

All: Morning!

>>She sat up and looked out the window, pushing her tousled purple hair >>out of the way of her eyes. She stood and walked over to it, and >>looked out, to see that she was on a high floor, high above what she >>even knew existed inside the castle.

Magus: DeLumina's gonna die! DeLumina's gonna die! BWAHAHAHAHA!!
Lucca: He's starting to get scary...

>>She could see everything, the trees, the gates to the castle, the >>Magic Cave entrance, everything. She could see the seagulls flying >>above the water, the waves crashing against the shore. She could even >>see as far as Fiona's, where Robo was still weeding the ground and >>planting seeds. She giggled at the sight.
>>These contact lenses are really strong.

Schala: This fic hit rock bottom awful fast...

>>She sensed something behind her. Turning, she saw Magus in just >>leather pants and shirt, and boots, holding a small bottle.
>>"How is your back?" he asked quietly.
>>"Fine." she replied, in a soft, almost whispering voice.
>>"I'm surprised you're not covering yourself with a sheet... you're >>still naked you know."
>>"You've already seen me without my clothes on. What's the use of >>covering up now?"

Magus: So you don't look like a slut? Oops, too late!
Lucca: SHUT UP!

>>"I suppose... you'd have to remove it anyway if you want those scars >>off your back."
>>"Scars?" she said, not remembering the whipping she got the night >>before.

Schala: How on earth do you forget something like that!?

>>"Lay on your back."

All:......
Schala: Honestly, you two, there could be children watching this.
Magus and Lucca: Hush, you!!!

>>She did it without contest, suddenly remembering what happened, and >>she felt her back burn again. She crawled onto the bed, and laid >>there with her head turned to face Magus. She watched him as he >>opened the bottle, and poured a gel-like clear fluid into his hand.

Schala: KY Jelly?
Magus: Ooh, that reminds me of a joke.
Lucca: (groan) Okay, what is it?
Magus: Well, this guy got married and his three friends, an electrian, a carpenter and a dentist all decided to pull a prank on him. They each did something to affect his wedding night, then gathered at a bar afterwards. The Electrician announced that he'd set up the bed to zap them, yanno, cause they had one of those magic beds that use remote control--
Lucca: (sigh)
Magus:--the carpenter said he sawed the legs off the bed. But the dentist refused to say what he did.
Schala: So what happened?
Magus: They got a note from their friend: 'The jolts we could deal with, the missing bed legs were only a minor setback...but the asshole who put the novacaine in the KY Jelly is gonna get it!'
Lucca: (giggling) Ohh, that's evil!

>>He put the bottle down and rubbed his hands together, then began to >>massage her back.
>>"That is so relaxing."
>>"Lucca, why did you hold me last night?"
>>"Hmm?"
>>"After I had just beaten you, you came to me like you were trying to >>make me feel better."
>>"I don't know... I guess it was just instinct."

Schala: You know, the conversation in this story is a real snooze...

>>He was silent for a while, massaging away the scars, sometimes using >>the bottle for more gel. She relaxed quietly and closed her eyes, >>feeling his hands rub all over the places where the whip hit her... his >>hands moved slowly down her back, like a masseuse.

Lucca: So the most evil man in the world is also a fine masseuse, eh? Something about that just doesn't fit...
Magus: It's not quite that big...almost but...
*WHAM!*
Lucca: --;; Baka...

>>The gel felt cold but was warmed as his hands pushed up and down her >>skin. It had a vapor which loomed in the air, the smell of tropical >>fruit.

Schala: But the only remotely tropical place in the world is El Nido...

>>Lucca was thoroughly enjoying it, the feel of his hands all over her >>made her feel much more comfortable in his presence.
>>"Go lower."
>>His hands moved lower, massaging the small of her back and the sides >>of her waist.
>>"Lower."

Lucca: Stop right there, perv!

>>He moved his hands over her buttocks, carefully squeezing each cheek >>softly. The scars were worse there, the flesh was sensitive, and the >>pain was more severe.
>>"Do you like this Magus?"
>>"What?" Magus stammered,

All: She said "Do you like this Magus?"
Magus: (ficself) I don't like this Magus. I prefer that Magus.

>>as if her voice broke his concentration.
>>"Do you like this?"
>>"Why do you ask?"
>>"Its not every day a girl like me lets a guy put his hands all over >>her."

Schala: So wait...it's not everyday a slut let's some guy put his hands all over her?
Lucca: Hey!

>>Magus smiled meekly, than moved down to her legs.
>>"Sit up and give me your leg."

Lucca: This massage is costing me an arm and a leg.

>>"It's on my leg?"
>>"Yes."
>>"I didn't feel anything."
>>"The whip got you there."

Magus: Oh, there it is again! Prepare to die, deLumina! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!

>>Lucca sat up and extended her leg, letting him rub the fluid on her. >>He worked his way up her leg to her thighs, his hand barely brushing >>her crotch, before he switched legs.

Schala: Oh brother...
Lucca: This fic stopped disgusting me...now it just annoys me.

>>"You're finished. The scars should wear off once the medicine sets >>in."

Lucca: That's quite some medicine...got anything for Cancer, doc?

>>Lucca looked into his eyes and noticed a slight glimmer. His lips >>smiled slightly.

Magus:...But the smile never reached his eyes. By the time Lucca realized that he was holding a sharp knife behind his back, it was already too late...
Lucca:......(scoots away from Magus)

>>Lucca had never seen him smile before. She liked the way it looked, >>it was different, it wasn't as dark. Suddenly, Lucca remembered >>something.
>>"Lunch!!!"

All: What?

>>"What?"

All: We said that already!

>>"I was supposed to meet Crono and Marle for lunch yesterday!"
>>"Well, what are you going to do?"
>>"I'll have to go back... the Epoch isn't set for singular days, so >>I'll probably get in trouble for not coming home."

Lucca: God I'm dumb in this fic...
Schala: (sarcasm!) How do you figure?
Lucca: No, I mean, look at what she just said. If the Epoch went into the past, then it was before my lunch date with Marle and Crono even happened. So I would have made it in plenty of time...

>>Lucca jumped out of the bed and began looking around.
>>"You need clothes."
>>"You ripped my clothes..."
>>"Take some of the sheets. You'll look like a monk until you go >>home."

Lucca: No I won't! I'll look like a girl who almost got raped by an old blue-haired freak!

>>Lucca smiled, and took a pillowcase from a large pillow. She ripped >>three holes in it and pulled it over her head. She grabbed another >>sheet and tied it around her waist. Magus took her by her hand and >>led her down a nearby staircase into the main hallway.
>>"Its time to take off."

Schala: (ficLucca) But I just got this stupid sheet on!

>>"You can come back if those scars decide to stick around for too >>long."
>>"I'll think about it."

Lucca: Oh no I won't!

>>Magus opened the door, letting Lucca out, back into the world. She >>turned as she walked, looking at Magus peering through the doorway.
>>"Lucca, you forgot your glasses."
>>"What?"

All: He said "Lucca, you forgot your glasses."!

>>Lucca walked back to him, looking for a hand which held her glasses.
>>"Wait a sec... I didn't bring my glasses!"

All: D'oh!
Schala: Baka...

>>"You are gullible, Lucca."
>>She stood on her toes and kissed him on the cheek.
>>"And you are the best masseuse I know."
>>Smiling, she turned and walked away.
>>* * *

Magus: I will hurt the critic who gave her those...
Schala: You're rather on the silent side all of a sudden, Janus.

>>"You bitch! Where the hell have you been?"
>>"Me and Magus were doing some hard work... ehh... it took the entire >>night and we're not even done yet."
>>"What? What kind of work? Where are you clothes?"
>>"Marle, quit bugging me! It was raining over there. I fell in the mud >>and Magus didn't have any extra clothes. Can I go change yet?"
>>"No! You really better thank me, I told your mother you were sleeping >>over at the castle."

Schala: (making treading motions) All the qoutations...I...can't keep...my head above...them...*gasp!*
Lucca: Grab onto this life comma, Schala! (makes tossing motion)
Schala: (making grabbing motions) Got it! I'm saved!

>>"Thank you Marle... I'm really sorry I didn't come back but we were >>really busy."
>>"Yeah, busy discussing those human relations theories over some >>hormones."
>>"Marle... Marle, do me a favor, ok?"
>>"What is it this time?"

All: Shut up!

>>"Remind me to burn those human nature books, because they're >>worthless."

All:......
Schala: Now she tells me! (Tossing away a book... "Your thirty year old uber magician brother and you")

>>Lucca turned and walked away. Marle was confused. She looked at >>Crono. He shrugged.

Lucca: He laughed. He cried. He--
Schala: Read this fic, apparently.

>>* * *

Magus: All right! (jumping up) I'm finally ready! I'm ready for you, deLumina! Mwehehehe!

>>Back in her room, Lucca was removing the sheets she wore. She >>examined the scars all over her back and butt, but didn't find any on >>her legs.

Schala: Janus, sit down!

>>"He just wanted to touch my legs."
>>She smiled.
>>"I think he likes me."

Magus: (sinking back into his seat) I think I lost my will to fight...

<0><7><6><5><4><3><2><1><0>

Magus flopped back on Marle bed with a heavy groan. "Oh, man! I cannot believe I just witnessed that!"
"It could have been worse," Schala pointed out as she leaned against the wall, folding her arms over her chest. "It coulda been like...you and Marle or something."
Magus shuddered.
"Or it could have been you and Crono..." Lucca added.
"No it could not!" A voice yelped. Crono bounced through the window, followed by Glenn and Marle. "I do not swing that way!"
"Ughhhh..." Schala groaned. She reached out and pull down the curtain. "Night folks!" Everyone chorused.

<0><7><6><5><4><3><2><1><0>

Made it! *pantpant* I got through part through and I'm still alive. Can't speak for my sanity, though. Then again, that was lacking in the first place. So, what did you think of this one, huh? Compliments are welcome. So are tips and pointers but...I don't take well to flames. They're immature, rude and unecessary, unless it's the most dire of situations (like cat loving herms). So be mature about it, folks!

~Eon

Marle gasped softly against Crono's lips as his hand slid under her shirt, fingertips grazing a ticklish spot on her belly. He murmured softly to her as his kisses moved along her cheek bone, to her ear lobe, then down her neck to the hollow behind her collar bone. Crono slipped his fingers beneath the strap of her top and slid it down, then pressed a warm kiss to her shoulder.
"Hey, you two, take a cold shower!" A voice shouted from outside the window.
"Gack!" Marle exclaimed, sitting up so fast that Crono fell back and tumbled off the bed. She pulled her top back into place. "Lucca, what are you doing here?"
"You asked us to come," Lucca reminded her as she slid in through the window. Magus and Schala slid in behind her. "So, what's up? Besides Crono, I mean."
Crono flushed. "Hush, you!"
"Oh, now I remember!" Marle chirped. "We've got another part of the fanfiction to riff."
"Another one?" Magus groaned, falling into an armchair. "Now?"
"Better now than later," Crono grumped, climbing back onto the bed.
Lucca settled down on a couch with Schala next to her. "Roll film!"
"We've got fanfic siiiiiiiiiiiign!" They all chorused.

<0><1><2><3><4><5><6><7><0>

Crono: (singing) Third verse, same as the first, a little bit louder and a little bit worse!

>>Chrono Trigger Eros, Part 3: “A Violet Daydream”

Marle: And here I thought you day dreamed in black and white.

>>By Raye deLumina

Lucca: If that was a Japanese pronunciation, it would be pronounced Rah-yay Day-loo-mee-nah
Marle: >.< Thank you for that interesting tid bit, Miss Know-it-all.

>>Lucca sat at the fountain in the center of Truce, thinking quietly.

Schala: As opposed to thinking loudly?
Lucca: D'oi!

>>It was early morning. The sun was barely rising. Seagulls were >>chirping quietly, welcoming the new day.

Magus: Since when do seagulls chirp *quietly*?
Crono: Since romance and hentai became the same thing, apparently.

>>Slowly, people started to rise, to make good on the day’s light. She >>watched as men and women rose from their houses, tended their crops, >>their usual early morning chores. She watched as young couples held >>hands and walked together, smiling, kissing, dreaming.

Schala: How can they be dreaming if they're awake and walking, smiling and kissing?

>>She lay quiet, watching old couples act fresh and new, as if twenty >>years of marriage had not worn them out, but gave them new life.
>>She was envious.

Marle: She was so envious, in fact, that she decided to kill them all, except her adorable friend Marle and her cute boyfriend, Crono. She pulled out a knife and starting stabbing people. She--
Others: Enough already!

>>She wanted what they had. They had love, they had life, they had >>exuberance. She had only memories of a kiss on the cheek.
>>“Lucca’s got a crush!!!”

Lucca: Crushing headache, that is.

>>Lucca stirred, waking suddenly from her quiet train of thought. She >>looked around.
>>“Hey, what’s the matter? You look absolutely dazed. Am I right? Do >>you have a crush?”

Marle: Is that me who's speaking?

>>It was Elaine.

Marle: Oh.
Crono: Elaine? You mean that one shot, worthless, plotpointless character?
Magus: Apparently.

>>She hadn't seen Elaine since they rescued Fritz from the castle.
>>“Oh, hi Elaine…”
>>“Damn Lucca, you’ve got it bad.”

All except for Lucca: (sniffing the air)
Lucca: What???
Magus: She's right, you got it bad. Bad gas, that is!
Lucca: Grrr!

>>“Got what?”

Marle: Got milk?
Crono: Got rainbow?
Magus: Got blue hair dye?
Lucca: Got a set of contact lenses?
Schala: Got time?
Magus: Cute, 'Ala.

>>“The sickness… you know, love.”
>>“What makes you think that?”
>>“Lets see… the glossed eyes, the dazed look, the fact that your shoes >>don’t match and that you’ve been sitting out here since before >>sunrise…”

Crono: That says it all, doesn't it.
Lucca: That means I have a crush? For all she knows someone in my family could have died!

>>“Shoes?”
>>Lucca looked down at her boots.
>>“But they match perfectly.”

Schala: Owwwww...(clutches her head)
Magus: Thinking about the fic again, 'Ala?

>>“Maybe it’s the fact that your mind is in outer space!”
>>“Oh Elaine… you have no idea…”
>>“Lucca, you should relax… take it slowly. If he’s so special to you, >>then maybe you should tell him.”
>>“I don’t know…”

Lucca: (As ficself) I mean, he did sort of make me suck him off, then beat me with a whip and all...
Crono: Your IQ seriously decreased in this fanfic, Lucca.

>>“Lucca, if you don’t tell him then you lose your chance. Someone else >>might just go and take your spot.”
>>“Oh, I highly doubt that.”
>>“What… is… is it a girl? Lucca, are you a lesbian?”

Lucca: HELL NO!
Magus: So that's what you and Ayla were--*WHAM!*
Lucca: (withdrawing her Gun) Magus-kun no baka!

>>“No, no no it’s not that. It’s that he’s… not the most desirable >>under normal standards…”

Magus: >.<
Schala: Under abnormal standards he's down right hideous!

>>“Then change the standards! If you want him that bad make him know >>it! And use protection. That’s all men look for you know, that’s the >>way to woo them.”

Crono: I mean, hell, screw intelligence, personality, imagination...
Magus: Don't forget big breasts, nice legs and a tight ass! ^^ *Whamo!*
(Schala, Lucca and Marle withdraw their choosen weapons)
Crono --;...protection is a must for all men! (aside) Magus, you baka!

>>“I used to think of it the same way…”
>>“Well, if it doesn’t work than I really don’t know what you should >>do. All I know is that you should take it slowly with him. He was >>your friend for a long time, and he won’t be expecting it.”

Magus: I was?
Others: He was?

>>“What?”
>>“That’s all that you need to know. Good luck with Crono!”

Marle: Aieeeeee!!
Crono: WHAT!?
Lucca: Nonononononoooooooo!

>>“EEEEE…”
>>Lucca watched as Elaine walked away.

Schala: What was all the "eeee"s for?

>>She has no idea what she’s talking about.
>>“Hey Lucca!”
>>Lucca recognized the voice quicker this time.

Lucca: Go fuck yourself, Elaine.
Others: O.o

>>“Hi Marle!”
>>“Hey, how’s it goin, four eyes?”

Lucca: Are you really my best friend!?
Marle: I think so...

“Fine…”
>>“Me and Crono decided it was time to go back and visit the gang. >>Wanna come along?”

Schala: Crono and I.

>>Lucca suddenly sat up straight.
>>“Really?” she said, with a glimmer in her eyes.

Crono: (ficLucca) Ow! Get it out, get it out! There's glimmer in my eyes! Ow!
Schala: It's like those little anime hearts.

>>“Yes, really. We’re going to check out Frog and my ancestors, and >>then we’ll head back to see Ayla, and maybe go forward to visit >>Robo.”

Marle: Um...so why don't we just check on Robo when we're visiting Frog. That's around the vicinty of where he lives...
Crono: Cause that would make sense.

>>“What about Magus?”
>>“What about him?”
>>“Why not go see him?”
>>“Well, maybe because we don’t want to? Why do you want to go see him >>so bad?”

Lucca: Don't know...maybe because he helped us defeat Lavos!?

>>“Its not that, it’s just that leaving him out would be unfair.”
>>“So… your point being…”
>>“Well, he has feelings too you know…”
>>“Uhh, Lucca, are we referring to the same blue haired bastard that I >>think we are?”

Magus: That's depends...is this the same blonde-haired bitch who's talking??
Marle: That's her, not me!

>>“He’s not a bastard…”
>>“Lucca, what’s the matter with you? Have you suddenly decided that he >>didn’t cause trouble for fun?”

Magus:...what the bloody hell!? I did NOT cause trouble *for fun*! I was trying to kill the beast that destroyed my home and took my family from me!!
Schala: Calm, Jansey, think calm...
Magus: To hell with calm! I hate this author!

>>“Well you know, he hasn’t led the greatest life ever, and if for one >>moment you tried to understand him, to maybe take a look and see what >>his trouble is, you would know what I’m talking about.”
>>“You lost me long ago.”

Crono: Trying to understand the fic again, ey Marle?
Marle: (sighs)

>>“Nevermind…”
>>Marle grabbed Lucca’s hand, and they met Crono behind Lucca’s house >>to take off.

Crono: ...their clothes. Whoo, lesbian time! *WHAM!*
(Marle and Lucca withdraw their weapons of choice)
Crono: owie...

>>* * *
>>After a few seconds of traveling through hyperspace and around the >>globe,

Schala:...our young adventures found themselves in a galaxy far, far away.

>>They landed in a large field, with a house at the northern corner.
>>“We’re here! Its Fiona’s place!”
>>Lucca peered into the distance, and noticed a tall black object in >>the clouds. It was his castle!

Magus: My black lump of coal! Isn't it grand!

>>She had never noticed it was that high before. She smiled at the >>thought of her standing in that tower, peering through the window.
>>“Hey Lucca! Are you coming or what?”

Lucca: (ficself) What, without any stimulation?
Others:......

>>“Yeah, be right with you!”
>>Lucca took one last glimpse, and ran toward Robo, who was being >>loaded with seed by Fiona.

All:......
Magus: Fiona's a hermaphadite!?
Schala: O...O...Oscar!?
All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

>>“Hey Robo! Fiona! What’s up?”

Crono: (turning green) Must you ask? Ulk!

>>“Marle? Robo, look, its your old gang!”
>>“Lucca!”
>>Robo hissed a few times, than ran over to Lucca.
>>“Lucca, I wasn’t expecting to see you guys for another 400 years…”

Schala: Maybe I have the time to wait around that long but they don't!

>>“That’s ok, we fixed you up already. We’re just passing by, we’ll see >>you in the future again anyway. How’s progress?”
>>“Things are going well, we’ve had a few sprouts so far, but it takes >>time. It shouldn’t take too long with Robo here, seeding and watering >>every day.”

All:......
Magus: Let's just...leave that one alone...

>>“That’s good to hear. How’s mister metal hanging?”

Robo: (popping in) Four feet! ^^
*WHAMO!*
(All withdraw their weapons of choice)
Lucca: Great, now I gotta repair him again...

>>“I’m fine Marle, just a little dirty. Maybe Lucca can fix me up >>later?”
>>“Yeah Lucca…”
>>Lucca was staring off into space.

Lucca: (ficself) I knew we shouldn't have jumped into hyperdrive...

>>“Lucca!”
>>“Huh?”
>>“Miss Lucca, are you ok?”
>>“Yeah… uhh.”
>>“She didn’t get much sleep last night.”
>>“Yeah…”

Magus: Who the hell is talking?
Crono: (shrugs) Beats me.

>>Lucca looked back toward the castle. Suddenly, she saw streams of >>orange shoot into the sky. Was it fire? Lucca started to get worried. >>Was someone attacking Magus? Suddenly, she saw streams of red shoot >>higher.

Magus: My vaguely castle-shaped lump of coal is exploding! Oh no!

>>He’s in trouble. What’s happening?
>>“Lucca!”
>>“What?”
>>“Lucca, is there a problem? I think my husband has some coffee made, >>would you like some?”
>>“No thanks, Fiona… uhh, we have to get going now, right guys?”
>>“Uhh, Lucca, we just got here.”

All: Go! Go! End it quick!

>>“Yes, but, uhh, we have lots of stuff to do, uhh, we’ll come back >>soon, ok?”
>>Lucca ran off toward the Epoch. Crono looked at Marle and shrugged. >>They followed. Lucca drove the Epoch toward the castle, watching as >>more streams of orange and red shot into the sky. Suddenly, a big red >>splotch landed on the windshield. Marle screamed.

Marle: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!! I'm still in this fanfic!

>>“Oh goodness, what is that???”
>>“It’s… It’s…”

Schala: Robo sperm!!
Others: O.o
Crono: Don't think we won't hit you just because you're Magus' sister. One more comment like that and...*WHAMO!*
Schala: (withdraws weapon of choice) ^^ You were saying?

>>“….paint….” Crono whispered from behind.
>>“Paint?”
>>“Lucca, its red paint. Land, so we can wash it off!”
>>“In case you haven’t noticed, we’re over the ocean!”
>>“Then hurry up and get to the castle. Old blue balls better have a >>hose.”

Magus: So those are blue two!? I must masturbate in the snow or something!
Crono: Mind image...didn't need...ulk!
Marle: Airsick bag, Crony?

>>“Don’t call him that.”
>>“Fine…”
>>After rough flying and some minor damage to the Epoch’s wings, they >>landed on the island, right in the middle of Magus’ lawn.

Magus: --; So my castle is a lump of coal but I have a lawn?
Marle: Ooo, what pretty flowers!

>>Lucca raised the windshield. She hopped out and ran towards the door.
>>“Lucca! What’s your rush?”
>>“Uhh, we need that hose before the paint dries!”

Lucca: God, talk about transparent! Sheesh!

>>She knocked loudly on the door, as Crono and Marle approached. The >>door opened, revealing a multicolored Magus.

Crono: Rainbow Magus! New, from Hershey.
Magus: Bah.

>>“What happened Magus, decide that blue wasn’t the color for you?”
>>Marle giggled at the sight. He was dressed in simple leather pants >>and boots, but it seemed he was wearing a bodysuit. Half of his chest >>and side was green. The rest was splotched red and orange. His face >>was no exception. Except for his eyes, his head, neck, and hair was >>totally white.

Lucca: I've heard of graying hair but that's just rediculous.

>>“Well well well… what were we doing? Painting?”
>>“Lucca suggested it.”
>>“Hmmm… well, I suppose Lucca had some good ideas, but you need help.”
>>“You have ideas, Marle?”
>>“I just happen to have some good ones. I did single-handedly decorate >>the interior of Guardia Castle, doncha know.

Marle: And all before I turned sixteen! It was quite some work...started back when I was four. 'Course, once I finished one section, the ones I done before were obsolete and out of fashion.

>>But you’d better go get cleaned up first, ok?”
>>Marle walked inside the castle. Crono followed. Magus extended his >>hand for him to shake, but Crono, glaring at the green painted hand, >>gave him a simple thumbs up and a smile.

Crono: I glared and smiled at the same time? How!?

>>Magus then looked into the eyes of a shyly smiling Lucca, and ushered >>her in. She put her finger over her lips, and gave him a look, >>telling him to keep quiet about the events of their last meeting.
>>“Hi, uhh, how are those scientific studies going?”
>>“Uhh…”

Magus: (ficself) Shit, I forgot my line!

>>Magus looked over at Marle and Crono, staring at him in suspicion.
>>“Yes, they’re very complicated, I might need some more help from >>you.”
>>“Yes, I see.”

Schala: Fuf-u-cuc-kuk o-fuf-fuf!!
Others: The hell!?
Schala: It's Cat's Elbow. I was telling the fic to fuck off!

>>From outside, a sudden thunder roared over the sky, and through a >>small window on the wall, they could see rain starting to fall.
>>“Marle! Crono! I left the cockpit open! Run! Go shut it!”

Marle: (ficself) Just shut your legs, slut!
Others: O.o
Marle: (giggles) Sorry! Guess the fic is getting to me!

>>“Lucca! For goodness sake..”
>>Crono and Marle ran out the door, towards the front yard, leaving >>Lucca and Magus alone.
>>“Did you tell them… about last time?”
>>“No. Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”
>>“How are the scars?”
>>“They’re almost gone, but I’m sure I could use another treatment with >>that medicine.”

Lucca: You know, I agree with Marle on this one. My ficself *is* a slut!
Marle: (singing) Du...Du hast...Du hast miech!
Magus: What does that have to do with anything?!
Marle: (shrugs)

>>“We’ll see. From the looks of the rain, you guys might just have to >>stay here for a while.”
>>“Yeah… I remember reading something about a great rain around this >>time, said to last a few days… We’ll have to stay the night.”
>>“I only have two bedrooms, though.”

Magus: Lovely! My vaguely castle shaped lump of coal has a lawn and flowers, but only two bedrooms! I must be the most pathetic wretch in the universe!
Lucca: Funny how she's got him repeating what he said in the first part...
Magus: (breaking down in tears) Kill me! Kill me now!

>>Crono and Marle walked in, soaked, and angry.
>>“Good going Lucca, the interior is drenched and the controls are >>messed.”
>>“Well sorry… I was anxious to come inside.”

Schala: But don't you need a penis for that?
Magus: Schala!

>>“What for?”
>>“Nothing…”

All: D'oh!
Lucca: So wait, we're not allowed to insult the author but she can insult us!?
Crono: --; apparently so...

>>“Well, everyone, I guess you can all stay in here. I have to take a >>shower, I’ll be back in a little while.”
>>Magus left, leaving the teens in the big, empty room.
>>“Well then… I guess we’re stuck here.”
>>“Yeah, and we might be here for a while. If I read my history >>correctly, the rain should last for a few days…”
>>“What? What are we going to do? Stay here?”

Lucca: I mean, the weather has jackall to do with time travel but hey, such is plot contrivance!

>>“Yeah… we’ll have to, Epoch can’t fly in this weather, and there >>isn’t an inn around for miles.”
>>“I hope his beds are clean.”
>>“That shouldn’t be a problem, he only has two of them.”

Magus: Even though I have a whole friggin' castle!

>>“What? Well, I guess that isn’t so bad, right Crono?”
>>Crono smiled, and his cheeks turned cherry.

Crono: Yanno...I talk more than that...

>>“I guess you’ll have to share a bed with the old guy, Lucca. Look at >>the turn of events… you rush to get here, and now you have to spend >>the night…”

Magus: I'm not old, damnit!!

>>“That’s ok. I don’t mind.”
>>Marle looked at her in disbelief. Lucca walked away.

Marle: (singing) There's nothing without love...and nothing else can get you through the night, nothing else'd feel right...without love!
Eon: Sorry you guys, it's what's on.

>>“Well Crono… lets go find our room, shall we?”

Lucca: And the author seems to make me out to be the slut! I'm nothing compared to her!
Marle: Hey!

>>Crono nodded, and they walked behind Lucca, who made her way into a >>kitchen.

Magus: Oh, my lump of coal has only two bedrooms but hey, there's a kitchen!!
Schala: This is disturbing you big time, isn't it Janus?
Magus: (sarcastically) No! You think? *WHAMO!*
Schala: (withdrawing her weapon of choice) Don't take that tone with me, young man!

>>“Lucca, where are the rooms?”
>>“I think they’re upstairs. Going to get settled?”
>>“Yeah…”
>>“Have fun! I’ll be making lunch, but I’m sure you guys won’t be >>hungry since—“
>>“Shut up, lady blue.”

Lucca: Purple! My hair is purple! Damnit!
Marle: This is strangely depressing...
Magus: "Lady blue"? Was that supposed to be...funny?

>>Marle walked up the stairs. There were several winding flights. After >>some time, they came upon a doorway, next to yet another flight of >>stairs.

Magus: All these stairs...and only two friggin' rooms!
Crono: Magus, chill.

>>“I hope this is it.” Said Marle, anxious to find out where she was.
>>She walked in the room. It was dark. There was a bed right in front, >>unmade. Along the far wall was a window, covered with purple cloth >>which worked as curtains.

Magus: Oh, great! And I guess I hired an Imp to be my interior decorator!
Schala: (wincing) Either that or a one eyed one horned flying purple people eater.
All: (singing) Sure looks strange to me!

>>Upon looking around, Marle came across a desk with a lamp, a drawer, >>and an easel with a painting on it. The shades were blocking the >>light, and Marle wanted to see what the painting looked like.

Crono: Didn't know you were such a nosy snoop, Marle.
Marle: Give me some time and I'll snoop around your (whispers in his ear)
Crono: ^^ Sounds like fun!

>>She signaled to Crono to go and open the shades. As he pulled open >>the dark purple sheets, streams of light burst into the room, >>revealing a site which shocked her.

Magus: www.yahoo.com?
Lucca: www.kissmehentai.com?
Crono: --; www.hotbot.com?
Marle: www.fanfiction.net?
Schala: www.poopsex.com?
Others: Bleh!
Schala: Well, it's supposed to be shocking!

>>“Oh my God…”
>>It was a painting of Lucca. She was nude, on a white bed, surrounded >>by flowers.

Magus: So now I'm ripping off Naoko Takeuchi's flower sctick, too, I see. --;

>>She was asleep, relaxed, her arms curled around a small doll. Upon >>closer inspection, Marle saw that it was Magus, in a black cloth, >>with a tear in his eye.

Crono: Oh cute, a Magus plushie. We should get a few of those for Glenn to behead.
Marle: Oh, he'd like that!

>>“Crono… Umm…”
>>Crono walked over to the painting, and was equally flabbergasted. He >>stared at it for a moment, and burst into laughter.
>>“Crono, what’s so… he he… funny?”

Crono: (ficself) I just realized! I'm one of the main characters in a fic from hell!

>>Crono was laughing so hard that he fell to the ground. Marle was >>still confused.
>>“He’s a sick puppy…”
>>Marle put her hands on her forehead, and grabbed Crono’s wrist, >>pulling him up.

Marle: --; so I have an extra set of hands now?
Magus: That must come in handy! ^^
Others: (groan!)

>>She pulled him out of the room and up the stairs.
>>* * *
>>Lucca explored Magus’ fridge. There was little inside, just cold >>water, some fruit, nothing much.

Schala: (as ficLucca, studying the contents of the fridge) Eye of newt...tongue of bat...monkey brain...huh! Human testicles?
Others: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!

>>Ok… now how am I supposed to make dinner? I suppose there’s some ice >>around… I can make fruit smoothies…

Marle: Sorry, I'm on a low-carb diet but thanks anyway.
Lucca: Then you can have the testicles!
Crono: Why do I have this sudden urge to grab my crotch and run screaming???

>>She sat down at a nearby table, dreaming of what she could do. She >>thought about cutting the fruit, crushing the ice… standing over a >>counter… feeling his arms wrap around her waist… him asking what she >>was doing… kissing her ear, her neck… him holding her… his hair >>falling on her shoulders… him whispering…

Schala: This scene brought to you by Captin Kirk.

>>“…Lucca…”

Lucca: Yes?

>>“…Lucca…”

Lucca: What is it?

>>Her turning around, looking into his eyes…
>>“Lucca!”

Lucca: (getting annoyed) What do you want!?

>>“Huh?”
>>“Hmm.”
>>“Oh… hi Magus… I see the paint came off… uhh, what are we going to do >>about dinner?”
>>“I really don’t know. I haven’t been eating much lately.”
>>“Well, there’s some fruit in the fridge.”
>>“That fruit is for your medicine..."

Magus: So that's what the testicles are for!
Crono: (crossing his legs) Anyone wanna switch seats?
Others: Not really...
Crono: Prehaps you didn't hear me...get me away from the blue-haired maniac!!!!!!

>>Lucca smiled sheepishly, as her stomach twittered nervously, and the >>thought of dinner had been forgotten.

Schala: He's old, balding and one evil son of a bitch, but he makes her knees go weak!
Magus: Are you really my sister!?

>>* * *
>>“Wow, Crono… this is some room…”
>>“………”

Marle: If only he was that quiet in real life!

>>They were referring to the second bedroom, the one high in the >>castle, where Lucca had slept earlier. It was different though… the >>walls were painted violet, the same color as the bed sheets, the >>window shades, the floor…

Magus: All this purple is making me sick...
Crono: I know what you mean...

>>“This is a whole lot of purple… just like Lucca’s hair… it’s the >>exact color…”

Schala: You sure were busy, Janus.
Lucca: All for her, too! Bleh!

>>She touched a bed sheet and felt its smoothness. It was silk.
>>“Ok, Crono, something about this isn’t right… what is Magus’ >>obsession with Lucca?”

Crono: He is a homocidal maniac. I could see why he'd want her to die.
Lucca: Hey!

>>“…”
>>“I’m going to get to the bottom of this…”

Marle: Show me your tushy!
Crono: O.o

>>* * *
>>Dinner was quick and somewhat enjoyable. They had managed some old >>rations left from the war, and with the help of some fire magic and >>some spice, made a tolerable meal.

Crono: (sickly) Bar-B-Cued Snail, yum yum.

>>Marle was eyeing Magus carefully, her suspicions running wild, but by >>the time dinner was over, night had fallen, and she was too tired to >>stare. The rain clouds covered the night sky, turning it into a >>glowing orange palette. The rain was falling harshly, and the waves >>in the ocean were wild, unsafe for any boats. If the rain kept >>falling at that pace, lowlands were sure to flood.

Lucca: That was the weather, now on to local news! Yesterday evening the whole castle was in a stir when Princess Nadia announced that she and Crono of Truce were engaged...
Marle: Yay! (hugs Crono)
Crono: O.o Lucca...what did you just do!?

>>“I am so tired…”

Magus: I am so bored...

>>Marle yawned. Eating had made her drowsy, and the lack of activities >>to do made her bored. She called to Magus, who was in a nearby study.
>>“Magus, is there anything to do here?”

Schala: (as ficMagus) Um, there's a D/s dungeon downstairs that you and Crono can play in...
Marle: All right! Call me Queen, Crono!
Crono: O.o JO'O-SAMA!!

>>“Nothing that would interest you.”
>>“What are you doing?”
>>“Reading.”
>>“Anything good for me, Crono, and Lucca?”
>>“Nothing of interest.”

Magus: God, I'm such a stick in the mud!
Crono: And you're just now realizing this?
Magus: Hush, you!

>>“Great… that’s it, I’m going to bed.”
>>She grabbed Crono’s hand and dragged him upstairs. Lucca sat at the >>table alone, daydreaming again. She thought of being out in the rain, >>watching the golden sky, feeling the raindrops, the ground wet >>beneath her. He was with her, playing with her hair, rubbing her >>shoulders… staring into her eyes… holding her…

Schala: (singing) Hold me...thrill me...kiss me...kill me...

>>“Lucca, I’m going up.”

Marle: I assume it was either Crono or Magus who said that...
Magus and Crono: Hey!

>>“Ok…”
>>“What side of the bed do you want?”
>>“Huh? Uhh… either side will do…”
>>“Fine.”
>>He walked up the stairs.
>>Any side as long as I’m with you…

Lucca: Who said that?

>>* * *
>>The bedroom was dark and cold. A lantern was lit on a chair. Magus >>was standing near his painting, watching as the light bounced off of >>it, revealing to him his first masterpiece… however simple it may be.

Crono: Simple or just inane?
Magus: A little of both. I did NOT paint that!

>>He thought it looked like a child’s drawing, and he had no idea what >>brought him to make it. He wanted to show it to Lucca, but he was >>fearful… wondering if she’d like it, what she’d say, how she’d react.

Lucca: I'd tell you that you're a very sick man and should be locked up and the key should be thrown away!
Magus: --; Hey, don't think I'm any happier about this!

>>He envisioned her, looking at it, shocked, worrying that she would >>think that he drew it for kicks, standing back in fear and leaving >>him.

Marle: Run away! Run away!
Lucca: She'd better!

>>He decided to hide it for another day, maybe fix it up a little also.

Magus: By fix it up I assume she means burn it.
Schala: She doesn't, but I bet you would.
Magus: Damn straight!

>>From behind him, he could hear footsteps approaching, coming closer >>to the room. It was her… he could tell… he recognized the rhythm of >>her pace, they way her legs moved.

Crono: (wince!) Ooo, that typo has got to hurt!

>>He liked her legs. He thought they were pretty.

Magus: Hai, I looooove legs! ^^ But Lucca's are like a chickens. Ayla, on the other hand- *WHAMO!)
Lucca: (withdraws her weapon of choice) Grrrr....

>>The steps approached closer, and he kept his eye on the doorway, >>waiting for her to enter.
>>“….Magus?….” she whispered.

Marle: Now she's talking like Crono.
Crono: Or *not* talking, in this fic's case.

>>“I’m not asleep.”
>>“Oh, ok… well, I’m just going to lie down and you can come join me >>whenever you’re tired.”
>>“Fine with me… I have some things to do.”
>>He could hear her sit down on the bed, kicking off her boots, and >>crawling under the sheets.

Magus: (with the Doomsicle, lookin' evil!) Sleep tight...don't let the bed bugs bite! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Others: O.o (recoiling!) Kowai!

>>“Lucca?”
>>“What?”
>>“Are you afraid of me?”
>>“Not really…”
>>“Ok…”
>>“Why do you ask?”
>>“I don’t know… just conversation.”

Marle: (gettin' dizzy!) Whoa...I just lost track of who's talking...again.

>>“Ok… goodnight.”
>>He could see her silhouette turn over towards the wall, but watched >>as she suddenly sat up.
>>“I can’t do this.”

All: YAY!

>>“What? Why?”
>>“Sleeping with these clothes on is choking me.”

All: O.o Oh shit...

>>He watched as she pulled off her shirt, shorts, and socks, leaving >>her in just her underwear.

Schala: (Singing) I'm too sexy for this fic, too sexy for this fic...
Magus: --; *Lavos* is too sexy for this mess!

>>“Is that all you’re going to sleep in?”
>>“Yeah, is there a problem with that?”
>>“You don’t feel odd about wearing almost nothing in a bed with me?”

Lucca: Yes! I do! But do I have a freakin' choice? Nooooooooooo!!
Marle: Easy, Lucca, easy. It's almost over...

>>“Nope.”
>>She sighed, and thought to herself.
>>He likes it. Any minute now he’s going to jump in. Any minute now. >>Any minute.

All: We're still waiting...
Crono: We are?
Others: HELL NO!

>>She could see the moonlight on his face, as he sat in a nearby chair. >>She saw his eyes looking at her.
>>Any minute now. He’s staring at me, wondering how he’s going to take >>me.

Magus: With a big plastic bag.
Crono: Over her head?
Lucca: Hey!
Magus: No. I'm gonna chop her into bits, stuff her in the bag, then burn the evidence.
Lucca: Hey! Hey!!!

>>Come on man, hurry it up! It’s cold in here!

Schala: (monotone, fic Lucca) Come on, old blue. Fuck me. Fuck me hard. Now. Oh. God. Please fuck me now.

>>She kept thinking it to herself over and over again, and got fed up. >>She stood and walked over to him.
>>“Get up.”
>>“What?”
>>“Get up!”

Magus: Give me something stimulating to look at and I will!
Crono: Bad...image...ugh!

>>She grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs, into the moonlight >>filled room above, where Crono and Marle were. She pushed him into >>the room, making him look at Crono and Marle, making him watch as >>Marle was on top of Crono, bouncing happily on his dick, smiling, as >>she lifted herself and plopped downward onto him, making Crono gasp >>every time.

Crono: (ficself) Marle *gasp*! Stop...*wheeze* ow...don't *gasp*! That hurts!
Marle: Oh, bull! (crosses her arms) I hate the top!
Others: O.o

>>“See Marle? That’s supposed to be me. See Crono? That’s supposed to >>be you. Get it?”
>>She watched Magus’ eyes as he turned toward her in shock, his mouth >>dropped open in awe;

Schala:...and horror, at just the mention of such a thing. After all, he was way too old to get it up.
Magus: Hey!

>>he raised his arm and slapped her across the face… she looked at >>Crono and Marle and they were gone… She felt another burning slap >>across her face, and she turned back to Magus, watching as

Lucca: ...the run on sentences overwhelmed our group of brave, brave heros.

>>he suddenly melted into a blue puddle and seeped through the floor…

All:......
Schala: Someone...please tell me I didn't just read that...
Crono: You read it...
Schala: THAT WAS THE MOST ABSURD THING I'VE EVER READ IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!!!!
Others: O.o

>>her heart was racing, as she watched in horror as a hand emerged from >>the seeping liquid and grabbed her ankle, pulling her… and she tried >>to scream but nothing came out, and she tried to run but she couldn’t >>move… and she fell to the ground and couldn’t get up no matter how >>hard she tried… and she screamed again…

Marle: A whole paragraph with not one freakin' period! Delumina, your english teacher weeps for you!

>>“NO!! DON’T!”

Crono: Someone should have said that to the author before she started this massive train wreck.

>>She jerked upward and saw she was back in the room, the rain still >>pouring outside. Magus was in a chair beside the bed, painting on an >>easel. He jumped from his chair and kneeled on the bed, watching as >>beads of cold sweat fell from her forehead. He grabbed her in his >>arms and held her head to her chest.

All: (Slow blink)
Marle: Um...either Magus did a sudden gender bender or Lucca is damn versitile!

>>“What’s wrong?”
>>“No… no way…”
>>“It was just a dream. You’ve been asleep for hours.”
>>“It was freaky… it was you, and Crono, and Marle… and you melted… and >>I couldn’t move…”

Magus: (ficself)...Melted!? Bitch, what the hell you on, yo? Get the fuck out my castle right now!
Crono: Did you go black on us all the sudden, Magus?
Eon: Hey, hey, hey! No racial jokes, guys!
Crono: (wiping off fourth wall dust) I didn't say there was anything bad about it, sheesh!

>>“Relax, Lucca, it was just a dream. Nothing more.”
>>“Oh… shit. I’m not used to those.”

Lucca: D'oi!
Marle: This is one hell of a mindfuck...

>>“Don’t be scared of it, I have you now.”

Magus: (cackling) I have you now, my pretty, and your little Crono too!

>>“You don’t know what it’s like to have a dream like that…”
>>“On the contrary, I have them rather often. You get used to it... >>sometimes...”

Schala: Raise your hand if you dream close to every night.
(Everyone raises their hands)
Schala: Case in point. Those people are freaks!

>>Lucca sat there, her arms around Magus’ back, her head resting on his >>chest. She sighed and relaxed, and suddenly realized that he was >>holding her. But she didn’t care… she was still shocked, and she knew >>she probably wouldn’t get any more sleep for at least a half an hour. >>But she realized something.

Crono: As yes, but did she realize something?
Schala: And even so, what if she realized something? You do realize that if she realized something, then there was something to be realized.
Magus: Of course, she could have realized something, in which case...
All: SHE FREAKIN' REALIZED SOMETHING!!! WE GET THE DAMN POINT, DELUMINA!

>>“Magus, why are you awake?”
>>“I was… busy…”
>>“Doing what in the middle of the night?”

Marle: (as ficMagus) Well duh! I was thinking about Frog and jacking off! *WHAMO!*
Magus: (withdrawing weapon of choice) Don't even go there!

>>“Painting.”
>>“Painting what?”
>>“….you…”

Lucca: Whoa! So that's why my skin is purple!

>>“Me? Can I see?”
>>He let go of her reluctantly, and watched as she stood and had a >>chill, but she kept walking toward the easel, and sat down on his >>stool. She crossed her arms and breathed, and stared at the picture.

Marle: (as ficLucca) Ohmigod, you sick bastard!!! Get away from me! Get the hell away from me or I'll scream!

>>“I can’t see it. Do you have a light?”
>>“It must have blown out when I jumped… are you cold?”
>>“Get a light, I want to see this.”
>>He felt around for the lantern and lit a flame on his finger, >>lighting the fire inside. He handed it to her.
>>“It’s... “

All: HORRIBLE! TERRIBLE!
Marle: No good very bad?
Others: Here, here!

>>“Do you like it?”
>>“Its me.”

Schala: Huh? The picture owns her??

>>“You don’t like it.”
>>“Its you…”

Magus: That picture does NOT own me!

>>Magus felt a pain of anxiousness in his stomach, waiting for her >>answer.
>>She hates it. I knew it. I should have never let her see it. She’s >>going to leave now, and I’ll never see her again.

Crono: Not that that would be a tragedy.

>>“Its beautiful…”

Lucca: That made no sense whatsoever...

>>“What?”
>>“Magus… I’m shocked.”

Marle: How could you!?! You disgusting old pervert!!!

>>“It doesn’t really capture you…”
>>“No… no, its perfect.”
>>“Oh… uh… thanks.”
>>“Why?”
>>“I don’t know… I just felt like painting one day…”

Schala: Much to our misfortune.
Lucca: (Chanting) Over soon, it'll be over soon, please God let it be over soon...

>>Magus watched as Lucca had another chill, and bent over from the >>cold.
>>“Lucca, you’re freezing.”
>>“No…”
>>“You can look at it tomorrow. I don’t want to see you freeze.”

Magus: I don't?

>>“It’s not cold.” She said with a shiver.
>>“I’ve been living in this castle for much longer than you. Its cold.”

Marle: Shows how much you know! Castles are drafty, yes, but since it's what like, the middle of summer, there's no way it could be cold!

>>“Why don’t you want me to freeze?”
>>“Because you’ll get sick.”
>>“Why are you so worried?”

Crono: To move to plot along.
Magus: This is going to sound redundant but...what plot?

>>He sat there, looking into her eyes, unable to speak. His jaw was >>shaking… he didn’t know what to say… he didn’t know how he felt… he >>never felt anything like it before.

Schala: The insane urge to kill, kill, kill?
Marle: Even I'm starting to get that urge.

>>It was new… it was like a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach >>that wouldn’t go away unless he was with her… he was anxious… and he >>couldn’t get her out of his head… he wanted to be with her… but he >>couldn’t say it…

Lucca:...because the run on sentences had left him out of breath.
Magus: I'll say there's a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, but it sure as hell ain't love!

>>“I don’t know…”
>>She sighed and stood up, walking towards the bed. She crawled on it >>and moved to the back, crunched against the wall, still getting >>chills down her back.
>>“You’re still cold.”
>>“I’ll deal with it.”

Marle: Here's an idea...PUT SOME FRICKIN' CLOTHES ON!!!

>>Magus left the room. She sighed and thought to herself.
>>The man is a wuss. He can’t even speak to me. He’s like a friggin >>teenager.

Magus: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, HO!!!
Schala: Janus!!!
Magus: Sorry 'Ala...

>>She dozed off.
>>* * *
>>“Crono…”

Crono: Yes?

>>She paused.
>>“Crono!”

Crono: What is it?

>>She watched as he groggily opened his eyes and sat up.
>>“Crono, I can’t get to sleep.”

Marle: I read some crazy fic by an author named Raye deLumina and now I've been getting nightmares!

>>Crono took her by the shoulder and pulled her down to the pillow.
>>“Crono, I want to go exploring.”
>>Crono sat up again, smiling, and began to take off his pants.
>>“Not that kind of exploring… around the castle.”
>>He laid down again and shut his eyes.

Crono: --; This author is really pushing my limit...

>>“Get up, Crono, if I can’t sleep then you can’t.”

Marle: Forget pushing...the limit snapped in two ages ago!

>>She stood from the bed and grabbed his arm, pulling him up. He >>hesitated, but then agreed, standing on his own. They made their way >>quietly down the stairs in the dark.
>>“I think we’re in the kitchen. I think there’s a lantern around here, >>by the sink.”

Marle: I think--
Magus: She thinks?
Marle: (pulling out weapon of choice) --that you go squish now, Magus!!!
Schala: Hey, check it out! They had indoor plumbing in medievil times, apparently.
Magus: (scraping himself off the floor) That's...ugh...nice...

>>She felt around and found a long round object.

Crono: O.o Um Marle...that's not a candle!

>>“Well… I think this is a candle… Crono, light it.”
>>He lit a burst of lightning in his hand, and unwittingly aimed it >>wrong, right at Marle. She was shocked for a second. Crono could see >>her glowing.
>>“Not me, the candle!!!”

Magus: Actually, he had it right the first time.
Marle: Hey!

>>His eyes adjusted a little bit better to the darkness, and he was >>able to see the whiteness of the candle. A smaller burst of lightning >>flew from his fingertips and lit the candle.
>>“Much better. Lets go.”

Lucca: Okay, I want to know who stole all the damn apostrophes!

>>They walked through the front room, over to the side of the wall.
>>“There’s a staircase here.”
>>They snuck down carefully, trying not to make a sound. They entered a >>large room they had never seen before, full of chains. There was a >>whip on the floor and some orange cloth.
>>“Look, Crono, someone’s been down here.”

Crono: No, you think? Um, hey man...I'm like the only one in this game that wears orange...oh shit O.o

>>She walked over to it slowly, so the candle didn’t blow out. There, >>she found something odd.
>>“Crono, these are Lucca’s. Here’s her shorts, and her shirt… and her >>kerchief…”

Lucca: Marle! How can you say that about me!?
Marle: Huh?
Lucca: Such language, such insolence!
Marle: Whaddid I do, whaddid I do!?

>>Crono followed, lifting the pieces of tattered cloth from the ground.
>>“Look, there’s some chains on the floor. And here’s some leather… And >>some blue pants. Its Magus’s.”

Magus: Do I really wear this much blue? I hadn't noticed...

>>Crono looked at Marle in awe.
>>“What happened here?”
>>“What do you think happened here?”

Crono: Did...I just speak a whole sentence? O.o

>>Crono gasped. He looked to the far corner of the room, where he saw a >>figure sitting in the dark.
“>>Magus?”
>>“Who else?”

Schala: I dun' know. Maybe if you tell us who the bloody hell is talking!

>>“What did you do? Why are Lucca’s clothes on the ground?”
>>Magus didn’t speak.
>>“What the hell did you do with my friend?”
>>Magus sighed.
>>“Answer me!”
>>“I don’t know.”

All: WHO THE HELL IS TALKING!!??!!??
Marle: This fic is just...frustrating.

>>“You don’t know? Why is there a whip on the floor? And why are >>Lucca’s clothes on the floor?”
>>“I don’t know. I honestly have no idea.”

Lucca: Well you are honestly lying, because we saw the last part!
Magus: Maybe this is the real me. Maybe I was locked in the dungeon and a pod person took me over.
Crono: (snickering) Keep dreaming.

>>“How can you have no idea?”
>>“Because I’m confused.”
>>“You got that right.”

Marle: Confused. Yep, that about sums it up. Ooooooooooo my head!

>>Crono stood and took Marle by her arm, taking her upstairs. Marle >>called out to Magus.
>>“We’re not done with you yet! I want to know what you did with my >>friend!”
>>Magus sat there, alone, in the dark. He sighed.
>>“I found her…”

ALL: BULLSHIT!
Schala: It's over! YES!

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Marle let the screen slide back into place, then collapsed in a heap on her bed. Beside her Crono fell back against the headboard with a heavy groan. Lucca and Schala stood up off the couch, both stretching out.
"That...was horrible..." Magus groaned.
Schala rolled her eyes. "Thank you Mr. Obvious!"
"I don't know about you," Lucca said, walking to the window, "But I'm getting out of here as fast as I possibly can!"
"Wait up!" Schala yelled, jumping out the window behind her. Magus followed closely, despite a strong dislike of getting out of the chair. Marle turned to Crono and shrugged.
"Was it really that bad?" She asked.
Crono sighed. "Yes, Marle."

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End...of fic...phew! *collapses* Made it! Good Lord, this thing keeps getting worse and worse...But there are some good things. Really. I mean it! And when I figure them out, I'll tell you. ^^

~Eon

On to Chapter 2