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Ncik's AD&D Psychoanalysis Test
Written and designed by Nick Reed
Total of 48 questions

Notes on how to answer the test:
Either answer as to how your perfect AD&D character would respond (resulting in a character-answer), or as to how you personally would respond, without the restrictions imposed by a modern day society (resulting in a player-answer).
NOTE: On some questions you may think "well - none of them!" - just choose the one that you disagree with the least...

Just as you settle down to sleep you hear a thief break in through the downstairs window. As he heads up the stairs you let loose with a volley of magic missiles, rendering him unconscious. Do you:
Deliver him to the local infirmary and not report the incident?
Remove all money from his beltpouches, tie him up, and place him outside the city?
Do your best to patch the wounds, and then take him to the town hall to report the break in?

Two of the local villagers have been taken hostages and held in a cave outside the city until a ransom is paid. Would you:
Teleport into the cave interior during the night, hoping to kill the ransomers in their sleep?
Turn invisible and, creeping into the cave, try to get the villagers away by using enchantment spells?
Stand at the cave mouth and shout a challenge to the ransomers to fight you for the villagers?

After having quested for many months to obtain a powerful magical staff, you find a companion trying to steal it during their watch around the campfire. Do you:
Make a joke of the event, but, when travelling back to the boat, several days later, push the companion from his horse and over the cliff edge?
Pretend not to notice, but, as the thief makes his escape, chant the words that transform the staff into a deadly poisonous snake?
Call a lightning bolt down on the thief's head, and maybe perhaps a few others of whom you suspect jealousy?

Your party, having decided to take a short cut through a forest and, therein, camped for the night, is awoken by the noise of giants lumbering past nearby. Do you:
Slide out from beneath your blanket, and into the night's shadows, leaving the party to deal with the possible encounter?
Quickly draw your swords and hide out of the firelight, ready to pounce if the party is attacked?
Magically extinguish the camp fire, creating a huge cloud of smoke that will help hide you in the ensuing combat?

You have been chosen to protect a sacrificial altar in your local chapel. When a group of rival priests enter the chapel to cleanse it, do you:
Blast them with magical spells, calling on your god to assist you?
Warn them not to enter or you will be forced to kill them?
Brandish your warhammer and charge at the nearest priest?

Your wrestling opponent in the royal tournament event turns out to be about twice your size, and could easily beat you. Do you decide to:
Get yourself blessed and magically (though not noticeably) aided before the fight, to gain an advantage?
Secrete a knuckle-duster about your person, intending to use it from the word go?
Fight to your best ability, hoping your god will give you the strength to win?

You have been promoted to head of the king's guards, having almost died during a recent ambush so as to protect him. Do you:
Use your new position to gain information on other possible plans being made against the king?
Act no differently to before?
Spend your time arresting all those you believe to be involved in the recent ambush?

You have been arrested for assaulting a young woman newly in town. However, the reality is that, having poisoned you, she then tried to steal your horse and money, and you merely stopped her. Do you:
Plead guilty, but get your companions at the thieves' guild to drive this unrecognised thief out of town?
Plead guilty, but describe your case, knowing you are unable to prove any of it?
Plead not guilty and, using every way possible, try to force her to confess?

One of the patients at your infirmary is dying from a disease unknown to you. Having finished the chalk circle on the floor, you finish the expensive enchantments that will summon:
An imp, whose extensive knowledge could give you information on how to put this disease to your use?
A spectral minion of your deity, from whom you will demand delivering of information on what the disease is?
A powerful entity who will be able to cure the disease, but will be unlikely to know how to prevent another case if it occurs?

You have been asked to perform a marriage ceremony for two of your best friends. However, their religious beliefs do not agree with yours. Do you:
Spend hours advising, but not demanding, them that they should alter their arrangements?
Graciously decline, saying they need to find someone who is unlikely to put themselves out of religious favour by performing the ceremony, unlike yourself?
Agree, after some consideration, and offer to perform some magical entertainments after the ceremony as well?

Over the last day you have been under enchantment and, during that time, have killed one member of your adventuring party. Having come out of the enchantment, do you:
Retrieve your companion's belongings, taking the best equipment for yourself, and split the rest between the surviving others?
Get your companion resurrected at the nearest temple, but demand he pays the cost for it?
Raise your companion as an undead slave, and have him accompany the party on the rest of the adventure?

During a visit to the local city sage, it turns out that one of the potions you gave in to be inspected is in fact a vial of poison. Do you:
Inwardly curse yourself for not paying attention when handing out your bottles, and feign shock and surprise?
Explain that you intended to magically analyse it, as you are researching a spell to help the party destroy adversaries on the adventures easier?
Gasp, and recall the box of unlabelled potions you all split up after plundering the nearby evil sect's temple?

You find out that the local assassin's guild is using a magical portal to transport items from one town to another. Having found the portal's location, do you:
Report the location to the town hall and mages' guild, and let them deal with it?
Wait at the portal and steal the next delivery of items, using force if necessary?
Ambush the next person to step through the portal, and then inform the town hall, taking the assassin as evidence?

The last four doors that have been encountered in your current dungeon have been fatally trapped. Coming across another door, do you:
Check the door, intending to find a way to spring the trap from a distance if you find one?
Give up on the dungeon, deciding that the treasure at the end is not worth the deaths involved?
Get the other, remaining, thief to check the door, keeping yourself as far away as possible?

You have become bored with researching powerful and explosive spells at the mages' guild, and so decide to leave for ever and:
Sell your spells to anyone that will pay you money for them, regardless of their intentions?
Travel from mages' guild to mages' guild, selling on your spells to those eager to learn?
Test them out on the populous, knowing you have the ability to reverse any harm that might come about?

As a reward for saving a powerful mage from being killed in her sleep, she grants you one wish. Do you wish:
To be more powerful and faster in combat?
For a protection spell to be cast over your home village?
The ability to determine, at will, if an item is of any value?

Between adventures, you choose to spend a week gaining further training in your favourite weapon, which is:
A dagger, due to it being easily concealable, and quick to bring to hand?
A longsword, due to it being the standard, and most common, weapon throughout the land?
A flail, due to its ability to cause pain and suffering, and because no-one else likes it?

Having set out, on your own, intending to bring god into the lives of the heathen hordes of the wilderness, your first stop will be:
The dwarves in the mountains, intending to prove yourself to them by your skill in combat?
Some forest centaurs, whose destruction should show that your beliefs are all-mighty?
The nearby orc settlements, bringing them closer to god by way of death?

Having killed most of them, one of the party of robbers who tried to ambush you on the way to town is still conscious. Do you:
Tell him to flee, then shoot him in the back, retrieving any treasures visible off the corpses afterwards?
Cause his dead companions to rise from the dead around him and kill him?
Continue the combat, but if he falls unconscious (and not dead) then bandage him and take him to town to be imprisoned?

Upon finding a golden, ten feet tall, idol of the god of Death within the underground cave system, your first move is to:
Leave it alone, but make a mental note to have it transported to your chapel?
Blow it apart and retrieve a lot of the chunks, intending to keep this place as your personal money store?
Pile everything wooden you can find around the base, and set fire to it all, hoping to melt it?

During a bar brawl, an annoyed mage lets loose with a fireball, sending most the participants into unconsciousness. Do you:
Shout for the city guard and, flipping up a table and using it as a full body shield, charge at the mage?
Scream and charge at the mage from behind, drawing your sword, and hoping to catch him unawares?
Show that two can play that game, and call a tower of flame down on him, intending to follow up with your sword if necessary?

At the end of a long and gruelling religious quest, you find a holy sword which, unfortunately, you are unable to wield. Do you:
Take it with you when you finish the quest and give it to a worthy companion, who may possibly be able to use it?
Leave it where you found it, and let anyone who wants it go through everything you just went through?
Take it with you, intending to sell it to the highest bidder when you finish your quest?

On completion of your last adventure, the person that hired you refused to pay you for your troubles. Do you:
Threaten to transform him into a rat if he does not hand over the money?
Call down a bolt of lightning ten feet to his left, and ask again to be paid?
Abduct a relative of his and hold them until he pays up?

A band of adventurers has broken into your tower, setting off expensive traps and killing your guards. Do you:
Activate the poison trap, and hide, waiting to deal with the remaining adventurers yourself?
Cast some spells to see what they are doing, and summon some spirits at their location at the most inconvenient times to fight them off?
Prepare to defend your research laboratory with every illusion and terror spell in your arsenal?

As a bet you have broken into Thief Guild Master's house and have actually made your escape with a small china figurine. Do you:
Use it to prove that you accomplished the bet, but return it again the next night?
Return it immediately, knowing that one of the people who challenged you is a thief himself?
Forget the bet and go sell the figurine as quickly impossible, using spells to cover your flight from the city?

On you way out of the tavern, you see a companion of yours take a belt pouch, unnoticed, from one of the tavern regulars who you all know little about. Do you:
Use physical intimidation to force your companion to return the belt pouch?
Steal it, in turn, from your companion, and return it, hopefully unnoticed?
Report your companion to the local town guard, getting her arrested?

Having agreed to split the profits from the latest adventure equally with your companions, you are sure that the share you have been given is less than it should be. Do you:
Demand that the total rewards be displayed and divided again?
Use your magical abilities to detect who received the greatest share of the treasure, and persuade them that they should give a little to you?
Make a fuss, but actually be unconcerned knowing that you pocketed the bag of emeralds from the final chamber without being noticed?

After an almost fatal battle you notice that your sole companion, a mage, did not make an effort to help you through the entire combat. Do you:
Scream and hack your blade into the mage, repaying her for her uselessness?
Magically ignite her robe, knowing that she has no way of extinguishing the magical flames?
Ask her to help retrieve the valuables from the corpses and then, when she has her backed turned, massacre her from behind?

You have been asked to adjudicate a combat between two high level druids, but believe that, during the combat, the victor broke the agreed upon rules. Do you:
Tell them both of the mishap and state that the combat will have to be refought?
Grant the loser the victory of the fight?
Use your knowledge of the mishap to judge who would have won if the fight had been fair?

Being lost, and almost frozen to death, in a severe storm you made camp in a large cave, only to find that a dragon dwelled within. To survive the night, do you:
Having decided that your chances of killing the dragon are average, at best, you attack it?
Retreat from the cave, hoping you can find shelter again in the storm before you die?
Try to reason with the dragon so that it allows you to stay in the cave until the storm subsides?

Whilst showing off your latest magical artifact in the village hall, it unexpectedly detonates, killing a large proportion of the villagers. Do you:
Use the opportunity to rob the houses, making notes as to how you might have caused the explosion?
Hastily make your escape, covering your tracks as best you can?
Leave the artifact in such a position as to incriminate a local thief, then flee, taking everything valuable you come across in your hasty departure?

After much time fighting a demon that has been terrorizing the nearby town, both you and the demon are weak - the first to land a blow will surely kill the other. Do you:
Use your remaining fireball, possibly killing yourself in the process, but definitely killing the demon?
Use your remaining healing spell, hoping it will heal you enough to give you the edge?
Use your remaining potion of speed, and flee, leaving the demon to heal itself and for someone else to kill?

You do not have enough money to pay for passage on the boat that will transport you to where the rest of your party are waiting. Do you:
Offer to pay for the trip by working for the boat keeper, despite your terrible seasickness?
Follow the richest looking person you can find from the local tavern, and rob him?
Sell the magical shield that you have been entrusted to keep for the party, just to pay for the boat?

A local party of adventurers, knowing of your magical skill, ask you to check a dull looking gem to see if it is magical. It turns out that it will grant the holder of it three wishes. Do you:
Say that it is virtually worthless, and offer some loose coinage for it?
Inform them of its abilities, and ask to be allowed to use one for yourself?
Use two of the wishes yourself during your analysis, then give it back informing them that it grants a wish?

When entering the noisy local inn, your first response is to:
Take a quick look to see who could possible cause you trouble?
Look for the safest place possible if a fight was to break out?
Look to see where the loudest gambling is being performed?

Whilst wandering through the local woods you find a wolf with its paw caught in an orc-made trap. Do you:
Use your magic to free the wolf from the trap, then spend the day hunting down orcs?
Knowing you won't be able to bring the wolf back to full health, put the wolf out of its misery?
Enchant the wolf asleep and then kill it, taking its skin back to sell at the nearby village?

You find out that the captain of the town guard has been stealing money from the deposit within the local town hall. Do you:
Find out where he lives and, by blackmailing or by magic, force him to give you a share of the money?
Steal some back as evidence and report him to the authorities in the nearest city.
Try to force him to put the money back into the town hall deposit, and, if he does, not report the matter?

Having spent weeks devising a plan to steal a magical item from the local mages' guild, you find out that it is going to be moved before you can commence your plan. Do you:
Make enquiries as to where it is being moved to, and start your plans again, based on that location?
Try to find a place to plan an ambush for when it is being relocated?
Forget your plans and try to rush the acquisition before it can be moved from your location?

You have been personally chosen to break into the home of a well-off merchant, and steal as many valuables as possible. Do you:
Find a ground floor window and, using a silence spell to quiet your movements, just grab everything in sight?
Make investigations into the plans to the house, finding the best places to enter, and most likely places where treasure would be stored?
Hire two other thieves to assist you, fixing an agreed percentage for each, with you using magic to assist the robbery?

You have been assigned to guard the main door of the local meeting hall from intrusion. However, you notice a sword fight breaking out a few buildings down the street. Do you:
Join the combat for a few minutes, subduing the combatants, and then taking them to the infirmary?
Creep around the buildings and join the combat from the rear, hoping to take any belongings that fall in your direction?
Fire a few arrows into the combat, although doing so is against the law, and call for the town guard?

On completing a difficult quest you are given a robe that makes you invisible and silent. Do you use it to:
Assist you steal even more magical items, making you more powerful?
Find out information on important individuals that could prove useful?
Assist you in performing a great number of robberies?

A woman you do not know offers you a great deal of money to steal a tapestry from the city palace. Do you:
Take the advanced partial payment, but then report her to the authorities?
Hire someone else to steal the tapestry, and then haggle over the price after you have it?
Try to subdue and arrest her yourself?

Upon reaching a nearby village, you find it, just recently, burnt to the ground with only two young survivors. Do you:
Find out from the survivors what happened, and then immediately set off to pursue the culprits?
Stay with the survivors to protect them from harm, taking them on the day long journey back to the safety of the city?
Summon magical assistance to hunt down the arsonists and kill them while you stay behind to bury the dead?

At the end of your quest you are given the choice of one of two items to keep, the other disintegrating once you choose. Do you choose:
To keep the wand that causes powerful, but random, magical effects?
To keep both, and see what happens?
To keep the suit of armour that makes you twice as effective in hand-to-hand combat?

Which three companions would you choose to accompany you on an adventure:
Two dwarven fighters and an elven cleric.
A dwarven fighter, a gnome illusionist and a halfling thief?
A halfling fighter, a human mage and a human bard?

The local thieves' guild has started a war against a neighbouring thieves' guild Do you choose to join:
The local rebellion who are trying to stop the murders by killing any thieves they find?
The local thieves' guild, making planned attack against the rival guild's leaders?
The local town guard, temporarily, who are trying to swell their ranks to stop the backstreet murders?

The end of the world is nigh, and the only hope lies in the retrieval of a lost sacred artifact. Do you:
Rush off, with a band of adventurers, on the first rumour that surfaces as to the artifact's location?
Wish everyone luck, and use the time of confusion to make a quick profit?
Wait, letting everyone else rush about, until you have enough information to make a planned attempt to retrieve the artifact?

You have found two enchanted rings. One kills while the other grants a wish. Do you:
Get someone else to try them on, not telling them what the possible outcomes are?
Keep them both until you can get them identified, as you could think of possible uses for both?
Have a quick look to see if you can determine which is which and, if not, try on the most likely looking one?