A/N: This is a song fic to a Sailor Moon song. I am cheap. I have no life. But it made for an okay fic, methinks. Review [at the Nibelheim Library] at your leisure.
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Deep in my soul/ a love so strong/ it takes control
He stood at the windowpane; his icy azure orbs closed almost as if in prayer. Before his sheathed eyes, a star fell across the sky. A star he never even saw. His eyes flickered open, and he ran his slender fingers through his spun golden hair. Hands that had caused so much grief to others, so much pain and suffering. As the richest, most powerful person in the world, he didn't give the multitude of people whose deaths were on his hands a second thought. 'As long as people feel important, they feel better about themselves. This distracts them from their emptiness.' Rufus Shinra, the new President, had no reason to continue with his life except to force people into ignoring his acts and applauding their own misfortunes.
Now we both know/ the secret's bare/ the feeling shows
His thoughts were interrupted by a low growl. He turned to see the glint of bared fangs and sapphire-ebony fur. His only friend. Darknation. His father had named her when Rufus himself was a young, impressionable boy, before he saw the potential in destroying and murdering. Using himself as a tool of destruction to wipe out the weak. Dark Nation, for the nations were all darkened by the blight of Shinra. His body clenched with a sob and he fell forward, eyes closed, to weep against the passionless glass with heart-rending screams of betrayal. Tears openly streamed down his face, marring the pale skin of one who had never cried before.
Driven far apart/ I'll make a wish on a shooting star
His father had punished him when he showed any sign of weakness as a child. He had learned, choked back his tears. He couldn't feel pain anymore, or so they thought. Indigo and gold bruises once marked his snowy flesh. Now he had none. The rage and misery from all his years manifested in these fleeting moments. His eyes opened as he saw through his tears, making his vision blurry, Darknation at his feet still. He knelt and stroked the glossy hide, twining his long fingers in the sable expanse. The tears still persisted, his penetrating turquoise eyes buried in the silky raven fur that had never known tears. Darknation was a beast of fighting, a tool like Rufus himself...a puppet.
There will come a day/ somewhere far away/ in your arms I'll stay/ my only love
As he lifted his weary frame back up to be supported by the window, he looked back up to the skies. Outside, above the lights of the city that he controlled, a few early morning stars still could be seen in the dusky dark aurora after-glow of the very early morning melting into the very late night. He thought back on all he had lost in his life, first, as a child, his mother; as a youth, his self-respect; and most recently, his father. 'Nothing is worth it anymore. People need something that averts their eyes from the reality of their lives. All I have to go on is broken promises and lies.'
Even though you're gone/ love will still live on
He fingered his worn white trenchcoat and felt his warm shotgun against his bare skin. All he needed was here...except the one he truly loved. Would he go on living his mechanical life, not caring who lived and died? Destroying lives and for what? Power? 'I'm just like my father,' he realized as the tears began to fall again. 'My father...he made mistakes. He's the one who made me the way I am, and he's the one who taught me first to dehumanize the individual person to numb the people as a society themselves. I'm no better than he...was...'
The feeling is so strong/ my only love/ my only love
Rufus half-smiled through the tears that still stained his face. Down below in the city, the morning was beginning again like it did every morning. Women were waking up alone, members of the knife-in-the-throat nightlife were settling into their beds. 'Scarce as those beds may be...broken glass and alleyways. Such is my nation, my dark-nation. Giving people false hope just makes the disappointment worse. When you have no hope, there is no disappointment.'
There will come a day/ somewhere far away/ in your arms I'll stay/ my only love
Rufus yawned widely and pulled out his gun. He marveled slightly at the polished metals and warm power that seemed to emit from his weapon. He contemplated silently his marksmanship, his strength, and the heat of the shotgun, perhaps from absorbing his very aura. Without warning, a harsh gunshot was fired in Midgar disturbing the mourning doves perched on a lofty building just outside. The bullet shattered the self-same window that had mingled with the pent-up emotion spilling over itself, much like the blood spilled over this very city. It permeated the streets, hardened the people. Rufus fired off a few more, and the whole window fragmented to the ground with a crystalline cry.
You've reached the deepest part/ of the secret in my heart/ you've known it from the start/ my only love
He replaced his weapon to his waist and regarded a bleeding wound on his wrist from the impact of the broken glass. Funny, but he hadn't noticed it before. He tore off a piece of his trenchcoat and wiped the blood off. Darknation sniffed the bloody rag cast aside in disdain. He looked to the empty windowframes where the wind whipped his hair lightly, and wryly grinned. Yes, another day. Another chance to be taunted by the heavens and the stars. Rufus turned and walked slowly to the door. He unlocked the door and stepped out into the dark hall. Quietly Rufus closed on the bloody corpse of his former father and the shattered windows. He had no sympathy for the departed. 'Maybe they were right...I won't feel the pain anymore.'
~fin~
Author's Notes: Well, that was a properly angsty songfic, and I've always liked Rufus for angst, so many possibilities. The song is from Sailor Moon, I thought it appropriate if you ignore the SM context and try to think of it in Rufus's case. Odd, but this was supposed to be a Fufy [Yes, I do indeed call him Fufy] and someone else fic, I was thinking Tifa, one of my psycho little creation kitties, Wufei ::swoon:: from GW, or a self-insertion of moi. I'm quite happy with what turned out nevertheless; it's very rare for inspiration to strike me even if I am incredibly stuck on the My Only Love theme. And as to the Wuf and Fuf fic, it will be forthcoming, never fear. ^)_^
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