by Fins

The sounds of the Gold Saucer... circus music, laughter, cheering crowds... they were as loud in the middle of the night as in the middle of the day. The fun never ended here.

I couldn't sleep. I walked to the window of my hotel room to admire the view- flashing lights and balloons were everywhere. Such a happy atmosphere. I wished my mood were the same.

Cloud...

My beloved.

I wondered what he was thinking right now.

NO! Not her... I gripped the windowsill tightly in frustration. Cloud barely even knew her. She had just appeared out of nowhere, with her cute little pink dress, and attached herself to our party. Ever since she came, Cloud had barely given me a glance. Aeris. With her flippant attitude, her girly-girl helplessness... I knew it was all a ruse, a trick to win Cloud's pity. He felt like he had to protect her. As for me... well, I've always been independent. Able to take care of myself. And I've known Cloud for longer than she has, I care about him more deeply, I can understand him. I don't care if he's distant sometimes. I understand that he has a lot on his complex mind.

Aeris. My number one rival.

I sighed to myself and sat down on the bed. What should I do?

I've always had trouble expressing my true feelings. What if I open myself up completely, spill out my heart and soul, only to be shot down when I'm the most vulnerable? Especially to someone like Cloud, who had little or no respect for others' emotions. He had no idea how I felt about him. If I confessed my love to him, he would be shocked. Scared. I would scare him away for good.

I can't flirt, not like that Aeris can. I feel stupid and clumsy. I can't play coy.

Damn.

I ran a hand nervously over my dark hair. I knew that no matter how hard it was, I had to talk to Cloud. I had to let him know how I felt. And what better place to do that then the Gold Saucer, where anything goes?

Then I had second thoughts. We were in the middle of saving the planet. Cloud was distracted, he was beginning to shut himself away from us, because he was worried. I didn't want to add to his problems.

That was a negative attitude. Who ever said I was a "problem?" Maybe Cloud would be happy. Maybe he would tell me that he felt the same way... I sighed again. If only...

I stared down at the floor and my gaze fell on my heavy brown boots. Sort of similar to Aeris's brown boots. At least they actually matched my outfit. Pink is for pansies.

I pictured myself going to Cloud's hotel room, knocking on the door. He would see me and his face would light up in a smile. We would feel a bond so close that we wouldn't even need to speak. He would stare into my pretty brown eyes... and I would say those special three words.

The little fantasy filled me with new hope. I took a deep breath and walked quickly out of my room before I lost my nerve.

His room was right next to mine. I knocked on the door.

I held my breath as I heard noise from inside the room, my love getting out of bed and walking up to the door.

Cloud opened the door and stared at me.

"Hey, Barret," he said. "What do you want?"