By Karma Koopa
"All right you cruddy engine, what's the problem?" Kooky growled through clenched teeth as he got on his knees and fumbled with the hatch on his latest invention, the transmogrifier. A black jet of oil spurted over his claws as he wrenched it open, making him recoil a little. Somehow, the oil gauge had burst, spattering everything inside of the transmogrifier's casing and turning it into a grimy mess. "Ohhh noooo..." he groaned, wiping his grimy hand on his shell, leaving a trail of black residue on its smooth green surface. He had spent all morning attempting to work the bugs out of it and now it was gone... six hours of work down the tubes.
"Maybe it WASN'T a good idea to try and transform a Goomba into a Reznor," he lamented as he gathered up the ruined shell of his latest work and gingerly set it into the wastepaper bin beside his work table as though he were laying a loved one to rest in an open grave.
"How's the inventin' coming, Kooky?" a high pitched voice inquired. He turned to see his younger brother, Hip, bobble into the room as he perched atop a ball. "Didn't turn out so good, huh?" he asked, looking at the puddle of black oil on the floor and his brother's shell.
"Brilliant deduction, Holmes." he replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Don't you have someone else to bother?"
"Nope... just tryin' to get away from Kootie Pie for a lil' while." Hip explained. "Need any help?"
"Answer me a question, Hip." Kooky said quietly. "What on EARTH do you see in her?"
"Huh?" the younger koopaling inquired, cocking his head at a questioning angle.
"Exactly what I asked... what do you see in her?" he repeated. "She's loud, obnoxious, and self-centered. Make a horrible mother someday." he added with a shudder.
"Well....I dunno exactly. I know she likes ME a lot..." Hip faltered. "Eh... I'm too young to think about it anyway," he added with a shrug.
"Better start thinking about it soon," Kooky told him. "It won't be long and you'll HAVE to settle on a wife."
"Then why haven't you?" his brother asked smugly, his balance teetering ever so slightly on the ball.
"I have more important things to worry about," the wild-haired Koopa replied matter-of-factly. "Genius comes first... families have to wait."
"Yeah...kinda better you stayed out of it anyway, Kooky," Hip laughed. "It gets kinda gross. Ya know Kootie Pie... she... ugh, she wanted to hold my HAND today!" After saying this, he wrinkled his nose in disgust and lulled his tongue dramatically out of the side of his mouth. Kooky, however, failed to notice as he threw open a leather-bound book that had been sitting on his workbench and began to leaf through it fervently. Hip, deciding his older brother was going to provide less-than-adequate conversation, bumbled out of the room atop his ball to seek someone else to talk to.
Love... hmph. That seemed to be all Hip talked about nowadays. Ludwig was getting just a tad tired of hearing Kootie Pie privately gush about how WONDERFUL Hip was to her tape recorder diary and meanwhile listening to Hip prattle on about how he hated love and marriage. He, himself, had chosen the easiest route he could think of: avoiding it altogether. Science was his lady as far as he was concerned and she seemed a lot more worthwhile than some perfume-marinated Koopa girl.
His thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash in the hallway. Kooky jolted to attention as his brother, Bully, began to bellow at the top of his lungs. "HEY PINHEAD!! WHY DONTCHA WATCH WHERE I'M GOIN'?!"
"Geez Laweez! Sorry, Bully!" Hip's voice squealed.
"Why dontcha learn to WALK like a normal Koopa?" there was a sharp popping sound followed by Hip sobbing.
"You popped my ball!!!!" he wailed. Kooky looked down to see, with much distaste, that he had torn a page in his book when the noise outside of his room had startled him. Rolling his eyes, he slammed it shut and tucked it under his arm. Evidently, he wasn't going to find enough peace to read HERE. He cast a quick glance at the window. The sun was shining brightly and it looked to be warm enough. Why not? He quietly left his room, closing the door firmly and headed for the west exit.
***
It was a very warm summer afternoon, Kooky noted as he walked through the unkept grasses surrounding King Bowser's castle and retreated to the woods surrounding it, seeking a quiet place to sit and read. He didn't make a practice of reading outside and was slightly bothered by the outdoor noises. Hidden in a tree, a Wiggler loudly chewed on its meal of leaves and Yoshi berries while from an unseen source, two Goombas loudly growled at each other, chattering away in their native tongue. He supposed it was better than having to listen to the dischordant screeching of his brothers and sister as he found a sturdy-looking tree to sit beneath and situated himself with the book in his lap before beginning to flip through the pages again.
"Now let's see... no, I already built the stoneshooter," he muttered, flipping past its picture and assembly instructions. Amid the instructions was a sticky note he had pasted in and written in his untidy handwriting: "Some modifications needed". "Modifications... hmm..." he murmured. "I know! Instead of stones, I can make it launch Cheep-Cheeps and Hammer Brothers!! MUCH more effective! NO! Sumo Brothers!" he grinned. “But then I'll need to increase the diameter of the barrel to a meter across instead of thirteen inches... and the launch power would have to be upped to 8X." He pondered this quietly, scratching his head.
"NO! Jumper, you stonehead!!" someone cried. Kooky jolted, hearing the harsh purring sound of another page in his book tearing. Angered, he slammed it shut and looked about himself for the guilty party. He hadn't long to wait before a blur of green and purple dropped straight into his lap.
"GAH!" he cried, scuttling backwards away from whatever it was. Before him, in a rumpled heap sat a... well... a creature. It looked like a horribly mixed up Yoshi at best as it stood and brushed the leaves off of its backside.
"You're more trouble than you're worth, ya know that?" it screeched up into the tree in a high voice at an invisible source. Kooky decided the intruder was female as he plucked up his courage and ventured forward.
"Hey! Who are you? What're you doing on King Koopa's territory?" he demanded to know, putting on as aggressive of a stance as he could. The stranger turned then, glaring at him coolly through violet eyes beneath thick lashes.
"Bakin' brownies, what does it look like?" she growled. Kooky took a long look at her, still trying to decide what she was. She had the head, body, and tail of a green Yoshi, but wore metal spiked bands around her wrists and had a purple Koopa shell that glistened with a pearly luster and was crowned with three spikes. She was wearing a pink ribbon in her mane of black hair that blew a bit in the breeze. "JUMPER!!! GET DOWN HERE!!!" she bellowed into the tree, ignoring Kooky once again. There was a pause before a rather timid-looking Buzzy Beetle scampered down the bark of the tree and stopped at its owner's feet, making apologetic cooing noises.
"Do you realize I could have you executed for--" Kooky's threat was cut off as the odd girl grabbed up Jumper and thrust him into Kooky's arms.
"Hold him a minute, would ya?" she told him. Kooky flinched a little as the black creature nestled itself in his grasp and the stranger disappeared up the tree again with the agility of a jaguar. A moment later, she returned with a green backpack and a necklace with a curious-looking bauble attached to the end. "Can't trust Beetles worth a darn." she sighed, shouldering the backpack. "This little creep thought it would be funny to try and wake me up by hiding all my stuff," she added, pointing a clawed paw accusingly at Jumper.
"Bzzzzz..." it groaned, its body jerking as though it were sobbing. She rolled her eyes and grabbed him up into her own arms. "Well... thanks, kid. See ya," she said with a simple wave and turned to walk away.
"Hey!" Kooky cried, making her whirl around to face him again. "You... never told me why you were here," he faltered, feeling strangely intimidated.
"Thought I already explained it." she said. "Jumper ran off with my stuff to wake me up, I chased him here and he hid it all up in a tree. Not my fault this is King Koopa's turf," she shrugged. "Anyway..I'm outta here." Again, she turned to leave.
"Where are you from? What are you?" Kooky asked, approaching her.
"You from the Mushroom Gazette or something?" she asked, cocking a brow skeptically. "I don't give interviews," she said with a toss of her head.
"Err..no. But you do look a little---" he racked his brain for the right word. "...uhh... weird." He wished he could have died on the spot as he heard the word leave his mouth. The girl's eyes narrowed.
"ExCUSE me?" she asked angrily. "Weird? Have ya taken a look in the mirror lately, Mr. I've-never-heard-of-a-hairbrush-and-sound-like-I-have-a-helium-addiction?" she poked a finger angrily at Kooky's snout. "I'm me and I'm from wherever I feel like being from. Got it?"
"No need to get violent about this..." he replied, rubbing at his snout where she had poked it. "I simply inquired--"
"Look, don't push yer luck, kiddo," she growled. Kooky briefly wondered how she could call him "kiddo" when she was a head shorter and looked to be a year younger than he.
"All tresspassers have to be dealt with accordingly," he replied as though he hadn't heard her. "Now surrender quietly or I'll take you by force."
"Let's go then." she replied without hesitation, drawing herself into a fighting stance. Jumper, deciding this would be a good place to make his exit, scuttled off of her shoulder and onto a tree stump nearby to have a better view.
"If you'd just surrender yourself there'd be no need-- UFF!"
Kooky was cut off by a sharp blow to the jaw. He recoiled, placing a hand over the forming bruise across his scales as she grinned. "Thought I'd get more fight out of one of King Koopa's sons." she said smugly.
"How'd you know I was one of Koopa's sons?" he inquired, putting his arms up to shield his face. The response was a jab to the plastron of his shell that made a dull thudding sound and dug into his belly, knocking the wind out of him.
"Practically written all over ya." she smirked as he coughed and tried to catch his breath. "But I didn't think you'd be such a creampuff."
"I wasn't ready." he muttered. "Catch THIS!" Saying so, he took a deep breath and opened his jaws, jetting fire from his throat at her.
"Eep!" she squealed, retreating into her shell as the fire wisked over her, singing the tips of her spikes. Kooky paused, waiting to see if he had hurt her as she re-emerged, looking more than a bit irate. "You---you---" she stuttered, her face a mask of anger. He had time to realize she was running at him before she had knocked him to the ground, struggling to hold him there. Kooky, having had much wrestling experience from fighting with his younger brothers, easily overthrew her and pinned her down, holding her wrists tightly. She struggled a moment and then surrendered, still angry but resigned to her position of defeat. "Well... fine. You've got me. Now what?" she asked as he heaved his weight off of her, still holding onto her wrists.
"You're coming with me." he informed her. From his perch on the stump, Jumper wailed as he watched his mistress being led away from the woods and back towards Koopa Kastle. "What's your name?" he asked, trying to sound tough but still keep up conversation.
"Like it matters?" she snarled. The response was his grip on her wrist tightening and sending a jolt of pain through her arm. "Karma." she winced. "My name's Karma."
"And you're a Koopa?" he asked.
"What else would I be?" she countered.
"A Yoshi trying to pass for a Koopa." he replied.
"If I had a gold coin for every time someone made a comment about THAT..." she muttered. "Look, I'm a halfling, okay? My mom was a Yoshi and my dad was a Koopa."
"What? That's disgusting." he said, wrinkling his nose up in distaste. "A Yoshi? What primitive creatures."
"Love's where ya find it." she shrugged. "And here I am so don't you tell ME it can't happen." Kooky and Karma walked in silence a bit longer. "Would ya loosen up on my wrists a little bit? Your hands hurt," she told him. Kooky soundlessly complied as they crossed over the drawbridge. "And you never told me who YOU were," she added.
"Kooky von Koopa," he told her.
"That's a mouthful," she smiled a little. "How about I call ya Poofball?"
"How about I toss you to the Bob-ombs and forget I ever saw you?" he countered. She quieted down then. Sure, this kid was geeky but he WAS stronger than her.
"So... this is Koopa Castle, huh?" she asked, her eyes skating over the drab gray of the walls and the highly-arched ceiling.
"Yeah. You're going to have to stay in a holding cell for the night and tomorrow the Koopa Court will decide what's to be done with you," he prattled, leading her to a staircase that went down under the castle. Podoboos sat atop torches, lighting them as he grabbed one, still holding Karma's wrist, to guide them safely down the narrow, winding staircase.
"So Kooky, whadda they usually do with intruders?" she asked, her voice echoing off of the walls.
"It can be as simple as a warning or as severe as a beheading. Depends on the court's mood," he replied gravely. "So I would suggest you show my Dad utmost respect tomorrow. He loves other Koopas but hates Yoshis, so you're not going to be able to get on his good side or bad side."
"Ah," she answered simply.
"Where ARE you from anyway?" he reinterated his earlier question as they began their descent on the stairs.
"Used to be from Cookie Mountain." she answered. "There was a couple bands of Koopas that lived there... then some weird fat guy in red pants came through and wiped everyone out. It was crazy," she said, shaking her head.
"I used to own that." he said.
"You? Ohhh... it would make sense then. My Dad was always remarking about how the kook who lived in that castle was always blowin' stuff up or making music that sounded like someone had a weasel in a headlock," she laughed. Ludwig wasn't amused as he stopped at the first cell on the wall and thrust the door open, shoving her inside.
"See you tomorrow." he said through clenched teeth, slamming the door shut.
"Yeah? Well pleasant dreams to you too, jerk!" she snapped, grabbing up the nearest thing she could reach, a skull, and hurling it full force at the cell's door. It shattered upon impact, showering him in bone fragments which he attempted to brush out of his wild blue hair with his clawtips as he walked away, grumbling something about preparing the Boomerang and Hammer Brothers for a morning execution.
***
"Yo Kooky! Who wazzat freak ya just dragged through here?" Roy inquired as Ludwig resurfaced from the dungeon.
"Intruder," he answered quietly. "I found her mucking about in the woods."
"Heh heh... read him the riot act?" Roy asked, pounding a fist into his open palm.
"Her," Kooky corrected. "We'll decide what's to become of her tomorrow."
"Aww man, not anudder one of them court things..." he groaned. "Those eat up ten good minutes of my life I could be spendin' trashin' bozos!" Kooky replied with a shrug as he walked past his brother and returned to his laboratory, nearly slipping and falling in the oil he hadn't cleaned up from before. He reached for a rag and began to mop it up, his mind recalling Karma.
"Stupid female," he growled. "You don't disrespect ME in my own house." Geez, she was funny-looking. He chuckled a bit, wondering how she could possibly have called herself a Koopa. She was far too mismatched and ugly. Well... no, not ugly, he corrected himself. She was pretty strong for a girl. Not like Kootie Pie, who usually resorted to digging her fingernails into his arms to attempt to win fights with him before he overpowered her. Karma had simply bowled him over which was something that no one aside from Bully had succeeded in doing before. Actually, for a Yoshi hybrid, she wasn't too bad-looking either.... "Stop it, von Koopa!" he scolded himself, aloud. "That's the last thing I need right now, to start feeling for the enemy." Some part of his mind gently reminded him she wasn't an enemy... not really. Kooky told that part of his mind to kindly shut up as he finished cleaning up the mess and tossed the rag into the wastepaper bin along with the failed transmogrifier.
His own words from his talk with Hip earlier floated into his mind. "Better start thinking about it soon. It won't be long and you'll HAVE to settle on a wife." He looked about himself at the walls that were lined with inventions and mechanical devices of all sorts. They had kept him happy for so much of his childhood and he was certain they'd keep him happy for much longer. He recalled telling his brothers how he didn't plan to have kids of his own and how getting married would be a waste of time... but for the first time, he began to question his own judgement. Maybe there DIDN'T have to be a trial.... no, NO! He had to stop thinking like that. He decided, quickly, that he needed something to playcate his mind as he found an unfinished invention of his and immediately started to tinker with it.
Bowser's birthday was coming up soon and one of his main complaints had always been that his coffee was too cold in the mornings... so Kooky was inventing a device to keep it hot. Unfortunately, its main drawback was that it made the mug too hot to handle as well. He was working on that minor detail. "Now where's that socket wrench?" he wondered.
***
"Stupid kid." Karma fumed, curling up on the hard floor of the cell. "I was minding my own business... wasn't hurting anybody." She shivered a little as a cold breeze wafted through and chilled her. Outside, a Sledge Brother made the rounds and made sure the prisoners were all in their cells. As he walked past her cell, he raked one of his hammers across the bars, making a loud metallic clinking noise. Karma's eyes narrowed a little as he peered in at her.
"Heh... what a weird creature YOU are!" he chuckled. Karma was about to retort but suddenly had an idea.
"Ooohhhh..." she groaned, keeling forward and clutching her stomach. "Ohhh... I don't feel so good, Mr. Guard." The Sledge Brother looked skeptical.
"Yeah right, and as soon as I open that door to check on ya, you'll run, right?" he asked knowingly.
"Drat!" she thought to herself, but still played it up, hoping she'd have a chance.
"No, I swear... I swear I'm really sick," she broke off into a fit of fake coughing. "Please... let... me... see... a doctor..." she rasped and then pretended to faint, lying perfectly still on the floor of the cell. For a moment there was silence and she feared he hadn't bought her act but then she heard a key in the cell's lock as the door creaked open and the guard strolled in. She was gathered up in strong hands and slung over the guard's shoulder. She made sure to keep her body completely relaxed and her eyes shut as she felt him carry her up the stairs and down a hallway. She was then placed on another cold,hard surface and there was the sound of a door closing. Karma waited a few more moments and then sat up, looking about herself.
She was in a small doctor's office and lying on an examination table. Lining the walls were anatomy charts of Koopas and medical degrees. A flourescent light hummed nearby, X-rays still on it. Written on a piece of paper taped to them was "Cheatsy has a sprained ankle. Prescribed treatment: Bedrest for one day and crutches for a week." The rest of the office seemed silent as she hoisted herself off of the table and quietly made her way to the door, testing the knob. It was unlocked as she gently pushed her shoulder against it and nudged it open.
"Heh... no castle can hold ME!" Karma chuckled to herself as she stepped out into the hallway, free at last as she eyed the numerous doorways, wondering which to try first. She had half a mind to find Kooky and laugh in his face before she made her escape. After all, it was his fault she was here to begin with. He really DID need to start brushing his hair, she thought to herself. She had been a vagrant without a home for nearly a year and she still managed to comb her hair every morning and keep it tamed down from becoming a pouf like his had. Still he was kinda cute... sorta like a puppy you'd want to take home and take care of. Bah, yeah right. Not in THIS lifetime. "If I ever saw him again, I'd punch him right between the eyes," she promised herself, opening the door nearest to her.
She nearly choked as her eyes fell upon a large laboratory, sheets of crumpled music, a piano that had been taken apart for various parts needed to complete inventions, and in the corner a simple four-poster bed with dark blue sheets and a brown wool blanket. Beneath them was Kooky, taking a fitful nap, it looked like. His eyes were closed tightly as though he were wincing as he shifted onto his side and exhaled heavily. His blue hair fanned out over the pillow, the shades of blue almost exactly alike and giving him the illusion he had no hair at all but was sleeping on a very large pillow. Karma struggled not to burst out laughing as she approached and looked at him. He made a tiny whining noise and she dissolved into giggles muffled by her hands. Yes... DEFINATELY like a puppy. There was that feeling again that simply wouldn't allow her to hate him.
He listed onto his other side, his shell poking out from under the covers a little. She reached down and gently fixed it, yawning. It occured to her that she hadn't finished her nap from earlier, thanks to Jumper's little stunt, and was still tired. She smiled to herself, looking at Kooky's bed. Eh...why not? There was easily room for some one else in there. Besides, after throwing her in that dungeon he owed her AT LEAST a soft place to take a nap, she decided as she clambered in beside him and fell asleep almost immediately. Her last musing thought before she drifted off was, "Let's see him explain THIS to whoever walks in."
***
It was nearly two hours before Kooky awoke to the minute beeping of his watch alarm, alerting him that it was fifteen minutes till dinnertime. He didn't feel rested at all... in fact, he was even more tired than he had been before going to sleep, the reason being that his mind had kept churning out scores of odd dreams. In one, Karma dropped from the tree as she had out in the woods but before he had time to react, she had leaned in and kissed him warmly and he hadn't protested. This scene had shifted to his laboratory. He was tinkering with an odd device that he hadn't the faintest memory of inventing and Karma had strolled in.
"Hey." she had said gently. "Finish it yet?"
"Almost." he had heard himself say. "Still needs some adjustments."
"Well...no hurry I guess. We still have a couple more weeks." She had kissed him on the nose and then turned and left. It was then he had awoken to the sound of his watch alarm with a rush of relief. He propped himself up on one elbow and as he reached for the watch to turn it off, he heard some one beside him sigh and turn over. Kooky froze, feeling his insides turn to ice and then, excruciatingly slowly, he turned to see who had invaded his bed. He hoped it might be Playful, the family cat, but it was much too large. Maybe Shadow (Lemmy’s dog)? It was none of the above as his eyes fell on Karma, who was still peacefully slumbering next to him.
He sat, numb with shock, as he wondered what to do. He was beyond screaming in shock, he could shove her out but... nah. Hesitantly, he prodded her with one paw. "Hey," he whispered sharply. Karma groaned and her eyes fluttered open. "How'd you get out of the dungeon?" he asked for lack of better things to say.
"You've REALLY gotta get some smarter guards," she yawned. "Gad... what a dream I was havin'."
"Yeah?" he asked, trying to humor her as he still debated on whether or not to call the guards.
"Yeah... it was like... you and me but we were being NICE to each other." She laughed a little.
"Had the same kind of dream and--- hey, what're you doing in MY bed anyway?" he demanded to know.
"It’s warm and I was tired," she laughed. "Better watch it, Kooky, I'm gonna steal it from ya." She cocooned herself in the covers protectively and grinned.
"I think not," he growled, grabbing the end of the blankets and snapping them, making Karma go tumbling to the floor headfirst.
"Owww... just when I was beginnin' to like you too," she groaned, rubbing the forming lump on her forehead as she got to her feet and charged him.
"Hey, watch it!!" Kooky cried, flailing his arms wildly as her forward motion carried them both into his workbench, sending everything on it raining down upon them. The coffee cup warmer landed squarely in Karma's lap. She examined it, momentarily forgetting about the fight.
"What the heck is this?" she inquired as Kooky wildly grabbed for all of his tools.
"A complicated piece of machinery that you wouldn't understand," he replied indignantly, wondering how he'd ever get this mess cleaned up.
"Hey genius, ya put a size six bolt on the casing instead of a four," she smirked. "That's gonna give ya some trouble if it hasn't already." Kooky gave her a skeptical look as he grabbed the cup-warmer away from her and examined it. She was right... there WAS a size six bolt on the casing.
"How'd you know that?" he asked in disbelief.
"Eh... my Dad designed fortresses and plumbing. I know a thing or two," she shrugged. "But really... I guess I'd better be going."
"Where?" he asked her, looking up from the cup warmer.
"Anywhere," she answered.
"No, I mean, where do you live?" Kooky clarified. She sighed.
"Wherever I feel like. It’s been a good six months since I've had a roof over my head," she told him. "I wandered here from Cookie Mountain and I'll probably wander to the Grasslands from here." Following her last statement, Kooky felt a pang in his chest and felt compelled to tell her not to go. What WAS this odd feeling? He wondered if he might be coming down with something. "Hey... are you getting... you know, strange feelings?" Karma asked him as though she had read his mind. He nodded.
"Must've eaten something bad. That chocolate bar had a weird aftertaste..." he said.
"No... I'm getting them too," she sighed. Better to ask now than never. "Kooky... errmm... has your Dad ever told you about Meeting?"
"When two parties come together?" Kooky asked, confused.
"No. Meeting...as in the BIG Meeting," she said. Kooky thought for a moment and shook his head. "I always thought this was just Yoshi-related stuff, but I guess it goes for all reptiles. Meeting is when two people meet and instantly fall for each other without knowing it and end up getting married once they realize it. Kinda like your mind picking out a mate for you."
"I'm not sure I understand," Kooky replied, cocking a brow at her inquisitively.
"Okay... let's try again. When you're born, your mind kinda sets aside a mental picture of the perfect mate for you later in life. When you meet that person, your mind reaches out to the other person's and makes you sick for each other even if you hate each other. Sound like it’s ringing a bell now?" Kooky's eyes widened.
"So you're saying me and you..." he faltered.
"It might be... I'm not sure., she said, almost regrettably.
"I don't even know you! I'm not going to marry you just because we... ‘met’!" he said defensively.
"Hey calm down," she said gently. "It’s not something you can fight. Might as well just accept it."
"I'll accept nothing!" he cried. "I don't even LIKE you, you hear me? You're a prisoner, not a future wife of mine!"
"Kooky..." she tried to calm him down and placed a hand on his shoulder. He angrily slapped it away. "This would be a lot easier if you'd just face facts. If you refuse it too long, you'll start to get sick."
"Look, I have my life all planned out and it DOESN'T involve family-planning," he said firmly. "That's Kootie Pie and Hip's department, not mine!"
"Guess this means I can look forward to spending the rest of the night in the dungeon, huh?" she asked, glaring at him. He paused a moment, pondering this.
"No..." he said in a defeated voice. "Look, I have to go to dinner. You just stay here," he instructed. Karma gave him a sarcastic salute in reply as he scuttled out of the room.
"I must be crazy," she groaned, flopping out on her back on his bed and staring up at the ceiling that was slightly marred by chemical burns from various failed experiments. Her freedom lay before her and she was throwing it away on one of Bowser's kids. She could understand Kooky's reaction to their Meeting, but it wasn't like it pleased her either. And tomorrow she had to go up in front of the entire Royal Court and face her sentence which would depend on the kind of mood Bowser was in. She only hoped that by then, Kooky's heart would have found itself in the right place.
***
\At dinner, while everyone greedily wolfed down their plates of beef stroganoff, Kooky prodded at his with a fork, his mind elsewhere.
"HEY! I'm talking to YOU, mud-fer-brains!" Bully roared, prodding his older brother with his fork in the shoulder. "Gimme that salt or I'm gonna cave yer face in!" Kooky lurched but obediantly grabbed the salt shaker and slid it to Bully before resuming his dream-like state. Meeting... what a kick in the head. And at HIS age too. He cast a glance up at his parents. Bowser had emptied his bowl and was in the process of licking it clean with his forked tongue while Clawdia eyed her son with a bit of concern.
"Something wrong, Ludwig?" she asked. Kooky inwardly cringed, hating being called by his real name.
"Yeah..." he said quietly, making sure his siblings couldn't hear. "Queen Mom? Can you tell me about "Meeting"?" he asked gingerly, afraid she'd be angry with him. She paused a moment but then nodded, getting up from the table and motioning him to follow her. Once they had gotten out of earshot, she cleared her throat.
"Ludwig, have you Met someone?" she asked, her eyes glistening.
"Yes... well, I think so," he admitted. "But she's... she's not someone Dad's gonna like. I'll tell you that."
"It’s been years since a Koopa's Met anyone," she smiled, ignoring her son's statement. "That's why we've had to resort to marrying within the family lines. Meeting was always so direct... so simple," she said dreamily.
"What does it mean?" Kooky asked, beginning to sound a little desperate.
"Plainly, you'll have to marry this girl and she'll have your children." Clawdia told him, beaming.
"But... but I don't even like her!" he snapped. "Don't I get a say in this?"
"I'm afraid not. And don't worry, you're too young to like her now but you'll change. Is it some one the family knows?" she inquired. "It’s not your cousin Cindy, is it?"
"Err...no. Maybe it would be easier if I just introduced her," Kooky sighed.
"Wonderful! I'll go tell your father!" Clawdia beamed, giving him a quick hug before hurrying back to the table.
"Well of COURSE he met somebody. There's LOTS of new troopers coming through the castle every day. It’s hard NOT to meet-- oh...OH! You mean he MET somebody!" he heard his father say. Kooky winced. So much for keeping Karma a secret. He just had to open his mouth.
"No turning back now..." he sighed, turning on his heel and grudgingly walking back to his bedroom. After a few minutes of coaxing, he managed to get Karma to follow him to the dining hall and held his breath as he heard a unanimous gasp rise from everyone upon seeing Karma. "Mom... Dad... this is Karma," he said meekly, assuming an apologetic stance. "I guess I Met her today and... well... there you have it." He watched as Kootie Pie and Hip immediately began to whisper to one another, giggling and shooting dark glances at Karma. Bowser, however, remained silent as his face took on a red hue.
"IMPOSSIBLE!!! No son of mine's gonna marry a Yoshi!" he roared, his voice vibrating the room.
"HALF Yoshi, thank you," Karma said, turning and showing her shell.
"Heh... if it looks like a Yoshi and talks like a Yoshi, it’s a Yoshi." Cheatsy grinned deviously.
"And yet if she has a shell like a Koopa and hair like a Koopa, she's a Koopa," Kooky countered. For this, Cheatsy had no argument and silenced himself. Big Mouth, however, had yet to get started as he leapt up from his place at the table and ran circles around his brother and Karma.
"Hey Kooky! What'd ya have to go and Meet a Yoshi for? Does Meeting hurt, Kooky? I wouldn't wanna marry a Yoshi because then the kids would be Yoshis and then she'd use that big ol' tongue of hers to eat all the cake at the wedding and everybody would laugh and throw stuff and---"
"Geez, SHUT UP!" Karma shouted above the din he was making as her head began to ache.
"Why cantcha be normal like Hip and Kootie Pie?" Bowser demanded to know. "Marry a relative and keep the bloodline fresh! Outsiders just muddy the koopa name!"
"She... IS... a... Koopa!" Kooky said through clenched teeth, his one exposed fang that overhung his bottom lip glistening dangerously in the dim light.
"Hey, it’s not like I WANNA marry him," Karma spoke up. "It’s not like you can control who you Meet, and if I could, it sure wouldn't be HIM!" she said, giving Kooky a little shove. He narrowed his eyes a bit at her but said nothing.
"Oh, what's wrong? My son's suddenly not good enough for the little mix-up here?" Bowser demanded to know. She continued to glare defiantly at him.
"Umm... given the circumstances, it would appear we don’t have much choice, dear," Clawdia spoke up. "You know as well as I that if Meeting is refused, both parties get very ill. They sometimes even waste away and die."
"I don't care!" Bowser cried. "Guards!!!" Immediately, seven Sledge Brothers filed into the room. "Take that freak of nature away to the cells! She'll be executed at midnight!" The Sledge Brothers wasted no time in apprehending Karma and dragging her away as Kooky watched helplessly.
"And as for you, Kooky, go to your dungeon until I call you! And tomorrow you report to the palace psychiatrist for deprogramming!" he ordered.
"But---" he started to protest, but then sighed heavily and shuffled out of the dining hall.
"It wasn't HIS fault, dear." Clawdia said.
"He brought an outsider into the castle without permission," King Koopa replied simply. "That's grounds for banishment itself. He should be happy to have such a caring father."
"But Koopas aren't outsiders," she argued.
"THAT wasn't a Koopa," he replied. Clawdia sighed, knowing she'd get nowhere with her husband's present mindset.
***
"Uh oh... what're ya in for THIS time?" a Boomerang Brother that guarded Kooky's dungeon inquired, opening the door and escorting him in.
"Insubordination," Kooky answered.
"That's a new one. Didn't blow anything up this time? Didn't make your sister grow an extra arm?" he asked, slamming the door and locking it.
"No," he said dejectedly, seating himself on the wooden bench inside. He supposed he should consider himself lucky to have such a leniant guard. He often had heard horror stories from Cheatsy about how his guard would sometimes throw stones at him for fun and starve him. Even when Kooky had been sentenced to a week in the dungeon with no food, the Boomerang Brother would often slip him SOMETHING to eat when he could.
"So how long? A day?" he asked.
"Just till Dad calls me," the Koopaling answered.
"Ahhh, then you're gettin' off easy this time," the Boomerang Brother grinned.
"Not really," he replied. "I have a feeling Dad's gonna make me watch something I REALLY don't want to see."
"It’s not that big purple dinosaur that goes around hugging kids and saying he loves everybody, is it?" the guard asked warily.
"Worse."
"Can't get much worse than that, kid."
"He's going to make me watch my Met's execution," Kooky told him.
"Met? You? Heh... that'd be the day. You're just a kid still. You have your whole life to worry about that sorta thing," the guard chortled.
"Yeah... heh... ya know, I don't even like her. I just end up missing her greatly when she's not around even though I don't really want to see her again. Are you familiar with that feeling?" he asked.
"If you mean do I feel like that when you're not in your cell, no," the Boomerang Brother replied. "But I guess Meeting is what ya wanna make of it. You can kick and scream all ya want but it’s gonna get you eventually. I think you'd be better off coming to terms with it now and getting to know her. By the time you two are old enough to get married anyway, maybe you'll at least be able to tolerate each other."
"Gonna be kinda hard to do that if Dad gets rid of her." Kooky sighed.
"Your Dad's not gettin' rid of anybody," the guard said firmly after a pause. "And he's probably gonna kill me for this." Before Kooky had time to ask what he meant, there was the sound of a key in the lock and the door to his dungeon swung open. "Kid, I'm not gonna stand in the way of something like this. It’s WAY over my head. I'm gonna give you a ten minute head start and then call a jailbreak alert, got me? If they catch ya and bring ya back, you can't say I didn't give you a chance." Kooky searched the guard's face to see if he was kidding but saw no trace of it.
"Thank you." he said quickly, darting off toward a warp pipe at the end of the hallway. The guard watched him leave and then cast a look at the watch he wore on his wrist.
"One... two... three..." he started counting as the seconds ticked past.
***
Kooky emerged from the pipe in a lava-moated room where various devices of torture had been laid out. He guessed that this was where his Dad would bring Karma when midnight rolled around. All he had to do was wait. The wait was cut short, however, by a familiar voice.
"This way! Stop struggling!" King Koopa said. Kooky ducked low into the pipe, just enough so that he could see what was going on. A moment later, Bowser appeared in the room, followed by two Magikoopas that were clutching Karma. The Koopaling felt his blood boil and shook with anger. "Now... what would be a good way for you to die?" Bowser wondered aloud. "We could toss you to the Bob-ombs..." he suggested, seizing her and dangling her over a pit of bomb creatures that all seemed aching to explode. "Or maybe a Bullet Bill through the chest," he mused, holding her before a currently inactive barrel of a bullet cannon. "Here's a thought. I'll just let my friend Thwomp do all the work." He grinned, dropping her to the ground and holding her there under his foot. She looked up and stifled a scream, seeing a rather large gray thwomp looming above her head.
"Heh heh... ready when YOU are, King Koopa," the stone creature smiled in a gruff voice.
"I can't believe Kooky actually thinks I'm gonna wait and let him watch this," Bowser laughed. "Ah well. He'll get over it. You said so yourself that you didn't like him so its no big loss," he cleared his throat. "Ready...." The Thwomp quivered in anticipation of its target. "Get seeettttt....."
"NO!!!" Kooky screamed, bursting out of the warp pipe and racing against time towards the hybrid about to meet her doom. Before Bowser could slap him out of the way or tell him to move, he had positioned himself directly over her, his head covering hers. The Thwomp wavered uncomfortably, unsure of what to do now.
"Move it or lose it, Kooky!" King Koopa ordered.
"I'll lose it, thanks," Kooky replied firmly. "You might as well give ME a swift death too."
"GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!" Bowser ordered angrily. His son refused to move. "I'll put you in your dungeon for a month! For a year!! No food OR water!"
"She doesn't deserve to die," the Koopaling replied. "If I had come out of MY egg looking strange, would you have killed me?"
"Well I--- I---" Bowser faltered. "That's beside the point! She's a trespasser!"
"You always give trespassers trials. Why is she any different? Just because she's half Yoshi?" Kooky reasoned. He knew his father's patience was starting to wear thin and wasn't sure how much longer his courage was going to hold out.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you LIKED this mutant!" Bowser snarled.
"I love her," Kooky replied, startling everyone who had heard it..even himself. "Maybe I don't know it yet because I'm not old enough, but there's some things you can't be wrong about. And if Meeting is what I understand it to be, then this is what was meant to happen. I may not like it, but I won't deny it and I won't let you kill her without killing me first."
Bowser quivered with rage. How DARE this upstart of a child stand between him and what he desired? Yet.... he just couldn't put one of his own children to death. Somewhere deep in his blackened heart, a fatherly instinct still held him back. "Get up." he said quietly. "Both of you." The Thwomp made a disappointed noise but remained on the ceiling. "A week in the dungeon for the two of you and I HOPE you're planning to fix up a room for her when ya get out, Kooky, because I'm washing my hands of this entire situation!"
"YES!" Karma grinned, lunging forward and hugging Kooky fiercely and then drawing back quickly as though remembering that boys carried all sorts of cooties. He stood, bewildered, and then quietly turned to return to the dungeon just as an escape call was sent out across the palace signaling that his allotted ten minutes were up.
"Okay... if we're gonna have to... you know... get married someday, we're gonna have to lay down some ground rules," Kooky told her out of the corner of his mouth as they walked.
"Oh good, I love this part," Karma grinned evilly and rubbed her hands together.
"Number one, you don't give me any grief about spending all day in my lab."
"Agreed." she nodded. "Number two, we're only having two kids at the most unless one of 'em's born twins or something. I don't want to be an egg brooder."
"Fine with me," he agreed. "Number three, you stay out of my chocolate." Karma burst into laughter.
"Know what's scary?" she inquired. "We're already starting to SOUND like we're married!"
"Geez, I hope not," he groaned as they both leapt into the warp pipe, ready to face their week of punishment.