Locus: In castello Wendae in Terra Aquae
Tempus: Una hora in Septembre VII, MMXXXVIII
Locus I – In Triclinio
(Ludwigus et Servus procedunt)
Ludwigus: Ego sum ieiunus. Ubi sunt dulcia mea?
Servus: Non debes edere. Es latus.
Ludwigus: Es stultus. Interficiam te et tum edam dulcia mea.
Servus: Cave! Ludwigus est iratus. Curre!
(Servus discedit)
Ludwigus: Bene. Nunc possum edere dulcia mea.
(Iggius procedit)
Iggius: Ludwige, te audivi. Edisti prandium meridie. Pater
capiet te si edis nunc.
Ludwigus: Non potes mihi prohibere. Ego sum omnis validus Ludwigus.
Iggius: Es validus, sed possum cruciare te cum Mortono.
Ludwigus: Mortonus?! Quid potest agere?
Iggius: Loquabitur.
Ludwigus: Debes discedere nunc, aut pertundam te.
Iggius: Non timeo, sed agam quod rogavisti.
(Iggius discedit)
Ludwigus: Cupido immotus dulcia mea.
(Ludwigus procedit ad culinam)
Locus II – In culina
(Ludwigus procedit)
Ludwigus: Possum edere toto in aeternum.
(Rex Lemmius procedit, non in pedibus, sed in globo)
Rex Lemmius: Tene, Ludwige. Debebo vertere te in glacia si perstas.
Ludwigus: Lemmi, remanis ex hoc. Debeo edere dulcia mea
Rex Lemmius: Dulcia illa sunt die natalis Royi. Feci ea ipse.
(Iggius et Mortonus procedunt)
Iggius: Monui te, Ludwige.
Rex Lemmius: Bono notio, Iggi. Mortanus potest loqui ad nauseam.
Ludwigus: Ego eum non timeo.
Iggius: Praeclarus. Mortane, amato loquare.
(Iggius et Rex Lemmius evanescunt)
Mortanus: Amo loqui. Possum loqui toto die. Possum iocari,
aut possum narrare fabulas. Amasne araneas?
Amo arbores, et herbas, et canes, et ---
Ludwigus: Tene! Praeclarus, Royus potest habere dulcia eius.
(Ludwigus discedit)
Mortanus: Non discedis. Habeo multa nuntiare.
Locus III – In cubiculo Ludwigi
(Ludwigus procedit)
Ludwigus: Dormiam. Tum non cogitabo de dulcibus.
(Wenda procedit)
Wenda: Ludwige, debes laborare. Debes detergere atrium.
Ludwigus: Non amo laborare. Dormiam.
Wenda: Debes laborare, aut debes discedere.
Ludwigus: Discedo!
Wenda: Bene. Pater cupit atrium detersum esse in una hora.
Royus laborabit tecum.
(Wenda discedit)
Ludwigus: Bene. Royus ludet mecum.
Locus IV – In atrio
(Ludwigus et Royus procedunt)
Ludwigus: Cupio ludere cum pila.
Royus: Non iam sum malus, quam te. Primo laborare debemus.
Ludwigus: Non laborabo! Ludam!
Royus: Si laboramus simul conficiemus celere.
Ludwigus: Ludam nunc!
(Rex Lemmius procedit)
Royus: Rex Lemmi, Ludwigus non laborabit.
Rex Lemmius: Noli vocare me “rex”. Sum Lemmius. Ipso facto,
non vocas me “rex” in scripto.
Vox Auctoris: Non vocabo te “rex”.
Lemmius: Gratias tibi ago. Nunc, Ludwige, pater te puniet si
non laboras.
Ludwigus: Non amo patrem.
(audiunt sonitum magnum)
Vox Regis Pater: Liberi! Convocate!
(Omnes discedunt)
Locus V – In triclinio
(omnes liberi nisi quod Iggius procedunt)
Rex Pater: Convocate, liberi. Vocabo in ordine aetatis.
Ludwige?
Ludwigus: (quietus) Praesens.
Rex Pater: Lemmi?
Lemmius: Praesens, Rex Pater!
(Iggius procedit)
Rex Pater: Roye?
Royus: Praesens!
Rex Pater: Iggi?
Iggius: Praesens! Me paenitet sum tardus.
Rex Pater: Wenda?
Wenda: Praesens!
Rex Pater: M- Minime, video te. Noli respondere.
Larri?
Mortanus: Larrius abest. Serit arborem. Est ---
Rex Pater: Serit arborem?! Larrius capietur.
Wenda et Lemmius: A quo?
Rex Pater: A hostibus nostris, Mario et Luigio. Maturate, debemus
servare eum.
(omnes nisi quod Ludwigo discedunt)
Ludwigus: Non dormiam quod hoc bellum illud erit bonum.
(Ludwigus discedit)
Locus VI – In atrio
(omnes ex locus V nisi Ludwigus procedunt)
Iggius: Noli aperire portam, Rex Pater.
(Marius et Luigius procedunt cum Larro)
Rex Pater: Hostes sunt hic.
(Ludwigus procedit)
Lemmius: Habent potestatem ignis! Liquefaciam!
(Lemmius discedit)
Royus: Wenda, debes discedere etiam. Es infirma.
Wenda: Non sum infirmo. Pugnabo.
Marius: (non in Koopisha) I will rid the land of these enemies.
Iggius: Quod dixit?
Mortanus: Nosco non. Non loquitur Koopisham. Stupidus est
et ---
Omnes: Mortane!
(Marius et Luigius oppugnant igne)
Wenda: Sum infirma. Fugam.
(Omnes liberi nisi quod Ludwigo et Regne Patre discedunt)
Rex Patem: Ignis non potest laedere me. (Marius salit in capite Regis Patris)
Illud potest.
(Rex Pater discedit, et Marius et Luigius oppugnant igne)
Ludwigus: Ego sum omnis validus Ludwigus. Non potest laedere me.
(Ludwigus salit et Marius et Luigius coguntur ex castello)
Vinco.
(Omnes discedunt)
Locus VII – In triclinio
(Omnes nisi quod Mario et Luigio procedunt)
Ludwigus: Cecidi hostes.
Rex Pater: Nos servavisti. Gratias tibi ago.
Larrius: Ita vero, gratias multas tibi ago.
Lemmius: Novi potuisse caedere eos.
Rex Pater: Ludwige, potes edere quodcumque amas.
Ludwigus: Benissime.
Royus: Potest habere dulcia mea. Me paenitet, Lemmi, sed eos
vidi.
Liberi (nisi quod Ludwigo): Debemus habere convivium.
Ludwigus: Bene, sed omnia dulcia sunt mea.
Omnes: (Rident)
Ludwig can be Good
Place: In Wendy’s castle in Water Land
Time: One o’ clock on September 7, 2038
Scene 1 – In the Dining Room
(Ludwig and Servant enter)
Ludwig: I am hungry. Where are my sweets?
Servant: You should not eat. You are wide.
Ludwig: You are foolish. I will kill you, and then I will eat
my sweets.
Servant: Beware! Ludwig is mad. Run!
(Servant leaves)
Ludwig: Good. Now I can eat my sweets.
(Iggy enters)
Iggy: Ludwig, I heard you. You ate lunch at noon. Dad will
punish you if you eat now.
Ludwig: You can’t stop me. I am the all-powerful Ludwig!
Iggy: You are powerful, but I can torture you with Morton.
Ludwig: Morton?! What can he do?
Iggy: He will talk.
Ludwig: You must leave now, or I will punch you.
Iggy: I am not afraid, but I will do as you ask.
(Iggy leaves)
Ludwig: I still want my sweets.
(Ludwig advances into the kitchen)
Scene 2 – In the Kitchen
(Ludwig enters)
Ludwig: I can eat forever.
(King Lemmy enters, not on foot, but on a ball)
King Lemmy: Stop, Ludwig! I will have to turn you into ice if
you persist.
Ludwig: Lemmy, stay out of this. I must eat my sweets.
King Lemmy: Those sweets are for Roy’s birthday. I made them
myself.
(Iggy and Morton enter)
Iggy: I warned you, Ludwig.
King Lemmy: Good idea, Iggy. Morton can talk to the point of
disgust.
Ludwig: I am not afraid.
Iggy: Fine. Morton, please talk.
(Iggy and King Lemmy disappear)
Morton: I love to talk. I can talk all day. I can tell jokes
or I can tell stories. Do you like spiders? I like trees
and grass and dogs and---
Ludwig: Stop! All right, Roy can keep his sweets!
(Ludwig leaves)
Morton: Do not leave! I have much more to say.
Scene 3 – In Ludwig’s Bedroom
(Ludwig enters)
Ludwig: I will sleep. Then I will not think about sweets.
(Wendy enters)
Wendy: Ludwig, you must work. You must clean the front room.
Ludwig: I don’t like to work. I will sleep.
Wendy: You must work, or you must leave.
Ludwig: I am leaving.
Wendy: Good. Dad wants the front room to be clean in one hour.
Roy will work with you.
(Wendy leaves)
Ludwig: Good. Roy will play with me.
(Ludwig leaves)
Scene 4 – In the Front Room
(Ludwig and Roy enter)
Ludwig: I want to play ball.
Roy: I am no longer bad, like you are. We must work first.
Ludwig: I will not work. I will play.
Roy: If we work together, we will finish quickly.
Ludwig: I will play now!
(King Lemmy enters)
Roy: King Lemmy, Ludwig will not work.
King Lemmy: Do not call me “king”. I am Lemmy. In fact,
don’t call me “king” in the script.
Voice of Author: I will not call you “king”.
Lemmy: Thank you. Now, Ludwig, Dad will punish you if you do
not work.
Ludwig: I do not like Dad.
(They hear a loud noise)
Voice of King Dad: Children, come together!
(All leave)
Scene 5 – In the Dining Room
(Enter King Dad)
King Dad: Come, children. I will call you in order of age. Ludwig?
(All children except Iggy enter)
Ludwig: Here.
(Mumbling)
King Dad: Lemmy?
Lemmy: I am here, King Dad!
(Iggy enters)
King Dad: Roy?
Roy: Here!
King Dad: Iggy?
Iggy: Here! Sorry I was late.
King Dad: Wendy?
Wendy: Here!
King Dad: M- No, I see you. Do not answer. Larry?
Morton: Larry is not here. He is planting a tree. He is---
King Dad: Planting a tree?! Larry will be captured.
Wendy and Lemmy: By whom?
King Dad: By our enemies, Mario and Luigi. Hurry, we must save
him.
(All but Ludwig leave)
Ludwig: I will not sleep because this fight will be interesting.
(Ludwig leaves)
Scene 6 – In the Front Room
(All from Scene 5 except Ludwig enter)
Iggy: Do not open the door, King Dad.
(Mario and Luigi enter with Larry)
King Dad: The enemies are already inside.
(Ludwig enters)
Lemmy: They have fire power! I will melt!
(Lemmy leaves)
Roy: Wendy, you should leave, too. You are weak.
Wendy: I am not weak. I will fight.
(Not in Latin)
Mario: I will rid the land of the enemies.
Iggy: What did he say?
Morton: I don’t know. He doesn’t speak Latin. He is stupid
and---
All: Morton!
(Mario and Luigi attack with fire)
Wendy: I am weak. I will run.
(All children except Ludwig leave).
King Dad: Fire can not hurt me.
(Mario jumps on King Dad’s head)
That can.
(King Dad leaves, Mario and Luigi attack with fire)
Ludwig: I am the all-powerful Ludwig. You can not hurt me.
(Ludwig jumps, Mario and Luigi and forced out of castle)
I win.
(All leave)
Scene 7 – In the Dining Room
(All but enemies enter)
Ludwig: I beat the enemies.
King Dad: You saved us. Thank you.
Larry: Yes. Thanks a lot!
Lemmy: I knew he could beat them.
King Dad: Ludwig, you may eat whatever you like.
Ludwig: Great!
Roy: He can have my sweets. Sorry, Lemmy, but I saw them.
All children but Ludwig: We should have a party.
Ludwig: Good idea, but all the sweets are mine.
All: (laugh)
The End
Vale