Dagger: Promise me that you’ll come back

Zidane: Fine whatever, I promise! Now go away and leave me to find my bro

Zidane quickly legs it and enters the Iifa tree

Zidane: Kuja! Where the hell are you?!?

Unfortunately, the Iifa tree starts to shake and leafy monsters chase Zidane

Zidane: Oh shit! I’m gonna regret coming here…

Zidane slides along the roots of the tree and goes round in loops, just like Sonic the hedgehog! After a while he makes it to Kuja safely…

Zidane: Finally, I made it!

He approaches Kuja

Zidane: Get up Kuja. We both get outta here alive…I didn’t risk my bloody life for nothing!

Kuja: Sorry, but I don’t deserve to live. For all that I’ve done…just leave and go away without me

Zidane: Stop being such an arse and get up! You’re my bro right? So you gotta come with me….

Kuja: No, please….just go and leave me here

Zidane: Ahh come on! And anyway, I’ll take you to see Garland’s grave if you come

Kuja: Okay, I’ll come if you put it that way….

Kuja slowly gets up. And both genomes here the voice of Garland from some sorta telepathic link (basically, the old geezer is pissed)

Garland’s voice: Bastards….I won’t let you get away with this…

Kuja: Shut up you old twat! I’m gonna come to your grave and that’s final!

Garland’s voice: Fine…whatever you wish. It’s not that I can stop you anyway…

Garland disappears and Kuja looks at Zidane about to say something…

Kuja: Anyway Zidane, how do you plan on getting outta here?

Zidane: A-ha! I’ve come prepared…just watch me, I’ve got everything sorted..

Zidane takes out some weed killer. Kuja doesn’t seem impressed…

Zidane: We’re gonna kill this tree and leg it to Alexandria! How’s that?

Kuja: Are you sure? Looks like a crap plan to me….

Zidane: Shut up and watch! I’m a genius…I can never go wrong!

Zidane spreads weed killer all over the floor, hoping the tree will melt or something like that!

** 5 MINUTES LATER**

Nothing has happened…and Zidane is screwed

Zidane: Oops…err Kuja?

Kuja: Yes?

Zidane: Have YOU get a plan….it seems that I’ve gone wrong somewhere…

Kuja: Step aside rookie, heh, I always knew you were a worthless piece of crap!

Kuja casts the Ultima spell on the Iifa tree and blows it up! However, he injures himself and also hurts Zidane in the process

Zidane: Man, why did you go and do that for? Don’t you know that my backside it starting to ache now?

Kuja is lying on the floor, he looks as if he’s stoned

Zidane: Hey!!! Don’t you go dying on me Kuja!

Kuja dies

Zidane: Bastard, I told you not to die.

Zidane looks around. He doesn’t know what the hell to do and seems like a lonely child….with a tail sticking outta his arse!!

Zidane: Oh yeah, now I remember…

Zidane pulls out the Moogle’s flute and starts playing it

. Moguo, the moogles, comes flying to Zidane…

Moguo: If you play that crap tune again, I swear I’m gonna kick your arse!!

Zidane: Sorry, err…can I get a ride to Alexandria? You know, on your back….I’m kinda lost

Moguo: No, but I was you. I’d go and take a boat to Lindblum….Stiener is blocking the gates of Alexandria castle with his big fat arse!

Zidane: Okay, I guess I’ll meet up with my Tantalus crew….and I hope Baku lets me join them again! He’s been acting like an arsehole lately…

Moguo: Okay then, laters! And make sure you don’t play that crap tune again! Or I’ll shove the flute up your arse!!!

Moguo flies off

Zidane takes a boat to Lindblum

The End