Chapter 1: Slings And Arrows Of An Outrageous Fortune

The sky was a shade of magenta and crimson, with golden clouds strung across for an added affect. As the sun slowly set beneath the oceans, shadows loomed over the horizon and the many peaks of Mount Nibel, casting a wave of darkness over the isolated town of Nibelheim.

And inside that town, Tifa was alone.

Tifa sat slouched over her desk, unaware of the stunning scene outside her home. All the energy she had-or what was left of it- was focused on the blank walls of her kitchen, her planet saving mission, and how it had taken a turn for the worst. After the defeat of Sephiroth everything had gone back to normal, save for the fall of the Shinra and the destruction of Mideel. Yes, everything was just as how it was before AVALANCHE came together.

For example, Cloud was nowhere to be found.

And she never even saw it coming.

Naturally, she had thought that with Sephiroth out of the way Cloud and herself would become closer together. After all, they had been through hell and back together, and through it all , even when everyone thought he was going insane, even when sunk into the deepest of madness, she put back together Cloud's twisted psyhce and stood by his side when no one else would. Plus, without Jenova in the world, and without Shinra no longer in control, peace once again reigned. Everyone was happy. Well…almost everyone.

Right after meteor, they moved in to Tifa's old home together and tried to rebuild their lives

So…why was she alone?

Instead of becoming closer, their relationship slowly fell apart. Within weeks Cloud left Nibelheim claiming that he had to "find himself". Tifa knew that was BS He wasn't looking for himself.

He was looking for the one thing he would never find.

Aeris.

The name was like a curse. She was the person that, even in death, always managed to win Cloud's love. Yet still, while they didn't always see eye to eye on certain things, she could never learn to hate Aeris.

In a sense, Tifa owed her life to Aeris, along with everyone else on the planet.

She couldn't understand why everyone lost contact with her, much less the occasional phone call. What did she do wrong?

She had always tried to excel at everything she did. Whether it'd be friendship, fighting or anything else, she always gave her best. Even at the earliest of age all she cared about was pleasing her parents and those around her. Tifa figured as long as she did all she could to please everyone and make them happy, everything would be alright.

After her mother's death, her father's priorities came before hers, and second to that, the boys she hung out with. This caused her to do things that sometimes put her own welfare in question.

And because the whole town hated Cloud, she never saw him until that night at the wall.

She even played the role of Avalanche's "cheerleader" and always made sure everyone was in good spirits.

So why am I alone? She asked herself.

After purchasing the bar and meeting up with AVALANCHE, Tifa did all she could. Failing to learn from past mistakes, she thought that if she could keep everyone happy, she would never have to be alone again.

She was alone now. And for what?

The only one who came to visit at all was Vincent. After living the first few months as a wandering nomad, he moved into the Shinra Mansion. And even then, he only dropped by occasionally to check up on her.

Slowly, but surely, the spirit of Tifa Lockheart began to wither away.

Who was she now? She wasn't "daddy's little girl" anymore, she wasn't a battle hardened warrior, and she sure as hell wasn't maintaining the status of "bright and optimistic" either. That side of her seemed to die when Sephiroth did, along with her dreams, heart and soul.

How about a broken soul who's one reason for living was in the hands of a man who didn't even know himself?

Did he even care if she fell off the face of the earth?

Who was Tifa, really?

Who am I? This was the enigma that plagued her like a nightmare she could not wake up from. A question she could not answer. A thought she could not push away.

The tears finally came, unbidden and unwanted, running cold along with the empty abode inside her that no one, not even Cloud, could fill. She hated crying, even when no one was around. She never wanted anyone to see just how weak Tifa could really be. After all, she was always the "battle hardened Tifa" who was "different" because the rest of AVALANCHE thought she could not feel pain. Indeed she had lost her innocence in battle, learning how to kill, how to destroy, but she hadn't lost her emotions.

Sometimes she wished she had

She had always acted the way everyone had wanted her to, strived to meet their standards, and tried to be everything to everyone.

But what had that gotten her?

A sensation befell her, a wind. It was a cold wind, one that blew right through her heart. She stood up from the seat she was sitting on and walked across the room. With nimble fingers she shut the window, running another hand through her mahogany hair in the same motion

As she sat back down the tears that had run cold with sorrow now ran hot with anger. At Sephiroth, Shinra, Cloud, and everyone in between.

Tifa almost laughed at the irony of it all.

Bitter irony, isn't that what they called it? Cloud had said he tried to prove himself to Tifa as a child, got nothing out of it. Yet it was flattering to say the least. The very least.

And since the day Avalanche was formed, she had tried to do the same.

So how does it feel Tifa? She could imagine Cloud spitting those words at her, sinking in to her heart like poisonous venom .

She could try to move on, but what was the point? As far as the world was concerned, she didn't exist. She risked her life for the lives of others and the welfare of her friends without much to show for it. She wasn't famous, she wasn't praised, instead she seemingly disappeared into the shadows and resided in a town few even knew of.. Now she was alone, wallowing in self doubt, self pity, waiting for Cloud like a lost puppy, and trying to recover the true identity of the woman by the name of Tifa Lockheart.

Slowly, almost groggily, she climbed the stairs to her room, switched off the light and crawled into bed. She stretched and set her arms behind her head. Closed her eyes, and she waited.

Waited for an absolution that would never come.

God, it hurt. Hadn't she been hurt enough already? And the pain would not disappear, it would not it would not lessen. And in the times it WOULD fade, it somehow managed to catch up with her. Teasing, mocking her, like sadistic laughter that rang through her ears endlessly. A bitter, most unwelcome reminder that no matter what she did, she would always end up alone. Had everything she'd done been so wrong? Why did this fate befall her? Why was life always so cruel?!

Tifa cried herself to sleep that night.

***

Author's Note: Well, that's chapter one folks. Don't pass this off as another Tifa-moaning-for-Cloud fic, it's not. I'm trying to stay away from that category.

In chapter 2 Vincent will come into play and things will take an "interesting" turn…

And yes, that one line was from Titanic. Sorry, but as UC would say, think of it as tribute, not plagiarism.