Wild ARMs: Off on a Tangent
By: Chibi-chan
Part 12: “Three Is a Tragic Number”
*
In Mother’s room in the Photosphere, the Quarter Knights were having a discussion. “The humans got Belselk,” Lord Harken stated.
“He always was a disappointment,” Emma said, not sounding the least bit surprised. “Still, with his powers and Hanpan’s combined, there should have been no way those humans could have won.”
Zeikfried turned to Emma. “You obviously overestimate the value of that useless drudge Hanpan. He’s all talk, even more so than Belselk was,” the head knight said.
Mother laughed. “Oh my, Zeiky, you always did demand nothing less than perfection. This is why I am replacing Belselk with someone more competent so our plans to mobilize soon will still go smoothly,” she declared. “Child, come on out!” At this command, Calamity, followed by the male aspect of Lucied, entered the room.
The three knights looked at Mother as if they wondered what color of crack she had just smoked. “Her, Mother? But she’s… she’s… she’s utterly insane!” Zeik protested.
Calamity crossed her arms and “hmph”ed. “Like you’re the picture of perfect mental heath, Oedipus,” she remarked.
“Shouldn’t that be more like ‘Irving Valeria’, Calamity?” Lord Harken said back, then a little confused. The blond warrior was then grabbed by the cape and pulled to Zeik. “Er, so I’ve heard, anyway. Something about ‘Hanpan being good for one thing’…” he backpedaled, putting his foot in his mouth even more. He soon found himself greeting the wall in a rather painful manner.
Hanpan, who was eavesdropping on the conversation, thought, Can’t defend himself from that, so he resorts to violence as always…
“Anyway, that is Belselk’s replacement, and if you don’t like it, you can… oh, what’s the word I’m looking for?” Mother said.
“Shove it?” Hanpan called out without thinking. He paused and considered getting out of there. Although that would be wiser, he decided to stand his ground and added, “No, that’s something Zeikfried likes to do anyway.” Shortly thereafter, the one he had just smarted off about dragged him into the room by the tail. “Oh, want an audience this time? Your tastes get stranger all the time, Zeik.”
Zeikfried slapped Hanpan across the face, nearly knocking the latter’s glasses off. “How hard is it for you to learn to respect your betters?!”
Hanpan looked around and replied, “Ah, but I’ve learned that all too well, and when I find my betters, I’ll respect them.” He got slapped again.
Lord Harken, having peeled himself off the wall and regaining most of his senses, asked the oft-mistreated mouse boy, “Wouldn’t it be wiser if you, oh, I don’t know, stopped back-talking to the second-in-command?”
Hanpan adjusted his glasses, then shook his head. “Nah, this kind of thing has gone on for so long I’ve actually started to enjoy it in a perverse sort of way.”
Zeik glared at the impudent creature before him. “Well then, unless you want more ‘enjoyment’, I suggest you go and do something useful,” he said.
The mouse boy blinked. “But sir, I can’t tie myself up-“ he started before ducking another swipe from Zeik and taking his leave quickly.
Zeik put his hand on his forehead and muttered, “Why, oh why do I keep that fool around here?”
“Because you have an Irving complex?” Lord Harken suggested before meeting the wall again at Zeikfried’s hands.
*
Innocent One, Stoldark said, you must hurry! They have plans to mobilize soon!
“Eh? Mobilize?
Mobilize what?” the prince asked the Guardian.
The
circle of light. Once they are on the
move, there… Stoldark’s voice faded
to nothingness.
“Stoldark? Stoldark, are you there? What happened? STOLDARK!”
*
Meanwhile, on the ship “Sweet Candy”…
James took a break from sorting the treasures he had taken from the Volcannon Trap and finally gave the cabin he was in a good look-over. Cecil’s “hubby” sure treats his darling’s friends right, he thought. To apologize for putting Cecil and company through the wedding ordeal, dear old Captain Bart arranged for them to be in the best cabins on the entire ship, next to his own, without any additional charges.
The young man then heard a knock at his door. Who could it be at this hour? He thought. Nevertheless, he called out to the one behind the door, “Who is it?”
“Me. Please open up; this is urgent!” the voice of Cecil responded shakily.
James, finding himself becoming uneasy due to the prince’s tone of voice, let the blond boy in. “Urgent? How ‘urgent’? And why not go to Elmina instead?” he asked.
“Tried her first. No good. She sleeps like a log that OD’ed on tranquilizers,” Cecil said, shaking his head. “She’ll have to wait ‘til morning. Anyway, I gotta repeat this to someone before I start forgetting parts.” He found a chair and sat down in it. “Stoldark… he said they were getting ready to mobilize… then he mentioned a circle of light… and then, before he could finish the sentence about it, his voice… Something’s wrong. Something’s very wrong.”
Indeed there is, the bounty hunter thought, I may not have known you for long, but I know you’re not shaken that easily… “What happened to his voice, Cecil?” he said and he put a hand on Cecil’s shoulder.
The prince regained enough composure to answer. “It faded out completely, and I get the feeling it’s not coming back anytime soon.” He looked up at James and said, “Time’s running out, and now one of our only sources of information has been silenced. I… I don’t know if I can handle all this.”
“You’ll have to anyway,” James told him, “We all will. That’s the only way…”
Cecil blinked and asked, “We?”
The bounty hunter, realizing what he had just said, stepped away and tried to look aloof again. “Er, yeah, ‘we’… Eheh, I don’t have anything better to do for a while now and if the world gets destroyed or something I’ll have no place to keep my stuff, so I think I’ll just hang around you guys a while longer,” he tried to cover with but still ending up looking like he actually gave a damn about the others.
Cecil, never one to pass up a free shot at anyone, rose from his seat, slung an arm around James’s shoulder, and purred, “Well, gosh, I never knew you cared.” He fluttered his eyelashes after speaking for extra effect.
James pushed the smart aleck prince away and grumbled, “I hate you; you know that?”
The blond boy grinned and said, “Damn straight. That’s one reason why you’re fun to tease.”
“What’s the other?” the darker-haired boy asked.
“You fight back,” Cecil said. He then quickly pulled part of James’s hair and fled the room.
“You like me fighting back, eh? Well, I won’t disappoint you!” the bounty hunter called out before chasing the source of his annoyance.
*
While the prince and bounty hunter started making quite a ruckus through the hallways, Elmina was still very much dead to the world in her slumber. Her mind, however, was still very much busy, as it was rummaging through and replaying events from her past…
*
“Your
party was wiped out too, Elmina?” a now-familiar blond man by the name of
Garrett asked a somewhat younger Elmina.
Garrett’s party, which had been pared down in the attack to himself, his
friend and fellow knight Ryan, the chief knight Coldbird, and the brother of
the recently deceased king, whose name is unknown so I’ll just call him George,
had just reached the room where the “cocoon” was kept. The “cocoon” was rumored to be the earthly
remains of the Demon Queen. That rumor
seemed to have some merit, since it was the Metal Demons of yore that were
attacking the castle.
Elmina
nodded. “Yeah, but I managed to get
away. The ‘Sword Princess’ cannot be
defeated so easily, you know,” she said, trying to keep Garrett more at ease
since she then sported a rather apparent and most likely painful wound on her
leg.
An axe
suddenly came out of nowhere and embedded itself at Ryan’s feet. “What the…” the knight managed to get out
before getting vaporized through some sort of magic.
One of
the demons appeared before the remaining humans. It looked rather like a scorpion cosplaying as a Gali from
Monster Rancher because of the sheet and gold mask it wore. It asked for the cocoon and the brother of
the king, wanting nothing more but to live, said the demon could take it if he
could still live. George was soon
dead. “I’m sorry, all I can give you is
a ‘Painless Death’. Now, if you had
offered me a cappuccino machine, I could have worked something else out,” the
demon said in a vaguely female voice.
*
Elmina woke up abruptly, startling the little Wind Mouse that had nested himself in her hair. “Had a dream about the fall again, Elmina?” Zed asked.
“Yeah, I did,” she replied. “Garrett, Chief, Ryan… If only there had been something I could do…”
“It wasn’t your fault. They were just too strong for us back then,” Zed told her, “But don’t worry; this time we’ll stop ‘em, and they won’t do anything like that again!” The mouse did a little heroic pose, and added, “Nothing can stop Zed the Wonder Mouse and his sidekick Elmina!”
“Sidekick…?” Elmina muttered, “Some ego you got there, mousie.”
*
Elsewhere, Laine kept herself busy. “Professor Allison?” she asked as she knocked on the professor’s door. This time, she stepped to the side of the door so she wouldn’t fall in or get knocked back. Unfortunately, she didn’t pay attention to where the hinges were and ended up getting smacked by the out-swinging door.
“Eheh, oops,” Allison said as soon as Laine stepped out from behind the door. “What is it that you want, little one?”
“Let me in and I’ll explain…” the girl said.
*
The group had finally arrived at Tripillar at about the same time (What, you thought I’d give away Laine’s plans so soon?). A stone tablet with writing to the effect of “Split up, kiddies, if you wanna find the path to the Blue Virtue,” stood before them.
“Guess we gotta separate here, kids,” Elmina said.
“Yep,” Boomerang replied.
“Er… maybe it’s a trick…” Cecil said, not in any hurry to be alone in a tower that presumably had monsters wandering about.
“Nope,” Zed said, reading the fine print on the tablet, “It says right here, ‘This is not a trick.’ It also says, ‘Separating here at Tripillar, you waive our responsibility for any and all losses of life, limb, or loved ones. Copyright 1003 Naga Industries, All Rights Reserved.’” The mouse paused, then muttered, “What’s a copyright?”
Cecil took a defensive pose and said as steadily as he could, “And you believe them?” He then felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Kid, if you’re worried about being on your own, don’t be. You’ll be fine as long as you’re careful,” Elmina said in a surprisingly motherly tone that seemed to soothe the worried prince.
“You’d better not die on us, senshi boy,” Boomerang found himself saying, “You’d just make Elmina sad if you did.”
Summoning his confidence, he turned to the bounty hunter. “Heh, I have no plans on dying anytime soon,” he said, “And you’d better not die either, or Laine’ll have no one to yell at when she comes back.”
*sigh* Is it a guy thing or a rival thing that keeps them from saying they’re worried? Elmina thought. “What, am I not good enough to tell not to die for some reason or another?” she asked.
“You? Die? Nah, you’re gonna make it through here just fine, ‘Mina!” Cecil said in absolute sincerity. “But in the event you do, can I keep Zed?”
The Wind Mouse glared as menacingly as a cute furry creature could. “You make it sound like I’m a damn pet or something, boy.”
Cecil picked up the mouse and apologized. “I know, I know, but if you were, you’d be the coolest pet ever.”
Zed pondered that for a moment, unaware that the group had begun splitting up. “HEY! Wait for me!” he cried upon realization that Elmina was leaving without him.
*
“You? Die? Nah, you’re gonna make it through, ‘Mina!” I wish I had as much faith in my abilities as you do, kiddo, Elmina thought as she began her venture to do… whatever the heck she was supposed to do there.
“Monsters, ten o’clock!” Zed cried.
“Gotcha, mousie!” she replied, drawing her sword…
*
I can’t blow this; ‘Mina has faith in me and I’ll never hear the end of it from Jamie if I do… was the thought running though the prince’s mind as he started his sub-quest. Almost immediately, a centaur-like mix of a knight and a spider attacked him from behind with very little warning. If not for a quick movement by Cecil, the prince would have been killed without any chance to fight back. As it was, the monster still was able to inflict a fairly deep cut on the left side of Cecil’s back and part of his arm.
Without thinking, the boy grabbed the first attack spell Crest Graph he could get at and used it. A bolt of purple lightning struck the beast and with a final scream, it died. Cecil dropped to his knees and muttered before looking for the graph with the Heal spell, “This ain’t gonna be easy, is it?”
*
He’s alone… A weak person like him shouldn’t be going off alone into danger… Elmina’ll be fine; she’s strong enough to handle this, but Cecil… Boomerang thought as he caught the weapon that gave him his nickname upon it return from sending one of those knight/spider monsters to an early demise. His companion, the female aspect of Lucied, had come to join him but hadn’t had anything to do as of then. “Luci? Could you do something for me?” the bounty hunter asked. The black wolf looked up at him as if to ask, “What do you want?” Boomerang took a moment to set aside some of his pride, then said, “Please, look after him instead.” He received a knowing look from Lucied before the wolf did as he asked. You shouldn’t be alone in here, Cecil. I just hope the assistance doesn’t hurt your confidence…
*
Such assistance was needed, for the prince was pinned by a monster and his staff was the only thing between him and the monster’s weapon (a giant wrench). This day just goes from bad to worse… he thought. Without any sort of warning, Cecil soon found the monster was away from him. He looked to the side to find that a familiar black wolf had dispatched the creature that had threatened him moments before. “Lucied?” he asked.
The young master bid me to your side, Innocent One, the guardian said directly to his mind, He thought you needed my help more than he did.
“Don’t tell this to him, but I think he’s right,” Cecil said, trying to recover from his latest close call.
Of course I will not, child; I have no wish to
embarrass you without good cause, Lucied
assured him.
*
“I’m telling you, Zed, the statue’s talking to me!” Elmina insisted. She was standing next to a life-sized statue of a knight that had been placed on a platform. She poked the statue and said, “Go on, talk to the mouse!”
Zed shook his head. “Elmina, you’ve lost it this-“
Hello, mouse.
The mouse slowly turned his head towards the statue. “It… it TALKED!” he cried, gawking at the statue with one of those “What the holy heck…?!” expressions.
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, mousie! It talked to me and mentioned teaching me a new sword technique!” Elmina said, a little annoyed it took so long to get Zed to believe her story.
Zed blinked. “But it can’t move. How can it teach a sword technique if it can’t demonstrate it?”
Like this. Four little volleyball-shaped monsters appeared before the pair. This is lesson one. Begin!
“Some teaching methods… reminds me of your old science teacher, Elmina,” Zed muttered.
*
Boomerang finally reached the end of his path. Before him stood a gargoyle-like statue. In the hands of the beast statue was a blue orb that glowed when the boy came closer to it. He waited a moment, then thought out loud, “Now what?”
*
Cecil saw the exact same sight before him as he got to the end of the path. “This is it?! All this work and there’s nothing here but a stupid statue?! What the hell did we split up for if there’s nothing here?! I had to be left alone for nothing?! This sucks!” he ranted.
*
Again, Elmina saw the same sight as the others. “Hey, what’s this do?” *KICK!*
*
*POOF!*
*
The trio found themselves back at the entrance. Silence ensued as they looked around and to each other to figure out what happened.
Elmina noticed something different. “Say, was that door open before?” she said, pointing out a wide-open doorway just beyond the stone tablet.
“I don’t think it was…” Boomerang said.
“We… we went through all that JUST to open one damn door?! I nearly got killed twice just to open that door?! What the HELL, man?!?” Cecil complained loudly as the others started through the door.
Boomerang stopped and turned to the prince. “You coming or what?”
“Well, yeah, if you’ll just give me a moment, sheesh…” the blond boy continued to complain…
*
Laine was hanging partway over the rails of yet another ship. “There has got to be a better way to travel…” she groaned.
Next to her, Professor Allison was doing the same thing. “I’m workin’ on it… if only I had my old mentor’s notes, I might be able to finish it…”
“I don’t know about your mentor, but I picked up a book about flight my grandfather wrote a while back from his old laboratory if that helps any…” Laine told her.
“Oh? Who was your grandfather?”
“Zepet Roughnight.”
Allison froze for a moment. “That’s my old mentor!” she exclaimed. Forgetting her seasickness and Laine’s, she grabbed the girl by the shoulders and, without realizing it, started shaking her. “Why didn’t you TELL me you knew Zepet?!”
“You-ou-ou-ou-ou di-i-i-i-i-dn’t a-a-a-a-a-a-sk…” the poor girl replied, “No-o-o-o-w ple-e-e-ease st-o-o-o-p sha-a-a-a-aki-i-i-i-ng me-e-e-e…”
Allison realized what she was doing and stopped. “Oh, sorry, got carried away there, heheh.”
*
“How the hell did that thing fit in that small box?” Cecil muttered to himself as he sat on the floor. The group had just scored a victory over a multi-tailed fox that had claimed the Blue Virtue as its own treasure, adding to the day’s strain that was starting to take its toll on the comparatively weak (in terms of physical attributes) Crest Sorcerer. If one looked closely, one could see that some random strands of his hair had turned white.
“This looks like the picture in the book…” Boomerang muttered, looking at a blue gem that had been in the box Cecil had just mentioned.
“Cool, then let’s get outta here,” Elmina said. “Get up, princey, we’re leavin’!”
Cecil turned his head and looked up at the warrior woman. “If you want me to move from this place, you’re gonna have to carry me,” he said plainly. He soon found himself lifted off the ground. However, it was the other member of the party doing the carrying, not Elmina. “Eh?! Jamie?”
“Anything to get out of here before the next ice age,” the bounty hunter told him. He paused, then added, “Sheesh, you’re heavier than you look.”
Cecil considered telling the guy what for, but decided against it since he didn’t want to be dropped in retaliation or, for that matter, have to walk any more for the day. Later, he thought.
*
Mistress, the Innocent One worries me. I fear he may not be strong enough to go up against your brother.
“He is still learning. He will be strong enough when the time is right; I just know it. Besides, with one of the former Fenril Knights and my child with him, how could he lose?”
*
End
Chibi’s notes:
What’s Laine up to? What’s up with Jamie there? How much does the voice know? How the hell did I come up with a Zeik/Hanpan pairing? The first three questions will be answered eventually, but I’m still wondering about that last one. *scratches her head* I know I wasn’t drinking, smoking, or taking anything funny when I wrote that, nor was I sleep-deprived, so how…?
Rudy: Because you’re a happy little lunatic and that’s a happy little lunatic thing to do?
… good enough.