A Tunnels and Trolls® play-by-post adventure run by khara_khang
"Goblin. This where we get off, or we wait?"
The princess looks at Jamara in thought. "I think we were supposed to offer three fish before going onto the beach, if I remember rightly. Yup, we were, and beyond that entrance is the King's realm."
Still seated beside the princess in the Swan Boat, Shipy says, "Duh! Now's a good time to tell us." The Hobbit looks toward Glarghj’naslk’ncdl’n [sic], then toward Fuzz. "Why do we always get stuck with all the goofy-looking creatures?"
Three huge Sand Worms burst out of the sand at the same time, showering everyone with sand. Over twenty feet long and with mouths bigger than a person, the white-skinned creatures attack with amazing speed. In one motion, one of the Sand Worms tilts its head back and swallows Amroth whole. Amroth disappears inside its round toothy mouth. [Amroth takes 10 hits off his CON due to acid and his cursed ring.] The second Sand Worm attacks Stark but misses. The third attacks Blodwydd, also missing her.
What do you do?
"Duh! Now's a good time to tell us."
"And when did you ask?!?" Jamara barks back at Shipy, jumping out of the boat and swinging her hammer mightily at the worm that swallowed Amroth. "Spit him out, bait! I've fished with bigger worms than you!"
"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZ! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! CROIKEE!!! You little ****ing bait! I'll fry you like a fried worm is 'posed to be! That is, if you don't lemme out! We could be friends! I can get fish for you! FFFUUUUUUUUUUzz!
I know this is getting me back for something I did---I just don't know what. I would like some help here.
"Duh! Now's a good time to tell us." The Hobbit looks toward Glarghj’naslk’ncdl’n [sic]....
Hey, you're the one who keeps posting AD&D pictures, and claiming they represent Herculean Toad geniuses. I've disavowed any connection with the pics from the get-go. (Although the alternate name spelling is pretty neat. Chevera, feel free to use that one too.)
In one motion, one of the Sand Worms tilts its head back and swallows Amroth whole.
Good thing I decided I wasn't interested in the ring anymore.
What do you do?
Fly up as high as possible, and watch. Bite anyone who gets within range.
I know this is getting me back for something I did---I just don't know what.
I believe it's righteous punishment for your support of the Mystic/Power stat. [A reference to a T&T mechanics thread at the BFT. --ed.]
"Holy @##*%!!" Shipy looks around, taking in the combat scene and Amroth being swallowed. Suddenly, a big poo-eating anarchic grin cracks across his face.
(Dramatic but quirky Elfman orchestral swell as the combat begins....)
"Goddess-schmodess, toss me that magic crossbow, lollygagger... er, I mean Blodwydd. I have an idear!"
(Fade out. Cut to theme music....)
Sure that he will be swallowed whole by the white worm, Stark cowers and ducks, narrowly escaping its maw. He springs up, and holding the Fury Staff like a rifle, he aims a bolt of lightning down the worm's toothy throat.
Desperately diving out of the way as the huge annelid strikes at her, Blodwydd glances aside as Shipy yells for the crossbow. With a "Think fass!" she whips the bolt thrower from its holster and tosses it underhand in the direction of the Hobbit. Scrambling to get some distance, she draws her shiny new sword and prepares to ginsu the next worm that comes her way.
Felixia flutters back some, trying to avoid the reach of the worms. She quickly looks for where there may be any fish. Maybe if they get Amroth out, they can throw the fish and the wormies will go away.
Krandor welcomes the opportunity to release himself. His eyes glow a feral red and he goes berserk as he unleases his pent-up fury on the white worms.
Chereva attacks the worm that swallowed the glowing Amroth. "Hey, good line, Jamara! I gotta remember that one!"
Added a picture to the album, because Khara's poor choice makes Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n look so ridiculous, that even doltish barbarians and weaselly Hobbits with a penchant towards sexual harassment feel secure in making barbed remarks.
I trust this will correct that problem, and you will all come to understand the true horror of a Cthulhoid monstrosity, and henceforth provide the appropriate repect and honor.
Your picture of G'lar'g' [sic] looks like a red-eyed swamp rat! I thought you said were a lily-loving fly-sucking wart-growing bug-eyed Toad? And just exactly what are you insinuating about penchants? I'll have you know I don't even own a penchant. I think it's about time we had a Toad vs. Hobbit slap down!
Heh Tee hee!?!
Your picture of G'lar'g' [sic] looks like a red-eyed swamp rat!
"I think I'm cute, I know I'm Tsexy! I've got the looks that drives the girls wild. I've got the moves that really move 'em. I send chills up and down their spine. I'm just a Tsexy boy..."
I thought you said were a lily-loving fly-sucking wart-growing bug-eyed Toad?
I said nothing about warts. That's a myth. (And it was chewing, not sucking---unless they are rootbeer or cherry tasting flies.)
And just exactly what are you insinuating about penchants? I'll have you know I don't even own a penchant.
Of course not. All of the penchants you possess are stolen. You are a burrahobbit, after all.
I think it's about time we had a Toad vs. Hobbit slap down!
You would dare challenge someone possessing the combat adds to rival the immortal "Fang" himself?
Heh Tee hee!?!
I dinnae think so!
Put a saddle on the Toad and Chereva won't have to carry Shipy around anymore. :)
Let's not be silly---what do you think the snollygosters are for? Really!
Added a picture....
Where are the wingzz!? I remember you whining 'bout them not being there before....
"I think I'm cute, I know I'm Tsexy! I've got the looks that drives the girls wild. I've got the moves that really move 'em. I send chills up and down their spine. I'm just a Tsexy boy..."
Ha! Caught in your own web! What did you just say about da' Hobbit? <busted> <does happy dance around you.>
I said nothing about warts. That's a myth. (And it was chewing, not sucking---unless they are rootbeer or cherry tasting flies.)
That's what all warty Toads say! Please, this is PG-rated club! Heh-heh.
Of course not. All of the penchants you possess are stolen. You are a burrahobbit, after all.
Shows how much you know. I'm a Fallohide Hobbit. And I never steal, I barrow.
You would dare challenge someone possessing the combat adds to rival the immortal "Fang" himself?
Lest you forget, I now have the magic crossbow pistol. Some night when you're not expecting it, I will shine a light in your eyes and pick you off like roadkill.
I dinnae think so!
Think again, fly breath! The Hobbit Spins Again! EEE-yaHA!
Fuzz looks to Shipy as he complains about the appearance of the party and says, "True, we might have some weird looking party members, like hairy-footed fat munchkins who complain too much about giant furballs of solid steel muscles, but we also have amazingly good looking party members of Herculean strength and Toadish stature as well as a few bare-breaseted Centaurs, so I don't see what the problem is. And if you don't like the Centaur, there is always the Goblin."
When the ship lands, Fuzz starts heading out of the boat, but then the giant worms come up and eat Amroth, who, for the first time in his life, calls out, "Fuzz!" and pleads for help. Pulling out his crannequin, he lets loose a shot at the worm that ate his "friend." He mutters the words, "Please let this arrow penetrate the worm, causing severe damage to the digestive track, and embed itself in Amroth's thigh." Then in a louder voice he calls out to the worm who ate Amroth, "He's probably poisoned, you know."
Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n hovers, wishing he had a useful "Mystic" power.
Blodwydd draws the Crossbow Six Shooter from its holster and tosses it to Shipy. Nimble fingered as any Hobbit, Shipy catches the weapon and takes a moment to concentrate on his aim. At the same time, Jamara leaps from the boat. With no one holding the boat and the boat never having been pulled ashore, the boat lurches sideways as Jamara jumps (she fails a level 2 DEX check). She belly flops into the green water beside the boat very eloquently. Shipy fires the Crossbow Six Shooter at the same moment and the shot goes wild, burying itself into Fuzz's ass (16 damage, minus 13 for Fuzz's armor: Fuzz takes 3 damage). Shipy's second shot hits a sand worm and his third shot misses.
Blodwydd's sword slices deeply into a sand worm attacking her, opening a very nasty looking gushing wound in the sand worm. Its fluids spill out. Chereva charges forward up the beach and rams her oxtongue into the sand worm which swallowed Amroth, praying that it isn't a double-damage killing blow to Amroth somewhere inside the worm's stomach.
Lightning explodes from Stark's Fury Staff lighting up the entire area in a bright flash and an ear shattering boom as the lightning leaps from his staff point blank into the sand worm's open maw. The lightning does what lightning does best, spreading out into the wet sand in a circular area around Stark. (Stark is immune to the staff's lightning, but the following people take electrical damage straight off their CON: Blodwydd: 3, Krandor: 4, Jamara: 3, Fuzz: 2, Blodwydd's Sand Worm: 3. Everyone else is either grounded or out of range.)
The sand worm's insides are overcooked in mere seconds. Killed instantly, Stark's sand worm falls lifeless to the sand. Steam trails out of its mouth as it quivers.
"Oops, sorry Fuzz!" says the Hobbit, attempting to look innocent.
"Good job, twerp!" she says, slapping the Hobbit on the back of the head.
"Ow!"
In an uncontrolled berserk rage, Krandor's teeth and nails rip into the same Sand Worm that Blodwydd hit just seconds before. The heavily wounded sand worm turns its attention towards the Wolfman, attempting to swallow him, but it misses. The Sand Worm a little further up the beach who swallowed Amroth and whom is being attacked by Chereva decides it has no reason to continue the fight with a full stomach. Instead of attacking, it turns away and disappears into the soft sand taking Amroth's remains with it.
The sand worm scoops Amroth up in one bite, twisting its head into the air. With nothing to grip onto and no way to stop, Amroth slides down the spherical throat tube of the sand worm. The tube is tight, foul smelling and mucous-covered. Amroth slides instantly down into the creature's gullet, passing through several soft flap-like openings. The worm's gullet, little different than its throat tube, is filled with acid. Quickly, Amroth is bathed in pain and terror as his flesh breaks down and falls from his body. His cursed ring eagerly doubles any pain and suffering he endures the last few seconds of his life. With no air to breath and no escape possible at the moment, Amroth's eyes darken and close forever as his mortal form becomes worm food, his bones and items later to be discharged at some time later from the worm's digestive track. (Amroth takes 12 hits off his CON, killing him.)
Felixia hovers well out of the reach of the Sand Worms, above the water. As she does, she notices several large white fish swimming slowly in the greenish water below---fish that would have been easy to kill. Sensing something, Felixia pirouettes in the air and comes face to face with another female Fairy. Unlike Felixia, this female Underground Fairy has black skin and black wings.
"Give me that necklace, brownie!" shouts the Fairy, snatching Felixia's bag holding the necklace away from her and attempting to flee with it.
What do you do?
Jamara rights herself, spluttering and cussing up a blue streak as she gets her footing. "FEWMETS! Iya feed you to the frog, grease spot! Iya pound you into jelly! Iya say spit him out!!!" Jamara charges after the retreating worm like a miniature freight train, intent on yanking the Wizard out of its guts, or at least what remains of him!
Is there really anything I can do, other than pray for the damnation of my party members (j/k: not possible). Can I be a ghost? Or come back alive?
Hey. Don't blame us. I'm trying to at least get part of you out in hopes of getting the Visier to give you a raise dead or something. Besides, you're the one who ran up the beach. =(
Stark gets a crazed look and an evil visage as he watches the Fury Staff's brutal power unleashed. He quickly realizes the side effects of the bolt, and turning to the others, says, "I'm sorry about that. I didn't realize that was going to happen. I'm also sorry about your friend, Fuzz," he offers.
Turning his attention to Felixia and the new Fairy, he waits to see what happens. He will launch a TTYF at the dark Fairy if Felixia is somehow unable to regain the necklace.
Eyes still full of fury, and foaming a little around the mouth, Krandor is still in his berserker rage, tearing into whomever is nearest to him.
Hey, there was a saving roll involved on his being eaten, right? Can I ask why? Why? What did I do?
Throst, I can't speak for the GM, but I can tell you what he told me. There were 3 worms, and only 4 targets they could attack at that moment. You weren't singled out. You just got unlucky. It happens.
I know, thanks for the comfrot <sob> he, he, he was my <sob> favorite <sob> character! <SOB> Wait, I thought my favorite was those other two---oh yeah, it isn't that bad. LOL! I know it happens, plus where is the fun for the GM if he doesn't get to knock off a few people. Heheheh, FEW, hehehe.
Seeing as her Sand Worm has not yet been dispatched, Blodwydd continues chopping away at it, keeping a wary eye on Krandor who appears to be not entirely himself (whatever that may be) at the moment.
Chereva loses sight of the worm as it dives beneath the sand. She desperately stabs the shallow pit where the worm disappeared with her oxtongue, but she has a feeling that the worm will not return. "Jamara!" she shouts as the Warrior races by her after the worm. "It's gone! Amroth's gone!" There is desperation in her voice. Piles of bones and the trappings of doomed adventurers litter the beach, making her shiver.
No wonder the beach gives her the creeps.
She abruptly turns around to behold the smoldering carcass of one worm, and a battle with another still in progress. She sees Krandor consumed by battle rage, and her heart sinks further. There is also some commotion near the boat---Felixia seems very upset---and is that another Fairy?? With a defiant neigh, she charges back, oxtongue lowered, hoping to dispatch the remaining worm quickly before another friend is eaten.
And next time, she silently vows, nobody moves until Freaketa "remembers" to warn them of mortal danger! Enough is enough!
"Brownie?!? Why you dirty little mischief maker!" she calls as she flies after her. "You'd best give that back! I was told to protect it and I'm gonna protect it and get it to where it belongs!" she says, flying as fast as she can after the thief. She attempts to grab either the bag or the other Fairy's wings to stop her escape.
Galdor, I have returned with a message. Do not get eaten by a Worm; it hurts a lot. Don't even get eaten to try and find the Holy Hand Grenade inside; I checked for you and it is not there. The only relevance you have to Worms is to kill the one that killed me. Then retrive my possessions and give them to the ESA clan, they will reward you.
Sorry. I forgot about the other Worm. I'm living in my own little world of puppy dogs and candycanes, I tell you!
Stark turns, and attempts to throw a TTYF at the head of the remaining Sand Worm.
Sorry, Amroth but once you were swallowed, there wasn't much you could do, especially since you were wearing the cursed ring. You could not cast spells from inside the sand worm. And yes, there was a saving throw required to avoid being eaten. I rolled them for Stark, Blodwydd, Amroth and later Krandor, but only Amroth failed his roll. The only thing I can say, courtesy of Star Trek, is, "He's dead Jim."
As the rest of the group gangs up on the remaining Sand Worm, Fuzz pulls Shipy's arrow out of his backside and stands there doing nothing, and Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n hovers, considering Fairy snacks.
Shipy remarks to Freaketa, "Notice how nothing stops that Jamara? I think she needs some work on getting out of the boat tho'. Sexy isn't she?"
"Shaddddup!" she yells, threatening to backhand the Hobbit.
"Not the face, not the face!"
Seeing the black Fairy, Freaketa's eyes widen and she climbs out of the boat carefully, then races up the beach toward the dark entrance at full speed after the two Fairies.
Felixia and the black Fairy (named Hellena) zip away like two streaks of lightning. They cross the beach, disappear through the darkened entrance and continue beyond for a good distance. Felixia, being just a little faster than Hellena, catches Hellena by the wings, holding her for a moment before Hellena spins around and wraps her arms around Felixia's wings, and the pair plummets to the ground.
The pair's fall is broken as they crash onto the top of a three foot tall mushroom. The bag containing the necklace bounces out of Hellena's grasp and slides away. The two fem Fairies roll around on top of the large mushroom, biting, scratching, and pulling each other's hair. Eventually, Felixia ends up on top, pinning Hellena's arms down and sitting on her chest. Hellena's hair is messed up, her face is scratched, and large tears appear in her eyes as she looks up at Felixia, knowing she has been defeated.
"Uncle! Uncle! I give!" She cries for a moment. "I was only trying take it for King Snorkin. You've stolen it haven't you? Are you going to kill me now?" She cries some more.
Jamara rushes up and hits the only visible Sand Worm with her hammer. Stark's TTYF spell finishes it off. Seeing Krandor's berserk rage, Blodwydd holds her sword at the ready for a possible Krandor attack as she backs away defensively. Chereva, the last to join in, rushes up and drives her oxtongue into the dead Sand Worm. Picking a new living target, Krandor attacks Jamara, biting and clawing her. (Jamara takes 17 hits - 12 for armor = 5 damage.)
Shipy climbs out of the Swan Boat. The instant he does, the boat turns back into a feather. Picking up the feather, the Hobbit hides it in his pack while no one is looking, except maybe Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n, who hovers watching the entire scene. Shipy aims the Crossbow Six Shooter at Krandor, wondering if the silver-tipped arrows might stop Krandor, or just really piss him off. The Hobbit's pudgy finger squeezes on the trigger slowly.
What do you do?
Jamara drops her hammer and rushes the Wolfman, trying to tackle him! If successful, she'll try to pin him down. "Fido wants to play? I'M IN THE MOOD!"
Stark says, "Snap out of it, man!" and attempts to pin Krandor to the ground with Sticky Foot (MC 3). If he has enough power, he'll try to cast it for 2 seconds (MC 6).
"Kill you?" she asks, eyes wide. "Now if you had just talked in the first place, none of this would have happened," she says, sighing, but not letting the Fairy up.
"Those adventurers back there were sent to take the Princess back to the King, but we have to bring the necklace as well," Felixia explained. "I was sent to guard the necklace. It is a magical one," Felixia says, smiling at her. She bites her lip. "Are you okay?" she asks, "I'm Felixia."
Chereva is oblivious to the Fairies' flight. She sees Freaketa charging up the beach in her peripheral vision, but Krandor's feral regression grabs her full attention. Fighting back conflicting emotions and priorities, she leaves her oxtongue sticking up in the Sand Worm and tries to restrain Krandor by grabbing him with her deceptively strong arms before Jamara really lays into him big time.
White drool flies from Krandor's mouth as he is held down in his rage. He strikes out at his enemy, but soon realizes that his opponent has arms and legs---not the Sand Worm he was fighting a moment ago. Krandor's red eyes begin to change to blue as his rage dies down.
Can I kill Throst's ghost? He's really pissing me off! What happened to my arrow? Did it hit or miss Amroth's worm?
Fuzz heads over to the fight and is about to intervene when he sees that Krandor's rage is already subsiding. Seeing this, he decideds instead to search the beach and various bones for anything valuable. He also cuts open the two Worms to see if they have any jewels or such lodged in their digestive tracks.
Blodwydd drops her sword and joins the dog pile (huh-huh) on Krandor.
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