A Tunnels and Trolls® play-by-post adventure run by khara_khang
"Nook, what can you tell of us of a Fairy named Hellena?" he says, whispering (as only a Chaos Fiend can) to Nook.
Felixia's eyes widen some. "Ohmygoodness!" she says, looking at Krandor. "Wow! You're not all fuzzy! You feeling okay, Krandor?" she asks, fluttering around him and looking him over, getting used to the "new" Krandor.
Stark says, "Congratulations Krandor. If we get out of here, I'll buy you a drink you can have in a cup, as opposed to from a bowl or stream, that is."
Fairies wear boots.
And you better believe it.
Since no one else seems interested in them, Fuzz puts on the bracelet and shirt. He strolls along behind the rest of the group as he puts on his newfound gear and pockets the jewels.
Hmmm.
Hush-up, you. If you stay quiet, I'll split it with you.
A real love-in.
"You cut me deep, man, you cut me real deep."
Come to think of it, the axe does too, assuming I was dumb enough to use it on myself or let someone else use it. Fortunately, I'm almost as brainy as our resident Genius Toad.
"Yes. You're you again," Jamara says, apparently taking the sudden transformaton in stride and getting on with more practical matters, albeit with her usual bluntness. "Without claws. Without fangs. Without weapons. You run off without your gear. Now what you fight with?"
Actually, if I'm not mistaken, I think that Krandor's CHR wasn't that high.
When you go from a CHR -56 to a CHR 14, I think that's quite a leap for anyone don't you think?
Yes, Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n, you can have an autographed copy of The King in Yellow as equipment, but only if it's a 6th edition printing with the mystic cover.
Nook smiles, happy to see everyone and pats Krandor on the back. "Never underestimate the power of magic or uncooked fish, Krandor!"
"Misser wizzard Nooksir! ...Wear yer monkey?"
At this, Nook snorts as he laughs, "My monkey never leaves the island.... He's not house broken yet."
"Nook, what can you tell of us of a Fairy named Hellena?"
"Karanath, you mean the King's Fairy aide, Hellena, whom princess Freaketa is carrying. She's real light, although she looks like she needs a bath. Don't worry. If she gets out of line, we'll tell Felixia. Where's Amroth?"
Motioning for everyone to gather around him, Nook says, "Let me tell you a story while we walk to meet the King. As a young Goblin, Snorkin was the runt, the one everyone felt they should pick on. One day, Snorkin came upon a ring of power. He saw revenge, and planned for months. He finally wished for immortality. After more years, finally the time came to act. The elder Goblin was slain in a battle with another Goblin seeking to rule. Snorkin showed himself to the new ruler and became his adviser.
"One year later, the King's angry wife put imp's poison in the his food and he died. With the death of the King, Snorkin proclaimed himself King. He readied the Goblin army and attacked the neighboring Dark Elves, since war always brings Goblins together.
"But Snorkin picked the wrong time to attack: during an Elven ritual. Flashes of magic occurred and Snorkin watched his whole army disintegrated before his eyes. A flash of white magic hit him and he fell to the ground.
"When he awoke, he found himself in a golden room with a huge White Demon looming over him. The Demon's voice tore at Snorkin's soul.
"Years passed as Snorkin served as a slave for this Demon, and it noticed that Snorkin remained young and unaged. It finally asked why he still lived. If not for Snorkin's next words, he probably would have been killed right then and there. He said, 'I live for the revenge and death that I shall bestow upon those who oppose my rule.'
"Liking what it heard, the demon proceeded to train the Goblin in the ways of the immortals. Now a warrior of the White Demon, Snorkin grew taller, faster, stronger and more skilled than ever. The Demon was eventually impressed with his new warrior and told him that he bestowed upon Snorkin part of his power. The Demon started to laugh and the room started to spin in Snorkin's head. Stricken with extreme pain, Snorkin fell to the ground screaming. The Demon's laughter swam before his eyes and the want for revenge upon all that ever mistreated Snorkin danced in his head.
"When Snorkin awoke, he stood in a pool of blood, looming over the Demon whom he had somehow slain. When he returned here to Fishsquish Lake, the Goblins flocked to join their new King."
Nook pauses, his story finished. "So, you can now understand that the necklace (sent by the goddess) is for his bride, not for King Snorkin, who is already immortal. King Snorkin, King of the Lake Goblins, whose real name is Asflarganshee-sunv-devlarinbinarga wants someone to spend eternity with him. Even rulers get lonely, you know. See, all of this was a test to see if Freaketa was worthy of being his Queen. All of you have done well and I do appreciate the service you have done for the King. It will not be forgotten... at least not right away." Nook smiles.
After a few minutes of walking with Nook, you approach a lone Goblin sitting in an old wooden throne alone under the shadow of a large mushroom.
Seeing Freaketa, the King says, "Um, Wowsers! Two words for ya: SCHA WEET!"
What do you do?
Jamara leans over and whispers in Freaketa's ear, "So you are to live forever as the bride of a hateful king. Or at least, until he gets tired of you. Is this what you want? Iya not know why you were chosen. But maybay it be time for you to decide if you want to be chosen, or if you want to choose. Iya think maybay you not like this idea too much, or you not wait to be asked what to do to get here. But we bring you here. Our job over now. If you not want to be married to him, now is the time to say."
While walking along with Nook and the rest of the party, Blodwydd unstraps her old broadsword and offers it to Krandor. "Sinsya ain't wolfy nomore, yer gonna need sumthin' ta fight with," she says. "Yoo kin have my oldun'. Iss very sturdy, 'ceptin the leather onna handle needs replace...."
Once they have arrived at the throne of King Snorkin, Blodwydd hangs near Chereva and Jamara and tries to be inconspicuous. Demon-trained immortal warrior kings of vast Goblin empires are a bit out of her scope.
"Nook, what can you tell of us of a Fairy named Hellena?"
She has an unpleasant taste, so she is probably nutritious or unwashed.
"Ohmygoodness! Wow! You're not all fuzzy!"
Those contact lenses have done Felixia a world of good.
Hush-up, you. If you stay quiet, I'll split it with you.
If I was unmotivated by the earlier treasure, why would I care now?
Fortunately, I'm almost as brainy as our resident Genius Toad.
Almost? By species, you are an utter moron in comparison.
When you go from a CHR -56 to a CHR 14, I think that's quite a leap for anyone don't you think?
Not if you have a running start.
Yes, Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n, you can have an autographed copy of The King in Yellow as equipment, but only if it's a 6th edition printing with the mystic cover.
That's okay. As long as I don't read the autograph out loud, I'll be fine.
"...you mean the King's Fairy aide, Hellena... she looks like she needs a bath."
This means she wasn't nutritious.
"As a young Goblin, Snorkin was the runt, the one everyone felt they should pick on."
And they wouldn't let him play any Goblin games.
"He finally wished for immortality."
Okay.
"Snorkin showed himself to the new ruler and became his adviser."
Not bad for a runty Goblin whom everyone picked on.
"With the death of the King, Snorkin proclaimed himself King."
Not bad for a runty Goblin whom everyone picked on.
"If not for Snorkin's next words, he probably would have been killed right then and there."
How do you kill an immortal Goblin?
"Liking what it heard, the demon proceeded to train the Goblin in the ways of the immortals."
Summed up as: "Live long. Prosper."
The Demon's laughter swam before his eyes and the want for revenge upon all that ever mistreated Snorkin danced in his head.
It's like a gym in there.
"When Snorkin awoke, he stood in a pool of blood...."
Any laughter swimming there?
"[Snorkin] wants someone to spend eternity with him. Even rulers get lonely, you know."
Yes, I know. <Sigh>
"See, all of this was a test to see if Freaketa was worthy of being his Queen."
She brought others into danger while staying safe herself, withheld vital information from you to your detriment, and was a generally annoying waste of existence. My guess is she passed the test, and Snorkin tires of her after a year and a half, or the first time she recounts that speech she made in the boat.
"Um, Wowsers! Two words for ya: SCHA WEET!"
Goblins have such discerning tastes.
What do you do?
Is he small enough to swallow? Just curious....
I rest upon a toadstool. (I've been waiting to do that since we entered the fungal forest.)
"So you are to live forever as the bride of a hateful king. Or at least, until he gets tired of you. Is this what you want? Iya not know why you were chosen. But maybay it be time for you to decide if you want to be chosen, or if you want to choose. Iya think maybay you not like this idea too much, or you not wait to be asked what to do to get here. But we bring you here. Our job over now. If you not want to be married to him, now is the time to say."
Have a pie, eat a pie. Quit the whining. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Etc, etc, etc.
Can we convince Snorkin to take Fuzz too?
Chereva marvels at Nook's revelations. Cobalt hadn't told them half the story! She studies Freaketa's face as Jamara questions her feelings, but the Goblin is reticent.
She turns to King Snorkin, leaves Jamara and Blodwydd to walk forward a bit, and slowly bows her (very) human torso. "If I may address Your Majesty, my name is Chereva. We've come from Khazan, escorting Freaketa, whom we have been told is to be your wife. Seems like we went through hell and back to get her here, and not without mortal consequences for us and those that opposed us. Nevertheless, here she is."
Chereva backs away, bowing, then catches Felixia's eye and jerks her head in Freaketa's direction. The King would surely want to know if his bride came complete with necklace!
When you go from a CHR -56 to a CHR 14, I think that's quite a leap for anyone don't you think?
Um, actually someone needs to look up the rules again. It's not whether the CHR rating is negative or not; rather it is how far it is from 0. Negative numbers are actually for Monsters. So actually, he was better looking as a wolf.
"Where's Amroth?"
"Amroth was attacked by the worms. Freketa didn't tell us about needing to bring fish. Speaking of fish, you said something about never underestimating fish.... You think you could bring him back? If we need the body, you could come with us to hunt down the worm. I know that Glash'Clack'Clucky'Ducky' and Fuzz will come with us. Will you help us?"
Krandor takes the broadsword from Blodwydd and removes it from its sheath. "This is a fine sword. You've treated it with great respect, Blodwydd. It may be a bit difficult for me to use, but one day I may be able to wield it with as much heart as you have," he says, and straps the sword to his back. He kisses Blodwydd on the cheek and gives her a quick hug, "Thank you."
Krandor bows slightly. "If I may ask, sire, can you have someone show me the way to the surface once more? I've been away from my post in Khazan for far too long, and I must return there again now that my task is complete."
Negative numbers are actually for Monsters. So actually, he was better looking as a wolf.
Maybe to another wolf, but not to a human. That negative number sends a real chill down most characters' spines. So if you're going to tell me that Fuzz with his CHR -45 is a real charmer, don't even go there. I'm deferring this to Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n; I'm sure he can enlighten you with a well placed quip as the Hobbit has taught him.
Blodwydd's face is as usual a bit in need of a wash, so it's hard to tell whether or not she blushes when Krandor kisses her, but she does take an opportunity during the hug to cop a feel of his fine newly restored pecs....
"Yerra big charmer, aincha!" she replies to Krandor's thanks. "Anna better kisser thanna Hobbit...."
If I remember right, Charisma and appearance don't really have a lot to do with each other in this game. Appearance can be part of it, but you can be a knockout and still have the manners of a pig and the personality of a particularly obnoxious badger.
"I'm happy for you Krandor. If there were more people like Nook in this world, it would be a far less interesting place. What happened to the good old days when you could walk down the street and be turned into a ravenous monster by some schnook you never even met? These new 'hip' and 'groovy' kids just want to be changed into sexy young kids instead of raving monsters with three rows of teeth and multiple claws. It's very depressing."
Felixia looks to the others, still clutching the bag with the necklace. She then looks to the Goblin King and Freaketa. "I have the necklace!"
Can we convince Snorkin to take Fuzz too?
For your sake, I hope you're poisonous, 'cause I'm gonna have frog legs for dinner tonight.
Felixia nods to Chereva and flutters over to Freaketa, sliding the necklace from the pouch and holding it out to her. "Here's your necklace," she says, smiling.
So if you're going to tell me that Fuzz with his CHR -45 is a real charmer, don't even go there.
Are you implying that Fuzz isn't a real "looker"? He's "All sorts of fine," to quote The Whole Nine Yards. When he walks by, people always turn their heads and say, "Man, would you look at that?" I got charm up the yin-yang!
...if [Blodwydd] grew up pronouncing words like "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysliogogogoch"....
Now you've put your foot in it.
I of course really meant to say "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch."
Good thing you caught that, because I was about to rake you over the coals for it.
Cobalt hadn't told them half the story!
You're surprised at this?
"Amroth was attacked by the worms...."
I never liked him.
"Freaketa didn't tell us about needing to bring fish."
She didn't tell us anything other than that whiny Days of Our Lives speech.
"Speaking of fish you said something about never underestimating fish...."
He was the brains behind Barney Miller.
"You think you could bring him back?"
Please don't.
"If we need the body, you could come with us to hunt down the worm."
What an attractive offer you make the guy.
"I know that Glash'Clack'Clucky'Ducky' and Fuzz will come with us."
Hello? What gives you that idea? I don't want the stupid ring that badly. (I didn't realize I was such a friendly Herculean toad genius.)
"Will you help us?"
You are beyond all help.
He kisses Blodwydd on the cheek and gives her a quick hug, "Thank you."
All together now... AAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW....
...she does take an opportunity during the hug to cop a feel of his fine newly restored pecs....
Now there's a horrible image.
"What happened to the good old days when you could walk down the street and be turned into a ravenous monster by some schnook you never even met? These new 'hip' and 'groovy' kids just want to be changed into sexy young kids instead of raving monsters with three rows of teeth and multiple claws. It's very depressing."
Obviously, Fuzz is much happier as a freak of sorcery than as an elf. Interesting.
"If I may ask, sire, can you have someone show me the way to the surface once more? I've been away from my post in Khazan for far too long, and I must return there again now that my task is complete."
I'm sure you'll run off on your own in that general direction whether the King tells you anything or not.
[Chereva] slowly bows her (very) human torso.
Easier than curtseying, I guess.
"If I may address Your Majesty...."
The Toad's up on a toadstool.
"We've come from Khazan, escorting Freaketa, whom we have been told is to be your wife.... here she is."
Take her. Take her and good riddance.
"Here's your necklace."
All that nonsense just to give it to her anyway....
For your sake, I hope you're poisonous, 'cause I'm gonna have frog legs for dinner tonight.
One way to find out, eh Fuzzy?
Um, actually someone needs to look up the rules again. It's not whether the CHR rating is negative or not; rather it is how far it is from 0.
We surround the pit and chant, "Fight fight fight fight...."
Maybe to another wolf, but not to a human.... I'm deferring this to Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n; I'm sure he can enlighten you with a well placed quip as the Hobbit has taught him.
Leaving it to Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n? He responds with a well thought out "Errr."
Appearance can be part of it, but you can be a knockout and still have the manners of a pig and the personality of a particularly obnoxious badger.
That's what I just said!
Are you implying that Fuzz isn't a real "looker"? When he walks by, people always turn their heads and say, "Man, would you look at that?"
They did the same thing to the Elephant Man.
I got charm up the yin-yang!
Nobody is looking for it there.
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