A Tunnels and Trolls® play-by-post adventure run by khara_khang
"Could we be hurryin' this up, Shipy Sr.? Me gills are almost as parched as a throat in Brodie's tavern..." Shipy Sr. grinned fondly at Rina's reference to the tavern keeper back in the port in Khazil who was quite well known for doing more than simply sampling his wares. Shipy Sr. didn't speak for a few moments, but simply smiled knowingly and parted some foliage ahead. "My sweet land-locked sea-maid," he chided, "I really don't think that your complaints could have been timed better. It's right here!" They stepped out into a wide jungle clearing, Shipy Sr. and Sirina suddenly finding themselves as silent as Kazad.
They were only able to stare at the grand scene before them. The Shu-Tzen temple must have stood several hundreds of feet high or more, cloaked by the dark ominous clouds, but from any point other than right next to it, in a jungle as thick as the Oberonian, it was totally invisible. The structure itself showed no sign of blocks or seams, like a great monolith that had been hewn from a whole mountain, or just conjured in place by some ancient magick. Thirty-foot high walls of sheer rock circled the temple with one visible entrance. The top of the temple was far too high to glimpse from the ground.
"It's beautiful," Sirina said, finally breaking the silence.
"It's old. And probably trapped to the teeth," Shipy Sr. added.
Kazad looked at Shipy Sr. incredulously, and Sirina asked, "How d'ye figgure?"
"Simple. This temple was built by Elven wizard-priests. They were powerful magicians who were very jealous about guarding its secrets, lest someone got a hold of something they didn't know what to do with... or worse, if they found something, did."
A sudden shout from the south reminded the group that time was a factor here---they were being chased by one of the most dangerous Sea Elves they knew. With another silent look up at the temple, Shipy Sr. led his party towards the pinnacle-like temple face, his eyes ever wary for traps and clues that might grant them admittance into the temple.
The boat lists in the obvious direction of each boarder.
"Hello. I'm Olvarin. Hold still for a bit please...."
"Boy, for a second there I thought I was up a creek without a paddle. Glad you came along Olvarin," the Hobbit smirks.
He stands up in the middle of the tippy rowboat with a wild flourish of his opera cape, drawing his rapier with one hand and with the other removing his head for a Hamlet-esque soliloquy.
"Can the chatter. This is not Phantom of the Opera. Sit down 'Bones' or I'll be explainin' everything you need to know about the briny deep." He tries his best to steady the boat, and stares blankly off to the sea.
"Smoke and Drink! Smoke and Drink! Have you been tippling and carousing while time is so dear? Shocked, shocked, shocked I am at such behavior!"
At the first chorus of "Merrily, Merrily, Merrily," he will chime in, and will not be persuaded to stop....
More staring.
Megol hobbles onto the boat while mumbling something about making a sandwich out of the Fairy.
Jack adds with reverence, "I want to see a giant squid attack a sperm whale and battle to the death. I want to swim free with the fishes."
Megol grumbles. "I want the Fairy to shut up!"
The others on the rowboat are forced to listen to Jack wanting the same thing for Megol.
He chases Quickly with his kukri screaming, "Stop singing, or be my lunch! Hahahaha! Winky says says even you would make a good meal for a Leprechaun!"
Ocullos looks at the Fairy. "Food cube?"
Jay checks his coinage.
"Hello Mr. de Crampon. ...would you mind if I healed you just a tad? I have no idea whether my healings will be boon or bane to one in your delicate position."
All of Jay's coins are there as he takes a non-rowing position in the boat. At the same time Olvarin tests his healing on Jack de Crampon, which results in no effect, good or bad.
Save Shipy for last---he's probably got a stash of potions he wasn't going to let on about."
"Stop that T. It only encourages your brother to act the same way." The Hobbit looks into the murky water only to see floating seaweed and the occasional dead fish.
Taran and Jax row the boat out towards the Night Gail, a medium-sized merchant ship anchored a couple hundred yards out into the harbor. The boat ride out into the harbor takes a few minutes.
"Come on, Jax, row like something good is about to happen. I've got a dried-out lizard end with your name on it. Now row!" He hums the "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish" song.
"What are you getting at?"
"Well, I'm always trying to teach you to be open-minded, try new things, live life to the---"
"What are you talking about?"
"Aim the little boat at the big boat."
"Right-o."
"Shipy, you all weren't just on Carp Street, were you? Somebody said something about avoiding it... and I wanted to tell you but I couldn't find you...."
Shipy looks up at the Fairy and nods yes. The Hobbit's cheek is still black. "If I had known that I too would have avoided it."
"Which way are we sailing?"
Shipy pauses to look around. "I think we are heading that way," he says, pointing out into the ocean.
"There's been talk of pirates, and they sound like Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, or except maybe at a very leisurely pace, and there's a whole fleet of them. And their captain or chief or whatever is Sirina Muirogh. Mr. Crud, do you know her?"
"Yes. Pirate Captain Sirina Muirogh, I have heard of her, and she's done very well at terrorizing people. She's usually the only person at sea from whom people beg for their lives."
"No, really? Fathom that. Does it help?"
"Not really, but it delays the inevitable a little longer and tends to be more entertaining. A little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial. The second is anger. After that comes fear."
"What's after fear?" He cringes.
"Bargaining. Finally, acceptance. After that the fish eat you."
<gulp>
Dorsal's detailed explanation of what happens to people captured by pirates ends abruptly when the rowboat reaches the ship. The boat is tied off, and one by one, everyone climbs up out of the rowboat onto the ship's deck. Olvarin busies himself with healing everyone in need of his services.
The crew stands around for a few moments eyeing the new arrivals as if they have not seen newcomers in a long while. Eventually they scatter and raise the anchor and open the sails. As the wind catches the sails the ship heads out to sea.
"Happy bunch, aren't they?" Shipy heads to the captain's quarters.
What do you do?
Ocullos takes a stroll around the boat, going wherever he can and making a mental map of the place.
"Boy, for a second there I thought I was up a creek without a paddle. Glad you came along Olvarin."
Olvarin laughs softly, and says, "Just wait until you need a real Battle Mage. You'll be wishing for someone else then!"
Once they have boarded the Night Gail, Olvarin smiles a wan "until later" sort of smile at his dispersing comrades. Anxiously he falls in step behind Shipy, following the wise Hobbit towards the captain's quarters.
The Elf has already given up on the idea that the Night Gail's captain might be a woman. What with Quickly and Dorsal talking about Sirina Muirogh, the odds stand against him. Two beautiful women captains sailing the Seven Seas is far more than anyone could ask.
Anyway, it doesn't matter. Olvarin has not completely lost sight of his goal to impress Chereva.
"It's beautiful."
"It's old. And probably trapped to the teeth."
What a killjoy humbug he is!
All of Jay's coins are there as he takes a non-rowing position in the boat.
Then I make sure the Hobbbit [sic] didn't put a sign on me.
Then I climb out on the foredeck as far out as possible, yell, "I'm the king of the world!" then go looking to fornicate with somebody else's fiancée, knowing that the entire audience will see nothing wrong with this because I am the protagonist.
No, on second thought, I'll just go forward and watch the waves for an hour. It'll probably be a long trip, and the Hobbit will no doubt get around to explaining things soon enough. If anyone approaches (crew or passenger), I'll say hello.
After an hour, I'll find Ocullos and see if he'll teach me what I paid for, then ask him if he will sell another spell for 43 gold, and 5 silver.
After that's done, if there's still time, I seek out the individuals I do not know and have not already met (Ebony, Quickly, and Megol) for a more formal greeting. (As formal as one can get with a Fairy and deranged Leprechaun, that is.)
After that, if there's still time, I'd like to meet the captain and crew.
If I haven't time to do this all today, then I'll pick up where I left off tomorrow.
"I think I'm gonna hurl," Jax mumbles to the choppy waters off the forward bow as the Night Gail plows the waves. Every time the ship lists or pitches, he feels his stomach follow suit after a most nauseating delay. "Fewmets, Jay, this is why Orcs don't make good sea pirates."
Before Shipy and the others departed for the Captain's quarters, Jax, looking a bit more green than usual, muttered that he'd rather stay behind on the main deck. He also added that when Shipy got a free moment, he'd like a chat. Then he'd gone forward where he found Jay.
So there the pride of Clan Dracon waits darkly, braced against the gunwale, and wishing he hadn't filled up on so many sun-dried lizards before he left on this cursed adventure.
After tagging along after the Hobbit to see the captain, Quickly sees someone (Jay) inclined to be sociable, and he makes himself available.
"Ahoy and avast and...." he begins, getting less playful on seeing the glaring crowd of sailors. "Well met, Mage and dwimmer-weaver, Jay, if I heard you named rightly. Forgive me if I stay aloft. You won't have to bend, and I'll stay out of greedy grasp of hungry Leprechauns."
A worry crosses his face.
"Did I hear right, that we're going the same way of those Sirina whatsits' pirates? And I'm curious about another thing. Do big folk all have the same names as their kin? Shipy had a note from someone named Shipy Sr., and he seemed rather reluctant to show it about... do you suppose maybe he would want to talk about it?"
"Well, Shippo, not exactly the love boat but it'll do I suppose."
Jack takes a sniff of the salt air and catches just a hint of (Jax) Dracon vomit wafting lazily on the breeze. It reminds him of the true meaning of friendship, or something. Ack. Anyway, he approaches one of the mates and inquires after refreshments, i.e., Navy Rum, and takes measure of the ship, and hopes to quietly stumble on the weird coffin in the hold after a few blasts of the nasty stuff.
"Ahoy, Jax! A drink here to calm yer nerves, wha?"
[Jax]'d gone forward where he found Jay.
"Hello."
"Fewmets, Jay, this is why Orcs don't make good sea pirates."
"Well, at least you aren't rowing anymore."
And since I figure I have the time to regain the STR, I'll hit Jax with a Poor Baby and a Healing Feeling. Neither are really designed for seasickness, but that's all I've got. Besides, it might have a psychosomatic restorative effect.
...Quickly sees someone (Jay) inclined to be sociable, and he makes himself available.
Actually, Jay was seeking the others out only after watching the waves for an hour, and studying spells, but there's always time for Faeries.
"Well met, Mage and dwimmer-weaver, Jay, if I heard you named rightly."
"It'll do."
"Forgive me if I stay aloft. You won't have to bend, and I'll stay out of greedy grasp of hungry Leprechauns."
"Until today, I wasn't aware that Leprechauns had such a desire for Fairy meat. Is this usual, or are they just a defective pair?"
"Did I hear right, that we're going the same way of those Sirina whatsits' pirates?"
"Honestly, I wasn't paying much attention. From what I did hear, it doesn't seem to matter: all pirates will kill you, but she lets you beg for mercy before she kills you anyway. Economically unsound, I'd say. If you know you're faced with death, you have no recourse but to fight for your life each and every time, greatly increasing the risk factor for the pirates, as they have a much greater chance for casualties. A smaller ship might as well scuttle itself, they wouldn't win the fight anyway, and this way they can prevent the pirates from receiving any booty. But that's a depressing thought, and I'm sure the first mate was simply exaggerating to cause anxiety. I'm sure some pirates are willing to take prisoners and sell everyone into slavery."
"And I'm curious about another thing. Do big folk all have the same names as their kin?"
"No."
"Shipy had a note from someone named Shipy Sr., and he seemed rather reluctant to show it about... do you suppose maybe he would want to talk about it?"
"I believe that a group that intends to fight and possibly die with each other should not be keeping secrets that will affect the lives of their companions. I hold an extremely dim view of those who do, regardless of their self-justifications. If Shipppy's [sic] note is related to the quest, then I would expect him to share that information with us. If it's a happy birthday note from his father, then that's his own business. However, as annoying as I might find him, the Hobbit has done nothing to betray my trust yet, so I am here. I expect he's in discussions with the captain now, and after they finish talking, he'll gather us together and give us a more thorough explanation of our quest, and what makes it so important that we complete it."
Jay thinks, "Although if I don't find out the overall reason, I won't be too disappointed. Shipppy [sic] presented it as a treasure hunt, and I came along only because Jax assured me there was probably a deeper meaning. Sigh, I'm going to give myself an ulcer one of these days. Relax, breath, go with the flow...."
The crew stands around for a few moments eyeing the new arrivals as if they have not seen newcomers in a long while.
"Happy bunch, aren't they?"
What do you do?
I dunno. What do you do with a drunken sailor?
"Ahoy, Jax! A drink here to calm yer nerves, wha?"
Jax takes the flask offered him and downs a goodly swallow. "Thanks, Jack," he manages through his grimace. "You da Skeleton." Wiping his mouth on his wrist, Jax hands the flask back to Jack.
With time, Navy Rum and reminiscences (of Jack's valor in the camp of Ralathor the Lizardman, of Jack's valor in the throne room of Urish the Bug God, of Jack's valor...), Jax's queasiness subsides. He even listens in on the conversation Quickly picks up with Jay:
"Shipy had a note from someone named Shipy Sr., and he seemed rather reluctant to show it about...."
Jax, his eyes widening, looks up at the Fairy.
"I believe that a group that intends to fight and possibly die with each other should not be keeping secrets that will affect the lives of their companions. I hold an extremely dim view of those who do, regardless of their self-justifications."
"<cough> Krandor <cough>"
"...after they finish talking, [Shipy]'ll gather us together and give us a more thorough explanation of our quest, and what makes it so important that we complete it."
"And if he doesn't, I was going to have a chat with him anyway. Something about this whole setup is screwy. It's just not like the little guy to find his courage suddenly and organize an expedition to recover a far-away artifact of mythical proportions when there is plenty of good honest delving to be had in Khazan. You may be on to something with that letter, Fairy. By the way, I'm Jax. Don't confuse me with my brother."
Since Shipy hasn't shown yet, Jax decides to stretch his legs and says, "Hey Jack, wanna go find out who the stiff in the hold is?"
"Until today, I wasn't aware that Leprechauns had such a desire for Fairy meat. Is this usual, or are they just a defective pair?"
"Megol was pretty loud about it... but I hadn't heard they had a taste for Faerie either."
"I'm sure some pirates are willing to take prisoners and sell everyone into slavery."
"Well that's no fun."
"And I'm curious about another thing. Do big folk all have the same names as their kin?"
"No."
"Oh. So who's this Shipy Sr. then? The note said he was a failure, and in a watery grave, and said to stand tall as you can (which is odd for a Hobbit, don't you think?) and to flee when possible (which isn't) and to steal and to lie which is disturbing and---Whups! I remember now he's his father! So how'd he get that note if his father was in his watery grave?"
"It's just not like the little guy to find his courage suddenly and organize an expedition to recover a far-away artifact of mythical proportions when there is plenty of good honest delving to be had in Khazan."
"Maybe he's looking for his father? Maybe? Humm." Quickly hovers a moment, striking a midair-seated pose with his chin resting on his fist, elbow on his knee.
"By the way, I'm Jax. Don't confuse me with my brother."
He stands and bows. "Quickly Ratcatcher at your service, Jax. And don't worry, I won't confuse you with your brother. I'll be sure to baffle you separately."
With time, Navy Rum and reminiscences (of Jack's valor in the camp of Ralathor the Lizardman, of Jack's valor in the throne room of Urish the Bug God, of Jack's valor...), Jax's queasiness subsides.
It was the spells, I tell ya!
"<cough> Krandor <cough>"
"I wasn't going to be the first to say it...."
"I was going to have a chat with [Shipy] anyway."
"If it comes to a conversation like that, please give me a call."
Since Shipy hasn't shown yet, Jax decides to stretch his legs and says, "Hey Jack, wanna go find out who the stiff in the hold is?"
I'm mildly curious about that myself, but after that hour I was looking for Occulos.
"Megol was pretty loud about it... but I hadn't heard they had a taste for Faerie either."
"I wouldn't worry overmuch; delvers in general seem to be unpalatable, whether to Leprechaun or bug god [a reference to Urish chomping on Jay in Dangerous Creations --ed.]. And he doesn't sound very lucid to begin with. Doubtless he's already forgotten."
"I'm sure some pirates are willing to take prisoners and sell everyone into slavery."
"Well that's no fun."
"I imagine not, but it beats being deceased. Life is hope and all that. And if it is really no fun, then you can always commit suicide."
"And I'm curious about another thing. Do big folk all have the same names as their kin?"
"No."
"So who's this Shipy Sr. then?"
"The exception to the rule, of course."
"So how'd he get that note if his father was in his watery grave?"
"Perhaps he's as undead as Jack. You would be better directing that question to Shipppy [sic]." The Fairy's endless jabbering suddenly reminds Jay of how annoying he finds them.
"Don't confuse me with my brother."
"...don't worry, I won't confuse you with your brother. I'll be sure to baffle you separately."
But the earnest unintentional humor suddenly reminds Jay of why he likes them anyway.
I dunno. What do you do with a drunken sailor?
The answer, of course, is to:
1) Pull out the plug and wet him all over (repeat, repeat), early in the morning. Way, hey, and up she rises (repeat, repeat) early in the morning.
Or:
2) Put him in the scuppers until he's sober (repeat, repeat), early in the morning. Way, hey, and up she rises (repeat, repeat) early in the morning.
But I'm sure there are other alternatives!
Taran decides to tease his brother, pride of the Dracon Warren, blah, blah, blah, later when they're settled into their nice comfortable bunks swaying back and forth mercilessly in the bowels of the ship. (He laughs at the thought.) But Jax's sea-sickness only brings to mind his own discomfort. He knows he should've relieved himself before they left dry land. All those Lucky's Specials are catching up to him, and that makes him row all the faster to the ship, where presumably he will find a nice, out-of-the-way plank to overlook.
He nods to the healer as he makes his rounds, and flashes a satisfied smile that everyone has benefited from his ministrations, especially Ebony, who looks more relieved, and much less charred.
On board, Taran helps the first mate tie the rowboat. He inquires after a good place to stash their gear, and if there are quarters for them. He assumes nothing.
"Jax," he says to his brother before everyone disperses. "You don't look so good." He pauses for dramatics. "I mean, I've heard of green sailors, but really!" He laughs insanely at his brother's expense. So he decided not to wait until evening for the teasing after all. Ah, the whims of an Orc!
Taran mills around above deck, getting the feel for his sea legs as well as a good idea of the layout of the ship. To the deck hands and various other menacing-looking sailors, he grunts, flashes his tusks, and gives them the impression that they should keep their distance. It is bad enough that he has to put up with Shipy and Jack in one adventure, but now he has to put up with the "arghs" and "mateys" of a bunch of sea-locked swabbies, too!
Ebony remains fairly still, feeling a bit better, but still uncomfortable. She eyes the Orcs, suspicions running through her mind. Friendly, nice Orcs? Is it possible?
Friendly, nice Orcs? Is it possible?
Anything is possible. Speaking of which:
"Perhaps [Shipy Sr.]'s as undead as Jack. You would be better directing that question to Shipppy [sic]."
You know, Amroth was half undead for a while....
I dunno. What do you do with a drunken sailor?
The answer, of course, is to:
1) Pull out the plug....
Or:
2) Put him in the scuppers....
Or:
3) Shave his belly with a rusty razor, shave his belly with a rusty razor, shave his belly with a rusty razor, early in the morning. Etc, etc, etc.
Or:
4) Throw him in the back of the paddy wagon, throw him in the back of the paddy wagon, throw him in the back of the paddy wagon. Etc, etc, etc.
Or:
5) Throw him in a hole with the captain's daughter, throw him in a hole with the captain's daughter, throw him in a hole with the captain's daughter. Etc, etc, etc.
Ad infinitum.
But I'm sure there are other alternatives!
Indeed. Now all we need is for Jack D. to get a bit more free with the grog.
...now he has to put up with the "arghs" and "mateys" of a bunch of sea-locked swabbies, too!
Yo ho ho.
She eyes the Orcs, suspicions running through her mind. Friendly, nice Orcs? Is it possible?
They're quite pleasant individuals, once you get past the smell.
Anything is possible.
Ever try going through a revolving door with skis slung across your back?
You know, Amroth was half undead for a while....
Who?
With time, Navy Rum and reminiscences (of Jack's valor in the camp of Ralathor the Lizardman, of Jack's valor in the throne room of Urish the Bug God, of Jack's valor...), Jax's queasiness subsides.
"Don't forget tales of me, my valour and all those back up singers in the hot pants, eh?"
If Shipy doesn't show after an hour, Jax will decide to stretch his legs and say, "Hey Jack, wanna go find out who the stiff in the hold is?"
If this is in fact said to Jack, he'll say, "Sure Jax-o, but we best be all sneaky and clandestine about it. Under cover of night, cloaks and daggers, etc. We can't just walk down to the hold and have a look at a coffin, yeah? Not spooky enough...."
Go To:
PBPArchives
| Rahnian
| prev
| next
This page updated: Mon Jan 09 14:22:29 2006
All text Copyright ©1999-2006 PBPArchives.
