A Tunnels and Trolls® play-by-post adventure run by khara_khang
"Little does Dad know that the Pirate Blade of Rahnian actually contains a horrible creature. A Balrog to be exact."
"A Balrog, no less!" Olvarin exclaims in distress. "Ai, ai! A Balrog is coming!" It is then that the Elf notices that Shipy seems lost in lustful reverie. The slack-jawed drooling and the vacant eyes, never mind the giggling, tell the story. Politely, Olvarin clears his throat, trying to gain the the Hobbit's attention. After several minutes of feigned coughing and gentle nudges, Olvarin gives up trying to communicate with Master Shipy.
There is, after all, a long sea voyage to look forward to. And there is plenty of time for asking questions and getting to know his comrades. A Balrog, huh? It occurs to Olvarin that Chereva might be very impressed if the party defeated a Balrog.
"Yeah, and what am I going to do? Heal it to death?" the Elf healer laments. He goes up to the bow of the ship to watch the dolphins, and to drink watered down wine from his wineskin. After a while, he loses himself in daydreams....
Quickly covers his ears. "Fathom that! In a blade? I had no idea that a blade could be so big, or a Buh, a Buh, a Bal---no, I won't say it---could be so small, a Bal---a buh, buh.... But wouldn't we all like to keep an eye on the captain? I don't trust him, no. And what if he knows about the treasure and wants to grab the treasure and grabs the blade and lets the buh, Bal... lets it out and it starts burning and killing and eating and, and...."
He whispers, "There's a little window high up on the ceiling in the captain's quarters that I could just peep through, or listen at... or would, if Olvarin or Ebony could see if there is any magic set on it first. That way we could find out more about the prisoner too, and be sure that the captain doesn't intend the same for the rest of us, and find out what he knows about the buh---the treasure."
"A Balrog...." Ebony murmurs softly, and looks out over the sea. She hasn't heard mention of a Balrog since her grandmother told her about them as part of her training on demons, their tricks, and how to defeat them. What was it her grandmother said about Balrogs? She recalls her words, spoken while they sat under the veranda in her garden: "Ah, yes, honey, they're real enough alright, but few have seen them and lived, and even fewer have seen them and ever been the same."
"Shipy," she says, "you said that you wanted to stop your father from letting the Balrog loose. How much of a head start on us does he have?"
"Ummm, well, it's like this, Quickly. I am paying Captain Jelsee to take us there and the more problems we encounter, the more moola it costs, you see?"
"On the other hand, it's reasonable to warn him of possible threats you're getting him into. If we don't encounter them, then you don't have to pay extra, based on what you've said, and if we do encounter them, you'd still pay, but he'd be mentally prepared and could ready his crew faster. On the other hand, as a sea captain, he'd already be aware of pirates, so unless there is one specifically targeting us... ?"
"It's wise not to let everyone know our business unless you have some reason to trust Captain Jelsee more than I do?"
"With this, I would agree. If it neither concerns nor affects him, then there's no reason to speak of it."
"The famed Pirate Blade of Rahnian was placed in an Elvish temple within the Oberonian Jungle on the island of Shu-Tzen for a reason: not to hide it, but to contain its fury."
"Hold on: an Elvish temple? To whom? I'm not keen on looting places of worship, no matter how much treasure is in the place. And, if the blade was placed there to contain a Balrog, it doesn't seem to be a particularly onerous diety from whom we can even rationalize 'liberating' treasure.
"I can see the necessity of getting to the blade before your father does, but this brings up several other questions.
"Is this temple still active? If so, why not inform the guardians and simply wait for your father to arrive? Surely you can convince him of the dangers of the Balrog.
"If not, what happened to the temple? And if it isn't, whatever temple treasury is left behind should probably belong to whatever remains of that order of Elves. And those hostile Sea Elves you mentioned: are they connected to the temple in any way? And what of the blade? What do you propose to do with a blade containing a Balrog if we do find it?"
"Yeah, and what am I going to do? Heal it to death?"
"I would recommend you use your skills to help us prevent its release. As the Hobbit pointed out, there are bound to be numerous obstacles before we even reach the blade."
"There's a little window high up on the ceiling in the captain's quarters that I could just peep through, or listen at... or would, if Olvarin or Ebony could see if there is any magic set on it first."
"Yes... I'm sure they're both fine mages," I say very dryly.
"Shipy, you said that you wanted to stop your father from letting the Balrog loose. How much of a head start on us does he have?"
"Excellent question. And does he know his exact destination?"
"Yes... I'm sure they're both fine mages," I say very dryly.
Removing my foot from my mouth, I say, "Why of course of course of course you too, Jay. By all that's green and living, I meant no offense."
"What a quaint lizzle place this be! Why do you have a comfy bed? Whereass mine? Winky says that parrot should taste one of my bullets. Isth that right? Cappin, man I'm hungry, an your parrot lookth good!"
Jack takes another big bad woof out of his rum bottle. "Here's to yer old man, Shippo. Anyway, I'm headin' below with this fire water for a last blast and a nap. Catch all you lovers in 40 winks." He makes his way to the stairs to the lower decks.
Jax doesn't flinch at Shipy's revelation of the dark denizen of Rahnian's Blade. There was a Balrog by the name of Baruug in Lerotra'hh's elite corps during the Siege of Khazan, but the guy was shot down by an alien starship and crashed to earth on top of Taran and Blerrg, killing all three in a tremendous fireball [cf. Agents of Lerotra'hh --ed.].
Dude seemed nice enough.
Jax contributes to the discussion: "Ahh, so once Daddio takes the sword from the temple, the magicks holding the Balrog in check are no longer in force, and all hell has the potential of breaking loose. Thus the grandiose treasure hunt guise; how else would you have rounded up enough muscle to goaltend a cursed Elven toothpick? A little trust goes a long way, my friend. Even had you been up front about this, I'd have accompanied you," Jax folds his meaty arms as he frowns down at the Hobbit and sighs.
"If I understand you correctly, Shipy, the only way to stop your father is to catch him before he reaches the sword; otherwise, you would have tried safer, less direct means. This seems to indicate that Shipy Sr., as well as any temple guardians or occupants, are incommunicado. It also seems to me that unless we can speed our progress toward Shu-Tzen, we are at the whim of the weather."
Barring any more revelations from Shipy, Jax asks if anyone has seen his brother. Getting a bad feeling and no affirmative response, he accompanies Jack below deck.
"MMrffmrmfff!" Taran emits through his constricted throat. He could have pulled the severed whip piece from his neck, but he quickly reasons that with the upper hand, he should press his advantage and not stop to untangle himself. He can breathe well enough despite the choker, and that will do, for now.
With his free hand [he must have dropped his crossbow --ed.] he grabs for the figure's arm---preferably the one with the whip. With his swordarm, he presses hard, but not enough to sever (at least in his estimation), where he guesses this figure's neck ought to be. He hopes that the move will buy him a few seconds to size up the situation.
Taran takes in the scene with as many senses as he can muster. With his knees and shins pressed down, it feels as if he is pinning down a pile of dried leaves wrapped up in a robe. He takes in the air of the cargo hold through his flaring nostrils, all the while staring where he gathers in the darkness the figure's face should be. In his life he has smelled death, decay, and rotting corpses on more than one occasion. He smells it again, now. His ears perk up as he hears footsteps. One, two sets... "Frak," he thinks: at least five sets of footfalls, all around him. He steals quick glances to his left and right. Nothing. Not a thing. There is a bit of light coming from the deck above---just enough to ruin his night vision---but other than the shadowy figure beneath him, he can make out nothing.
"Alright," he directs downward, menacingly. "You and your buddies have some <rhrhrug> explaining to do." (L2SR vs. INT to make the mental connection that these folks might be the same that brought the coffin to the ship. 1+3=4 FAIL!) He stretches his neck to give himself some speaking and breathing room. Unfortunately, Taran is in the dark mentally as much as he is physically. "Back off and start explaining, or your buddy here <echkh> loses his head!"
Portions of this move included information supplied offline by khara_khang.
Captain Jelsee waits patiently for the Leprechaun to finish.
"What a quaint lizzle place this be! Why do you have a comfy bed? Whereass mine? Winky says that parrot should taste one of my bullets. Isth that right?"
"Run him up the Jolly Roger!" squawks the parrot.
"Well, thanks for bring your questions directly to me. But frankly, I don't give a damn! Perhaps I should have you thrown over board---at least then we wouldn't have to listen to your incessant whining. Now get the frell out of my cabin," orders the captain, pointing at the door.
The Hobbit isn't exactly keen on the idea of breaking into the captain's cabin with the captain in it like a caged lion, but Shipy has more pressing problems than worrying about who does what to whom. Like an unfinished symphony in his head, Shipy continues to listen to the questions as best he can.
"But wouldn't we all like to keep an eye on the captain? I don't trust him, no.... There's a little window high up on the ceiling in the captain's quarters that I could just peep through, or listen at...."
Shipy answers Quickly, "Yeah, well, curiosity is a common trait," adding sotto voce, "in Fairies with a death wish." The Hobbit smirks somewhat. "You're all here to do a job. So start acting like professionals. At least keep up the appearance of it." The Hobbit shrugs. That's the speech all party leaders are supposed to give. Somehow it doesn't seem to help. Quickly is probably right anyway.
"Hold on: an Elvish temple? To whom? I'm not keen on looting places of worship, no matter how much treasure is in the place. And, if the blade was placed there to contain a Balrog, it doesn't seem to be a particularly onerous diety from whom we can even rationalize 'liberating' treasure."
"Good news Jay. I know, you're always suspicious of good news, but the good news is that it's not that kind of temple. It's the kind of temple where items are stored for safe keeping. OK, so maybe it's not exactly the wisest place to be looting."
"I can see the necessity of getting to the blade before your father does, but this brings up several other questions. Is this temple still active? If so, why not inform the guardians and simply wait for your father to arrive? Surely you can convince him of the dangers of the Balrog."
"Well, now I can only speak truth, and that comes as good and bad news."
"All right, give me the bad news first."
"The bad news is that the guardians of the temple are the bad news. I am sure all the people at the temple are long since dead. And yes, I could warn him, if we can find him, but if I could find him, then we wouldn't be here, would we?"
"...what happened to the temple? And those hostile Sea Elves you mentioned: are they connected to the temple in any way? And what of the blade? What do you propose to do with a blade containing a Balrog if we do find it?"
"You know, the usual things that happen to temples: death, decay, spider webs, dust bunnies, long forgotten abandonment, gothic cracks and creepy noises. But pieces of different kindling often build the strongest fire, so I am told." Shipy stops to think why he said that.
"The Sea Elves guard the island from intruders."
The Hobbit thinks hard on Jay's last question. "I am reminded at this point of a word that actually brought us here: 'hope.' I was thinking of hiding the blade somewhere no one would ever find it. It's not like I can just toss it into Mount Doom. I don't have many options, but I am open for suggestions. I have heard that tragedy often heralds flight.
"I know, I know, omit no detail, however small or filthy. I am trying." Shipy adds, expecting an argument.
"How much of a head start on us does he have?"
Shipy ponders Ebony's question in the vast regions of his brain filled mostly with gibberish. "He has a little over a week head-start on us, but I have clues of how to get into the temple that he doesn't." Shipy taps his head (pointing to the clues).
"Excellent question. And does he know his exact destination?"
Shipy grumbles. "Yes he does."
"Ahh, so once Daddio takes the sword from the temple, the magicks holding the Balrog in check are no longer in force, and all hell has the potential of breaking loose. Thus the grandiose treasure hunt guise; how else would you have rounded up enough muscle to goaltend a cursed Elven toothpick?"
The Hobbit nods to the first part of GrappleJax's statement, then feeling the spotlight, he pulls out a map and shows it to everyone.
"But it could lead to other treasure... possibly even grandiose treasure hunting if it's for real," Shipy speculates. When Jax scolds him, Shipy folds the map up and puts it away and lets that part of his plan fall into silence. "Sorry 'bout that," he mumbles, taking in Jax's frown.
"Here's to yer old man, Shippo. Anyway, I'm headin' below with this fire water for a last blast and a nap. Catch all you lovers in 40 winks."
Shipy takes the bottle of rum from Jack with a smile and wonders if Skeletons really do need to take naps. He watches Jack plod off in the quirky marionette puppet manner of his frame, and Jack soon disappears below deck. For some reason, Shipy thinks of his Mummy, but he hasn't thought of her in years. His reverie is broken as Jax continues.
"If I understand you correctly, Shipy, the only way to stop your father is to catch him before he reaches the sword; otherwise, you would have tried safer, less direct means. This seems to indicate that Shipy Sr., as well as any temple guardians or occupants, are incommunicado. It also seems to me that unless we can speed our progress toward Shu-Tzen, we are at the whim of the weather."
"This reminds me of Bonnie and Clyde.... Oh, no, forget about that one, it has a bad ending."
As a race, Orcs can be inartful at love, more than adequate at war, and intrinsically subtle. But at least one of these two are intelligent. How can he possibly lose, Shipy thinks, his revelations seemingly expended for the moment as the double-Js head below deck.
Taran gasps in shock as a hiss of death breaks the silence, echoing from a lipless corpse which limps into Taran's view. It's a Mummy (the undead kind), and a very powerful-looking one indeed, shrouded in ancient cloth and robes. Bejeweled items sparkle and begin glowing in the faint light, each jewel holding its own mystical energy. A faint chilling moan comes from the creature which all but ignores Taran.
In one hand, the Mummy holds a jeweled sword. The other it raises into the air and magically, the two decks above open suddenly like a gaping mouth. Shipy screams and falls backwards into the abyss, drawn downward into the Mummy's grasping hand. Above, Ebony and Jay scramble backwards out of the way as the deck opens almost under their feet and then closes magically. Shouts on the main deck can even be heard from the crew.
His eyes wide with fear after having just fallen into the waiting hands of an undead creature, Shipy eeks out one word: "Mummy!"
"Now be a good little minion to your master. I have need of your services, Shipy," croons the ancient voice.
Jax's tattoo starts to glow as a portal opens inside the cargo hold. Jack (and a moment later, Jax) arrives in the cargo hold to witness Shipy's fate.
"Don't take me! You want Jax and Taran. You want those filthy, lazy, flea-bitten---" He sees the Orc brothers looking his way. "Oh, hi there!" He smiles at them. "HELP!"
The Mummy backs through the portal holding Shipy in front of him. The Mummy's other minions follow. The Taran has pinned suddenly shifts and tosses Taran off, then crawls on its hands and knees toward the portal. Grabbing his over and under crossbow, Taran fires twice. Both bolts sink into the creature's ass as it disappears into the portal. The portal is still open and pulsing.
"Bloody good shooting," Jack states.
"I was aiming for between his eyes," Taran responds swiftly.
What do you do?
"Well, what do you boys figure? Flip a coin or 'rock, scissors, paper'?"
At the sound of the Hobbit's shriek, along with Ebony and Jay's shouts of dismay, Olvarin turns from the bow in time to see the two Wizards staring into a large black hole. Before the Elf can react, the pit slams shut.
Hurrying over, Olvarin stares at the solid planking. Turning to Ebony and Jay, the Elf blurts, "What happened? Do you know the way to the hold?"
"But wouldn't we all like to keep an eye on the captain? ...what if he knows about the treasure and wants to grab the treasure and grabs the blade and lets the buh, Bal... lets it out and it starts burning and killing and eating and, and...."
"And we can deal with that if it comes to it."
"Yes... I'm sure they're both fine mages."
"Why of course of course of course you too, Jay. By all that's green and living, I meant no offense."
"None taken. Really."
"You're all here to do a job. So start acting like professionals. At least keep up the appearance of it."
Jay makes an almost-humorless half-smile, as if he's just heard a private joke. "Act like you know."
"Good news Jay. I know, you're always suspicious of good news...."
"Only because it rarely exists as such. I prefer to hear the bad news to be better prepared."
"It's the kind of temple where items are stored for safe keeping."
"So no religious affiliation at all, yes?"
"OK, so maybe it's not exactly the wisest place to be looting."
Somebody's dad didn't assign level increases to IQ.
"All right, give me the bad news first."
"It's never all right." Oh, wait, that was me. Never mind.
"I am sure all the people at the temple are long since dead."
"Nobody ever thought about switching the people at the temple? Who set this place up?"
"And yes, I could warn him, if we can find him, but if I could find him, then we wouldn't be here, would we?"
"That's why I said we simply wait outside the building and warn him when he arrives instead of hacking our way through the temple."
"The Sea Elves guard the island from intruders."
"Why? Do they know of the Balrog? I would much prefer to avoid a conflict with them and explain our presence than to get in pointless battles with someone who's keeping intruders out of a place they shouldn't be in in the first place, if at all possible."
"I was thinking of hiding the blade somewhere no one would ever find it. It's not like I can just toss it into Mount Doom. I don't have many options, but I am open for suggestions."
"How many people know of this blade? Apparently not many, or they would have sought it out long before now; the temple must have been abandoned for ages if the people all died, and it fell into gothic cobwebbed, cracked ruins. And if it's full of hostile guardian traps, on an area surrounded by Sea Elves determined to keep intruders away, why bother moving it at all? It's been undisturbed all this time. Why not just find your father, tell him about the Balrog, and leave the blade alone? Unless the location has suddenly become common knowledge, or you know some way of tossing the blade into another plane or off the planet, it might be best to leave it alone. Or perhaps dumping it into one of the deepest chasms in the ocean. I would guess a flaming demon would be mildly put-off by that much water. Perhaps in its new home beneath the waves, the Balrog will simply lie dreaming---until the stars are right, of course."
"I know, I know, omit no detail, however small or filthy. I am trying."
<shrug> "No argument here."
"Ahh, so once Daddio takes the sword from the temple, the magicks holding the Balrog in check are no longer in force, and all hell has the potential of breaking loose."
The Hobbit nods to the first part of GrappleJax's statement....
"If removing it from the temple breaks the magic holding the Balrog in check, how did you plan on moving it to hide somewhere safer?"
"Thus the grandiose treasure hunt guise; how else would you have rounded up enough muscle to goaltend a cursed Elven toothpick? A little trust goes a long way, my friend. Even had you been up front about this, I'd have accompanied you."
"I'd have been more likely to come along."
...feeling the spotlight, he pulls out a map and shows it to everyone.
I try my best to remember pertinent details.
...magically, the two decks above open suddenly like a gaping mouth. Shipy screams and falls backwards into the abyss, drawn downward into the Mummy's grasping hand. Above, Ebony and Jay scramble backwards out of the way as the deck opens almost under their feet and then closes magically.
Jay rushes towards the stairs heading below deck, calling out to the Leprechaun in the crow's nest to Wink-Wing below deck: the Hobbit has been swallowed by a magic hole.
Oh, he gives a shout of dismay as well. I dunno why, I just feel compelled to do so.
At the sound of the Hobbit's shriek, along with Ebony and Jay's shouts of dismay....
Ah, that would be why.
"What happened? Do you know the way to the hold?"
I sure hope so, because that's where Jay's ostensibly heading. It would be unfortunate if he wound up elsewhere.
What do you do?
Whenever I get down there (presuming we all get filled in from those who saw what happened---I can fill in for the Elf and Leprechauns what I saw up top, but Jax, Jack, or Taran will have to cover below decks), if the portal is still open, I'll suggest we follow. It couldn't be immediately fatal, but might lead to it. Oh joy.
On the other hand, if explanations are not immediately forthcoming, and someone else dives through the portal, I'll follow, presuming they know what they're doing, and will explain when we get a chance to do so.
"Quickly, if you want to make an attempt to rescue that other Fairy, this might be the time. The captain must've heard the commotion, and might've left his cabin to investigate. You might not get another chance."
Jack fills in those not present in lively and presumably entertaining detail. "I love Shipy just as much as the next guy, though that's no reason not to try and help him out. But don't you all think that checking out the coffin might be a good plan? Asking the crew topside? I mean, they loaded the thing up. Someone must know something about this... or maybe they're in on it too, in which case we're caught between a bit of a rock and a hard place: spooky dimensional portal on one side, slavering Mummy minion crew on the other. Suckage. I hope Ship-o didn't have that rum bottle on him when he bugged out."
Jax takes in the scene. "You OK, T?"
"Yah. Yer glowing again."
Jax feels the temporary hit to his dexterity (courtesy of his symbiont) as a vague dulling of muscular tension in his swordarm. As he peers into the portal, The Wizard Grutoss's words [cf. Dangerous Creations --ed.] echo inside his (mostly empty) skull:
"As for your gloves, they aid in unopposed access to conjured demi-quasi-dimensional portals. You should wear them more often and learn to use them correctly."
"No time like the present," he thinks, looking down at the gloves on his hands.
"You're not seriously...."
"It may not stay open long!" Jax says, flipping up the hood of his cloak of invisibility and launching himself through the portal.
"Jax? Jax? Aw, fewmets. I hate it when he does that."
Ocullos walks out of the captian's quarters with his head hund low, dissapointed the parrot was not his meal, not to mention even his friend. As it seems to him, everyone is rushing down to the lower levels of the boat, so Ocullos follows everyone down posthaste, after yelling up to Megol that something has happened.
Capt_squidio went on a vacation and he asked me to take control of his character for a while. <throws head back and laughs evilly>
"I was thinking of hiding the blade somewhere no one would ever find it. It's not like I can just toss it into Mount Doom. I don't have many options, but I am open for suggestions."
Obviously we've gotta get there fast, so how about all the Wizards get at the back of the boat and cast Blasting Power at the right angle to give us a big boost of speed? Or am I gonna get shot down for this?
Jay rushes towards the stairs heading below deck, calling out to the Leprechaun in the crow's nest to Wink-Wing below deck: the Hobbit has been swallowed by a magic hole.
You just don't like the way Ocullos talks! Just wait, Megol will swat you with his stick and then I'll be the favorite Leprechaun! HAHA!!
Megol Wink-Wings below deck at "guest star" Jay's command.
Ocullos scurries past a pondering Fairy. "Hey-O Razcatcker! You gonna be da hero man fors the chick fair!? Want helps?"
Yes, this is Ocullos offering to help Quickly to do an insane deed which could get them killed; then again, so is the alternate action of jumping through the portal.
Throwing caution to the wind, Quickly says to the Leprechaun, "Did I hear you say you were hungry? Start a clamor for the parrot instead of the Fairy and don't stop until you get it! Be a big nuisance and a distraction to anyone in the captain's quarters!" With heroic music ringing in his ears, Quickly zips to the aforementioned window to the captain's quarters and prepares to make a dash for the Fairy cage.
"Jax? Jax? Aw, fewmets. I hate it when he does that."
"Freakin' hothead! So now I get to rescue both of you eh? Crappin' crap." Jack turns and runs in the opposite direction to try and find the sarcophogus and whatever clues it might offer. "I'm headin' for that coffin! Anybody comin'?"
"Start a clamor for the parrot instead of the Fairy and don't stop until you get it! Be a big nuisance and a distraction to anyone in the captain's quarters!"
Ocullos draws his kukri and runs into the captains' quarters. "Polly!! Com`ere buddy! HEY! I'm big-dar than you, get in my belly!" Ocullos launches himself at Polly, grabs the parrot around the neck and runs around the room with it.
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