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The following story is by no means the truth, in fact, it could be very far from it, but, the accounts that follow are from many interviews with witnesses to the events. Needless to say, witnesses will say anything if paid or tortured enough. So, on with the tale. |
The time, many moons ago, the place (can’t tell you that, it’s a quest area :P ), ok, well, I’ll spill a little, but no quest info. We join the peaceful Effaw as he goes about his daily reign of terror and torture. Effaw is a quiet man, a man of solitude, a man that likes to get away from it all. Here in his study he can torment souls around the world without having to leave the comfort of his armchair.
What’s that we hear? A scream in the distance the continued echo through the tunnels. Ahh, he thinks, one of my pets have found a plaything, mayhap another adventurer. And that, another scream, must be a party. But Effaw is troubled, there are many screams, they grow closer, and very few people venture this far *******(This part edited for your safety). So who or what can it be? All that can be heard is the occasional clink of equipment hitting the ground must be adventurers dropping their equipment and running. The wise and kind wizard returns to his studies as silence once again permeates the air.
"Oi! You!", comes a voice from behind him.
Effaw spins around and sees nothing. He shrugs and returns to his desk, must have been his imagination.
"Oi! You there, wizard!", comes the same deep voice.
Slowly he turns around, preparing a fireball. Still nobody.
"Oi!, you there, pointy hat! Down here!". Ahh, what’s this, a
dwarf, and what’s that he holds? MY sword?!? From somewhere amongst the armour
comes a voice. "Oi, I want me armour."
"YOUR armor? You couldn’t possibly be talking about MY Star Armor now
would you?"
"Ai, that’s the one. Now hand it over."
Effaw tosses his head back and laughs at the dwarf. "Why don’t you come
and take it."
"Alllrrrright, sic him boy."
The dwarf steps aside to reveal a beast, one of Effaw’s own. The wolf lunges at Effaw while the dwarf attacks with the magical blade. Effaw throws everything at the dwarf and his pet, but just before he claims victory, the dwarf turns and flees. "HA! Flee little one and never return!" But what’s this, the dwarf returns, fully healed and ready to rumble. Effaw fights as valiantly as can be expected from an evil warlock, but to no avail. The dwarf drives the killing blow home and stands above Effaw as he slowly bleeds to death. ‘Wh-h-ho are you?" is all he can muster. "Ma name, is Zwr. And you’ve just been Zwred."
We now move to the peaceful land of the Ice Giants. Peaceful beings, keeping to themselves, tormenting wildlife and killing the occasional adventurer. What’s that in the distance? It looks like a traveling merchant on his horse with his servant carrying his supplies next to him, along with a pet dog. Ahh, this should be enjoyable. They haven’t had horsemeat in a few months. They patiently await the arrival of the pair and their horse. Carefully laying out a trap to catch the two. Hmm, they haven’t come round the corner yet.
"Ahem, excuse me." Says somebody behind the giants.
"Yersh, what is it?" says the lead giant without turning round. Must
be one of the giants who is getting tired.
"Um, is this a trap?"
"Yersh, you stupid hunk of..of you."
"Ahh, thank you. And ahh, who would you be waiting for?"
"There’s a traveling salesman coming into the Steading, we’re waiting
to catch him, haven’t I explained that already?"
"Oh, you mean you’re waiting for us."
"Yes, we’re waiting for you. What the?" The leader spins around and
is confronted by a glaring sight. The servant was not carrying wares to sell,
but actually his arsenal of equipment, the dog turned out to be a wolf, no, not
any wolf, a dread wolf. The dwarf is wearing the legendary Star Armor and
wielding the Star Blade. Along with this is the usual array of magical robes,
magical rings and amulets and a magical shield. The dwarf is smoking a pipe and
has a maniacal glint in his eye. His companion, who appears to be the one that
is following the dwarf, is riding a white warhorse. His armor is a full suit of
golden armor and he wields Pendragon, the sword of Drin. His other hand is free,
he bears no shield. The giant looks around him, there are one, um, two, um more
than two, um, another more than two. Well, it looks like there are more giants
than adventurers. So he turns back and the grin on his face slowly disappears as
he sees the wolf in mid-flight towards his throat. The knight charges his horse
forward and a gleam comes over his eyes as his hand starts to glow. NO! A
paladin, not smite! The ball of pure sainthood strikes one of the giants and
leaves a pair of smoking boots. The dwarf is chasing a group of giants around
the steading sending magical bolts of energy from the sword after them. One by
one the giants crumble until only the leader remains, he is cut and bleeding
from the wolf’s continual attacks. However, the wolf is nearly dead, a small
consolation. But what’s this, the paladin dismounts and sheaths his sword. The
dwarf steps in front of the wolf and stalwartly defends the injured animal. The
wolf collapses once, and the horse nudges it with its muzzle. Out of the corner
of his eye he sees the paladin place his hands on the wolf and the wolf becomes
well. NO!, that - is - not - fair.
The paladin finishes with the wolf and turns towards the giant. He smiles and raises his hand as it starts to glow. The dwarf moves out of the way as he hears the knight exclaim "I - am - not - done!" The bolt strikes the giant in the chest and he knows no more. As he fades into nothingness he hears the two talk.
"Brightblade, can you carry this equipment?"
"Sure Zwr, I hope your wolf’s OK, and you? Can I cure you too?"
"Nah, they hardly scratched me."
We leave this scene and return to the studio. More adventures of Zwr and his companion will follow, once we have found something alive that can give us an objective view. Thank you for joining us on AAA. This is BB signing off for Adventures of Ancient Anguish.
