Dear Diary,

I made it! I got a job at Shinra labs. I've only been out of school for a short time, but I'll have the honor of working with two very distinguished men. Professor Gast and Dr. Tsukita are the best scientists on the Planet. I'll be one of their assistants. It was an honor to be chosen from a long list of applicants, especially since Professor Gast and Dr. Tsukita have just made a sensational discovery. The body of a creature believed to that of a Cetra or an ancient, was found at the site of a new reactor near Kalm. Professor Gast and Dr. Tsukita are going to study it and I'll be there to see them make history. I'm so excited! I start tomorrow at eight o'clock sharp. I'm going to bed early so I can be fresh and alert on my first day.

Dear Diary,

I've been at the lab for three weeks now, and I love my job. Professor Gast is a very nice man, but I'm not sure about Dr. Tsukita. He's barely speaks to anyone other than Gast. I've seen people get involved in their work before, but Dr. Tsukita is like a man possessed. He's the one who named the body Jenova. That's odd isn't it? Naming a dead body? Oh well. . .

For someone who has been dead over two thousand years, Jenova is well preserved. I feel eerie just looking at her. You can't help but expect her to open her eyes and talk! B-r-r-r-r! I'd better stop before I scare myself!

Dear Diary,

It's been almost six months since my last entry. Work at the lab is going fine. I regret to say Dr. Tsukita fired one of the other assistants. Poor Liddy! She dropped a petri dish and broke a sample Dr. Tsukita had been counting on for information. How he screamed at her! All she could do was stand there and tremble. Professor Gast tried to get Dr. Tsukita to calm down, but it was no use. Liddy ran out of the lab with Dr. Tsukita hurling words at her back. I felt so sorry for her! I'm going to stay out of his way as much as possible. By the way Diary, I saw a really cute guy in the hall today. I think he's a Turk. Rumor has it the Turks are some pretty tough characters. At the risk of sounding corny, he didn't look so tough to me. I wonder what his name is?

Dear Diary,

His name is Vincent! I know that because I ran into him again in the elevator. Literally. He was coming out and I was going in. We ran into each other and I dropped my purse. We bumped heads bending over to pick it up. He has the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen. They really stand out under all that black hair! We introduced ourselves while we were laughing. I wish I'd had more time to talk to him. Just before the door closed another Turk called out. Vincent held the doors open long enough to say goodbye to me before he responded. He's so cute!

Dear Diary,

I haven't seen Vincent in a while. I think he might have been sent somewhere for the President. Darn! In the meantime, things are really hopping at the lab. Professor Gast hired six more lab assistants to help us with Jenova. She's amazing. Dr. Tsukita found out some of the cells in her body are still alive. If he was into his work before, he's really working overtime now. I wonder when he eats?

Dear Diary,

I had lunch with Vincent today! He was waiting for me when I left the lab at noon. He insisted on taking me to "The Dove," a small restaurant in the Shinra building. It's very expensive, but he wouldn't let me talk him into anything else. He told me to order anything I wanted. I was so nervous about taking advantage of him, I let him order for me. He has excellent taste. The food was delicious and so was the conversation. I found out we have a lot in common. We talked so long, I was almost late getting back to the lab. Vincent wanted to speak for me, but I wouldn't let him. I eased into the lab expecting to get a tongue lashing from Dr. Tsukita, but he was bent over a microscope. He asked for my help a few minutes later. I don't think he noticed I was late. Whew!

Dear Diary,

Can't talk now, except to say I'm going out with Vincent tonight. I've got to get in the shower and find something to wear. Wish me luck! I hope he'll ask to see me again. I don't have very good luck with men. They think I'm too smart for them. I hope Vincent doesn't feel the same way.

Dear Diary,

In a word . . . WOW. I may never wash my lips again. It was only a goodnight kiss, but . . . WOWWWWWWWWW!

Dear Diary,

I had a nasty fright today. I had a appointment today to get a new pair of glasses, but I forgot all about it until I looked in my purse for change and found my appointment card. Since I was supposed to be at the optometrist's office in less than forty-five minutes, I had to let someone know I was leaving.

I went into the back office to speak to Professor Gast, but he wasn't there. Dr. Tsukita was. He was sitting at his desk with a stack of folders. That was a surprise in itself. I've never seen him doing anything but except work with Jenova.

The stack to his left was small. Each of the folders on his right was marked with a red tag. Written on the topmost cover was the word "TERMINATE." My mouth dried up. I'd seen folders like these before in the personnel office, and Dr. Tsukita was holding the one with my name in his hands.

He didn't see me at first, but when he did, his expression changed, or maybe I should say "expressions," because at least four of them came and went in before he wore no expression at all. He asked why I was there, and I told him. My eyes kept straying toward my folder. He noticed.

He told me some of the workers weren't up to standards needed for the project and he had been assigned the duty of letting them go. My heart sank. He glanced at the folder and looked at me. He asked if I was Lucrecia Davies. I nodded and he suddenly smiled. He said I didn't have anything to worry about. My contribution to the Jenova project was outstanding and I was one of the best employees on the staff.

I was so relieved I almost fainted. Dr. Tsukita told me to run along to my appointment. He would talk to me about more important duties later. Outside the door, I could barely walk because my knees were shaking. I thought he was going to fire me.

Dear Diary,

I met Dr. Tsukita in his office this morning and he outlined my new duties. He gave me more responsibilities. The other assistants are rolling their eyes at me now. Why? I think I earned my promotion with hard work and dedication. It wasn't just given to me. By the way, I had lunch with Vincent again. He asked me out tonight!

Dear Diary,

Last night was wonderful. Vincent took me dancing. I could have danced all night. When he looks at me with those beautiful blue eyes I hear wedding bells. What am I saying? Wake up Lucrecia, Wake up!

Dr. Tsukita speaks to me quite a bit now. It's a big change in how he used to be. I handle samples the others can't touch. I'm thrilled he has so much faith in me, but it makes me feel bad, that the other assistants don't like me very much. I'm not going out of my way to be Dr. Tsukita's favorite. What can I do to make them see that?

Dear Diary,

Today Vincent came to the lab to pick me up for lunch. I didn't even hear him come in. He sneaked up behind me, put his arms around me, and kissed me on the side of the neck. I turned around and kissed him back before I noticed Dr. Tsukita standing in the doorway watching us. He had the strangest look on his face before he looked away. Vincent tried to kiss me again but I pushed him away and pointed. He saw Dr. Tsukita and released me. Dr. Tsukita spoke first, saying he didn't mean to intrude.

I assured him he hadn't, and I told him we were going to lunch. He nodded and we left. I could feel his eyes on me as we went out the door. I told Vincent, we shouldn't be so familiar in the lab. He laughed it off with his usual wit. He invited to his apartment for dinner this weekend, and I accepted. He said he's going to cook the meal himself. Sounds intriguing!

Dear Diary,

Why do I get the feeling Dr. Tsukita is watching me? Sometimes I almost catch him at it, but not quite. He's always very professional, but there is something in his eyes I can't figure out. He smiles at me a lot. I think he's got an experiment going on the side too. He has a private lab, separate from the main floor. He doesn't even let Professor Gast in there. I wonder what he's working on? Maybe he's discovered something about Jenova he wants to verify for himself. He's fired everyone except me and two other women named, Misty and Layla. I feel sorry for the others, but Misty and Layla spoke to me when the others wouldn't. I don't feel like an outsider anymore. My dinner date with Vincent is tomorrow night. Wow!

Dear Diary,

I will never forget our date last night. Vincent surprised me. I thought our meal would be something simple, but he grilled steaks, baked potatoes, made a salad, bought fresh rolls . . . he outdid himself. We talked about our lives and Vincent told me he'd never met a woman like me before. He said he was falling for me. I told him I felt the same way. He came around the table, helped to me my feet and kissed me. It wasn't the same kind of kiss he'd given me before. This one was special and so was every kiss afterwards, and well . . . without going into detail, I didn't get home until early this morning and Vincent's goodbye kiss almost made me change my mind about going to work at all! I had barely had enough time to shower, get dressed and go to work. We're meeting again tonight.

I breezed through work with a smile on my face. Layla and Misty teased me about being in such good spirits. Professor Gast was out sick. I didn't see Dr. Tsukita until after lunch. He was in his private lab most of the morning. I didn't know he'd come out of his lab until he came up behind me and asked to run sample 442A3 again. When I turned around to answer, he took one look at my face and his expression changed to anger.

I was so startled I shrank away from him. He straightened up immediately said he was sorry and he hadn't meant to frighten me. When I asked him why he'd looked at me like that, he said it wasn't me he was thinking of. He said when I turned around and he saw my shade of my blouse, it reminded him that he had to call a supplier who always wore a blue shirt. He said he'd ordered some items a week ago and they hadn't been delivered yet. He apologized again and went back into his lab slamming his door. I guess that supplier is in trouble!

Dear Diary,

Dr. Tsukita fired Layla today. He said she ruined a sample it had taken him hours to prepare. Poor Layla. I didn't even get a chance to talk to her. Dr. Tsukita was so angry, he had the guards come and take her away. Now there's only two of us left. I don't want to get fired from this job. I hope I don't make him angry too!

Dear Diary,

Vincent spent the night at my apartment. We were just cuddling, when he said something that made my heart flutter.

"What if we could go to bed like this and never have to part in the morning, except of course to go to work?"

I was so stunned, I didn't know what to say. That's when his PHS rang. His attitude changed when he answered it. He hung up and told me he had to leave right away. He kissed me, got dressed and kissed me again. He said he'd call when he was back in town. I hope so. I want to finish that conversation.

When I got to work, Misty was leaving. She told me Dr. Tsukita accused her of miscalculating the timing on a very important specimen and fired her. She told me to watch out that I didn't slip up the way she had.

I've got to tell you, I was shaking when I walked into the lab. Professor Gast was back, and not very happy about losing all of the assistants, but he said what Dr. Tsukita wanted, Dr. Tsukita got. He asked me to be careful around the good doctor. I said I would. I talked myself into a calmer state and made sure I did everything slow and careful.

Professor Gast and I worked all morning, then he had to leave two hours early. That meant being alone with Dr. Tsukita. The doctor stayed in his office all day. I passed the time working on the samples Professor Gast had given me.

I was just gathering my things, at the end of the day, when Dr. Tsukita made an appearance. I said goodbye, but he shook his head and said he wanted to talk to me.

That scared me so bad, I dropped my purse. I was glad he couldn't see my face went I leaned down to pick it up. Here it was. He was going to fire me. I put on a brave front when I asked what he wanted, but deep down inside I was dying. Dr. Tsukita said he didn't want to talk about it in the lab. He asked if he could take me to dinner to discuss my performance. It had to be bad if he was going to feed me first. He hadn't done that with the others. Was he telling me, this was the last good meal I was going to get in a long time? I didn't know what to say, so I said yes. He nodded and said he'd have a car sent around.

We rode down in the elevator together. That when I noticed his cologne. I wonder how I missed it before? I guess I had my mind on other things. Now that we were in a small enclosed space, it was more evident.

It was an interesting scent, kind of sweet and musky. Definitely sensuous. I was just about to make a comment about it when I suddenly lost my balance. Dr. Tsukita reached out to me at the same instant I made a wild grab for him. He caught me in his arms and held me close. Involuntarily, I wrapped my arms around him. My heart was pounding. One cheek lay right against his chest. Breathing as fast as I was at that moment, his cologne filled my nostrils. It surrounded me and tickled my senses. My arms tightened around him on their own accord. I felt the tiniest flush of embarrassment, for doing something so out of character. I raised my face to thank him and apologize while I tried to extract myself gracefully, but the instant I looked into his eyes, the only thing I wanted to do was kiss him.

It was crazy I know, but I couldn't help it. My eyes fell on his lips and I found myself wondering how they'd taste against mine. Dr. Tsukita wasn't even a handsome man, but he was so . . . alluring. I wasn't aware that I was running my tongue over my lips until he smiled. I felt my face turning red, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from his. I whispered his name, and he lowered his head as if to hear what I was saying. I think I would have kissed him if the elevator hadn't stopped and opened its doors.

Dr. Tsukita released me immediately and stepped back. I stared into the lobby, feeling a bit dazed. If the doctor hadn't guided me to the limousine, I'm not sure I wouldn't have stood where I was for a while. Once we were in the car, he made no mention of the elevator incident. He made a few remarks about some the places we passed. He didn't seem to notice my silence.

The car finally stopped a small restaurant called the "Golden Heart." I'd seen it before, but it was much too expensive for my salary. A waiter seated us near an indoor fountain. There was a faint breeze blowing across the foundation from the air conditioning. The chair Dr. Tsukita chose put him in just the right place for the breeze to catch his cologne and send it to me. It was maddening. How was I going to look at this man and discuss my work when I was wondering what he would do if I sat on his lap and ran my fingers through his hair? What was wrong with me? I didn't want to look him in the eye because I was sure he'd see the fire in my eyes.

Dr. Tsukita acted as if nothing was wrong. He picked up the menu the waiter had left behind and started telling me what he thought were the best items on the menu. When he was finished he asked me to make a choice. I guess he could tell my guilty look I hadn't been listening. I thought he'd get angry, but he laughed and ordered for me.

While we waited for our food, he told me how pleased he was with my work and that he'd put me in for a raise. I was shocked, but pleased. He promised to include me in the deeper aspects of his research. He also told me, starting tomorrow, I'd have to weekly injections a chemical designed to protect me from any bacteria that might develop on Jenova's remains. He said he and Professor Gast would undergo the same treatments too. Since he was in charge of the injections, I was not to bother Professor Gast about them. I promised I wouldn't.

Our dinner came and we talked about other things, mostly our likes and dislikes. I would never have believed he shared so many of my interests. It was uncanny. The whole time we talked I kept experiencing unreasonable flashes of anger at the table because it was keeping us apart. I could smell Dr. Tsukita's cologne drifting across the table and I wanted to get closer to it . . . to him. I was almost ready to move my chair when he said it was time to leave.

The limo took me right to the front door of my apartment house. Dr. Tsukita walked me to my door. He kissed my hand and said goodnight. It made me angry. Before I knew what I was doing, I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. He acted startled at first, but my lips were insistent. I was rewarded for my efforts by feeling his arms enfold me. He kissed me back. It fanned the flame.

I think I would have gone on kissing him, but Dr. Tsukita put his hands on my arms and gently peeled me away. He said he'd wait for me to get inside. I shook my head and reached out again, but he stepped out of my reach and shook his head. He turned me by the shoulders and gave me a light push toward the door.

Reluctantly I opened the door and said goodnight before stepping inside and closing it behind me. I must have stood there twenty minutes before I started trembling. I went to the mirror and stared at myself. Now that Dr. Tsukita is gone, I can't imagine what came over me in the first place. Was I trying to initiate an affair with one of my bosses? I'm supposed to be waiting for Vincent, yet I didn't think of him all night. Oh my goodness! I kissed Dr. Tsukita! I'm going to wash my lips with soap!

Dear Diary,

I almost didn't go to work today, because I was so embarrassed about last night. I had to force myself. I could smell Dr. Tsukita's scent all over the lab. It made me think of our kiss again, but this time the memory didn't have the same effect it had last night. In spite of myself, I kept wondering when he was going to come out of his private lab. I made a remark about Dr. Tsukita's cologne being so strong and asked Professor Gast what kind the doctor wore. Professor Gast gave me a strange look. He said Dr. Tsukita never wore cologne. He asked if I was feeling all right.

I blushed and said maybe I had Vincent on my mind. The Professor laughed and went into his office to look over his notes. I was washing a petri dish when Dr. Tsukita came out of his lab and smiled at me. I looked into his eyes, expecting a knowing look about our kiss last night, but his eyes were no more different than they were any other time we worked. He gave me some samples to test and went off to examine Jenova. I stood there with my mouth hanging open, then I got mad. I slammed the petri dish down so hard, it's a wonder I didn't break it. How could he just forget our moment of intimacy the way he had? I wanted to go after him and tell him off, but I contained my temper and tested his samples instead.

It was all I could do to keep my mind on my work. It was even harder to keep a pleasant look on my face when Professor Gast was around. I wonder if Dr. Tsukita is seeing someone? Who is she? What is she like? My jealousy had no bounds. Professor Gast chided me about still being in the lab fifteen minutes after quitting time. I told him I was setting out tomorrow's work to save time. He laughed and said he'd see me in the morning. I was glad when the door closed behind him. I waited for a while then turned around, meaning to tell Dr. Tsukita off.

He was standing right behind me. I almost had a heart attack, but I recovered when he put his arms around my waist. I could smell his musty scent even stronger than I had all day. I was in love with that scent. It became him somehow. It made him so sexy, so manly. I'm not sorry to say I was the aggressor. I couldn't hold or kiss him long enough. I wanted so much more, but again he pushed me away. Why are you doing this to me? I asked him. Why do you push me away? I was feeling so sorry for myself, I'm not sure about what he said next, but I think he said something about it not being our time yet. Before I left, he made sure I got my weekly injection, he helped me gather up my things and led me to the door. I tried to kiss him one more time, but he turned his head away. After I stepped through the door, he locked it. I almost turned around and ripped it apart with my bare hands, but kept control of myself and went home.

I just took a shower before I picked you up Diary. Guess what? This is the second time in a row I didn't think of Vincent. What's wrong with my head? Why am I having such crazy thoughts about Dr. Tsukita?

Dear Diary,

Dr. Tsukita called me at home and asked if I could come to the lab an hour earlier. Thinking he might have discovered something crucial, I set my alarm and went to bed wondering what the excitement was all about. I arrived at the promised time and found Dr. Tsukita in his office. He was drinking a purple liquid. He said it was one of his favorite fruit juices and asked me to have a glass. I didn't really want to drink anything, but I didn't want to seem rude so I accepted. It was kind of sweet with a fresh tangy flavor. It was so good I drained the cup. Dr. Tsukita stood up and asked me to come into his private lab.

The private lab was a combination of a lab and a small apartment. There was a kitchenette and bedroom and bath set off to one side. I was expecting Dr. Tsukita to show me what he'd been working on, but he took me in his arms and kissed me. I should have fought him off, but I didn't. I made a promise to myself last night that I'd never kiss the doctor again, yet there I was. I couldn't stop!!! I could taste the drink on his lips and smell that heavenly cologne! We were petting up a storm when a buzzer went off.

Dr. Tsukita swore under his breath and released me. He turned on the wall monitor. Professor Gast, wearing a lab jacket, was humming to himself as he crossed the main lab to the room where they kept Jenova. The door closed behind him. Dr. Tsukita looked angry.

I think that fruit drink must have been a little spoiled. All of a sudden, I didn't feel so good. My head was ringing. I staggered into his bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. I was just about to lay down when the doctor stopped me. When he pulled me to my feet, I tried to kiss him, but he shook his head and said, we'd take over where we left off later.

Somehow he got me out of the room and walked me to the door of the main lab. He said he was going to take me home. I tried to kiss him again but turned his head away. He said I was to stay at home all day because I didn't feel good. He told me to go to bed. I remember nodding at him. He opened the door. I remember a flash of Vincent's face, then everything went dark.

I was lying in bed at home, when I finally opened my eyes. Vincent was lying beside me with worried eyes. I asked him what had happened. He said his mission ended sooner than expected. When he couldn't find me at home, he suspected I'd gone to work early and came to find me at the lab. He'd barely reached for the door when it was opened by Dr. Tsukita. The doctor was supporting most of my weight and I was barely aware of what was going on.

When Vincent demanded to know what was wrong with me, Dr. Tsukita confessed he had offered me a taste of one of his favorite spirit fruit drinks, not realizing it would hit me so hard. (Strange how I don't remember him telling me, that drink had alcohol in it. Maybe he did, but it's one of the things I'm not sure of.)

To make a long story short, Vincent gave Dr. Tsukita hell for not warning me about the drink. He refused to let the doctor take me home, volunteering for the job himself. He dressed me for bed and stayed with me to make sure I was okay.

I was sure he was hiding something. It was in the way he wouldn't look me in the eyes. When I pressed him for an answer, he told me even though I was groggy from the drink, I kept trying to seduce him. I felt my face go red. He asked if Dr. Tsukita had tried t take advantage of me after I swallowed my drink.

I told him no, because at that moment, I couldn't remember what had happened in the lab. I must have looked convincing, because the worry lines dropped from his face.

It was late in the evening, so Vincent made dinner for me. He stayed the night sleeping peacefully. I didn't. As I lay beside him, memories of being in Dr. Tsukita's arms crept up on me. I felt shame and revulsion. I almost woke Vincent up and told him the truth, but I was afraid of what his reaction would be. I knew he'd go after Dr. Tsukita, but what would he think of me? Would he reject me? What if he asked me if I found Dr. Tsukita attractive? I'd be lying if I said I didn't. I so burned up with guilt, I don't know what to do. What if I was acting out a fantasy with Dr. Tsukita I'd been holding inside? Maybe my attempt to seduce Vincent was an attempt to throw him off the trail. I'm beginning to doubt my own morals. Was I a loose woman?

Dear Diary,

Dr. Tsukita didn't my getting drunk, but things have changed between us. For one thing, he spends a lot of time with me. Whenever we're alone, I can barely keep my hands off him. I can't get enough of his kisses. What's wrong with me? Why is he suddenly so fascinating? The last time I had the doctor in my arms his cologne was driving me mad! I felt like I was drowning, but if I was, it was a pleasant way to die. Still, I asked him not to wear so much. He gave me the same look Professor Gast had and told me he NEVER wore cologne. I can't be imagining that scent can I? And how can I forget Dr. Tsukita when I'm with Vincent and forget Vincent when I'm with Dr. Tsukita? Why am I toying with the affections of two men?

Dear Diary,

Vincent told me, he has something very important to tell me. He won't say what it is until the day after tomorrow when I see him again. I wonder what it is?

My feelings for Vincent have grown. I love him so much, but I dare not tell him what's been happening to me. I need to understand why I'm lusting after Dr. Tsukita. The doctor and I bumped into each other today. We were stared into each other?s eyes and before I knew it, we were practically mauling each other. We only stopped because Professor Gast cleared his throat. Dr. Tsukita and I jumped apart. I didn't know what to say. Dr. Tsukita loosened his tie, and told the Professor he'd just stumbled on our little secret, so we might as well come clean. He took a deep breath then said we were in love. Him and I. Professor Gast looked at Dr. Tsukita first, and then he looked at me. He said congratulations, walked into his office and shut the door.

I was embarrassed and shocked. We'd never said anything about love! I tried to pull away, but when Dr. Tsukita pulled me into his arms again, I forgot to set him straight. After a brief bout of kissing, he picked up a tray of samples and gave them to me. He walked away trailing cologne. Why didn't I protest when he said we loved each other? I don't love him . . . or do I?

Later that day, Dr. Tsukita went to make a report to President Shinra. Professor Gast came out of his office and took me aside. He wanted to know what was going on between Dr. Tsukita and myself. I turned away unable to tell him about my confusion and the way I couldn't resist the charms of his partner. Then he asked about Vincent then. A tear slid down my cheek.

The Professor looked away, then looked back. He told me if I wanted Vincent I should break up with Dr. Tsukita, but if it was Dr. Tsukita I wanted, I'd better break up with Vincent because I was playing a dangerous game and I'd come out the loser. He told me Dr. Tsukita wasn't the kind of man you played for a fool. He walked away leaving me speechless. The doctor didn't make it back that day. I was grateful for the reprieve.

It's late evening now Diary. I wasn't going to write anymore today, but Vincent just called. He has a two-week vacation, effective immediately. He asked if I could get two weeks off, so he and I could spent time together in Costa del Sol. He's already reserved a room for us. I called the lab hoping someone was still there. I was expecting to deal with Dr. Tsukita, but Professor Gast was the one who picked up the phone. When I told him why I'd called he gave me his blessing.

"You need to make up your mind," he said. "Maybe this will help."

Vincent is on his way to get me. He says I'm to pack light. He'll buy me new things in Costa del Sol. I'm not going to answer the phone at all if it rings. I need to get away from Dr. Tsukita for a while. If I answer the phone and it's him, I'm sure he'll deny my vacation. Oh Vincent, please hurry!

Dear Diary,

We've been in Costa del Sol for a week. Guess what? Vincent proposed to me last night and I accepted! I'm wearing the ring he bought me. We're going to have a private ceremony in three weeks. I'm going to quit the lab when I get back. Now that I've had a chance to spend time alone with Vincent, I know he's the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. He loves me and I love him. What I feel for Dr. Tsukita is only a foolish girls fantasy. I don't love him. I can't wait to be Vincent's wife. I'm going to hide you now Diary before Vincent gets back with our dinner!

Dear Diary, I'm back. Tomorrow is the day I go to the lab and quit. Professor Gast will be happy for me, but I don't think Dr. Tsukita will take it so well. I don't care. I'm quitting.

Dear Diary,

This should be the happiest time of my life, but I'm so miserable I can't stop crying. It's been two days since my wedding and I'm married to Dr. Tsukita. How did this happen to me?

Vincent wanted to come to the lab with me when I quit, but he got an urgent call. He asked me to wait until he got back. He was only gone an hour when I convinced myself quitting was my job. I took a shower, got dressed and went to the lab. Professor Gast wasn't in, but Dr. Tsukita was standing by a table with a clipboard in his hand. His face lit up when he saw me.

"Lucrecia, you're back!"

Not for long, I told him. I was just about to tell him I was quitting when he interrupted to tell me there had been a breakthrough in his experiments. I didn't want to hear about it, but he wouldn't let me finish. He said he'd only be gone a moment. He dropped the clipboard and ran into his private lab. I was impatient to leave, but I waited. Dr. Tsukita flew out of his lab and rushed toward me carrying a wide mouthed jar filled with a light green liquid. I was just about to ask what it was when he tripped. The fluid splashed over both of us.

My next memory is waking up wrapped in Dr. Tsukita's arms, in bed at the Gold Saucer. The room was full of flowers. Our clothes were scattered everywhere. When I tried to sit up, Dr. Tsukita pulled me back down and told me I was the most beautiful bride he'd ever seen. To say I was stunned was putting it lightly. I almost died when I realized one of his arms was resting on my bare breasts. I fought my way free, avoiding his reach. I was trying to pull the cover off the bed to cover myself, but to my dismay, I didn't leave any for Dr. Tsukita. He wasn't wearing any more than I! I almost screamed when I saw, among other things, his pale shapeless thin body, stringy haunches, and big feet. He smiled at me. I threw the blanket at him taking just the spread for myself.

I turned away from him begging him to cover himself. He asked me why. He said I'd been looking at his nude body for two days and it hadn't bothered me before. We were husband and wife after all. I started to cry. I heard him moving around, then he told me it was safe to turn around. He'd wrapped himself in the blanket. We're married, he said. Why are you crying? I told him I didn't know what he was talking about and we shouldn't be here. He looked genuinely hurt.

I was Hojo last night, he said. He asked if I was feeling all right. Didn't I remember our wedding? That couldn't be, I said. I told him about my engagement to Vincent. He just stared at me.

I looked around for my clothes, and said I was getting out of here. He asked me to look at my left hand. I did. Vincent's ring was gone. In its place was a ring I'd never seen it before. When looked back at him, Dr. Tsukita said it was the ring he'd put on my finger during our wedding ceremony.

I called him a liar and a few other things. I would never do Vincent like that, I told him. Dr. Tsukita shook his head and said he had nothing to do with what happened to Vincent. He said Vincent caught up with us at the Gold Saucer just as the resident justice of the peace pronounced us man and wife. Vincent tried to drag me away, but I broke free and hurled his ring and my declaration of my undying love for my new husband in his face.

"Vincent stared at you a long time," Dr. Tsukita said. "He stared at me too. He looked at you again, then walked away."

I still didn't believe him. I picked up the phone and called Vincent. He answered on the second ring. I told him we had to talk.

"There's nothing left to talk about," he said. "You said it all when you threw my ring in my face. Be happy in the life you've chosen Lucrecia."

He hung up. I just stood there in a state of limbo.

Dr. Tsukita got up in his blanket and walked toward the television. There was a tape hanging out of the VCR. He turned on the machine and pushed the tape in. He turned on the television. I stood open-mouthed as I watched Dr. Tsukita and I taking our vows in the Wedding Chapel. I couldn't believe how I was acting. I was all over him. He could barely contain my efforts to seduce him right then and there.

Lacking anything else to say, I accused him of drugging me. He looked at me pityingly and asked me to take a closer look. I did. My last line of defense was gone. I didn't look drugged at all. I looked more like a woman intent on getting what she wanted. What could I say as I watched shots of myself and my . . . husband in various parts of the Gold Saucer. We were hugging and kissing like we'd been in love forever.

I sat on the edge of the bed and cried. Dr. Tsukita went into the bathroom and came back with a tissue for my eyes. He sat beside me. It didn't make any sense to push him away when he put his arms around me. I told him I didn't remember anything since that day in the lab. He was very concerned.

"Lucrecia," he said gently. "I was going to show you a new vaccine I'd created for skin cancer, made from cells in Jenova's body. I was so eager to show off, I tripped and it spilled all over us and the floor. I was so upset, I almost cried. Can you imagine that? Me crying like a baby? You put your arms around my body to comfort me. When you looked up into my eyes, I couldn't resist one little kiss. Don't you remember? We ended up in bed in my private lab. That's when I asked about your ring. You told me accepting Vincent's ring was a mistake when you'd been in love with me for a long time."

"We'd never talked about love before, but I knew I was right about your feelings when you didn't correct me in front of Professor Gast. I don't know why you accepted Vincent's ring. Maybe you weren't sure about your feelings for me yet. We made love in my lab Lucrecia. We finally expressed true feelings for each other. We knew after that, we shouldn't be apart. That's why we're here. You've made me the happiest man on the planet, my dear wife and I love you more than life itself . . . but . . . if you feel you've made a mistake . . . I'll understand if you want a divorce."

I looked at the television, Diary. The tape was still playing. I was smiling at the camera.

"I'm making this video to capture the happiest moment of my life," I was shouting, holding on to Dr. Tsukita's arm. "I love Hojo with all my heart, and I'll always love him. Do you hear me world? I'm in love with Hojo!"

I closed my eyes. He was right. I'd started calling him Hojo. No wonder he was surprised to hear his formal name this morning.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked him. "Why don't I remember any of this?"

"I don't know," he said. "We'll have you examined when we get back to Midgar . . . or are you going to leave me?"

I looked up into his eyes. I could see them pleading with me. What was the use of divorcing him now? I'd lost Vincent. I shook my head and leaned against him. He smelled so good. He must have put on some of his cologne while he was in the bathroom. The musty scent was soothing, and I needed something soothing after so many shocks like this. I let Dr. Tsukita . . . I mean Hojo, rock me in his arms while I tears slipped down my face. His closeness made me feel better. I didn't even object when he started unwrapping the spread.

Dear Diary,

We've been back at the lab for six months now. I haven't seen Vincent and I don't care. Hojo is ever so sweet to me. We work well together. I still don't remember my wedding but I'm determined to make my marriage work. Hojo took me to a doctor and we found out I had a chemical deficiency that affected my brain. I was on a prescription for a while that stimulated my body into producing more of the chemical on its own. I feel great. Hojo has decided we're going to move Jenova and all our experiments to the Shinra mansion in Nibelheim. A lab has been set up for our use. Since there are terrorist groups out there who dislike the President, we'll take plenty of security with us.

Dear Diary,

Wouldn't you know it? Vincent was assigned to accompany us to the mansion. I thought I would be uncomfortable about it, but I did all right. What Vincent and I had is over. I have Hojo now and no regrets. A face from my past won?t threaten my marriage.

Dear Diary,

I'm sorry I neglected you for so long. It's been five months since I've seen you last. Hojo has thrown himself so deep in his work, he doesn't even come to bed anymore. It didn't bother me when I wasn't his wife, but it does now. Hojo should set reasonable hours for his work and leave it there when it's time to be with me. He doesn't let me help me as much and he's short tempered when things don't go his way.

Dear Diary,

I'm getting tired of this. It's been weeks since Hojo and I have spent any time alone together. Why did he marry me if I'm not as important or more important than his damned experiments?

Dear Diary,

We've been here for almost a year and things haven't improved. Hojo all but ignores me when he isn't ordering me around. He's sent me out of the lab time and time again for some imagined infraction on my part. In fact, when things go wrong, it's always my fault. Nothing I do pleases him. Professor Gast tried talk to him about how he treats me but Hojo cursed him so loud and so long, Professor Gast backed off. I don't know if I can take this treatment much longer.

Dear Diary,

Hojo isn't the man I married. Where is the man who held me in his arms every night and talked about raising a family? Where is the man who listened to me when I spoke? Hojo doesn't have time for me at all. He rarely comes to bed at night, and when he does, he wants no warmth or tenderness from me. One day he yelled at me for getting in his way in the lab. When I tried to apologize, he slapped me. I was stunned. He's never stuck me before. I went to our room and cried. I've been trying extra hard to be careful, but he still finds something to get irritated about. I hate to admit it, but I'm beginning to wonder what I've gotten myself into.

What keeps me going is the way I was raised. When I was a little girl, my mother used to say, you don't walk out of a marriage just because things get a little rocky. She and my father where killed in a freak accident. I wish she were still alive. If only I could talk to her about my marriage. I still don't remember my wedding. I looked at the pictures of my wedding again and I look happy enough . . . but . . . I wish that chemical imbalance in my brain had been discovered before I said I do. I'm not sure if I would have married Hojo then. Oh . . . I don't know. I remember all those stolen kisses and how he'd hug me tight whenever Professor Gast wasn't around. I remember wanting him so. I wish I knew what my emotional state was like at my wedding. I must have really been in love with him to pass up Vincent! I made a vow to myself that I would make my marriage work even if I don't remember everything . . . and I'm trying . . . but Hojo makes it so hard.

I feel cheated in a way. The rare times I see Vincent, he goes out of his way not to see me. It makes me sad. Why am I feeling like this, when the man I married is right here? Why do I miss Vincent's kisses more than I miss Hojo's? I find myself wishing he'd look my way and smile at me . . . just once. What did I expect? I hurt him terribly. I broke his heart. Why? Why can't I remember why? And what am I doing, mooning over him? I have to stop this! I'm a married woman. That's what this ring means. It means love and it's the symbol of our bonding. Why then . . . do I sometimes think of it as brand?

Vincent lets his people guard us. He never comes to the lab himself. Oh Vincent . . . I'm so sorry. Hojo, why won't you touch me anymore? What have I done? I'm really trying to be a good wife. Sometimes I think I'm just in your way. Why did you marry me?

Dear Diary,

My hands are shaking so bad, I can barely write this. I'm so . . . so . . . He hurt me. I want to kill myself . . . I want to run out the gates and keep running. I don't care if I run into a monster. I don't care if I run myself to death! I just want to get away from Hojo! How could he do that to me? I can't even tell the Professor and Ifalna what happened. I'm so ashamed. I never realized just how bad Hojo's temper is. He hurt me, and I don't know what to do.

Maybe it's my fault. I made him mad in the lab again. He snapped at me all morning. I got tired of his complaints and told him so. He snapped at me and I snapped right back. He didn't like that one bit. I raised my chin and he slapped me so hard, it knocked me backwards. I slapped him back out of reflex. I think my actions surprised both of us.

The look on his face might have been funny at another time, but it wasn't funny then. Professor Gast walked in the door from lunch, so Hojo turned away from me. When Professor Gast went into his office, Hojo ordered me out of his lab for the rest of the day. I was glad to be leaving. I went back to our room, threw my lab coat on a chair and laid across the bed thinking to think of what I was doing to irritate him so. Nothing came to mind. At last I got up and went outside to sit in the garden.

I spend a lot of time in the garden these days. Sometimes Ifalna sits with me, but today she was visiting friends in the village. The afternoon breeze was refreshing. It cooled my neck as it flowed through my hair.

I have no idea how long he was standing there watching me, but when I stood up and turned toward the prettiest section of the garden, I saw Vincent. We just stared at each other. My heart missed a beat. He looked so handsome. Memories of our times together rose in my mind. I didn't know what to say. He moved toward me. His eyes never left mine. I held out my arms as he came in reach, but he sidestepped me and kept moving. He was leaving the garden. I cried out his name and he stopped.

I repeated his name softly, but he did not turn around. I walked up to his back and stopped. He couldn't have seen my hand approaching his shoulder, but somehow he knew. He flinched away from it and turned around. We stared at each other again. I saw pain in his eyes, but I saw something else as well. He loved me. Even after all I'd done, Vincent was still in love with me. Whatever I felt or had ever felt for Hojo trickled away like sand before the wind, because I knew in my heart, I still loved Vincent too. How long we stood that way, I don't know. I lost track of time. I only know that when he opened his arms, I went to him. I clung to him as a drowning man would cling to a life preserver. My eyes grew moist and a tear slipped down my cheek.

I could have stayed in his arms for hours, but Vincent loosened his hold and raised my chin with his hand to gaze at me. I was sure he was going to kiss me. I wanted him too . . . but he didn't. He released me. Before I could say a word, he walked away. All I could do was stare after him until he walked out the mansion's gates. His men lived in the house with us, but Vincent preferred a room at the inn.

I went back inside feeling as though I'd lost the most important thing in my life. Back in the bedroom, I laid on the bed trying not to cry. I wasn't expecting Hojo to come in tonight, but if he did, the last thing I wanted him to see were red eyes. I sat up rinse thinking about rinsing my face. Hojo was standing in the bedroom door watching me. From the look on his face, I knew he had seen me in the garden with Vincent.

"First you ruin my experiment, then you slap me. Now I find you hugging your ex-lover in the garden right under my nose!"

It wasn't like that, and I tried to tell him so, but Hojo wasn't in the mood to listen.

He called me a tramp. That made me mad. How dare him call me that? I told him if he was half the husband he was supposed to be, he wouldn't have to worry about other men. Hojo's body jerked as if he'd been shot. The next thing I knew, he charged across the room and dived on me, knocking me flat on my back and knocking the wind out of me. I was so busy struggling to breathe, I didn't realize he was ripping my clothes until a button struck me in the face. I tried to fight him off, but I didn't have the strength. I put my efforts into trying to get enough breath to scream. He clamped one of his hands over my mouth, laughing. I lost the fight. Hojo put on a fresh set of clothes afterwards. He turned back to the bed admiring the bruises and humiliation he'd inflicted on me.

"That makes up for lost time," he said. "Now stay away from Vincent."

I hate him. I hope he doesn't come back tonight.

Dear Diary,

Hojo came back this morning. He apologized for last night. He was really concerned about the bruises and the swelling on my face. He tried to hug me, but I wouldn't let him touch me. He all but got down on his knees to show me how sorry he was, but I've had it. I didn't tell him what I was thinking, but this marriage was a mistake. I don't want to be with Hojo anymore.

Dear Diary,

It's been three days since Hojo assaulted me. When he left the room to make breakfast for me on the second day, I thought he would serve it and leave, but I learned later on, he'd used the phone in the kitchen to tell Gast I wasn't feeling well. He said he wanted to stay with me until I was better. He was as good as his word. Hojo spent the rest of the week catering to my needs. In spite of myself, I have to admit I was impressed. This was the Hojo I knew before.

I told him I wasn't going to come out of the bedroom until my face healed. He agreed with me. Why wouldn't he? He didn't want anyone to know he'd manhandled me. I'm a prisoner in my room. The only forms of recreation I have are reading, watching TV or looking out the window.

I was looking out the window on when I saw Vincent walking by with one of his agents. How I wanted to run to him and tell him I want to end my marriage and be with him! Will he still want me?

Dear Diary,

Today was the first day I went outside. It took the whole week for my face to heal. Hojo allowed Professor Gast and his wife to visit this morning before he went to work. I told Professor Gast I was still feeling a little weak from my bout with the "flu" and promised to come in tomorrow. I was glad when they finally left taking Hojo with them. Ifalna is going to help in the lab in my place.

Dear Diary,

I told Hojo I wanted to stay out of the lab for a while. He didn't seem happy about it, but he didn't make a scene in front of the Professor. I waited until he went to work, then I left the mansion and went to the inn. I had a lie ready to get to Vincent without arousing suspicion, but it proved unnecessary. The front desk was deserted. There was a door behind the counter that led down into the basement. I could hear a man, presumably the innkeeper, giving orders to someone unloading supplies. I grabbed his guest book, found Vincent's room number and ran upstairs to knock on his door.

Vincent looked surprised to see me, but he let me in. I fell into his arms crying. He was reluctant to put his arms around me at first, but I was crying so hard, he broke down and did it. I sobbed out my story to him. Another mistake. Vincent was livid. He wanted to go to the mansion and shoot Hojo dead.

It took some serious talking and a great deal of struggling to keep him inside the room. Revenge wasn't the answer. I poured out my regrets to Vincent. I told him I loved him just as much or more than I ever had before and begged him to forgive me. He forgave me, but first he confessed his love for me too. We were wrapped in each others arms kissing when his pager rang. He wanted to ignore it, but I asked him to check it. What if Hojo had reported me missing?

It wasn't Hojo. It was the President and he wanted Vincent to come immediately. A helicopter was on its way to pick him up. Vincent looked at me, clearly not wanting to go. I whispered for him to go on. Vincent told the President, he'd go outside the village to meet the helicopter. He hung up and held me in his arms once more. He told me to go on as usual with Hojo. He said we'd work out a way to be together soon. He went downstairs ahead of me to see if the way was clear. The innkeeper was still in the basement. I left the inn and went home. Vincent forgave me! My days with Hojo are numbered.

Dear Diary,

I wish Vincent would come back. It's been almost a month now. Hojo is trying to be nice to me. I go along with it, but its so hard to pretend I've forgiven him. He comes in every evening now, but I sleep on the far side of the bed. He tried to cozy up to me once or twice, but I ignored him, so he sleeps on his own side of the bed. Sometimes I can feel him staring at my back. I hate him.

Dear Diary,

Two good things happened today. Vincent came back, and Hojo and Professor Gast made some new discoveries about Jenova. Hojo is back to pulling long hours at the lab and sleeping there too. That works perfectly for me. Vincent has always had an office in the mansion. We meet there sometimes or in other places in the house. He thinks I can get a divorce on the grounds that I was suffering from a brain disorder when I married Hojo. Once that's finished, he wants to make sure I'm safe from any form of revenge Hojo might chose to take. We're looking for a place to live where he won't find us. That might mean wandering off into the wilderness to live alone. There are all kinds of monsters out there, some worse than others. We have to choose wisely.

Vincent is going to quit the Turks. We've already talked about babies and old age together. Vincent uses his position as a Turk to research areas we can live in. There's already one man out there named Chocobo Sage, who's raising a son to follow in his tracks. If Chocobo Sage can do it, so can we.

Dear Diary,

We're close to making our escape. Vincent thinks he's found the perfect hideaway. I'm looking forward to leaving this place with him. The first thing we've got to do, however is file my divorce papers. Vincent has gone to Midgar today. When he comes back, he'll bring back the forms I need.

Dear Diary,

Something terrible has happened. I just found out I'm pregnant and it isn't Vincent's baby! I checked and rechecked my dates. There's no mistaking it. Hojo is the father of my child. This is the baby he gave me on the night he . . . I can't write anymore tonight.

Dear Diary,

Vincent called me from Midgar. He's going to be delayed more two days. He thought my voice sounded strange because I was disappointed. Oh Vincent! The worst is yet to come. Hojo came in this morning and caught me throwing up in the bathroom. I tried to tell him it was just something I ate, but he wasn't fooled. He performed the pregnancy test himself. Less than ten minutes later, everyone in the mansion knew I was going to have a baby. The Professor and Ifalna congratulated me, as did the guards and the small staff we use.

Hojo picked me up and swung me around until I begged for mercy, then he showered me with hugs and kisses. You should have heard the things he said about being a new father! I've never seen him look so happy. He's on the top of the world. I smiled but I was numb inside.

Hojo forgot about the lab and took me shopping in the village for baby clothes. He would have none of my protests. He told everyone who would listen how much he loved me and how much he was looking forward to the birth of his child. Some of the shopkeepers gave us free items. I smiled so much that my jaw ached.

Hojo had an expensive dinner flown in from Midgar to pamper me tonight. He even ordered an expensive champagne. He toasted my health and the birth of his son. He's sure it's going to be a boy. Knowing I plan to leave him, makes me feel like the lowest creature on this planet. Hojo tried out names on me and wondered who the baby would take after. We made love, but I just went through the motions. It was the greatest night of Hojo's life, or so he said. I waited until I heard him snoring before I sneaked away to write this and cry.

Dear Diary,

Vincent knew about the baby before his helicopter landed. We didn't talk for a long time, because Hojo wanted to sit in the garden with me and talk about the baby's room. Professor Gast saved the day, by paging Hojo to see a new slide in the lab. I knew Vincent was watching from an upstairs window. As soon as I knew it was safe, I went to see him.

I expected him to yell or scream, but he just took me in his arms and held me tight.

"It can still work for us," he said. "You don't love Hojo. If you don't want the baby, I'll help you find a doctor. If you still want to keep it, I'll raise it as my own."

That gave me something to think about. Up until that point, I was only thinking about how trapped I was. I hadn't considered what to do with the baby at all. Could I kill it? It was Hojo's baby, and it wasn't conceived in love. Wasn't that reason enough for an abortion? Then another thought set in. This wasn't just Hojo's baby. It was my baby too. The baby wasn't to blame for its father's actions. How could I sacrifice an innocent life? And finally there was Hojo himself. As much as I hated him, Hojo was thrilled at the prospect of being a father. If I divorced him and the judge gave us joint custody, Vincent and I couldn't hide from his wrath. I was sure now, Hojo wouldn't take my leaving lying down. If we ran off to our secret place and hid, I'd be depriving him of the right to see the baby and I'd be denying the baby the right to see his real father. Suddenly my dilemma was far more critical than I thought it was.

Vincent and I make love whenever we can, but that was the furthest thing from my mind then. He looked hurt when I told him I had to leave and think about things. He asked what was there to think about? I would be safe and my baby would have a stable father. If I hadn't seen Hojo's reaction to my pregnancy, I would have thrown my fears to the wind and stuck to our original plans. Now my mother's words came back to haunt me. Especially the part that said a child's parents should stay together no matter what.

What am I going to do Diary? What am I going to do?

Dear Diary,

I avoided Vincent for six days before I went to see him. If Hojo, Vincent and I were the only players in this game, Vincent would win hands down. I never counted on adding fourth player. It wouldn't be fair to Hojo or the baby to keep them apart. I don't love Hojo, but for the sake of my child, I'm going to make peace with him. I'm going to make my marriage work. When Hojo lays his hand on my stomach at night and talks about how much he wants this baby, I can't help but think about how much he cares for it. He's apologized over and over for his behavior that night and he regrets that our baby was conceived in anger. He even cried. How can I hurt him by killing my baby or taking it away? I can't. I just can't.

Vincent cried with me when I told him my decision. He begged me to change my mind, but I wouldn't. I told him, I'm going to learn to love my husband and we're going to raise our child together. I told Vincent to find another woman who was free to marry him because my name is Lucrecia Tsukita and my life is with my family.

I could still hear him crying when I closed the door.

Dear Diary,

We're back at the Shinra building now and I'm in my seventh month of pregnancy. I can't believe I used to be slender once. I see Vincent from time to time. He still begs me to leave Hojo and run away with him, but that's never going to happen. He's just going to have to accept my decision whether he likes it or not.

As for Hojo . . . his promise to show me his love everyday has fallen by the wayside. He loves the baby more than me. It's all he ever talks about. I'm an afterthought. That's okay. I haven't learned to love him in the way I'd hoped, but I'm used to him. I think he's going to be an excellent father. It makes me feel good inside when he talks about how strong and intelligent our baby will be. In fact he's taking steps to insure it.

Back at the mansion, when Hojo found out I was pregnant, he insisted on giving baby and I injections to keep us from getting sick. He was concerned that I might be susceptible to diseases I was immune to before my pregnancy. I was skeptical at first, when he told me he'd made a vaccine from Jenova cells, but Hojo didn't get where he was in life by taking unnecessary risks. I agreed to a series of shots for the baby and me.

Later on I was furious when he told me what the shots were really for. He's been giving me Jenova injections to increase the baby's physical and mental abilities. In fact all those shots he'd been giving me, before I was pregnant were Jenova injections too. Jenova is an ancient after all, he told me. Genetic enhancements from her, would give our child the same wisdom and abilities that hadn't been seen on this Planet in centuries.

It was bad enough he'd used me as a guinea pig. I wanted to rip his heart out for putting our child at risk, but Hojo took me in his arms and told me how we were helping our baby. He reminded me that I was a scientist myself. Couldn't I see the possibilities?

He was wearing that cologne he hadn't worn in a long time. He rocked me in his arms and explained how he wanted to go on enhancing our child after it was born. I listened. By the time he was finished, explaining his plan, it made perfect sense to me. It was my duty to do what I could to aid scientific research. Besides, I knew Hojo would never do anything to hurt his own child.

Dear Diary,

I don't know how Vincent found out about my injections. He came to me every day for a week begging me to leave Hojo. I keep asking him to not to come around because I didn't want any trouble with Hojo, but he comes anyway. Hojo finally caught him at it. I left the room so they could talk. The next time I saw Vincent, he kept his distance. The look he gave me spoke volumes.

Dear Diary,

I'm close to my time now. The baby is getting stronger and stronger. Hojo shows me its progress reports. I wish I could say the same for me. I guess I'm working too hard and not getting enough rest. I'm tired all the time, and sometimes I feel sick. Hojo is sweet to me though. He administers our injections and checks us himself. He wears his cologne all the time now. He still swears he isn't wearing anything, but I know better. He does it just for me, and that's a pleasing thought.

The baby will be here soon. Hojo is looking forward the birth as much as I am. You know something? I think I do love Hojo. I thought I didn't but I do. I wonder who the baby will look like? Me or Hojo? We'll find out soon enough. Maybe after the baby is born, my strength will come back. I hope so. I don't want to be too tired to care for my own child!

Dear Diary,

The pains have begun, but I'm not going to tell Hojo just now. I don't want him to panic! I'll wait till they're a little closer then call. I hope it's a girl, a girl with my smile and Hojo's eyes. Ouch. That was a sharp pain. I thought they weren't supposed to get sharp this soon? I feel so tired. Is there such a thing as sleeping through one's labor? I might be the first. Why am I so drained? I eat right and try to walk a bit for exercise. What's wrong with me?

Ouch! Now THAT hurt! It was a little sooner than expected too. Maybe I'd better call Hojo? No. I'm just being a Nervous Nellie. We haven't decided on a name yet. My poor baby won't have a name waiting for it. I hope we can come up with one at the hospital. OUCH!! OUCH!! OUCH!! You know something Diary; I think I will call Hojo now. I'm going to get off this couch and get the phone. Darned long cords. I knew I shouldn't have moved the phone near the front door. Gee that's a long walk. I hope I make it. Bye for now Diary. When I write the next time, you'll know if I had a boy or a girl!

Hojo closed the diary with a smirk on his face. Getting up from his desk, he carried the book into his private lab where he dropped it down the incinerator chute. Lucrecia was dead, the baby was in the other lab asleep. He turned around and looked at the still form on the table. Vincent lay there with his eyes closed, heavily drugged.

He'd enjoyed taunting Vincent until the drugs took effect. Now it was time for the next part of his plan. He raised one of Vincent's eyelids and stared into the dull blue eye. Good. It was time to get to work. He picked up a pair of rubber gloves and put them on.

"You thought you were clever," he said to the unconscious man. "But I knew you were upstairs making love to my wife. I never loved her. The only reason I married her is because her charts said she was the best candidate for giving birth to my child. You could have ruined my plans if she'd gotten pregnant by you instead."

He said other things too. He gloated and bragged, but he made sure he got his revenge. When the testing and torture was over, he bundled his victim, still alive, but drugged in a coffin and gave the helicopter crew orders to place it in the darkest part of the Shinra mansion's basement. He hoped with all his heart, the deformed man would die slowly cursing his name.

Hojo watched the helicopter take off, and waited until it was out of sight. He stared up at the towering building before him. Now there was one other person standing in his way. Professor Gast. He needed Ifalna for next round of experiments and he was sure she wouldn't come on her own. There was no doubt in his mind he have to kill her husband to get at her. A smile creased his lips as he entered the building. Plans were already in motion to take what he wanted. Ifalna would be on his table soon enough. In the meantime . . . his son was waiting.