Postcards from Infinite Shadow:

Port Royal and Points Beyond

Á qui de droit,

Luggage explained - and Gemini did not take that crack well - Yasumi and I had the annoying task of now dealing with Gemini-as-woman. Apparently she wants to be called Pika. I'm assuming that she's a she because she was obviously exhausted before; I'm guessing that she hit her limit and couldn't hold the male shape anymore.

The he/she thing is going to get annoying shortly. I ought to ask about why she walks around as a he when she calms down. Then again, it's probably for some completely random, flashy reason - so maybe I won't ask.

Our next destination was Madame Bertrande's - again. This time we had Gemini Pika committing acts of hysteria inside the shop to get female clothing. I don't blame her for wanting clothing, but the wailing and weeping was tedious. It was effective - I certainly felt I ought to pat her on the head and say, "there, there" - but I was still bored by it.

I let Pika and Yasumi handle the herd of dressmakers and took up a nice position outside. And then I went back inside after the propositioning got tiring. Idiot pirates.

Pika got her clothes and then decided we should go to the governor's mansion. She had decided to pretend that she's Gemini's sister - and that one makes my head hurt, because of the pronouns, the person, and the fact that that particular story is a variation on one that annoys me every time I hear it. At least it's slightly more plausible with a shapeshifter than it was with that large-breasted Slovakian Harold convinced to play the woman pretending to be her own brother. There weren't enough breast-bindings in the entirety of Sunrise Port to make that woman look like a man.

The governor's mansion happily took us in, although the governor wasn't home. Apparently Gemini knows the governor. But not as Pika. Apparently.

Yeah.

Pika introduced us, and Yasumi was named as our servant - yet another serviceable fiction. We even had time to get settled in rooms before supper. Pika took a bath. I, meanwhile, took the opportunity to tweak probability to acquire something better than that hideous dress. Percy and Mary's anniversary cake was prettier than that dress. And that cake had too many flourishes, was iced in too many clashing colors, and had a fat man in a turquoise toga land on it before it was cut. (It was a good party.) It was past time to put on something better.

A nice French model suited my taste, so that's what I wore. I perhaps should have offered to 'acquire' something for Pika and Yasumi, but I was still annoyed by the histrionics at Mme. Bertrande's - and, in fact, the first trip to visit la couturière - and I was feeling like a little privacy, so I didn't.

There'd been a hint of some lovely Spanish guitar downstairs while we changed. It was out of place - or rather, out of time - but I'd assumed that it was somehow Pika's fault and just listened. Pika, on the other hand, had to ask about it. The musician came to play for us while we ate.

The musician happened to be Uncle Corwin, dressed to suit the style of playing.

The guitar music made sense when I saw him - and I was glad to see him, as always - but I can't say the other two seemed too excited. Yasumi, so far as I know, couldn't have known anything about him, but Pika just wasn't enthused. I suppose this might have something to do with Uncle Corwin's reputation - although by rights, word of his musical skill ought to precede his name as a warrior.

The other two headed off to bed early, but I stayed for a chat with my Uncle. After all, it'd been a while. And if he doesn't stop trying to set me up for sex, it may be a while longer.

It's not that I don't appreciate that he wants to make sure I'm not sexually frustrated. It's not even that I hate the ones he's picking. I'd just rather find guys on my own rather than have my own Uncle procure them for me. I can't complain too much, since he's got my best interests at heart, and I'm not serious about avoiding him if he keeps it up - that was just for effect - I just wish he would have let me decide on my own whether I wanted to be visited by the servant who'd been giving me puppy eyes through dinner.

I'm positive he sent that boy, too, since I was still frustrated about the boat and wasn't handling Uncle Corwin's teasing very well. I kept grabbing the bridge of my nose or putting a hand across my forehead when he exasperated me, and he kept asking if I had a headache - so when that servant boy showed up with something for my "headache"... well, I don't need pen and paper to draw a conclusion there.

Aside from the teasing, Uncle and I didn't speak of anything of consequence. He had his own date for the night lined up, so I didn't stay to chat for long. I had a feeling that there were things he wasn't telling me, but the time and effort necessary to extract whatever it was from him made it too difficult a task for that day. I headed straight for bed; I was tired, and after I chased the servant boy off - probably should have taken him up on the offer, but the day had been too annoying - I got a decent night's sleep.

And I didn't even complain when Yasumi's morning practice woke me up. Even if I had to go look to make sure it wasn't Father or imminent battle.

I spent the morning with my Uncle in a lovely little garden in the mansion; I felt like a little sketching, and he was in the mood for a little violin. So we had some artistic quiet time, he and I; neither of us spoke until Pika and Yasumi came poking around the place. We didn't need words, anyway; the music and the art were enough.

The arrival of my two traveling companions ruined the mood, of course, but I rather expected that. Pika seems incapable of letting things be.

There are other things that happened that afternoon and evening - all unimportant, really. Time drifted - time tends to do that, and I don't mind letting it. Time's unimportant when you're going to live for centuries upon centuries, anyway, and pouring a bit of laissez-faire on top just makes things slide down easier - a spoonful of sugar for the temporally uptight, if you will. Time becomes important to me when I'm living it - and waiting for Pika to feel more rested so we could chase after the junk wasn't the kind of living that makes me pay attention to the hours and seconds.

Milestone number three of our stay in Port Royal was the walk Uncle Corwin, Yasumi, and I took into town. We had a pleasant chat as we walked, although I was close to laughter while Yasumi told my Uncle about stories from Korea she'd heard. These featured a "Corwin" and his brother "Elric..."

Oh, it was too funny.

We stopped at a lovely café not long afterwards. Uncle Corwin ended up sending Yasumi off for a moment or two so he could tell me, "Your father wants to know when you're going to stop wandering Shadow without an escort."

Excuse me? Without a what?

I tried to pump him for information about when he'd received the message - just in case my call the day before had set Father off - but Uncle Corwin didn't want to play that game, and claimed he'd been in Port Royal for a few days. Not sure I believe him still, but I'm going to let it go, because it's not worth fighting him about it.

That turned out to be what he was there for, or so I assume, because he was gone that night. I spent the rest of the day contemplating my father and his ideas of safety - and scowling at things and confusing Yasumi and Pika.

I feel like I ought to find a chalkboard somewhere and write:

I will not sulk because my father is driving me nuts.

I will not sulk because my father is driving me nuts.

I will not sulk because my father is driving me nuts.

I will not sulk because my father is driving me nuts.

I will not sulk because my father is driving me nuts.

I will not sulk because my father is driving me nuts.

I will not sulk because my father is driving me nuts.

I will not sulk because my father is driving me nuts.

It's been years since I had to go write out my wrongs on a chalkboard, but I think it'd be a justifiable exercise in patience right now. I understand that he wants to keep me safe because I'm his daughter. I know that I ought to let him protect me, because I'm not stupid or overconfident and I know I'm not the greatest all-around fighter out there. I know I ought to at least go home and let him try and train me again. I know I should. But I don't want to. It's not that I don't understand all the things he must be worried about when it comes to me - protection being the biggest of those - it's just that we don't communicate well enough for me to make clear why I fight him every step of the way on some things.

I guess that's the nature of parent-child relationships. Which reminds me - I overheard Yasumi and Pika discussing their respective families the morning Uncle Corwin gave me the message. Okay, so maybe it was less 'overheard' and more 'heard a bit and then eavesdropped.' Either way, I'm glad I don't belong to their families. Sounds like there's a rather large number of assassinations going on.

I know; I should talk, right, with the family I've got? But they've all been well behaved for as long as I can remember.

I'm straying well off my original topic, which was Uncle Corwin and the message. I guess there isn't much else to say. I sulked, he left, and Pika and Yasumi gave me worried looks. We decided that we'd go looking for the junk in the morning, and I went to bed pissed off.

We took a stroll down the docks in the morning, looking for a good ship to take out. Pika is apparently one of those children that, when on a family trip, asks, "Are we there yet?" every five minutes. We'd only been walking for a while when she started asking if we were going anywhere. I suppose she's completely unfamiliar with certain aspects of using the Pattern, so it's understandable - it was just a tiny bit annoying after all the times she's used her powers without telling me what she's doing that she'd choose to ask when it became obvious that I wasn't telling her what I was doing.

The important part, really, is that we acquired a ship. Even I had to admit it was a nice little ship - not that I really expected anything else. We acquired the ship, obviously, but only after Pika held on a long, drawn-out chat with the man who was selling it. Then we headed out of port.

We did have a short hold-up while Pika summoned more sensible clothing for us. Next time, I'm doing it myself; while what she acquired for me was acceptable, it was not in the least bit funny to summon things in Father's colors - and include a staff while doing so. I guess it could have been an accident, but I was greatly relieved when Yasumi volunteered to take the staff from me. Even if that does mean that Yasumi shares two weapon preferences with Father.

And someone needs to teach Pika that not everyone wants to see her shapeshift into a nude man. Not like I haven't seen all the requisite parts before, but I didn't want to see Gemini's parts particularly.

At least I can go back to the pronoun I started with in regards to him - which only makes the whole thing slightly less confusing, since at this point I'm used to the female reference. I always thought that Bartholomew's non-gendered pronoun was silly - even if he did make a career out of using it - but I'm starting to see the benefits.

After we changed, I settled down in the front of the ship to try and find the stupid junk. The fact that it disappeared out of the entire Shadow was starting to get personally irritating. But my shifting didn't work. It was either too far away or at the bottom of the sea.

Looked rather more like the latter than the former; Gemini tried to summon things from the junk, but they came out waterlogged. Sounds like someone went underwater sailing to me.

Our next brilliant move was to return to the pink-skied, double-mooned monstrosity into which we'd detoured earlier. Still not making a Trump of it. Still no sign of the junk. We did find a few interesting things there, however.

First, the ocean tasted disgustingly like ginger ale.

Second, there were a few black rock islands, inhabited only by large, ugly birds.

Third, on the only island we could stop at, Gemini and Yasumi discovered a marker that indicated that this place was a stop on a trade route belonging to Gemini's family.

And lastly, the damned place rains ginger ale. I hate ginger ale. I'd rather have a glass of Madame Bernhardt's home-brew absinthe than ginger ale - and the Divine Sarah's absinthe tended to kill people. This Shadow is acquiring more and more black marks in my book...

I found us a nice clean downpour - of water - as soon as Gemini and Yasumi finished climbing around the island. I could have stayed in the rain for a while - but I figured the others wouldn't appreciate it, so I moved us somewhere dry again once I felt less sticky. We had an unproductive chat about what to do next, and then Gemini called his mother.

He came back from the chat with a little tidbit from the junk drawer of his mother's mind (and it's his own fault for giving me that analogy to play with in the first place. I almost want to see the woman - I've got this idea for a surrealist work now...): apparently she'd heard a rumor that Gemini and I had "dynastic ambitions."

I sincerely hope she was joking. Because - really. I wasn't interested before I found out that he was a she, and now that I know - well, I may be a debauched artist, but I only swing one way. She may look, act, and be functionally male, but I know that he is a she, so it's even more not going to happen than before.

These pronouns are going to make my head explode.

After a little more indecisiveness, we decided to find out if there were more markers - there were - and where they went. So we did.

The first stop after the pink skied place - to which we had to return - had yellow skies. Then to a volcanic land, and quickly from there to a lovely Shadow of purple ice; I intend to remember that one for a return visit. The next stop was where I called a halt - we were too close to Chaos for me.

It's not that I'm avoiding the place. It's just that Father is already annoyed with me, and I don't really want to listen to what he'd have to say if I just sauntered into a House of Chaos without warning him first, with no firm allies and no guards. That is, if he didn't beat my ass from Amber to Chaos and back first.

Out of curiousity - at least on my part - we headed back the other way along the markers. The next stop after the horror of the pink skies? Port Royal.

And the next? The coast of China, near our port of departure.

And the last one? Near where Gemini encountered me.

Someone is playing with us. I'm not going to let it get to me, though - it's obviously something to do more with Gemini than with me.

I took the other two back to the edge of my limitations. They were headed farther into Chaos to find the other end of the trail. I didn't have any real plans, other than to be available in case Gemini called me.

Yes, I gave him my Trump. I told him he'd better keep it secret or I'd be very annoyed with him. It was probably a stupid thing to do, but since he's given it to Yasumi now - more on that in a minute - I'm not too worried about it.

Once those two departed for points Chaos-ward, Uncle Corwin showed up and scared the hell out of me. He just casually came up from below deck and offered me wine. I was terribly rude to him, suspecting him of stowing away and only getting more annoyed when he told me that Father was starting to get upset and would really like me to settle down. He kept offering me the wine and being very polite.

To tell the truth, I'm starting to want some absinthe. Shouldn't have mentioned it earlier, I guess. It's about the season that Jacques finishes his first batch, and he always saves me a bottle. I should stop by...

Uncle offered to play me some music, and - sneaky bastard - went straight to his place. I fielded a call from Gemini, who informed me that either his brother or his father had stolen the junk. I am unamused by this, quite frankly, but I don't see any reason to do anything about it. I reminded him to keep the damned Trump secret before he signed off.

Uncle Corwin then called and asked me to go through; I did, realized where I was, and gave in to the inevitable. He played me something relaxing - my request - until I'd almost dozed off.

So what happened then? Why, I got another Trump call. It seems that my erstwhile traveling companions can't leave me alone to relax.

Okay, that's unfair. But I was very comfortable, and Uncle's playing was as lovely as always, so I was a touch annoyed at the interruption.

It was Yasumi this time; she explained that Gemini had handed over my Trump and that she was testing to make sure it worked. She also informed me that she wanted to check because she "might want a fast exit."

Note to self: explain to Yasumi that it might not be a good idea to piss off a House of Chaos and then flee to a child of Amber for protection.

The conversation was mercifully brief, but Uncle remarked on it nonetheless. I told him about Yasumi and her potential escape and offered to leave - after all, it's his place, and it's rude to bring uninvited, angry guests. He insisted we stay - oh, shit. I hope Father didn't draft Uncle Corwin to be my babysitter. If he did, I'm going to have to yell at him - and that's not going to go well at all. Anyway, Uncle insisted we stay for his protection.

Smooth, Uncle. Real smooth. I see through you - I know you're trying to make the fact that you're protecting me, with or without Father's insistance, seem less onerous - but I appreciate the effort.

He sent me off to bed after that - not that I was complaining - but he was in an introspective mood as I left. I'm afraid I was rude to him again, kind of brushing off his insistance that I'm his favorite niece - but I'll make that right in the morning.

And then I have to decide some things.

Do I go home and try to talk to Father?

Do I call him and see if we can talk a little over Trump?

Do I wait here for a few days to make sure Yasumi doesn't call for her quick exit while I'm with Father, since that'll be tough to explain?

Or maybe I can go find a good Carnivale and make up for a few years of celibacy.

Then again, even if Jacques hasn't finished his first batch of absinthe, the Shelleys usually buy up half the stock when Terrence and John over in Haute Terre finish their brewing for the summer. They usually have no problem with lending me a couple of bottles. Haven't had a good binge in a while... but if Father comes looking for me, I'd rather be in the middle of a good fuck than in the middle of a good bout of alcoholism - it sucks to have no mental edge whatsoever when he's in a bad mood. So that's not a good idea.

I almost want to do a little abstract work - but I'll see if the poetry takes the edge off before I go for something so obviously cathartic.

It can all wait for sunrise. And if I get any Trump calls while I'm trying to sleep, I'm going to be so pissed.

Fin.