GHOST PUNCHERS
Season 5 Episode 1
BAD MOON RISING
NARRATOR
Leo and the team are on their way to the legendary LaSalle house, said to be haunted by the ghost of a witch who was burned alive on the property over 300 years ago. Legends say the land is also home to countless Indian burial grounds whose restless denizens wander the forests surrounding the house, what will they find, what will they punch. Find out tonight on the next episode of… GHOST PUNCHERS!
Note: This program episode is protected under the copyright laws of Canada and other countries throughout the world. Country of first publication: Canada. Any unauthorized exhibition, distribution, or copying of this film or any part thereof (including soundtrack) may result in civil liability and criminal prosecution. The story, and incidents portrayed in this production are based on true events. Names have been changed to protect the innocent and no identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. No person or entity associated with this film received payment or anything of value, or entered into any agreement, in connection with the depiction of tobacco products. Only supernatural animals were harmed in the making of this episode.
SCENE
(the scene opens to an ancient Victorian style house. The house is clearly falling apart. The colour is fading, and the wood looks dark from years of exposure to the weather. The window’s, once elegant, are cracked and pieces of the windows litter the floor. The grass surrounding the house is overgrown and some of it reaches up to the thighs. A dark black van with gaudy yellow words spelling GHOST PUNCHERS drives onto the grass haphazardly like the person driving is an idiot with a death wish. Once the van actually stops {and still in one piece to boot} out climbs some men and women, some of them trembling from the sheer amount of fear they have just experienced. A few crawl out of the van, not trusting their legs to hold them after the horror they had just experienced just yet. A couple are completely fine, this is normal. They are carrying small pieces of equipment such as infrared cameras, shotguns filled with salt rounds, sound equipment, electromagnetic sensors, and a pair of iron and silver gauntlets. Then out steps LEO BELMONT like he is the king of the world, full on hip swinging gangster swagger. He is wearing a gaudy neon yellow shirt and an equally gaudy mustard yellow sweater. You can see this guy a mile away. Not the most helpful for sneaking up on things but it prevents him from getting killed by traffic. It works. People called him the human traffic cone for those colours.)
LEO
(While LEO and the CREW are unloading the water cannon from truck, LEO trips and falls. The cannon lands on top of him and he curls his arms and legs around the cannon to protect it. It was expensive, dammit all to hell. He kind of looked like a sloth. It was somewhat adorable.)
Careful, Careful, Careful… Ow!!!!!!
(Grumbles in pain and is rather grumpy)
Even after I said they could ditch the 50-calibre shotgun.
CREW MEMBERS
(groans and one go help Leo. cause he is a dumbass. A dumbass that looked like a sloth.)
LEO
(finally gets the cannon off him with crew members help and brushes dirt off his black jeans)
Thanks for the help!
CREW MEMBER #1
Why are we unloading the water cannon? We can’t use it in the house.
LEO
(With a chipper attitude, like he wasn’t just crushed under the water cannon of ghostly doom.)
Not with that attitude we can’t.
CREW MEMBERS
(One CREW MEMBER giggles in the back, another snorts from behind the camera. Crew member#1 looks nervous, like hungry lion about to attack nervous)
Leo, if we destroy the house, we’ll get sued again. I don’t want to get sued again.
LEO
(Waves CREW MEMBER#1 off, causally dismissing their worries)
We won’t get sued.
CREW MEMBER#1
(Waves their arms hysterically because LEO is clearly not understanding the issue)
You said that last time we used the water cannon! You said that when you knocked over that statue of Jesus! We flooded an apartment building! And the Church next door! We got sued anyway! We are still getting hate mail from the religious nuts!
LEO
(Another dismissive wave)
We will not get sued this time. Anyway, we have a job to do.
CREW MEMBER#1
(walks away with an angry grumble)
Why did I ever take this damn job. Oh, right, the paycheck is good.
LEO
Time to get to work!
(To the camera that has been recording since the CAMERAMAN got out of the van of death.
LEO
(gives that camera a giant toothy smile. The same smile that he sees DJ Joe give to his next potential bedroom partner. Like the charm had been turned up to a 20 on a 1-10 scale.)
Well, we have arrived at the Legendary LaSalle House, out in the outskirts of LaSalle Ontario!
(LEO sweeps his arms in a grand wave. All gestures that LEO does will be grand, bordering the fine line between theatrical and overcompensating.)
This house is said to have been the home of a witch that was rumoured to live here over 300 years ago!
(Gestures to the house behind him)
She was burned alive here as well and it has been reported that whenever anyone comes to the property, they are apparently stalked by either one or two silver wolf-like creatures.
(At this point, a large sized flash of silver crossed the camera and darts into the house with barely a sound. LEO just keeps talking while the CAMERAMAN is freaking out)
This land is also said to be home to an ancient Native American burial ground! How awesome is that? Maybe we’ll be able to see these silver creatures!
CAMERAMAN
(He is shaking and freaking out because he just saw that!)
Leo! Leo! Leo!!!
LEO
(He stops talking because he was halfway through an epic speech dammit.)
Oh for pity sake dude! What?! (This is snarled. He is mad, Hulk mad)
CAMERAMAN!
Silver Wolf Thing! Right behind you!
LEO
(Whirls around, instantly forgiving the CAMERAMAN for the interruption.)
Where?! (This is shouted excitedly.)
CAMERAMAN
(Full on panicking now)
In the house! It ran into the house!
(He is freaked out, like the camera is shaking. That is how freaked out the CAMERAMAN is.)
LEO
(LEO is excited. The first ghost of the night has shown up! This is great!!!)
Grab your gear everyone! Its on!
(This causes everyone to grab their gear and LEO thankfully ditched the cannon in favour of his gauntlets. He really wants to punch a ghost.)
(Everyone runs into the house, used to setting up on the fly. They burst through the door of the house to find the inside of the house was in no better condition than the outside of the house was. The floors have holes in them and the staircase that was on the left-hand side was one poorly placed step away from falling. A part of the ceiling is also missing.)
LEO
(Looks around in confusion. This isn’t right.)
Wait, where did it go?
(LEO starts to look around, shining the flashlight he had grabbed on the way in into the corners of the room, hoping to draw it out.)
CAMERAMAN
(CAMERAMAN is still trembling)
I swear it ran in here!
CREW MEMBER #1 (Who has the boom mic)
Well, it could have gone into one of the other rooms?
(The disappearance of the Silver Wolf Thing has everyone except LEO on edge. LEO is thriving off this shit. The camera captures his glee. LEO is an adrenaline junkie. This terrifies everyone even more. Then one of the other cameras sees a flash of silver on the side closest to the staircase and they all swing towards it. They can clearly see a large wolf/dog like thing run up the stairs. Stairs that shouldn’t be able to hold up anything.)
LEO
There it goes!
(Leo, CAMERAMAN, and CREW MEMBER #1 all race after it into the kitchen. It’s a large old-style kitchen with an old fire stove and everything. The windows and floors are marked in something that looks like dried blood, painted into weird symbols. Half of the symbols are barely recognizable as wolves. The CREW is suitable freaked out, but LEO is having the time of his life.)
Look around, it has to be here somewhere.
(Ignoring the floor, two of the crewmen take out EKG machines. Leo and the other crewmen start looking around the room. Leo open the stove without looking and doesn’t see that the “Wolf” is inside the stove. Everyone stops when they see it, Leo doesn’t notice.)
CREW MEMBER #1
Um... Leo?
LEO
Now What?
(Leo suddenly gets knocked through across the room and through a wall)
(Insert special effect crash dummy)
(Leo used mask cantrip to make his face look the part and ectoplasm to protect himself while looking like he was hit by supernatural.)
(end Special Effect, cut back to real Leo laying on floor in rubble)
Crewman 5
Fuck! He’s Dead!
Leo
(Gets up brushing of dirt, blood gushing from his head)
No, I’m not! It'll take more then some spookie puppy to kill the Ghost Puncher!
(fade to black)
(commercial break)
(fade in and cuts to outside house back to the van where Crew member 3 is patching up Leo, just wrapping up his head despite getting smashed through a wall. DJ Joe is chatting up Crewman 5, who is currently only half paying attention.)
(They take a few minutes to patch LEO up and then they go back into the house.)
(The Silver Wolf runs pass them and up the stairs.)
(Leo, CAMERAMAN, and CREW MEMBER #1 all race after the Silver Wolf Thing and nearly leave the rest of the CREW behind.)
(They start to chase LEO, CREW MEMBER #1 and CAMERAMAN because that house is creepy as fuck. They do not want to be left alone in the creepy house. The chase goes on for a few minutes with some rather comical results. This includes when LEO accidently busted through a wall while trying to ram the creature, CAMERAMAN face planting into the dusty carpet and causing a dust storm, and when CREW MEMBER #1 ends up hanging upside down off the chandelier when they tripped and fell over the bannister. Then after a few hours of chasing this thing, they managed to get the creature cornered in a room. This room is way creepier than the rest of the creepy ass house. The windows and floors are painted in something that looks like b-rate movie blood. The blood on the floors is painted into weird symbols. Half of the symbols are barely recognizable as wolves.)
(The CREW is suitable freaked out, but LEO is having the time of his life. His gauntlets are ready to go. The creature looks like a husky had been dipped repeatedly into silver paint or pet dye. But it was glowing. Like how?)
LEO
Look at that big ghostie! (His expression is pure glee. This is what he lived for. The CREW is more understandably freaked out. This creature looks angry. It growls at everyone in the room.)
CREW MEMBER #1
(looking around the room because the room is creepy, and it would not surprise them if there was a second creature. They pale once they realize that the floor and windows are covered in blood)
Leo? Is that blood on the floor?
(CAMERAMAN zooms in on the blood. You can’t see it, but he is pale enough to be mistaken for a ghost. CREW MEMBER #1 is still freaking out)
OH GOD! THAT IS BLOOD!
LEO
(His eyes are still on the Silver Wolf Thing that is clearly a Husky)
Pay attention! We can look at the blood later!
(The Silver Wolf Thing leaps at LEO, aiming for the throat. The only reason LEO lives is because he was smart enough not to look away. He manages to grab the creature with the gauntlets, and they start wrestling.)
(The rest of the CREW is panicking because LEO is being attacked and LEO is the only one with the gauntlets. LEO is on his back, using his hands to keep the creature high enough to prevent the damn beastie from ripping his throat out. The beast is trying his best to get LEO’S throat, but LEO is preventing it from killing him. LEO moves his head left then right, keeping his head away from the jaws of death. LEO finally managed to get his legs under the creature’s belly and kick it off. It crashes into the other side of the room and it shakenly gets up, but it’s ready to go. LEO is also ready to go as the CAMERAMAN shakenly zooms in on LEO’s excited face.)
LEO
(eyes the CAMERAMAN out of the corner of his eye)
You okay man?
CAMERAMAN
(He is two seconds away from peeing his pants)
NO! I AM NOT OKAY! (This is squeaked)
(Silver Wolf Thing sees that the CAMERAMAN is terrified, and this makes him the perfect target. LEO sees the SWT make a break for the CAMERAMAN, who is screeching like a banshee. Impressive for a man whose junk was not kicked. LEO grabs SWT and punches it with the gauntlet. It disappears with an eerie whoosh. LEO crinkles his nose and looks at the CAMERAMAN, whose camera is shaking)
LEO
(He looks very confused, almost concerned)
Dude? Did you just piss yourself?
CAMERAMAN
(Nods from behind the camera)
Fuck Ya (This is said weakly),I nearly died by ghost wolf, I think I am allowed to piss myself.
LEO
(Nods because fair enough.)
Fair enough
(Everyone else stares at the gauntlets because Damn! They were not expecting that.)
LEO
(Wipes off dirt and wooden shrapnel from the fight. The he looks at CREW MEMBER #1)
You said something about blood?
CREW MEMBER#1
(Pale because they have just witnessed a fight between a human and a ghost. And the human won. But they nod and point at the floor.
LEO (Walks around the puddle of camerman piss and looks down and finally realizes that yes, there is blood, it was on the floor, and he had rolled in it while fighting the wolf. He absentmindedly wiped the flakes of red blood and wood off his pants as he bends over to examine the symbols. Some of them look like wolves but he can’t be too sure.)
LEO
Well, what do we have here?
CREW MEMBER #1
(On the verge of hysterics)
Blood God Damn it!, It’s blood Leo! Why the hell is there blood here?!
CAMERAMAN
(Suddenly remembers something.)
Ummm Wait a sec guys, didn’t we get accounts of people saying that there were two of these creatures?
(That is when they hear a snarl and LEO shoves the CAMERAMAN down as a smaller silver creature suddenly flies over them, clearly missing the CAMERAMANS throat. It lands and skids across the floor, scraping up some of the blood on the floor. LEO scrambles up, ready to defend the CREW. Some of the CREW fire their shotguns at the creature, damaging the walls. It just goes through the wolf, which fazes the CREW. It lunges at the CREW but LEO lunges at the creature, intercepting it. They roll away from the CREW, wrestling. LEO has it pinned but the creature has its jaws around LEO’S covered wrist. Since LEO’S other hand is busy, he has no way of getting it off. One of the CREW MEMBERS disappears but no one notices in the chaos. Both LEO and the wolf start rolling in an attempt to remove the other and the CREW tries to help. The CAMERAMAN and CREW MEMBER #1 are still filming and recording sound.)
LEO
(yells this) Don’t stop filming!
(Then a click is heard and a blast of water hits LEO and the WOLF, dousing LEO and destroying the WOLF. LEO looks up to see CREW MEMBER #2 holding the water cannon from earlier.)
LEO
(Looks at CREW MEMBER #1 with a slightly smug look, which is ruined by the drowned rat look he is current sporting)
See Dude, Told you that it wouldn’t destroy the house.
CREW MEMBER #1
(Grumbles good naturedly because LEO was not wrong, and they are just thankful that LEO is actually okay.)
LEO
(Turns to the CAMERAMAN, Sporting a charming grin. His back is to the door.)
Well, wasn’t that exciting?! We got to encounter not one but two ghosts tonight! Will we see the ghost of the witch tonight as well?
(A silver coloured woman floats behind LEO, startling the CAMERAMAN)
CAMERAMAN
Leo! Ghost!
(LEO turns around, catching sight of the WITCH as she floated past the door.)
LEO
Hot damn! After that witch!
(The CREW grabs their gear and the water cannon and gives chase to the WITCH, how just seems to be watching them as they chased her. She leads them to the basement, which is also covered in blood and wolf symbols.)
LEO
Yo Ghost Bitch! Hey! Stop!
(She turns to look at them. She is beautiful, her hair floating behind her. She then snarls at them and transformed into a giant silver wolf. The CREW freak out, but LEO grabs the water cannon.)
Time to hose this bitch! And keep filming!!!
(He unleashes the water from within the cannon and it douses her with water. It fazes her but does not destroy her. LEO hands the still running cannon to CREW MEMBER #2 and leaps at the witch wolf. The witch wolf dodges and CREW MEMBER#2 keeps the water on the Witch Wolf. LEO jumps at her and lands a hit on the head.
WITCH
(In the background, looking every bit like a drowned rat and this is said like a squeaky rat)
I’m melting, I’m melting!!!! oh what a world!! Damn you to hell Ghost Puncher!
(The Witch Wolf howls and dissolves with an eerie whoosh.)
LEO
(turns back to the CAMERAMAN)
Well, I think that is all of the ghosts that we will encounter for today. We had to fight with three different ghosts that have been terrorizing this property for the last 300 years! Thank you for joining us on another exciting adventure with the Ghost Punchers! And remember there is a world of ghostlyness out there so be safe and call us if you need a ghost punched.
(Cue theme music and end)
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