August 1997
The Nobodys are the greatest band in my opinion to come out of Colorado. They are perverted as hell, but that's just their charm!
Skunk Girl: Names and ages please!
JJ: I'm JJ and I'm 20
SG: No you're not!
Randy: Randy and I'm 24
SG: See, he's honest!
JJ: Calling me a little liar!
SG: Okay what bands are you influenced by?
JJ: Ramones, Descendents, the Dwarves, Angry Samoans have a big influence on us.
SG: Have you ever had a homosexual experience?
JJ: Nope.
SG: Not even last night?
R: Well, if you want to put it this way, we've been in a place where...
JJ: I've kissed guys before, but to have a homosexual experience is doing something sexual that you really enjoy and turned you on...kissing a guy for a laugh...I don't think of it as a homosexual experience. If i was to go "oooh, oooh"
SG: Let's see you guys get it on! (Randy starts touching JJ)
JJ: My guitar player has a crush on me. It's dampering the band
SG: Have you guys ever been attacked on stage?
JJ: I got attacked by a butt in Miami. This guy ran at me with his butt. I guess he tried to kiss me with it. Yeah, I've been assaulted on stage.
SG: What are your songs about?
JJ: Girls and masturbation and not getting girls and pornography, and annoying people...that's about the gist of it. Hooking up with seventeen year old girls...
R: Where's the weirdest place you've ever shot your load?
SG: Ew, that's gross..don't say it that way
R: Okay, where's the weirdest place you've ever ejaculated semen?
JJ: My old work subway
R: I'd have to say in an airplane bathroom on our way to Europe
SG: Okay where's your favorite city in the US?
JJ: Greenbo, Alabama cuz I get to visit Jenny's grave
SG: What do you think of your scene in Colorado Springs?
JJ: I make the scene. I am the scene. We got a good scene in Colorado Springs. It's pretty good, pretty fun
SG: Do you get a lot of touring bands?
JJ: Fair amount, yeah, Colorado Springs is a pretty big town. A lot of bands go through Denver, but the Queers have played there, the Vandals, All, Descendents, a lot of big bands
Randy now starts to ask a bunch of questions:
R: If there was one thing a girl could do while you were playing that would just fucking drive you bonkers, what would it be?
JJ: Just fuckin stare at me and make faces at me, blow kisses or something, keep bouncing up and down , bending over like she's gonna pick something up
R: What is it you'd like to see more of at shows?
JJ: Nudity, more nudity in punk rock!
R: What advice would you give young girls coming up to you?
JJ: I'd say uhhhdo whatever the hell you want and don't care what anybody thinks. If you don't wanna do it, don't do it, if you wanna do it, do it. Who cares? If you wanna get fucked, get fucked.
R: Yeah don't dilly-daddle with our time, it's valuable. Don't sit there and play games with us. If you wanna get down...
SG: Well, maybe the guy should go up to the girl, first.
R: No...
SG: Girls are more shy than guys, I think...
R: Bullshit
JJ: I know some shy guys right here. Next question!
R: What do you think the most sexual food is?
JJ: I would have to say banana
R: I'd say ice cubes. What's the funnest thing and worst thing on tour?
JJ: Funnest things playing, worst things waking up to Justin...getting a morning glory in your face
R: I'd have to agree the funnest things playin', but the worst thing is having to go to the bathroom in shitty gas stations.
JJ: Europe has the worst bathrooms
SG: Do you guys have any weird piercings?
R: I got a prince albert
JJ: We got our eyebrows pierced. See mine? I got it pierced 4 times. It's been ripped out every time.
SG: any of you guys think about getting married?
R: No.
JJ: Mmm yeah. Someday...I'm waiting for them to make it legal to marry a man in Colorado
R: I feel like John Lennon and Oko Yono
JJ: It's Yoko Ono, not Oko Yono
R: Did you ever see that huge press interview they did in bed, and they were naked? It was just like this... (JJ and Randy are laying in bed side by side)
SG: A lot of guys like to role play...if a girl was role playing what would you want her to be?
JJ: A groupie. I'd play that I was a guy in a band...just stop in a few times for the night. I'd be like Luke Duke and she'd be Daisy...that unforbidden cousin..they've always had that attraction...just went too far in that episode.
R: I'd be the elephant man and she'd be Helen Kellar.
JJ: I'd be Johnny Carson and she'd be Bob Hope. I'd be David Letterman and she'd be a starving writer trying to get a job on my show. "This is how you make it in the big leagues...right Paul?"
SG: Kylie, do you have a final statement?
Kylie (the little girl i sit for who happened to be where i was giving the interview but not during the interview...she was watching dumb and dumber and that's a lot cleaner than the nobodys are): i only like a couple songs in punk, but I usually hate it.
SG: And how old are you?
Kylie: Eight.
SG: Maybe one day you'll become a little punk rocker?
Kylie: Never!
Then as they were leaving, the other kid i sit for Kagan was running and fell and broke his stitches, but Jesse from the Automatics and JJ helped him out which was really cute and sweet. Punk rock boys can be nice too!!
