Well, I placed an ad in MRR last October to meet other punks around the world. Many of you that are reading this have come out of that, and I treasure you kids. You mean a hella lot to me. But anyways, one boy really stuck in my mind that I had met. His name was Curtand he lived in El Paso, Texas. He wanted the same things I do - a nice house with a white pickett fence and kids, and always the punk rock. We spoke on the phone a few times, too. I was in love, or so I thought. He told me he loved me and that he knew I was going to be the one that he was going to marry. Sounds great, huh?

Curt and I wanted to meet very badly. I thought he was perfect. Everything I wanted. Prom was coming up in April. We had talked a lot about meeting each other and we thought the perfect time would be at prom time. the only problem was that he had no money to get here.

So my mom told me that for my graduation/birthday present, she would pay his way here. I was so very happy. I called Curt and told him and he was very happy. I bought my dress. It was very pretty. For one night, I was going to be beautiful.

Anyways, the time was nearing, and Curt still said he was coming. I had told him that I bought a gown and that he had better come. And two weeks before prom, I called him and told him that we were going to send him a bus ticket from El Paso to Greenville, South Carolina. He still said he was coming. I was getting very excited. The next week, I hadn't heard anything from him, so I assumed he was coming. He was supposed to be leaving there on Wednesday morning and get here Thursday evening. Wednesday, I called him up just to see if he was coming. No answer. So he must of left. The $250 for the bus ticket did good. He was coming. But I still felt a little wary for some reason. My mom had made appointments for my hair and make-up that Saturday morning. She had bought a corsage for me. the only thing Curt would have to do was come.

The next day, on Thursday, I called him one more time. And someone answered. A voice all too familiar. It was Curt.

This is our conversation:
Me: What are you doing home?
Curt: I don't know
Me: What the fuck? What are you gonna do?
Curt: I guess send the ticket back (that ticket was non-refundable)
Amber: Why the fuck did you do this to me?(I was yelling)
Curt: (Click- he fucking hung up on me)

I called him back a few minutes later and a girl answered. I asked her for him, and then she hung up on me.

I asked my friend Amanda if she wanted to go to prom with me as a stand-in for Curt. She agreed. She told me she would be at my house at seven o clock on Saturday. She was the only one I knew that would stand in for Curt at the last minute (I don't have many friends here) Saturday night I waited until 8:15 and she never showed. I found out later that she went drinking with her ex-boyfriend.

I went to the prom by myself. I talked to people there and had an okay time for going by myself. I danced with a few people.

Curt brought me a lot of heartache. I bawled my eyes out in Psychology class. I cried at the hair salon. It hurt my inner soul to have him do that. One punk rock boy that I truly trusted. It's lost.