| Card | Results | Archive |

The SmArK Massacre Rant
August 30, 2001

By Scott Keith
Bloody Online Wrestling

- Live from Battle Creek, Michigan.

- Your hosts are Manic and Chico.

- Opening Match: Kasper vs Tajiri. Kasper promotes weed because DARE is soo early 90’s. Kasper mocks Tajiri with a bow, so Tajiri kicks him in the face. Kasper goes for a kick, but Tajiri grabs the leg and locks in the Tarantula about 30 seconds into the match. Kasper blocks an irish whip and DDT’s for a 2 count. Tajiri counters an irish whip also and hits the springboard elbow for a 2 count. Tajiri fires away with JAPANESE VIOLENCE, but Kasper blocks a kick. Dragon screw legwhip is followed up by a standing reverse figure four. Tajiri gets to the ropes. Tajiri ducks a swing and Dragon suplexes Kasper for a 2 count. Kasper whips Tajiri but misses a dropkick and falls in the tree of woe. Tajiri goes for a baseball slide, but Kasper raises himself up and Tajiri goes balls first into the ringpost. TIGER DRIVER 91 by Kasper gets a two. I would’ve bet on that being the end right there, but apparently not. Tajiri no sells a punch or two and continues with the shoot kicks. Tajiri sets up Kasper for a top rope rana, but Kasper catches Tajiri and holds onto him, and hits a TOP ROPE PILEDRIVER!! Someone get a spatula to scrape Tajiri off the mat. 1, 2, 3. Kasper wins. **3/4

- Law and Disorder make their way into the arena with the tag team titles. As everyone who has a clue knows by now, Law and Disorder’s contracts have expired and this will basically be their last appearance for who knows when(along with the rest of “Kev’s Crew”).

- Taz vs Homicide. Taz makes fun of Homicide’s error in his last interview, while Homicide makes fun of Taz for looking like Donkey Kong. Both start to brawl with each other as the bell rings. Homicide works in his technical excellence of eye gouging while Taz works his artistic mastery with right fists to the face. Taz takes Homicide down with a takedown as the two start rolling around on the mat. Both do another exchange ending with Taz getting a belly to belly suplex. Homicide chops away and bulldogs for a 1 count. Homicide goes for a sidekick, but Taz catches him and hits another suplex. Tazmission attempt is countered with a Stunner, and Homicide covers for a 2 count. Diamond Dust attempt by Homicide gets countered into another Tazmission by Taz. Homicide passes out with a disturbing smile on his face. Taz wins. *3/4

- A "Warfare" promo, complete with Disturbed "Down with the Sickness" plug is shown.

- Rob Van Dam is backstage warming up for his match against Justin Lawless. Lawless enters the room as the two of them trade a few words. Lawless says that tonight, he’s gone leave with style whether he wins or loses. RVD tells him that it’s all good, because he wouldn’t want it any other way.

- Big Bossman and Bull Buchanon vs Sean O’Haire and Mark Jindrak. If you don’t know who’s gonna win this match, you are indeed a moron. Bossman and O’Haire start in the ring with what I guess is supposed to be a mat sequence. Note to Bossman, do what you do best…punch. Bossman listens to my word as he starts punching away at O’Haire and follows it up with a clothesline. Buchanon gets tagged in, same with Jindrak. Jindrak charges but Buchanon hits the ax kick. Buchanon goes for the early pinfall and O’Haire runs in. Bossman does the same and a brawl with all four men ensues. The referee tries to pull O’Haire out of the ring. As this goes on, Buchanon counters an irish whip and Bossman hits the Bossman Slam on Jindrak. Jindrak staggers up and gets ax kicked in the back on the head. 1, 2, 3. Bossman and Buchanon win. 1/2

- Recoil makes his way out to piss off as many people as he possibly can. Recoil says that it’s stupid how guys like HBK are paper champions, how RVD faces people who are leaving the organization, and how he himself is facing a guy who nobody cared about in the first place. Recoil tells everyone that he scared Triple H out of the BOW, and tonight, he would do the same with Lance Storm. Lance Storm makes his way out and asks if he can be serious for a moment. Storm tells Recoil that he needs to quit his complaining and get on with the wrestling. Storm says that he may be leaving, but he was going out with a bang. Recoil asks why do they have to wait? Storm and Recoil rush each other which ends up being a brawl ending with a dozen referees breaking up the action.

- BOW Internet Title Match: Rob Van Dam© vs Justin Lawless. RVD gets a huge hometown pop as the match starts. Lawless taunts RVD just in case people didn’t know that they’re supposed to boo him. Lawless and RVD exchange mat reversals. Another chain wrestling spot ends the same way as both guys kip up to their feet. Lawless chops away. Arm drag takedown gets held on as RVD rolls Lawless into a 2 count. RVD shoulderblocks in the corner. RVD backflips and goes for another shoulder, but Lawless clotheslines him. RVD lands on his feet after a monkeyflip attempt and footsweeps Lawless. Cartwheel moonsault hits for a 2 count. Lawless flips out of a suplex and German suplexes RVD for a 2 count. Standing switch by RVD ends with Lawless countering a rollup into a small package for a 2 count. Another standing reversal sequence ends with Lawless armdragging RVD over the top rope outside of the ring. Lawless misses a suicide dive to the outside. RVD takes advantage and hits an Asai Moonsault. RVD tosses Lawless in the ring and pins for a 2 count. RVD bodyslams Lawless and hits the rolling senton splash, for a 2 count. Both guys are slow to get to their feet. RVD goes for a swinging neckbreaker, but Lawless backslides him for another 2 count. RVD counters a Lawbreaker attempt with a Northern Lights Suplex, for a 2 count. RVD headlocks Lawless. Lawless counters with a headscissors, and flips over for a pin attempt. RVD bridges out of the pin attempt as the two struggle on a backslide attempt. Lawless twists RVD around and hits a swinging neckbreaker. Lawless flips over a backdrop attempt and blockbusters RVD for a 2 count. Lawless calls for the end, and hits a LAWBREAKER!! 1, 2, 3!! Wait, the ref notices that RVD’s foot was indeed on the ropes, and the match continues. The whole crowd had a collective heart attack on that one. Lawless sets up RVD for a superplex, but RVD pushes him off. Lawless is set up, and RVD jumps off the top with a 5 Star Frog Splash. RVD is slow to make the cover, and only gets 2!! Split Legged Moonsault also connects on Lawless, and that too only gets 2. RVD goes for a springboard dropkick, but Lawless catches the legs and slaps on a Liontamer in the middle of the ring. RVD crawls over and tries to reverse by pulling his way up on the ropes, but Lawless grabs a hold on the ropes and goes up with him also!! Sweet spot, though the referee breaks it up. Lawless goes for an X-Factor, but RVD counters with a legsplit and foot sweep. RVD goes to the outside and hits a springboard senton, but can’t manage to make the cover. RVD covers, but Lawless rolls the cover up and gets a 2 count. Lawless chops away and snap suplexes RVD. Lawless goes to the top and connects with a flying cross bodyblock, but RVD rolls the momentum over and again it only gets a 2 count. Lawless and RVD get to their feet as the adrenaline kicks in and both start swinging away. RVD backdrops Lawless over the top. Lawless holds on to the top rope, but RVD dumps him to the floor with a standing sidekick to the head. RVD goes for a baseball slide rana, but Lawless counters with a reverse powerbomb on the floor. Lawless gets back in the ring as RVD grabs a chair. Lawless goes to the opposite side and goes for a springboard plancha, but RVD nearly decapitates him on the way down with a wicked chairshot. RVD rolls Lawless back in and pins him. 1, 2, KICK OUT!! Lawless just doesn’t wanna job here, or something. Split Legged Moonsault #2 gets a pair of knees into RVD’s ribs as Lawless counters. Lawless short powerbombs RVD and takes a page out of York’s playbook with a springboard SHOOTING STAR PRESS!! 1, 2, KICK OUT!! Lawbreaker attempt #3 is countered with a double leg takedown into a slingshot onto the post. RVD hits a version of the Edge O Matic, perches the turnbuckle, and hits the 5 Star Frog Splash. 1, 2, 3. Awesome match, as Lawless is truly heading out in style.*****

- Lightning is in the backstage area watching the television monitors as he watches on with a look of approval.

- Enforcer and EX are backstage talking with Bob Levy. Bob questions the two of them about if and when they will ever return to the BOW. Enforcer ensures, it’s not a matter of if, but when. Enforcer praises RVD, but reminds him that the two of them still have an impending match down the road that will eventually take place.

-Recoil vs Lance Storm. Recoil charges, Storm flees. This takes place for about a minute before Storm turns around and decks Recoil out of nowhere. Storm rolls Recoil into the ring and headlocks him. Recoil powers out, but Storm stomps his leg down and works the arm. Recoil counters an armbar with one of his own, but Storm rolls through that one and headlocks him again. Recoil powers up and suplexes Storm. Storm gets up and Recoil pounds away. Kick, kick, punch, kick, punch, clothesline. Almost like a videogame code, eh? Storm counters an irish whip but walks into a powerslam. Recoil climbs the second turnbuckle and drops the elbow for a 1 count. Storm regains some momentum though and goes for the Canadian Maple Leaf, but Recoil shows signs of brilliance by actually countering it into an STF. There’s something that you don’t see everyday out of Recoil. Recoil picks up Storm and piledrives him, THREE TIMES and pulls him up at 2. Recoil stops giving a damn about wrestling, and goes for a steel chair. The referee takes the chair away, and Recoil “accidently” nails him. Out of nowhere, Taz runs down to the ring for no particular reason. Recoil is about to kill Storm, so instead Taz kills Recoil himself with a Dragon Suplex on the chair. Taz props Storm on top of Recoil. The referee counts, and it gets a THREE?? No way, heh, Storm wins. Once Recoil gets up and realizes what happens, it’s too late. He doesn’t care though, and chairs Storm in the face a few times before dashing out of the ring. *3/4

- Recoil runs to the back and searches for Taz. Recoil finds Taz who is speeding away in a car. Recoil tosses an employee out of their car and chases after Taz.

- Main Event for the BOW Hardcore Title: Steve Corino© vs Shawn Michaels. Michaels is of course the World Heavyweight Champion, but Corino is determined to show that he can hang with the big boys. Corino plays to the crowd, so HBK clobbers him from behind. HBK stomps away and drops an elbow in the back of the head. Michaels tosses Corino over the top rope and follows him to the outside with an awesome tope con hilo(aka he hit him really hard). HBK tosses Corino back into the ring as Corino scurries to the corner. HBK stomps away and basically destroys Corino without taking a second’s worth of time to catch his breath. Corino pulls HBK and sends him to the outside to buy some time. HBK shoulderblocks Corino and sunset flips him for a 2 count. HBK grabs a leg and starts stomping away at it. HBK goes for a figure four, but Corino shoves him off. Corino hobbles back up and starts to kick away using his good leg. Northern Lights suplex on HBK gets a 1 count, as Corino hits the chinlock. HBK powers out and breaks up the chinlock with a jawbreaker. HBK goes for Sweet Chin Music early, and Corino counters with a reverse side Russian legsweep, which gets a two count. Corino goes to the outside and grabs a steel chair from the ring announcer. Corino raises the chair to jack up the fans who expect a chairshot, but instead he sits in it and applies another headlock. HBK elbows out. Corino counters an irish whip and drop toeholds HBK into the steel chair. Corino covers for a 2 count. Corino backbreakers HBK and works a cross armbreaker. HBK powers out of it and powerbombs Corino. Corino gets up first, but HBK fires back. HBK atomic drops Corino and follows up with a clothesline. HBK grabs the steel and chairshots Corino in the face, sending him to the outside. Yes, Corino is now juiced(also known as bleeding). HBK goes to the outside and systematically takes Corino apart with shots to the head as the crowd shouts at every shot. Six chairshots later, HBK covers, and gets a two count. HBK drags Corino back into the ring, and warms up the band. Corino staggers up, but out of NOWHERE, Rhino hits the ring and folds up HBK like an accordion with the GOAR GOAR GOAR!!! No DQ match, so the referee can’t do anything about it. Bossman, Bull Buchanon, and Quentin dash down to the ring, but so do the Dudley Boyz, Rob Van Dam, Bill Alphonso, and Joel Gertner. Alponso and Gertner easily get manhandled, but otherwise the brawl takes everybody else out of the equation. Rhino runs down to try to beat some people up also. Corino crawls over. 1, 2, KICK OUT!! Corino warms up the band for some OLD SCHOOL MUSIC, and it CONNECTS on HBK!! 1, 2, Quentin dashes down, pulls the referee out, and knocks him on his ass. Corino gets pissed, but when he turns around, HBK hits SWEET CHIN MUSIC!! Another referee tries to rush down to the ring, but Rhino cuts the ref off with GOAR GOAR GOAR!!! HBK doesn’t know what to do, and Corino is just bleeding all over the place now. Fonzie decides to take things into his own hands and climbs into the ring. HBK looks confused, but Fonzie tells him to pin Corino. HBK covers. 1, 2, Corino kicks out. Well damn, Fonzie IS calling it down the middle. HBK looks at Fonzie with a look of amusement in his eyes, and superkicks him on his ass. HBK rolls Fonzie out of the ring and does a crotch chop. HBK backs up and Corino hits the OLD SCHOOL EXPULSION out of nowhere. A referee runs down to the ring. 1, 2, 3!! Holy shit, Corino got the win!! ****1/4

- Corino celebrates, but HBK knocks him on his ass anyway as the two of them continue to fight. The Alliance jumps into the ring and so do the rest of Hardtime. Hardtime is outnumbered though, but still hold their own. A billion referees come down to the ring to try to break things up, but they get knocked on their asses as well. Finally the teams are separated. Corino gloats, HBK is pissed, and the show comes to an end.

- End of Show.

- Last Word: Whatelse can be said? Despite the clique taking a leave of absense, BOW has shown that it can squeeze out killer matches on the fly. Descent vs Randall on Rampage was easily a ***** match in it’s own right, and tonight we got an equally kickass RVD vs Lawless match. Not to mention the main event of HBK vs Corino was excellent too. Hopefully the website will get fixed sometime soon, but that’s another story. Until then, drink your milk, blah blah blah.