gift from heaven

to whom do I owe for this gift
of a life fortune fated to meet
to whom do I pay for the service
it is indeed a service to be praised
I would pay any god if it were proved
that they made this, my fate, so.
for to love is a double present
both received by the giving
this good must, sadly, be equaled
where is the despair I am visiting?
there is a loss to balance my gain,
such is the way to keep joy close to pain
is there a ledger of luck in the sky?
is there a tally of who, where, and why?