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This page is dedicated to something that is the figment of Curtis Mueller's strange and unusual imagination, the magic KABOOM stick, below is the origin and history of the Stick, which today is focus of a strange and frightening cult, but first, just what is the Stick, click here to discover one of the Sticks many weird and fantastic powers...........(the previous link is to one of the pages that are part of Curtis Mueller's Stick Figure World Productions pages, click here to visit them!!)
The Origin of The Stick
The lightning crashed and the thunder rolled, the night time creatures scurried for cover. It was then that a silhouette could be seen in the jungle, moving slowly. A flash of lightning illuminated a face full of terror, Kurtas Muula looked around for some hint as to where he may be, it was hours ago that he was seperated from the main hunting group and now he was lost. The sounds of thunder mingled with the cries of the fierce jungle creature had Kurtas' tiny brain racing, thoughts such as "Me get eated?!?" and "Me fraidy cat!!" were pulsing in his miniature mind, you see Kurtas Muula was a caveman, and as far as cavemen went, he was not a very bright one, but who could have fortold the greatness that would be bestowed on this moronic cro-magnon man on this fateful night.
It was then that the lightning struck Kurtas in the head, it was lucky he had a thick skull, thicker than the average skull too, because miraculously the lightning bounced off his head and struck a nearby tree, with a loud crack, a branch from the tree detached itself , and landed right on Kurtas' foot. "Uga booga mani gunga!!!" said Kurtas (which roughly translates into "Hey my foot hurts!!!"), Kurtas picked up the stick and wacked the tree that it had come from, and with a mighty KABOOM the tree was no more!!! Kurtas stared at the branch with bewilderment and confusion, which were the usual expressions on his face anyway, and said "Grunga munga hoopa chumpa??" (which roughly translates into "What the hell happened then??"
This was the start of a new era in the world, the mighty KABOOM Stick, an artifact of wonderous power, had been discovered by the not so overly smart Kurtas Muula, who later became the ruler of the known world. which by the way consisted of nine cavemen, three cavewomen, six pigs, a crippled triceratops which the cavemen teased on a daily basis by poking it with their spears till it was so furious it had to try and stand up and fight back, which would result in it falling over onto it's back, causing the caveman to howl and whoop in glee (well they are cavemen and to them it was like us watching our favorite TV show...only they had but one choice...The Toppling Triceratops Show) and an enormous pile of dinosaur dung, which the village treasured as there NOW second most prized possession, having taken three generations to reach the magnitude it had.
The KABOOM STICK in the time of the GODS!
Zeus looked down from on high of Mt. Olympus, making sure that the people down below were safe!
He needn't have worried!
This was after cavemen had evolved into self-respecting citizens of great communities, yet they still loved their dung piles!
Kurtass Mullargh was a member of the royal family of Greece. He was a little slow, so no one ever thought he'd actually be king, but he was still a member of the royal family.
One day, Kurtass was running away from the palace because his brothers were making fun of him and wanted to push him in the dung pile and he didn't want to be pushed in, so he ran away! He ran as far as his little legs would carry him, for he was a little short for his age and he had stumpy legs so he ran like a crippled giraffe. The other kids always made fun of him so he'd run and then they'd lay on the ground laughing. That was entertainment!
Anyway, Kurtass was running away and he looked over his shoulder to see if his brothers were still running after him and he ran into a tree! BONK! KNocked himself out cold!
He woke up a minute later and found a stick laying next to him! He picked it up to defend himself against his brothers. The first one reached him and saw Kurtass brandishing the stick, but he wasn't afraid! Everyone in Greece knew Kurtass was a sissy! The brother wasn't worried and continued to advance!
Out of shear fear, Kurtass swung the stick around and it connected with his brothers arm! A mighty KABOOM was heard and when the smoke cleared, his brother was no more! The other brothers saw this and stopped dead in their tracks, but Kurtass could kind of comprehend the sort of power he was holding and decided to get revenge!
He ran after each of his brothers and KABOOMed them! Then he went back to the castle and announced that he was going to take over the place and he ruled happily ever after!
In the Time of Fuedal England
Centuries after the Greeks came across the Stick, an English knight name Kurt Muller was riding his steed through the snow blanketed lands, (well it wasn't really a steed, more like a mule, actually you coudn't even call it a mule really, it was just an rather large pig called Burt, and Kurt wasn't really a knight, he just thought he was, he didn't even have real armour, he just had a couple of bits of wood tied around his chest and a tin pot on his head) anway, he was riding his pig and he saw in the distance a group of real knights who always picked on him, so he directed his pig off the side of the road so he could hide from them, unfortunatly Kurt's pig rarely ever did what Kurt wanted him to do, so the bully knights spotted him before he had time to get off his pig and knock it unconsious and hide. The knights rode up to Kurt and started poking fun at him about his fake armour and his tin pot helmet, Kurt felt like crying so he ran into the forest as fast as his little legs could carry him. The knights galloped after him yelling things like "Gettest thou a real horse pig boy!!" and "Thou lookst so imposing in thine bits of wood thoust pot head!!", Kurt ran and ran when suddenly he tripped on something laying under the snow, he looked back and saw a stick poking up. Angered at the hand fate had dealt him he picked up the sick and threw it as hard as he could, which wasn't very far because he was a ten pound weakling, but when the sick hit the rock 3 feet away from him there was a mighty Kaboom!! that resonated through the forest and the rock was gone. Kurt's eyes lit up as he realised what he had discovered, the ancient Kaboom Stick, a thing of legend that had shown up every now and then in his family's history, he jumped up and took the sick in his hands, raising it on high and proclaiming to the Heavens his thanks for this blessing. It was then that the bully knights arrived in the clearing, Kurt looked up at them in defiance and said "Come gettest thou some!!", the knights dismounted and drew their swords, the battle was joined, but the bully knights didn't stand a chance against the power of the Kaboom Stick, and they were KABOOMed one after the other, Kurt rode triumphantly back to his straw hut where he was promptly set upon by a pack of hungry wolves and the stick was lost to obscurity once more.
The Stick in the days of Religion!
Certis Mellor was happily romping through the forrest on his way to church! He took the same path he always takes, and this time was like all the other times! Certis was the kid that everyone liked to pick on! He couldn't afford water, so he never had any (even though it was free! What a loser!) to bathe with! The other kids liked to call him Certis Dirtis! That made him cry! That was what they wanted!
This day, he was on his way to church and the big bullies sprang out of the bushes and chased him around the hill! Now Certis was not very fast, but when you tumble down a hill because you slipped on a rock you are always fast!
Certis was no exception to this rule! So there he was tumbling head over heels down a big hill and when he landed on his bottom at the bottom he was dizzy!
He smelled something burning, and being the ignoramus that he is, he looked at his butt in case it was on fire! It wasn't, but he wanted to find the source!
He walked for a minute and saw a burning bush! He was afraid, because where there is fire, there is bound to be water! He was about to run away like a jack rabbit when he heard a voice say, "Come hither!" He had no idea what hither meant, so he walked towards the bush in case it said something else! He got to the bush and a voice said, "Reach in and pull me out of the fire!" Being the ignoramus that he was, he did it and burned up his arms! He pulled out the stick and he was filled with a great power! He got scared, raised the stick high into the air and brought it down smack on his noggin! There was a mighty KABOOM and Certis was no more!
Luckily he had a brother so this horribly stupid lineage could continue on for another generation!
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