From: "Kate M." Catharsis part 5 F/F, Scully/Other AUTHOR: Kate M. RATING: NC-17 WARNINGS: S&M See Part 1 for disclaimers and copyright info. --start part 5-- ****** The feel of the air against her face was immediately exhilarating. Lynn's driving was as graceful as her walk. Scully let herself float, watching the dark trees go by, listening to all of the life in the night. The dream flashed into her head again, but this time she closed her eyes against it, not around it. She exhaled sharply and sent the dream right out into the night sky. She breathed deep, replacing the stale air with fresh, relishing the feel of her own full lungs and the solidness of Lynn in her arms. All too soon, Lynn pulled the bike up to the curb in front of an impressive-looking brick apartment building. "Hope this is okay." She hopped off the bike and extended a hand to Scully. "Is this...where you live?" Scully both hoped and feared the answer would be yes. {{What am I doing?}} "Yup." There was the broad smile again, so reassuring and so full of promise. Scully took Lynn's hand and followed her into the building. She noted with some surprise that Lynn pressed the "B" button in the elevator. "You live in the basement?" "Mmm, yeah. It's nice, actually. And...well, you'll see." Scully tried to read Lynn's face, but found nothing there but calm and confidence. The elevator opened slowly, revealing a dimly lit hall. Lynn stepped out and walked down the hall. Scully was surprised at both the darkness of the hallway and the fact that Lynn had not offered her hand this time, and that she both seemed to expect that Scully would follow and to not really care whether she did. Scully followed. The air was cool and the silence was almost palpable. She felt a little alarmed by the unfinished condition of the cement walls, but tried to focus on the rather pleasant view she was getting of Lynn's back. Lynn stopped suddenly and turned to the wall. Scully squinted--she hadn't realized there were any doors in the wall. But they were in front of a grey metal door, into which Lynn inserted an ancient-looking skeleton key. "Pretty old locks in this place, huh?" Scully said, hearing the quaver in her own voice. Lynn did not reply. She opened the door and stepped aside, motioning for Scully to go in. Scully stepped hesitantly into the room, which was even darker than the hall. She stopped a moment to let her eyes adjust to the light, and then very nearly turned around and ran. But she willed herself to stand still and take in the scene that was slowly coming clear before her eyes. The room was small, the walls the same concrete as the hallway, the floor dark wood. There were no windows, and no furniture. The door clicked behind her. Scully's captivity came rushing back with full force, and she thought she would throw up. Instead, she slowly got on her hands and knees, and crawled to one of the walls. She put her cheek against it, and it felt and smelled exactly the same as the walls she had stared at for three weeks. The concrete seemed to soften into that odd, textured wallpaper that had covered the walls of her cell. She felt like she was being welcomed home. She felt Lynn's hands on her back, and did not move as the hands untucked her shirt from her jeans and nudged it up over her head. Scully held as still as she possibly could as Lynn undressed her. The air seemed to grow colder. Scully did not let her mind register the fact that she was now fully naked. She closed her eyes and focused on the silence. She heard a crack from somewhere behind her. Then another. She forced herself to open her eyes and look over her shoulder. Lynn had donned a leather hood and had taken off her shirt to reveal a black bra. A collar had somehow appeared around her neck, and she wore elbow-high black gloves. A whip dangled from her left hand. Scully tried to focus on Lynn's black jeans, which, along with the suddenly piercing green of her eyes, were the only characteristics that helped her connect this frightening figure to the warm woman she'd danced with only minutes earlier. Scully closed her eyes again and crawled away from the wall a little. She heard Lynn's thudding footsteps, then felt her stand just close enough. She could almost hear the air being displaced as the whip rose high in an angry arc. Scully clenched all her muscles and held her breath. The whip came down, and Scully heard it slap. But she felt no pain. She let herself exhale. Again the whip rose, and slapped, and again. She realized that the whip was hitting the wall. Suddenly she felt a splash of silken tendrils on her back. She felt as if wings were fluttering against her skin, and the air around her grew warmer. Warm hands supplanted the silken cords then, and caressed her back, and a deep voice purred right next to her ear. "It's okay, Dana." Scully watched several large tears hit the floor, and was surprised they were her own. She turned and saw Lynn's warm eyes, the hood gone, the gloves nowhere to be seen, a faint smile on her lips. Scully threw herself into Lynn's arms and sobbed, clutching, grasping for something, her cries turning into howls, hot tears tattooing her cheeks. Through the blur of her sobs she saw the whip, looking harmless on the ground, its soft silken tassel spread across the floor like a reaching hand. ****** <> <<>> **** Sunday, June 6, 1999 7:28 a.m. Lynn's apartment Scully awoke in a sunny room and cursed the light. "Damn, could you pull the curtains?" She heard Lynn's throaty laugh. "My, I guess we're not a morning person." Scully squinted up at the smiling figure, who held two steaming mugs of coffee. "I really hope one of those is for me." "Yes." Lynn sat on the bed next to her and held out a mug. Scully took a big gulp and sighed contentedly. "This is for you too." Lynn leaned in for a kiss, which Scully returned almost instinctively, savoring the taste and softness of Lynn's lips. When they broke away, Scully suddenly gasped. "What?" Lynn looked concerned. "I'm naked. I'm..." she trailed off, trying to remember what happened the night before--that is, what had happened after the remarkably soft encounter with the tassel whip. "Beautiful?" Lynn teased. "Yes, yes you are." "Was I...did we...umm..." "Yes, you were particularly tempting, but no, we did not make love. You just slept naked, and rather comfortably, I might add." "Oh." Scully blushed, realizing she still hadn't done anything about her disrobed state, and pulled the sheet around herself. "Hey," she said loudly, "where's my watch?" The realization that it was not around her wrist sent her into an inexplicable panic. "On the dresser." Lynn looked concerned. "Okay. Sorry. Wait," Scully added, "how did we get from that room to this one?" "I carried you," Lynn said simply. Seeing the startled look in Scully's eyes, she explained. "No, I didn't parade you through the lobby or anything. That door"--she motioned to the far wall of the room --"leads to that other room." Scully nodded, looking at the door, surprised that it was as ordinary as any other door. She heard her voice come from somewhere far away. "What do you use that room for, Lynn?" "I store my bike in there, usually. It serves as my garage. That's about it." It was the last answer Scully had expected to hear. "Then...why...?" "I don't know," Lynn shrugged. "Something told me to take you there, and to do so without explaining. I really don't know what made me think of it. But I tried to just go with the feeling and with....with your reaction to the place." "My reaction." Scully shivered a little. "Look, Lynn, there's something I should tell you..." Lynn reached out and pressed her fingers to Scully's lips. "Not now. For now, just relax." Scully tried to comply. She studied Lynn's face, taken with the kindness she found there. "How am I supposed to relax, when you're fully dressed and I'm completely naked?" Scully said suddenly. "Sorry," Lynn smiled, jumping up. "I'll go get your clothes." "Not what I meant, actually," Scully called after her. Lynn stopped in her tracks. She tossed a grin over her shoulder, which only made Scully strengthen her resolve to overcome her hesitation, and follow the path she'd started on with her aggressive words. Lynn knelt on the bed and pulled off her t-shirt. She was not wearing a bra. Scully could not help but stare at her breasts, and instinctively reached out a hand, but immediately dropped it back down, feeling uncertain. She watched, fascinated, as Lynn unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them off. Scully inhaled slowly, realizing that a bra wasn't the only sort of underwear that Lynn had foregone for the day. "I'm...very new at this," Scully said softly. "Geez, what a cliche," she added, laughing. "Don't worry. I'm a good teacher. That's an even worse cliche." Lynn arranged herself in a cross-legged position on the bed and smiled. Scully just waited, trying to breathe. "Got any handcuffs besides those around your neck?" Scully said suddenly. Lynn laughed, startled. "You sure you want to do that now?" Scully shook her head. "No, I guess not right now. But...let's not rule them out..." She could scarcely believe her own words. But something had been released in that room, and something had been triggered. Scully knew there was a lot of terrain left to explore. Lynn just nodded. She took Scully's hands and gently placed them on her breasts. Scully immediately closed her eyes, startled by the softness, immensely grateful to Lynn for taking the lead again. Soon she was falling backward, pulling Lynn with her, stretching out on the sheets and opening herself to the thrumming energy that was collecting in the space between them. She couldn't hear anything but their breathing, her own and Lynn's, and she could not tell which breath was whose. She grazed her fingertips down Lynn's strong back and then kneaded the flesh she found there, from bottom to top and back down again. She tasted Lynn's lips, feeling like she was in slow motion, needing more, uncertain what to do next. She brushed her cheek against Lynn's, wanting as much skin on skin as she could possibly manage. When Lynn suddenly trailed her tongue down Scully's belly, Scully stopped trying to manage anything. She closed her eyes and felt Lynn's hands slide under her hips. When Lynn's tongue dipped into the crevice of her thigh, Scully could not help but look down, and could not help but be thrilled at the sight of Lynn's shock of black hair and her strong broad shoulders. Scully closed her eyes again and tried to relax, but each wave of calm and comfort was followed immediately by a zing of urgency, a lifting of her breath and her nerves into some other state, as if they were hopping to a layer just above the surface of her skin, where they collected and grew and fed each other. Yet the feelings reached deep too, farther down than blood, burrowing beneath even her nightmares. Lynn's tongue danced in circles and spirals, dipped and twirled, blanketed Scully with a heat that made her shake her head back and forth on the pillow, made her tug at the sheet, made her bite her lip, hard, harder, until she opened her mouth wide to gasp for air. Scully heard her own voice cry out and instinctively reached her hand toward Lynn's head. Her legs tensed, her neck strained up off the pillow, and her heart felt as if it had just found the door to its cage. Lynn stretched herself alongside Scully and smiled. "Either I really am a good teacher, or you're a very willing learner." Scully nodded, not sure she could speak. She watched the ceiling pulse, then realized it was the pulse of her own blood, and the clarity of her own eyes, that made everything look sharper and alive and in motion. She raised her head a little and put her cheek against Lynn's again, able now to put words to the feeling of soft against soft. "Safe," she muttered. "Safe and free." ****** Monday, June 7, 1999 10:30 a.m. FBI Headquarters Scully picked up her desk phone for the fifth time. "Would it be better if I left the room?" Mulder said suddenly. "Umm...why?" "You seem to be having a little trouble making whatever phone call it is you're trying to make. Or maybe you're just feeling extremely telephonophobic this morning." "Telephonophobic. Let me guess." "Fear of phones. It's a real phobia; look it up." Scully rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it is. It doesn't happen to be one of my phobias. But actually, yes, Mulder, it would be better if you left the room." He gave her his stunned expression, then quickly got up and walked out. "Dr. Wilson's office." The voice on the other end of the line startled Scully. She'd hoped she'd be leaving a voice mail. "Hello, I...is Dr. Wilson available right now?" "As a matter of fact, she is. May I say who's calling?" "This is Dr. Scully." "One moment, please." Scully cleared her throat. She was still clearing it when Gwen picked up the phone. "Hey, the doctor of love hasn't forgotten her old--I mean relatively new but very important--friends." "Hi Gwen." Gwen could hear the smile in Scully's voice. "Where'd you disappear to, Dana? Did tall, dark, and lovely take you for a ride on her big dykey bike?" Scully blushed. "I'm...I'm not quite sure how to take that," she stammered, "but yes, I did leave the club with Lynn." "And did you leave your senses with Lynn too?" "Gwen, what is with you this morning? You're far too jovial, even for someone as open and optimistic as you are." "Let's just say I took a ride of my own Saturday night. And yesterday morning. And yesterday afternoon. And--" "I get the picture," Scully interrupted. "Actually, I get a very vivid picture. Congratulations." {{I also get a weird twinge of jealously.}} Scully chased away the feeling before it could set up shop in her newly-vulnerable heart. "Thank you, Doctor Scully." "Gwen, I just called to say...well, to say thank you, I guess." "Thank you for what?" Gwen's voice was serious now. "For...encouraging me to follow my...instincts. For encouraging me to have a sort of meltdown." "Meltdown? Wow, it really must have been a nice motorcycle." They both chuckled. "Seriously, Gwen--" "You're welcome, Dana," Gwen interrupted. "Now, when would you like to come in again?" "What?" "I'm assuming you want to make another appointment. I hope you don't think it's all going to be peaches and cream from here on out." "Peaches and cream?" "I really have to watch those cute phrases, don't I?" This time, Scully could hear the smile in Gwen's voice. "Yeah. They're pretty dangerous." "Well, you name the day and time. You've just embarked on a strange and wonderful journey, and I'm betting you'll want some more guidance down the road. There's also that pesky little trauma in your recent past--and I'll guarantee you that's not going to lie down and die anytime soon." Scully sighed. "Okay. I can come in tomorrow, I guess, sometime tomorrow afternoon." "4:00?" "Fine with me." "See you then, Dr. Strangelove." Scully hung up. She shook her head, not sure what was going to happen next. She'd intended to tell Gwen she didn't think she'd need to see her anymore. But that, of course, was ridiculous. She could definitely use a friendly ear, and Gwen was certainly right that she had plenty to deal with, both good and bad. An image of Gwen in a pool with a lovely, mysterious woman flashed across Scully's mind. {{I hope your weekend date knew how lucky she was, Gwen.}} The phone rang, making Scully jump. "Hey." Though the image of Gwen had made Scully feel somewhat warm, the sound of Lynn's voice brought a full-on rush of heat to Scully's skin. "Hello, beautiful." Scully was surprised at the word as she said it, and at how much it made perfect sense. "Beautiful? Wow, you sure know how to flatter a girl," Lynn teased. "I'm just trying to catch up to you," Scully smiled. "You gave me enough compliments yesterday to last a lifetime." "Nah, we've got a lot left to do in that department. For example, your phone voice is almost as sexy as your real-life voice." "Uh-oh." "Why don't you say something sexy, Dana?" "My partner's just outside in the hall." "Unless your partner is Susan Sarandon, that's not very sexy. Try again." Scully laughed loud and long. "Are you meeting me for lunch today?" "Try to stop me." "Good. I'll meet you at noon, at...do you know where Tiki's is?" "I'll be there." "Bye, beautiful." Scully hung up, smiling, flushed. The aforementioned partner waltzed into the office. "Beautiful?" he said, gape-mouthed. Scully gave Mulder a "don't-go-there" look. He held up his hands and slumped into his chair. {{Boy, am I gonna need that therapy session tomorrow.}} The thought made Scully chuckle a little, and kept her smiling the rest of the day. ****** --EPILOGUE-- She doesn't let me avoid the question. "Seriously Dana, I...I know I don't know you very well...and that this relationship may not go anywhere at all. But I'd like to know what it felt like to realize it, if you don't mind telling me." "You mean, what it felt like to realize I want to kiss you all over? And over again?" I turn toward Lynn's smiling face and cannot help but smile myself. Her eyes are soft and they dance over my face. "You're delicious. But that's not what I mean. What did it feel like to figure out you were attracted to women, and in a rather adventurous way?" "Hmm." I roll onto my back again, and think. "I'm not sure that's what I've been figuring out, really." "No?" "No. I mean, that was an important discovery, but I think I figured out something even bigger." "And that was...?" She blows another smoke ring into the stillness above our heads. "How to...move. How to start to...get free. " "Ah. That's a pretty big thing." "Yeah." We lie there in silence. I think, carefully, of the nightmares and their insistent pull, and realize I haven't had one all week. "But the lesbian thing, and the S&M thing, well, those are nice perks," I add. She laughs. Her hand cups my cheek. I turn my face to kiss her hand, and close my eyes. I nestle against her and drift into a soft, floating sleep. I dream, and there are no walls anywhere. --end part 5-- --END STORY--