From: Erinstone1@aol.com

Shrink - Chapter 15
ErinStone1@AOL.com
Rated: R
Spoilers: none
Category: Scully/Slash
Archive: Yes-please make me aware of any final posts to a site.
Feedback: Any/all is welcome
Disclaimer: Scully and Mulder are not mine. I make no profit from this story.

Summary:  Scully decides she needs to take responsibility for her unhappiness.





"This is really good. What's it called?"

"Ummm, let's see, Pasta Puttenesca...  I think." Gail took a sip of her wine 
and added. "Kevin taught me how to make this a long time ago."

"Are you and Kevin pretty close?"

"Very. I've known him since my freshman year in college."

"How'd you meet him?" Scully stabbed at a black olive with her fork.

"My roommate Kathy used to walk with him to a class they had together. He 
would wait in our room while she got ready."

"So it was 'like' at first sight?"

"Oh no, I couldn't stand him. I don't think he liked me much either."

"Really?" Gail nodded and Scully asked, "How did he end up winning you over?"

"Well..." Gail twirled some pasta on her fork, "I went to my first gay 
party." She watched Scully for a reaction but she didn't seem uncomfortable 
so Gail continued, "I was a nervous wreck... I was so worried that I'd see 
someone I knew..." She shrugged her shoulders, "I guess you could say I was 
'gay and ashamed'. Hey, that make a good T-shirt don't you think?" 

Scully laughed lightly and smiled at her. "Go on."

Gail smiled back, blinked a couple times then continued. "Ok, so here I am 
this young scared gay chick, trying VERY hard NOT to be noticed. I was so 
afraid someone would actually talk to me that I was sick to my stomach. I 
remember looking around at all the people having fun and thinking, 'Are these 
people stupid? Why are they so proud of themselves? Do they not realize how 
dangerous this is?'"

"Why did you think it was dangerous?"

"I think because I was so new to it all. I really was ashamed, I guess, and 
probably homophobic. I was afraid of myself more than anything."

"You don't feel that way now do you?"

Gail regarded her seriously, "Once in a while I still get little twinges of 
shame. It's a hard thing to overcome, it was for me anyway. My family· they 
had a lot of trouble with it all. Can't blame them. No one wishes for a gay 
child."  

Scully paused and wiped her mouth, "Gail, if I'm asking anything too personal 
you can tell me."

"No, no, don't worry about that. Scully, I know a whole lot more about you 
than you know about me. You're at a disadvantage. Please, ask anything you'd 
like to know about." Scully smiled at her, that half smile she'd first shot 
at her in the office. Gail's heart skipped a beat. She sighed deeply and sat 
back in her chair, "Scully, I don't know your views on homosexuality. If I 
hesitate in answering a question it's because I'm not sure how you feel or 
how much you'd like to hear. I've been with friends who tell me it's fine and 
that they fully support me. But the minute I mention something that makes 
them uncomfortable I feel them shut down. I don't want to feel that with you."

Scully shifted in her chair, fidgeting really, and finally pulled her leg up 
under her and sat on it. She looked Gail in the eyes and opened her mouth to 
speak, and then closed it.

"What is it Scully? Have I offended you?"

"No. I'm not offended." She placed her hands on either side of her plate, 
running her fingers absent mindedly over the contours of the fabric place 
mat. Gail waited patiently for her to continue. "I guess you could say I'm..."

Gail's stomach seized slightly and she pushed her plate away, replacing the 
open spot on the table with her elbows. She needed to concentrate on looking 
casual. Interested... but casual...  all the time thinking  'please don't say 
'curious' Scully, I can hardly maintain as it is... please don't say 
'curious'...

"...interested in your life."

Gail let out a sigh, stifling it before it blew Scully's hair back. Scully 
continued, "I feel like you're a little bit 'larger than life'. Does that 
make sense?" The look on Gail's face said it didn't. "I guess it's because 
you were, for three weeks anyway, such an intense part of my thoughts. At 
first I dreaded meeting you, and then I really looked forward to seeing 
you..." She stumbled over her words, not knowing what she was trying to say.

"Even though I made you cry?"

"Yep, even though you made me cry."

"You see now that I'm just as vulnerable as anyone else. Just as human."

"I'm starting to. I guess I was a little in awe..." she shook her head, "I'm 
not sure where I'm going with all this." A blush rose in her cheeks. "I just 
find myself wanting to know everything about you." 

"I think I understand." Gail said softly.

"Finish your story about Kevin." 

"Ah yes... Kevin. Well, I was plastered to the wall at this party and I 
looked up... and there he was, coming down the steps. I saw him, he saw me."

Scully laughed, "Uh oh."

"Yeah. I made a run for it. I hid in the bathroom for a while. And then it 
occurred to me that he wouldn't be there if he weren't 'family', so I went 
out and found him. He'd been looking for me. We were inseparable after that."

Scully smiled. "'Family' huh? I like that."

"It is kinda cute isn't it?"

"Yeah." Scully looked as if she were reloading for another question. "Did you 
first start dating women in college?"

"Yeah, I did· a little. I didn't get a whole lot of offers."

A brow came up, "I find that hard to believe." Scully gave her a skeptical 
look. "I bet you got chased a lot."

Gail gave her a surprised look. "Why would you think that?" 

Scully couldn't figure out why she'd have to ask. She felt like she was 
stating the obvious, "Because you're..." she raised her hands toward Gail, 
"stunning."
 
Gail stared at her for a moment, then collected her plate and silverware and 
got up from the table. She walked to the sink and said, over her shoulder, 
"Well that's very kind but at that time I weighed about twice what I do now."

Scully's jaw dropped. "You're kidding." 

Gail turned from the sink to face her. "No. I was overweight. And I had a 
Laurie Partidge hair style... flat, parted down the middle... and it's true 
color is brown, by the way. And not an attractive brown, sorta washed out." 
Gail seemed to contemplate something and said, suddenly, "Exactly like 
college women wear their hair today." She laughed aloud, "Wow, if only I'd 
waited·" She winked at Scully.

Scully was still processing the new information. "Twice your weight?"

Gail turned back to the sink. "I topped out at 230."

"My god, you're half that now."

"Actually, I'm a little more than half. I haven't weighed myself in the last 
year or so but I think I'm around 120."

Scully stared at Gail's back.  "I can't believe it."

"Oh, believe it. Stuff fell into orbit around me. It was awful."

"But to look at you now·" Scully said, getting up from the table with her 
dishes and walking to the sink.

"Scully, I was heavy as a first grader and every year I got heavier. I'm 
frankly more used to being fat than I am to being thin. I've had skin removed 
from all over me·" Gail sighed and turned to look into her eyes. "Would you 
like to see a picture?"

"Do you have one?"

"I might." Gail flicked some bubbles at her lightly and then walked to her 
nightstand. Inside the top drawer was a group of small photo albums. She 
pulled one out and walked back to the kitchen. She handed it to Scully and 
turned back to the sink. Scully looked through the book as Gail loaded the 
dish washer.

"You're not in here." Scully said after a few moments.

Gail came around behind her and looked over her shoulder at the first two 
pictures. "That's Kevin there," she pointed to a handsome young man with a 
goatee, and that's me behind him." When she pointed to herself Scully's jaw 
hung limp.

The woman in the picture was quite overweight. Her hair hung limply around 
her face. She had her hands resting on Kevin's shoulders. The fingers were 
pudgy. Scully looked more closely. The eyes. The woman was Gail, she could 
see it in her eyes. All of her other features seemed to be hidden under her 
excessive weight.

"My God. This looks nothing like you Gail."

"Thank you." Gail said, smiling.

"How long ago·" Scully's question hung in the air.

"I dropped most of it about four years ago."

"So it hasn't been that long." Scully flipped through the other pictures.

"Not too long, no."

"How?"

"Did I take it off? Well, I know this is going to sound simple but the fact 
is that I just didn't need it anymore."

Scully shot her a confused look and Gail smiled at her. She turned her 
attention back to the dishwasher as she tried to explain.

"I was abused as a kid. I put on weight as a way to insulate myself."

"I don't know if I understand." Scully stated simply.

A shrill ring startled both of them.

Gail looked gravely at Scully as the red head walked slowly to the small 
phone  table and checked the caller ID. "Out of area." She said flatly as she 
turned on the recording equipment.

Gail walked over to the phone. Her hand shook as she lifted the receiver. 
Scully slipped on the headphones.

"Hello?"

"Doctor! You picked up! Guess it takes a beating to get you to respond huh? 
Now I know how to get you to talk to me. How've you been?" Pelt's voice came 
across the line.

Gail's stomach churned. "Not good Bob."

"Really? Why's that?"

"I think you know why." Gail looked at Scully, her face pale. Scully nodded 
toward her and reached for her hand, squeezing it lightly. 

She whispered, "Keep him talking..."

"You're not alone are you?"

Gail didn't know how to answer him. She looked to Scully.

She whispered, "Tell him the truth."

"No Bob, I'm not alone."

"Date?"

"No. Not a date."

"Really? Because I saw her come in tonight Doc."

Scully's eyes widened. Gail's did the same.

"Where are you?"

"I'm close Doc, very close."

"What do you want Bob? Why are you doing this?" Gail's fright was quickly 
turning to anger.

"I want to hurt you Doc. I want to hurt you like you hurt me. All you people 
think you can help. But you don't. None of you ever did."

The women stared at each other for a few moments.

"Are you going to fuck her Doc?"

Gail was startled, "What?"

"You didn't think I knew you were a queer? Of course I knew. I know 
everything about you. So, the red head. You gonna take her to bed?"

"It's not like that. She's here to protect me."

"That scrawny little thing? Protect you?"

"She's got a big gun."

"Well. Good for her. If I were you I'd leave her alone. Don't want to 
distract her now. Know what I mean?"

"I told you it wasn't like that."

Pelt chuckled. "Well if it's not like that then I find myself wondering... ya 
know... why she had such trouble getting dressed this morning."

Scully felt sick. She looked at Gail with obvious alarm and Gail knew at that 
moment he'd been watching Scully as well.

"What are you talking about?" She said softly into the phone.

"She had all these clothes laid out on her bed. She changed and changed... 
just couldn't decide I guess. I think she wants to impress you Doc. As far as 
I can tell she wore about the sleaziest thing she could come up with."

Scully ran a hand across her forehead and closed her eyes. Gail stared at 
her. 

"She wants you Doc. I know women and that one wants you. It's a shame really."

"Why's that?"

"Because you don't have much time left.  In the scheme of things· not much 
time at all."

A chill creeped it's way across Gail's back.

"Bye now Dr. Aris. Sleep well ya hear?"

A soft click and then silence.


-end-