Written by: Spike Feresten. Directed by: Andy Ackerman. Broadcasted: October 30, 1997 for the first time. Stars: Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richards, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Toby Huss (as Jack), Dana Gould (as Frankie Merman), and Wilford Brimley (as Henry Atkins, Postmaster General).

[Setting: Jerry's Apartment]

JERRY: (On the phone) Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Uh-huh.

(George sees Jerry's in a rut, and decides to help him out)

GEORGE: (Knocks on the counter; in a muffled voice) Chinese food!

JERRY: (Through phone) Oh! There's my Chinese food. I gotta run. (Hangs up, points at George) All you.

GEORGE: Who was it?

JERRY: I did a show for a car dealership and they're getting me a new Saab.

GEORGE: What about your old car? They couldn't get Kramer's blood out of it?

JERRY: No, the engine clotted. You know who set this whole thing up for me? Frank Merman.

GEORGE: "Fragile" Frankie Merman? I never liked that guy.

JERRY: Why? He's harmless.

GEORGE: Every summer you guys went to camp together. I was jealous. Felt like he was the summer me.

JERRY: He was not the summer you. Besides, you had a summer me: Whitey Fisk. The guy who snuck you into "Last Tango in Paris".

GEORGE: (Admitting) I made him up.

JERRY: So, you never saw "Last Tango in Paris"?

GEORGE: No.

JERRY: Too bad. It was erotic.

(Kramer enters)

KRAMER: Well.. I've had it with these jack-booted thugs!

JERRY: "Pottery Barn"?

KRAMER: (Holding up Pottery Barn magazines) I got three "Pottery Barn" catalogs in one day. That makes eight this month!

GEORGE: (Looking at a magazine cover) Mira Sorvino : Think she'd go out with me?

JERRY: (To Kramer) Why don't you just throw 'em out?

KRAMER: Oh, no. I've been saving them up here in your apartment. And now.. It's payback time. "Pottery Barn" is in for a world of hurt.

JERRY: (Taking one of the catalogs) Can I have one? I need one of those old-looking phones. (Turns to George) So, you wanna grab a bite?

GEORGE: I can't. I gotta make the weekly call to the folks.

JERRY: So call now.

GEORGE: I gotta prep. I need a couple of anecdotes, a few "you-were-right-about's". It's a whole procedure.. Wasn't Fragile Frankie the one that used to run into the woods ever time he got upset?

JERRY: (Nodding) That's him.

GEORGE: Is he still nuts?

JERRY: What do you think? They gave me a car for thirty minutes of "So, who's from out of town?"

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Monk's Coffee Shop]

(Puddy and Elaine are at the end of dinner)

PUDDY: Seriously, is this the best okra you've ever had, or what?

ELAINE: Mmm.. De-lish.

PUDDY: "Delish"?

ELAINE: Delish. You know.. short for delicious.

PUDDY: Oh, like "scrump".

ELAINE: ..Yeah.

PUDDY: (Leaving) I'm gonna be late. See ya later. (Exits)

(Jack, a man at the next booth, turns to Elaine)

JACK: Excuse me, can I borrow your ketchup?

ELAINE: (Handing it to him) Oh, sure.

JACK: Thank you.

(A harp sounds as Elaine looks at Jack's smiling face)

(Scene ends)
[Setting: The Costanza house]

ESTELLE: (Answering the phone) Hello?

GEORGE: Hey, it's Georgie.

ESTELLE: Let me put your father on the phone.

GEORGE: Ma!

(She hands it to Frank)

FRANK: Who is this?

GEORGE: Dad, it's me. Hey, listen, I was at Fortunoff's the other day, and, you know what, you were right..

ESTELLE: (In a muffled voice) Chinese food! FRANK: (Hanging up) Sorry, George. Our Chinese food just came. Talk to you later.

GEORGE: (To himself) Chinese food?

(Scene ends)
[Setting: NYC Street]

(Kramer, with a handful of catalogs, stands outside the Pottery Barn store. Opening the door, he throws the booklets onto the ground)

KRAMER: Hey, you like sending out catalogs?! How do you like gettin' 'em back?!

(Kramer waits for a reaction from the employees, but obvously doesn't get one)

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Jerry's apartment]

JERRY: So, maybe they had Chinese food.

GEORGE: After dark? Please. At their age, that's like swallowing stun grenades.

JERRY: Well, there's one way to check. Where there's Chinese food, there's leftovers.

(Elaine enters)

ELAIEN: Well, Gentlemen, 'Lainie is.. in love.

GEORGE: (Apathetic) That's dynamite. (Turns back to Jerry) Yeah, I'll look for the Chinese food leftovers.

ELAINE: Hey, hey, hey! (Has their attention) I met this guy! And it was like this, totally unreal, fairy-tale moment.

JERRY: (Joking) It wasn't Whitey Fisk, was it?

ELAINE: Oh, George's friend? Whatever happened to him?

GEORGE: (Nervous) Nothing. Uh, I don't know. I gotta go.

JERRY: So, this is beautiful. You, and Puddy, and this new guy. In a big pot of love stew.

ELAINE: Oh, yeah.. Puddy. Well, I won't fire him until I see if this new guy can.. handle the workload.

(Kramer enters)

KRAMER: Will you look at this?! More catalogs! "Omaha Steaks", "Mac Warehouse", "Newsweek"?! I can't stop all these companies - So, I'm gonna attack this problem at the choke-point. JERRY: Stop the mail?

KRAMER: (Thinks) That's.. even better.

(Scene ends)
[Setting: NYC Street]

(Frankie and Jerry meet aside a large van)

FRANKIE: Jerry!

JERRY: Hey, Frankie! So, where's the car?

FRANKIE: This is it.

JERRY: ..Inside the van?

FRANKIE: It is the van! Don't you remember? We always talked about how cool it would be to have a van and just drive.

JERRY: We were ten.

FRANKIE: (Holding out the key) Come on. Let's take it for a spin.

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Jerry's Apartment]

JERRY: I don't want a van!

ELAINE: Well, just tell him you want the Saab.

JERRY: You don't understand: this is Fragile Frankie Merman. When we were in camp, if you upset him, he'd run out to the woods, dig a hole, and sit in it.

ELAINE: Well, I have an idea. Keep the van and get a bumper sticker that says, "If this van's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'."

JERRY: (Sarcastic) Always helpful.

(Scene ends)
[Setting: The Costanza house]

(Estelle answers the door. It's George)

ESTELLE: Oh, Georgie. What are you doing here?

GEORGE: Just dropped in for a visit. You, uh, you never called me back.

ESTELLE: Uh.. the phone broke.

FRANK: Well, we got to get moving.

GEORGE: What? Where are you going?

FRANK: We have a catered affair.

GEORGE: You're going like that?!

FRANK: (Leaving the room) It's creative black tie. (To Estelle) Move, woman. (Exits with Estelle)

(George quickly checks the fridgerator)

GEORGE: No Chinese leftovers.. George is getting suspicious!

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Monk's Coffee Shop]

(Jack enters)

JACK: Elaine, I'm sorry I'm late. (The same harps sounds as Elaine looks at Jack's face) I'm gonna be on the can. (Leaves for the bathroom)

ELAINE: Okay, Jack. (To Ruthie Cohen, the cashier) Can I use your phone?

RUTHIE: Sure.

ELAINE: (After dialing) Puddy? It's Elaine. We're through. Yeah, that's right. Again.

(Scene ends)
[Setting: NYC Street]

(Jerry and Frankie, driving in Jerry's new van)

FRANKIE: Nice captian's chairs, huh?

JERRY: Aye, aye.

FRANKIE: Oh, there's a spot. Just back up.

(Loud beeping sounds as Jerry begins to back up)

JERRY: Hold on. There must be a truck backing up.

FRANKIE: No, that's us.

JERRY: (Sarcastic) Great. You know Frankie, I was wondering.. what if I decided that it's silly to drive a van. ..Because, you know, I live in New York City. Is there maybe some way I could exchange it?

FRANKIE: You don't like the van?

JERRY: No, no, no. Just.. hypothetically.

FRANKIE: (Let down) I gotta go to the park.

JERRY: No! No, no you don't! No woods. I love the van. I'm a van guy.

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Jerry's apartment building]

(Kramer's showing Jerry his mailbox. It's bricked up)

KRAMER: Check it out. Rain and sleet may not stop them, but let's seem the get by.. (Opens it) These bricks.

JERRY: Where'd you get the bricks? KRAMER: Jerry, the whole building is brick.

JERRY: So, you want to take a ride with me out to Jersey? I'm gonna try to sell the fan to a lot.

KRAMER: A dealer? Are you insane? No, take out an ad. Sell it privately.

JERRY: I don't think I want to meet the people that are in the market for a used van.

KRAMER: Come on, Jerry. Just let me help you.

JERRY: Okay.

KRAMER: All right! Ok! right. Here we go. Yeah. Ok, so.. "For sale. A big, juicy van." And, ooh, you gotta put down, "interesting trades considered."

JERRY: I don't want to trade.

KRAMER: No, you don't have to. It's all about tickling their buying bone.

JERRY: Hey, you know what? (Holding out some of his mail) this is all your mail. They're puttin' it in my box now.

KRAMER: Oh, that's it! They have gone too far. They keep pusing me, and pushing me.. Now I got no choice but to go down there.. and talk to them.

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Monk's Coffee Shop]

(Jerry enters)

ELAINE: Hey, Jerry. I'd like you to meet someone. This is Jack.

(Harps sounds as Jerry looks at Jack's face)

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Post Office]

POSTAL EMPLOYEE: (To Kramer) May I help you?

KRAMER: Yeah, I'd like to cancel my mail.

POSTAL EMPLOYEE: Certainly. How long would you like us to hold it?

KRAMER: Oh, no, no. I don't think you get me. I want out. Permanently.

(Newman rushes up from the back)

NEWMAN: I'll handle this, Violet. Why don't you take your three hour break? (She leaves) Oh, calm down, everyone. No one's cancelling any mail..

KRAMER: Oh, yes, I am!

NEWMAN: What about your bills?

KRAMER: The bank can pay 'em.

NEWMAN: The bank.. What about your cards and letters?

KRAMER: E-mail, telephones, fax machines. Fed-exx, tel-ex, telegrams, holograms..

NEMWAN: Alright. It's true! Of course nobody needs mail. What do you think? You're so clever for figuring that out? But you don't know the half of what goes on here. So just walk away, Kramer. I beg of you.

(Newman's boss arrives on the scene)

SUPERVISOR: Is everything alright here, Postal Employee Newman?

NEWMAN: Yes, Sir. I believe everything is all squared away. Isn't it, Mr. Kramer?

KRAMER: Oh, yeah.. As long as I stop getting mail!

(Scene ends)
[Setting: The Costanza house]

(George is waiting in the kitchen as his parents come back. He takes them by surprise)

GEORGE: Welcome back.

ESTELLE: Oh!

GEORGE: Quick for a.. catered affair.

FRANK: I don't know what you mean.

GEORGE: You ditched me! That's twice! Now, I demand to know what's going on!

FRANK: George, we've had it with you. Understand? We love you like a son, but even parents have limits.

ESTELLE: The break-ups, the firings.. And ever Sunday with the calls..

FRANK: What my wife is trying to say is that this is supposed to be our time.

GEORGE: I'm not following.

FRANK: We're cuttin' you lose.

GEORGE: You're cuttin' me lose?

FRANK: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make love to your mother.. (They both leave George in disgust)

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Jerry's apartment]

GEORGE: They don't want to see me anymore!

JERRY: But this is what you've always wanted!

GEORGE: It is. I'm just not ready yet.

JERRY: (Joking) Aw, that's kind of sweet.

GEORGE: Ah, shut up, Jerry. My parents think they can ignore me.. Heh, heh. Well, they better think again!

JERRY: Oh, no. George, please. What are you going to do?

GEORGE: You remember my cousin, Rhisa? I'm gonna date her.

JERRY: ..Mother of God..

GEORGE: One little wink - she'll freak out, tell my parents. They'll be all over me. (Moving to another topic. Jerry's going through is old tapes, convinced he's meet Elaine's boyfriend, Jack, before) Who is this guy?

JERRY: That guy Elaine's dating; seems really familiar to me. I think he may have been a comedian I worked with one time. Wait a minute.. what is this?!

(On the tv screen, Jack is shown as the "Wiz" - a spokesman for a company)

JACK: (From the TV) Nobody beats me, because I'm the Wiz! I'm the Wiz!

JERRY: That's the guy! GEORGE: Elaien's in love with the Wiz guy?

JERRY: No, she thinks she's in love with him. But she's just remember this old commercial.

GEORGE: That's pretty pathetic.

JERRY: I know. (Making fun of George) They're not even related.

(Elaine enters)

ELAINE: Hey.

GEORGE: Uh.. Hey. I'm gonna get going. (Goes to leave)

JERRY: Hey, have fun at the.. family reunion. (George exits) So, what do you know about this Jack fellow?

ELAINE: Isn't he the best?

JERRY: Yeah. Nobody beats him. What kind of work does he do?

ELAINE: Oh, right now, he's a fact checker for New York magazine. It's not much, but it has a certain type of quiet dignity.

JERRY: (Turning to his TV) Right. Quiet dignity. As opposed to, say.. this?!

(Jerry hits play, and the "Wiz" comes on the screen)

JACK: (Chanting) Nobody beats me, because I'm the Wiz! I'm the Wiz!

ELAINE: Oh, no..

JERRY: (Smiling) Oh, yes.

(Phone rings, Jerry answers it)

JERRY: Hello? Yeah, the van is still for sale. Sure come on by.

(Kramer rushes in with the phone)

KRAMER: Yeah, I called about the van..

(Scene ends)
[Setting: A NYC restaurant]

(George is at dinner with his cousin)

GEORGE: Some more Merlot?

RHISA: Yeah, thanks.

GEORGE: Sure. You know, Rhisa. I've always found you.. very attractive.

RHISA: What?

GEORGE: I know it may sound shocking, but I just can't stop myself from.. wanting you.

RHISA: You want to borrow money, right?

GEORGE: No, no. I-I just want us to be.. together.

RHISA: Alright.

GEORGE: "Alright"?

RHISA: Let's go for it.

GEORGE: Well.. we could dance around it a little first.

RHISA: (While playing footsie with George) Nah. Let's be bad, George. Let's be really.. bad..

GEORGE: Woah! Woah! Geez..

(Scene ends)
[Setting: NYC Street]

(Kramer's inspecting Jerry's van)

KRAMER: So.. how come you're selling it?

JERRY: You know why I'm selling it. I hate it.

KRAMER: How many miles?

JERRY: Two.

KRAMER: City or highway?

JERRY: Look, do you really want to buy this thing, or what?

KRAMER: (Accidentally breaking the antenna) Hey, hey. Take it easy. I'm not gonna be pressured. I'll walk away right now!.. Is this thing bent? I'm not paying for that.

JERRY: Alright. Just get outta here.

KRAMER: Alright, look.. I'm going to be hones. I'm very interested in the van.

JERRY: Okay, fine. (Like a saleman) What do I have to do to put you in this van today?

KRAMER: (Pointing at the newspaper ad) Well, I don't really have any money. But it says right here, "interesting trades considered".

JERRY: You put that in!

KRAMER: And I'm glad I did. (Pulls out an undershirt) Here.

JERRY: You want to trade me an undershirt?

KRAMER: No, I want to trade you screen legend Anthony Quinn's undershirt. He took this off to do sit-ups in the park, and I nabbed it.

JERRY: That's disgusting.

KRAMER: Well, it's my final offer!

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Monk's Coffee Shop]

PUDDY: You dumped me for some idiotic TV pitchman?

ELAINE: Look, I'm sorry, Puddy. It-it was a mistake. So, let's just put it behind us, and we can contine like this never happened.

PUDDY: Gee, I don't know. What if we're out somewhere and you see the Maytag repairman?

ELAINE: You're not taking me back?

PUDDY: (Getting up to leave) That's right.

ELAINE: (Yelling after Puddy while he exits) He's not idiotic! He's the Wiz. And nobody beats him! Nobody..

(Scene ends)
[Setting: NYC Street]

(Kramer's handing out pamphlets from the back of Jerry's van. A dummy-mailman with a bucket over his head is proped up in next to him)

KRAMER: Here you go. Mail is evil! Pass it on. Hey, mail blows! Fax it to a friend.

WOMAN: Why does this dummy have a bucket on its head?

KRAMER: Because we're blind to their tyranny.

WOMAN: Then shouldn't you be wearing the bucket?

KRAMER: (Thinks about it) Yeah. Move along, Betty..

(Frankie walks by)

FRANKIE: Is this, uh, Jerry Seinfeld's van?

KRAMER: Well, not anymore. He traded it to me for some Hollywood memorabilia.

FRANKIE: I'm, uh, I'm so stupid. KRAMER: What?

FRANKIE: (Taking off towards the park) I'm so stupid! Uh, excuse me. I'm sorry.

KRAMER: (Yelling out) Yeah, nice to meet you!

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Monk's Coffee Shop]

JERRY: She's into it?

GEORGE: She's leaving me dirty messages on my answering machine.

JERRY: So, have your parents found out about it?

GEORGE: She wants to keep it quiet. She.. thinks we have a real future together.

JERRY: Brave new world alright..

(Kramer enters with the Mailman Dummy)

KRAMER: Hey, you guys.

JERRY: Hey. How's the anti-mail campaign going?

KRAMER: Oh, it's fantastic. We were out in fron tof the post office today, and not one person went in.

JERRY: It's Sunday.

GEORGE: Why is the mailman wearing a bucket?

KRAMER: Huh? Well, it sympolizes our persecution.

GEORGE: Then.. shouldn't you be wearing the bucket?

JERRY: (To Kramer) Hey, I want my van keys back.

KRAMER: Oh, well.. I, uh, thought we made a deal for Quinn's T-shirt.

JERRY: Are you insande? Give 'em to me.

KRAMER: No, I can't. I can't. See, I told Frank he could borrow it. yeah, he wants to move some of George's stuff into storage.

GEORGE: Wait a minute. He's picking up the van tonight? This is perfect! I'll drive Rhisa to someplace romantic. Then when my father slides the door open, I'm in the van, kissing his brother's daughter!

KRAMER: Oh, listen, Jerry. One of your friends came by and he was very upset that I had your wheels.

JERRY: Oh no. Not Frankie.

KRAMER: Well, I didn't catch his name, but then, he went running into the park.

JERRY: Oh, no! The woods! The hole!

(Scene ends)
[Setting: NYC Street]

(Kramer, walking down the street with the mailman dummy, is sidled up by Newman in a mailtruck. Kramer continues to walk as Newman follows him in his truck, talking)

KRAMER: Hey!

NEWMAN: Kramer, what the hell are you doing?!

KRAMER: I know.. I'm gonna switch the bucket to something else.

NEWMAN: Not that!

KRAMER: What?

NEWMAN: You're in trouble, Kramer. I shouldn't even be talking to you, but I'm telling you as a friend. Here's how it's going to happen: you may be walking. Maybe on a crisp, Autumn day, just like today. When a mail truck will slow beside you, and a door will open, and a mailman you know, maybe even trust, will offer to give you a lift..

KRAMER: Are you through?

NEWMAN: No! And no one will ever see you again!

KRAMER: Are you through?

NEWMAN: Yes. No, wait! Ok, yes. (Postal security officials are seen on the sidewalk, walking towards Kramer. Newman gets frantic) Quick! Get in!

KRAMER: Oh, no, no, no. That's exactly how you said it was going down! NEWMAN: There's another way it can go down, and it's going down right now!

KRAMER: No, you said a mailman I know; and you're a mialman I know!

NEWMAN: I know you know, but you don't know what I know.

(Kramer is grabbed by the security officials)

KRAMER: Hey!

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Central Park]

(Jerry's in search of Frankie)

JERRY: Frankie! Frankie! Frankie! Frankie! (To an old man digging a deep hole in the park) Is that you?

HOLE DIGGER: My name is Edgar.

JERRY: (Joking) Have a nice night.

HOLE DIGGER: Thank you.

(Jerry's van [George and Rhisa] approaches Frankie. He's digging a hole, muttering to himself. The van parks)

FRANKIE: Stupid.. so stupid! Jerry?

(Scene cuts to the inside of the van)

RHISA: Alright, George. I'm ready.

GEORGE: (Obviously stalling till his parents get there) Yeah. Hold on. I'm, uh, I'm just trying to.. get a reading on my dashboard compass. (To himself) Where are my parents..?

RHISA: Geor-gie..

(Frankie runs up to the driver's window)

FRANKIE: Is this Seinfeld's van? Seinfeld's van?!

(George quickly moves to the back of the van, scared)

RHISA: Wait. What's he saying?

GEORGE: I think he's saying "Son of Sam"! Oh my God!

RHISA: No, they caught him.

GEORGE: (Running out of the van, yelling out) I knew it wasn't Berkowitz!

FRANKIE: (Watching George run away) Ohh..

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Monk's Coffee Shop]

(Elaine and Jack)

ELAINE: So, I told him, "Hit the road. I'm going back with Jack."

JACK: Elaine, that's the second piece of good news today.

ELAINE: Really? What was the first?

(Jack pulls out the Wiz hat)

JACK: They're bringing me back. Yeah, I'm the Wiz again!

ELAINE: What?

JACK: (Up, dressed in the hat, walking back and forth) I'm the Wiz! I'm the Wiz!

ELAINE: Well, what.. what about your fact-checking job?

JACK: (Still moving around) Oh.. here's a fact. Uh.. I'm.. The Wiz! I'm the Wiz, and noooobody beats me!

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Central Park]

(Jerry finds Frankie digging his hole)

JERRY: Frankie? Come on out of there..

FRANKIE: You hate the van.

JERRY: But I'm keeping it. As much as I hate the idea of being a van guy, it's much better than hanging out here with all the nocturnal dirt people. FRANKIE: So, can we go for a ride?

JERRY: Yeah, let's just get out of here.

HOLE DIGGER 2: (Eyeing the empty hole Frankie made) Are you done with that?

(Scene cuts to the Costanzas)

FRANK: (Coming up to the van, he thinks Kramer left it for him) Good. He left the door unlocked.

ESTELLE: Why did Kramer have to park the van in the woods?

FRANK: Isn't it obvious? There are no parking meters out here.

ESTELLE: (Looking inside the van) Wow!

(Frank pushes a button, the seats recline into a bed)

FRANK: Hey, look at this.. Hoochie Mamma..

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Post Office back room]

(The Postmaster General has Kramer in an interrogation chair)

P.G: Oh, my goodness. What have they done to you here?

KRAMER: Huh? Who are you?

P.G: Well, you can just call me Henry.

KRAMER: Henry Atkins? The Postmaster General?

P.G: Last time I checked.

KRAMER: Henry.. can I get out of here now?

P.G: Oh, oh. Sit a bit. Sit a bit. I mean, after all, I drove all the way up here from D.C. just to talk to you.

KRAMER: Oh?

P.G: I even had to cancel a round of golf with the Secretary of State. Do you like golf, Mr. Kramer?

KRAMER: Yeah.

P.G: Kramer, I've been, uh, reading some of your material here. I gotta be honest with you: you make a pretty strong case. I mean, just imagine: and army of men in wool pants running through the neighborhod handing out pottery catalogs, door to door.

KRAMER: Yeah! Ha, ha.

P.G: Well, it's my job. And I'm pretty damn serious about it. In addition to being a Postmaster, I'm a General. And we both know, it's the job of a general to, by God, get things done. So, maybe you can understand why I get a little irritated when someone calls me away from my golf.

KRAMER: (Near tears) I'm very, very sorry.

P.G: Sure, you're sorry. I think we got a stack of mail out at the desk that belongs to you. Now, you want that mail, don't you Mr. Kramer?

KRAMER: Sure do!

P.G: (Getting a salute from Kramer) Now, that's better.

(As Kramer's leaving, Newman, with a bucket on his head, is escorted into the room)

KRAMER: Geez. (Lifting the bucket) Newman?

NEWMAN: (Whimpering) Tell the world my story.

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Central Park]

(Jerry and Frankie meet up with George and Rhisa)

JERRY: Hey, George!

GEORGE: Jerry! He, that's the guy! (Pointing at Frankie)

JERRY: What? (Introducing the two) George Costanza, Frankie Merman.

GEORGE: Oh. The summer me..

FRANKIE: The winter me..

JERRY: You must be George's cousin.

RHISA: Girlfriend.

JERRY: Alright.

(Jerry's van can be heard shaking back and forth. They all direct their attention to it)

GEORGE: What is that? (Moving to the van to investigate) That van's a-rockin.

JERRY: Don't go a-knockin'!

(George opens up the door, all four stare into the van)

ESTELLE: Oh, my God!

GEORGE: (Shocked at his parent's having sex) Oh, my GOD!

FRANKIE: (To Jerry) Now you gotta sell this van.

JERRY: (Disgusted) Oh yeah.

(Scene ends)
[Setting: The Costanza house]

FRANK: What you saw in that van was a natural expression of a man's love for his lady.

GEORGE: Ohhh..

ESTELLE: You're father's right. It's beautiful.

FRANK: And it was safe.

GEORGE: (In hell) Oh, God..

FRANK: Now, If you'll excuse me. Once again, your mother and I..

GEORGE: (Looking up) Oh.. make it stop..