The Hot Tub



Donated by Paulo Moreira (PGM@netc.pt)

Written by: Gregg Kavet and Andy Robin
Directed by: Andy Ackerman
Broadcasted: October 19, 1995 for the first time.
Stars: Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richards,
Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Jeremiah Birkett (as Jean-Paul).


[Setting: Night club]

JERRY: I'm always sorry for the guy who gets the silver medal in the Olympics. How do you live with that the rest of your life? People are gonna keep asking: "How much did you lose by?" "I don't even know! It was like...(very fast) now. now.. now. now.. now.. was like, like.. now.. now.. now! It was it..! Eh, it was it, and I lost. I trained, I worked out, I exercised, I did everything! I was doing push-ups, sit-ups, I never did anything but exercise and work out for 20 years. I flew half way around the world and aaaaaaaaaah!.. (showing a tiny distance between his index and thumb) And that was.. it was a photo-finish! Silver.. (stretching his neck forward) ..gold. If I had a pimple, I would've won!

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Coffee shop]

JERRY: (to Elaine) I can't believe you write for this J.Peterman catalog. (To George) Get this one: "I packed my rod and reel. 30 hours later, lost in the fiord, a welcoming smile. Thank God she spotted the epaulettes on my norwegian ice-fishing vest."

GEORGE: This catalog is all about how to score in a foreign country.

ELAINE: Yeah? What do you do all day?

GEORGE: Not that much.

ELAINE: Uh-uh.

JERRY: I thought that new promotion was supposed to be a lot more work?

GEORGE: Yeah, when the season starts. Right now, I sit around pretending that I'm busy.

JERRY: How do you pull that off?

GEORGE: I always look annoyed. Yeah, when you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy. Think about it.. (Starts acting like he's annoyed)

ELAINE: Yeah, you do! He looks very busy!

JERRY: Yeah, he looks busy! Yeah!

GEORGE: I know what I'm doin'. In fact, Mr.Wilhelm gave me one of those little stress dolls. Alright. (Gets up) Back to work. (Leaving, he acts annoyed. Elaine laughs)

JERRY: So, did you come up with a little stupid story for the Himalayan walking shoe yet?

ELAINE: No. I'm completly blocked! In fact, I'm gonna work on it tonight. Oh. Oh no! Oh, I can't! I got that marathon runner coming in tonight.

JERRY: What marathon runner?

ELAINE: You know, this guy Jean-Paul, Jean-Paul.. I met him when I was working at Pendant, editing a book on running..

JERRY: Oh, wait! Jean-Paul, Jean-Paul! Isn't he the guy who overslept at the Olympics four years ago and missed the marathon?!

ELAINE: Yeah, that's him.

JERRY: He's from uh.. Trinidad and Tobago, right?

ELAINE: Yeah, he's trinidadian and.. tobagan. (Laughs)

JERRY: How do you oversleep at the Olympics?

ELAINE: Ah, I know. I know!

JERRY: I mean, it's like the biggest event of your life! You'd think you'd have, like, 6 alarm clocks, payin' off little kids in the village to come banging on your door..

ELAINE: Yeah, well, he was pretty devastated. This is his first race in three years.

JERRY: Ah.. that's a big responsability on your hands.

ELAINE: What responsability? I don't have any responsability.

JERRY: You gotta wake him up!

ELAINE: Eh, he'll get up..

(A woman passes by with a baby)

ELAINE: Hi, Judy.

JUDY: Hi, Elaine. How are you?

ELAINE: Fine. (Laughs)

(Judy leaves)

JERRY: I've seen her in your building.

ELAINE: Yeah.

JERRY: I didn't know she was married.

ELAINE: (Whispering) She's not.. and the guy just took off. (Makes a sad face) Don't say anything to anybody.

JERRY: Who'm I gonna tell?

ELAINE: I know, it's just something you have to say..

(Scene ends)
[Setting: George's office]

(George is reading a newspaper when he hears a fly that lands on his desk. He tries to kill it with the paper but misses. Mr.Wilhelm enters. George switches to annoyed-mode)

WILHELM: George, we just got the final budget numbers. We went over budget on some of the items, but I don't think there's gonna be a problem. (Hands over the budget file to a very annoyed George) I'll let you get back to work, George. (Mr.Wilhelm leaves the office. George hears the fly again. It lands on the wall and he starts hitting it with the file. Mr.Wilhelm sees George hitting the wall with the budget file through the window, and shakes his head, worried)

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Jerry's apartment]

JERRY: He overslept and missed the whole race. Isn't that amazing?

GEORGE: I'll tell you what happened - I bet he got the AM/PM mixed-up.

JERRY: My money's on the snooze. I bet he hit the snooze for an extra 5 and it never came back on. (Kramer enters with a bucket, and starts filling it with water on the sink) Imagine your whole life riding on an alarm clock.

KRAMER: Alarm clocks? I never use 'em. Don't trust 'em.

JERRY: What do you do?

KRAMER: I have a uh.. mental alarm. I set my head for.. quarter to seven and.. (makes a popping sound sound) I get up!

JERRY: Always works?

KRAMER: It never fails. See, it's based on your body clock. See, your body has an internal mechanism. It knows what time it is.

GEORGE: Uh-uh. What's with the bucket?

KRAMER: Lomez, he sold me his hot tub.

JERRY: Hot tub?

KRAMER: Yeah yeah, it's in my living room. I just gotta fill it. (Points to bucket)

GEORGE: You put a hot tub.. in your living room?

KRAMER: Oh, it's a beauty! It's got these high-volume aqua-ssage jets oscillating and pulsating, soothing your every aching muscle. The water's gonna get over 120 degrees! (Giddy)

GEORGE: Is that tolerable?

KRAMER: Oh.. it's tolerable!

JERRY: Isn't that the same temperature the coffee that scalded you?

KRAMER: Oh, I think it's a little cooler than that.. (Smiles, then leaves)

GEORGE: He uh.. doesn't have any running water?

JERRY: I don't ask those kind of questions anymore.

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Coffee shop]

ELAINE: Jerry. Jerry, this is Jean-Paul.

JERRY: Ah, hi Jean-Paul. Nice to meet you.

JEAN-PAUL: Nice to meet you.

JERRY: Sorry about the Olympics.

JEAN-PAUL: Me too. (Disappointed)

ELAINE: Listen, listen I'm gonna go call work to see if I can get my deadline extended. I can't.. come up with anything for this thing.

JERRY: Ah.. catalog writer's block?

ELAINE: (Sarcastic) Yeah, that's funny.

(Elaine leaves) JERRY: (Pause) So what happened? The snooze alarm, wasn't it?

JEAN-PAUL: Man, it wasn't the snooze. Most people think it was the snooze, but no, no snooze.

JERRY: AM/PM?

JEAN-PAUL: Man, it wasn't the AM/PM. It was the volume.

JERRY: Ah.. the volume.

JEAN-PAUL: Yes, the volume. There was a separate knob for the radio alarm.

JERRY: Ah, separate knob.

JEAN-PAUL: Yes, separate knob. (Frustrated) Why separate knob?! Why separate knob?!

JERRY: Some people like to have the radio alarm a little louder than the radio.

JEAN-PAUL: Oh, please, man, please!

JERRY: Don't worry, it's not gonna happen again. Not if I have anything to say about it.

(Elaine returns)

JERRY: Elaine, what's the alarm clock situation in your house?

ELAINE: Jerry..

JERRY: It's a simple question.

ELAINE: I've got an alarm, ok?

JERRY: That old one? Didn't I once miss a flight to Cleveland because of that alarm clock?

JEAN-PAUL: Flight to Cleveland?

ELAINE: It works.

JERRY: Elaine..

ELAINE: It.. works!

(Scene ends)
[Setting: George's office]

(George is doing the newspaper's crossword. The pen stops working)

GEORGE: Eh.. come oooon.. (Starts stabbing the paper with the pen. Mr. Wilhelm comes in, George switches to annoyed-mode again)

WILHELM: George.. I think you may be taking work a little too seriously.

GEORGE: Well, I've got a lot to do!

WILHELM: George, I'll tell you what I'd like you to do. I, I'd like you to drop everything. (George acts annoyed) I have this.. fun little assignment I think you'll enjoy. There's some reps in from the Houston Astros for talks on that interleague play.. and I want you to show them a good time.(George give an "ok, you're the boss" gesture)

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Jerry's apartment]

(Elaine comes in)

ELAINE: Hey. Sorry I'm late.

JERRY: You're 40 minutes late. What happened?

ELAINE: I got held up. Do you mind if I heat this muffin up?

JERRY: No.

ELAINE: What? (Elaine puts her muffin in the microwave and sets the timer) What is the problem?

JERRY: Well, you said you were gonna be here at a certain time, and you weren't.

ELAINE: Uh-uh. Uh-uh. And this all means uh.. what?

JERRY: Well, means that a man has come from very far away to compete in a very difficult race, he's put his faith in you, and frankly, I'm a little concerned.

ELAINE: Oh, are you?!

JERRY: Yes I am.

ELAINE: Hey, I'm not running in the marathon! He is!

JERRY: Yeah, I know that!

ELAINE: Yeah, I got enough to think about just tryin' to come up with some load o'crap for that Himalayan walking shoe! I mean, I've given him a place to stay, I'll set an alarm, but I'm not gonna turn my life completely upside down for this guy!

JERRY: I'm not talking about upside down. (Jean-Paul and Kramer come in) I'm talking about waking him up!

ELAINE: Hey, Jean-Paul.

JERRY: Hey, Jean-Paul. How was your soak? Was a good soak?

JEAN-PAUL: Ah, man, very good soak. The soak o'the year!

KRAMER: (Smelling) What's burning?

ELAINE: Oh! (Rushing to the microwave) My muffin! (Opens microwave door) Oh, shoot! (Slams it shut)

JERRY: What happened?

ELAINE: Oh I don't know. I set this thing for 20 seconds.

KRAMER: This was set for 2 minutes. See?

(Jerry raises his hands in the air, worried)

Elaine: (Pointing at Jerry) Don't say anything! Don't.. say.. anything!

JEAN-PAUL: You misset the timer?

ELAINE: (Leaning against the refrigerator) Jean-Paul, it's not my microwave, ok? Ok? Alright, listen, let's just go. Come on, Jean-Paul, let's go. Let's go.

JEAN-PAUL: Ok.

ELAINE: (To Jerry) Alright. We'll see you at the race, ok?

JERRY: Yeah. I hope so!

ELAINE: (Sarcastic) Oh that's cute. (Exits with Jean-Paul)

JERRY: Kramer, I'm tellin' you, Elaine doesn't know what the hell she's doin'! I gotta take over this whole operation!

KRAMER: Jerry, look how tense you are.. You need to take a soak.

JERRY: I'm not taking a soak in that human bacteria frat you got goin' there.

KRAMER: Come on, I'm tellin' you, it's great. I opened up all the windows.. the air is cold, the tub is boiling hot.. It's like Sweden, man. Sweeeeden!

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Kramer's apartment]

(The water in the hot tub is 105.F degrees. Kramer takes his robe off and goes inside)

KRAMER: (Relaxing) Oooohhh yeeaaah.. aaahhh..

(Scene ends)
[Setting: A Bar]

(George and three other men are drinking)

CLAYTON: 'Till this bastard over here (Points) says: "Let's call the sons o'bitches and go visit 'em on New York!" (The three men laugh)

GEORGE: (smiling) Well, we're certainly glad that you could make it.

GARDNER: I like your organization, George. We've been talkin' to a really friendly son of a bitch in the front office. Wilhelm, I think his name.

GEORGE: Oh yes, Mr.Wilhelm, yeah..

GARDNER: He told us that George Costanza was gonna be takin' us bastards out on the town. (The three men laugh again) I said: "That son of a bitch doesn't know what he's got in store for him!". (The three men laugh once more)

ZEKE: Finish your drink?

GEORGE: Oh yeah, al-almost. Almost.

ZEKE: Let's get that bastard bring us another round! (waves to bartender)

CLAYTON: You a big drinker, George?

GEORGE: (Getting into the way they talk) Well.. maybe not as much as this bastard! (Points at Zeke. They all laugh) I can hold my own! (They all continue laughing and drinking)

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Kramer's apartment]

(The water is now at 53 degrees. Kramer is asleep inside and he's trembling. He wakes up, frozen, making trembling sounds. He reaches for his robe and puts it on while in the tub)

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Coffee shop]

JERRY: Jean-Paul, I asked you down here this morning because I'm concerned. Concerned that tomorrow is perhaps the biggest race of your entire career, and the person with whom you have chosen to stay.. is uh..

JEAN-PAUL: What are you saying?

JERRY: I'm saying, "Get the hell outta there!" Let me put you in a hotel. You'll be comfortable, you'll be near the starting line, and most importantly.. you'll have a wake-up call, Jean-Paul! A wake-up call!

JEAN-PAUL: Wake-up call..

JERRY: These people never fail. They sit in a room with a big clock all night long, just waitin' to make that call!

(George comes in)

JEAN-PAUL: No, I will stay with Elaine. It would be rude.

GEORGE: (The language of the three guys rubbed off onto George) Hey, you bastards.

JERRY: Hey, how was the meeting?

GEORGE: I really like those sons of bitches.

JERRY: Sons of bitches?

GEORGE: Yeah! That's how they talk. You know, everyone's either a bastard or a son of a bitch. Yeah, it's like uh.. "Boy, that son of a bitch Box can really hit, uh?!" (Laughs)

JEAN-PAUL: Really?!

GEORGE: Yeah, yeah. That's how they talk in the major league. (Laughs)

(Kramer walks in wearing winter coat, scarf, cap, and gloves. They all look at him very surprised)

KRAMER: Heeeeey..

JERRY: How many sweaters you got on?

KRAMER: Oh.. four. (To waitress) Yeah, could I have a cup o'tea? Boiling hot.

GEORGE: What's goin'on?

KRAMER: I fell asleep in the hot tub and the heat pump broke. Water went down to 58 degrees. I can't get my core temperature back up!

JERRY: Your core temperature?

KRAMER: (To Jean-Paul) Here, feel my hand. (takes off glove) Yeah, feel.

JEAN-PAUL: (Starts to talk like the three guys) Phew.. this son of a bitch is ice cold. (Smiles)

(Scene ends)
[Setting: An airplane]

(The three men are calling George at his office, while they're drinking and laughing in the plane)

GEORGE: Hello?

CLAYTON: Uh.. is that you, George?

GEORGE: (Laughs) Yeah, it's me. Is this Clayton?

CLAYTON: Well listen, you son of a bitch! You know where we are? 30,000 feet above your head, you bastard! (The three laugh and howl)

GEORGE: What are they doin' lettin' you bastards on an airplane? Don't they know that's against FAA regulation?!

CLAYTON: (To the other two men) Hey, hush up, now! I can't hear him!

GEORGE: Listen, I want you guys to send along those agreements the minute you land. Our boys can't wait to kick your butts!

ZEKE: (To Clayton) When's that bastard comin' to Houston?

CLAYTON: Hey, Zeke wants to know when you Yankee bastards are comin' to Houston!

GEORGE: You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever comin' to Houston - not as long as you bastards are running things!

CLAYTON: Hey, uh, speak up, George, I can't hear ya!

GEORGE: (Mr. Wilhelm comes in and hears George talking on the phone. George's voice is very loud - and it sounds like he's angry) You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever comin' to Houston! Not as long as you bastards are running things!

(Mr. Wilhelm runs in, takes the phone from George and hangs up)

WILHELM: George! George, get a hold of yourself!

GEORGE: Mr. Wilhelm..

WILHELM: What's the matter with you?!

GEORGE: Well I - I..

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Elaine's office]

(She's trying to think of a story for the shoes while she's at the computer)

ELAINE: (Thinking and typing) It was a cold winter's night in Timbuktu.. (Hits the keyboard) Oh! This stinks! (Grabs a Himalayan walking shoe and starts squeezing it for inspiration) Oh, come on.. come on! ..God!

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Elaine's building]

(Jean-Paul passes Judy and her illegitimate child in the hall)

JEAN-PAUL: Hello.

JUDY: Hello.

JEAN-PAUL: I'm a friend of Elaine's.

JUDY: Oh, hi.

JEAN-PAUL: (Looks at the baby) Oooooh.. look at the cute little bastard.. (The building manager comes in) You are mama's little bastard, aren't you? (Laughs) (Judy goes away angry and Jean-Paul is surprised)

MANAGER: What the hell are you doin' harassing my tenants?

JEAN-PAUL: (Smiling) Oh come on, you son of a bitch. I'm just trying to be friendly.

Manager: Alright, that's it! (Grabs Jean-Paul) Let's go!

JEAN-PAUL: What.. but I got a race tomorrow!

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Jerry's apartment] (Kramer is lying on Jerry's sofa, dressed in winter wear, and covered with a blanket. Jerry and George come in)

GEORGE: Whoa.. it's like a furnace in here!

JERRY: Oh what the hell is goin' on?!

KRAMER: Yeah, I turned up the heat.

JERRY: Turn up the heat in your apartment! (Opens a window)

KRAMER: I'm freezin'! I just need to get my hot tub running. I'm waiting for my new heat pump.

GEORGE: Well what's in this giant box out in the hall?

KRAMER: Uh? Oh that must be it.

GEORGE: It's huge!

KRAMER: Yeah, yeah, I got the biggest one they had. It's industrial strength. 16000 BTU's.

(Kramer leaves. The phone rings, Jerry picks it up)

JERRY: Hello?.. Yeah, I can be there in 10 minutes.. you can count on me! (Hangs up)

GEORGE: (Jerry is going to his bedroom) What?

JERRY: I got the call!

GEORGE: Jean-Paul?

Jerry: (Stops walking) Jean-Paul!

(Scene cuts to a hotel)

JERRY: Pretty lucky to find this hotel, Jean-Paul.

JEAN-PAUL: Man, I just want to get some sleep. (Gets into a bed)

JERRY: Alright. (Picks up the alarm clock) Let's check out the clock. Notch - good.. 6:50.. volume check. (Music playing, he starts swinging) What kinda music you wanna wake up to? Top 40, classical?

JEAN-PAUL: (Annoyed) Man, whatever!

JERRY: How about adult contemporary?

JEAN-PAUL: (Irritated) Fine, adult contemporary. Just pick one!

JERRY: Alright.. we're going with adult contempo. (Puts alarm away, gets the phone) now.. the failsafe. The wake-up guy. (Dials)

JEAN-PAUL: Yes, yes, the wake-up guy.

MAN: (On the phone) Front desk.

JERRY: Yeah, this is room 419, I'd like a wake-up call for 6:50 AM tomorrow morning.

MAN: Yes sir.

JERRY: That's room 419. 6:50 AM. Four.. one.. niner..

MAN: Yes, I got it sir. You only had to say it once.

JERRY: I know, but it's a very important wake-up call.. and I don't wanna take any chances.

MAN: Every wake-up call I make is important. You're no more important than any of our guests.

JERRY: Well, I just don't wanna get into a whole thing with you here..

MAN: (Annoyed) Are you through?

Jerry: ..Yeah I am, but I just.. (Wake-up guy hangs up on Jerry. He pauses - thinking)

JERRY: Umm..

JEAN-PAUL: What is it?

JERRY: (Worried) I think I offended the wake-up guy!

JEAN-PAUL: No, no.

JERRY: (Gets up) No, no, I did. I think he's got it in for me!

JEAN-PAUL: Man, he doesn't got "in" for you.

JERRY: What if he doesn't call now out of spite?

JEAN-PAUL: It is his job!

(Jerry sits down)

JERRY: (Pause) Not comfortable. (Gets up again)

JEAN-PAUL: For God's sake! (Gets up, they start packing)

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Elaine's apartment]

(Elaine enters)

ELAINE: Jean-Paul? (Searching everywhere) Hey Jean-Paul? Jean-Paul? (Worried) Jean-Paul?! Oh man... (calls Jerry's) Oh...machine.

JERRY'S MACHINE: I'm not here, leave a message.

ELAINE: Jerry, Jerry, John-Paul's missing! He's alone in the city! Call me back. (Hangs up, then leaves her apartment. She knocks on Judy's door)

ELAINE: Judy, hi, listen..

JUDY: You have got some nerve, Elaine! I told you about that baby in confidence!

ELAINE: Oh, I didn't tell anyone.

JUDY: Well your friend certainly seemed to know all about it! (Shuts the door)

ELAINE: ..Jerry! (Runs to her apartment - she's angry)

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Jerry's apartment]

(Jerry and John-Paul enter)

JERRY: Feel much better here at my home base, John-Paul. It's a controlled environment.

JOHN-PAUL: It's a marathon, you know. 26 miles! I need to get some sleep! (Lies on the sofa)

JERRY: Hey, believe me, if I'd been with you there in Barcelona.. you'd be polishing that medal right now. (Covers John-Paul with a blanket)

JOHN-PAUL: Left a comfortable hotel bedroom for this!

JERRY: That wake-up guy was trouble! Alright, I'll be right back. (Leaves. Knocks on Kramer's door)

(Kramer checks the water temperature, then opens the door)

JERRY: (Shouting over the heat pump) Man that thing is noisy!

KRAMER: (Shouting) Yeah yeah, we're cracking along pretty good! We're almost up to 80 degrees!

JERRY: Yeah, listen, do me a favor. Set your mental alarm for 6:30 and gimme a call.

KRAMER: Yeah, ok. Wait. (Concentrates and makes the "pop!" sound) Done! (Jerry stares, confused)

(Scene ends)
[Setting: A NYC Street]

(Elaine is walking and thinking alone. She's dramatically worried. Elaine's thoughts can be heard) JERRY: (Echoing)He's put his faith in you.. He's put his faith in you.

JEAN-PAUL: (Echoing) I trust Elaine, she is my friend. I trust Elaine, she is my friend.

JERRY: Frankly, I'm a little concerned.

ELAINE: Ohhh, I'm exhausted. I've been on this street a thousand times! It's never looked so strange. The faces.. so cold. In the distance, a child is crying. Fatherless.. a bastard child, perhaps. My back aches.. my heart aches.. but my feet (Stops to look at her feet. She's wearing the Himalayan walking shoes) ..my feet are resilient! (A big smile grows in her face, as she thinks) Thank God I took off my heels, and put on my.. HIMALAYAN WALKING SHOES!!! (Lifting her arms up in the air, in ecstasy, as she says..) Yes!

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Kramer's apartment]

(4:02 AM. Kramer snores. The heat pump short circuits and blows the fuses on the entire building. Electricity goes out)

(Scene cuts to Jerry's apartment)

(Jerry wakes up with the sunlight. Looks at the electric clock, which stopped at 4:02)

JERRY: 4:02? (Checks his wristwatch) Aaa-aaahhh! Eight forty-seven! Jean-Paul! Wake up! Wake uuuuup! (Gets out of bedroom, in panic) Jean-Paul! The electricity went out! Wake up! Wake up! We gotta go! It's 8:47!

JEAN-PAUL: 8:47!? (Jumps out of the sofa) (Both run around, getting ready to go)

JERRY: Come on, just put your clothes on! You'll get dressed in the car!

JEAN-PAUL: Idiot! I trusted you!

(Kramer comes in wrapped up in a blanket)

JERRY: Kramer, what happened to the building?! The electricity went out!

KRAMER: Yeah, the heat pump blew all the fuses!

JERRY: What happened to your mental alarm?!

KRAMER: I guess I hit the snooze.. (Jerry runs by Kramer, Kramer falls down)

(Scene ends)
[Setting: New York City marathon race]

(Jerry and Jean-Paul try to get to the starting line through a crowd)

JERRY: Make way! I've got-I've got a runner here! Get outta the way! Make way! Make way! Make way, it's a contender! (An event guard stops them)

GUARD: Hey, hold it!

JEAN-PAUL: I'm late, man, I'm in the race!

GUARD: Go ahead.

JEAN-PAUL: Thank you, Jerry, you're a wonderful driver. Fantastic route, man!

JERRY: Alright, go, it's a race! Come on!

(Scene ends)
[Setting: Steinbrenner's office]

(George enters)

GEORGE: You wanted to see me, Mr. Steinbrenner?

STEINBRENNER: Yes, George, come in, come in. George, word up's you've been cracking under the pressure. Can't cope, can't stand the heat. Spit the bit.

GEORGE: Oh no, Mr.Steinbrenner, I can explain..

STEINBRENNER: Oh we all get a little cuckoo sometimes George, I used to be like you. Rating personnel 'till they cried, calling managers on the field during a game, threatning to move the team to New Jersey, just to upset people - then I found a way to relax. I've got two words to say to you, George: hot tub. (George looks at him, puzzled)

(Scene ends)
[Setting: New York City marithon race]

(Everyone but George are waiting for the runners to go by. Kramer remains dressed in many layers, and is carrying a thermos of scalding hot tea)

JERRY: I'm tellin'you, I never told anyone about that baby. I never even went near your building!

ELAINE: Then how did she find out, Jerry?!

JERRY: (Sarcastic) Maybe you should check with the rabi.

KRAMER: (To Elaine) You want some hot tea?

ELAINE: Oh no, thank you.

KRAMER: Oh. There's some runners. Here they come!

ELAINE: There's Jean-Paul! He's up front! He's leading! (Jumping) Go Jean-Paul! (Starts screaming) KRAMER: Oh yeah! Yeah! Come on! (Howling)

JERRY: Come on, let's go Jean-Paul!

ELAINE: Go Jean-Paaaaaul!

(Jean-Paul runs close to the watchers. Some people are holding out drinks for him. Jean-Paul grabs Kramer's hot tea, and leaves scene. We then hear Jean-Paul screaming in pain from the heat. Kramer puts on a "What the hell?" look, Elaine puts on an "Ouch" look and Jerry puts on his "That's a shame" face)

(Scene ends)
[Setting: A hot tub]

(George and Mr.Steinbrenner are sitting inside a hot tub)

STEINBRENNER: How're you enjoying it, George? Melts that tension away, doesn't it? You gotta get that jet on the good spot. Oh, Oh. Uh, Uh. Yes, that feels good. Yes, that's real good. Oh yeah, that's where I keep all my tension. Right down to that chicken bone. Sometimes I get my wife to just stick her thumb right in there like a screwdriver. Ya know, the Phillips head, not the flat one. Oh God, those flat ones frustrate me. You got it in, but it slips out. You put it in again, slips out again! You a single man, George?

GEORGE: (Bored to death) Well, I-I just recently uh..

STEINBRENNER: I'll tell you, if you wanna get something wild goin'on in your life, you get a girl and bring her to one o'these things. Just like four shots a wild turkey. (Laughs) She'll think you're Hopalong Cassidy. (George starts sliding, until he gets all his head under water. Steinbrenner keeps talking) A show, about that Mickey Mantle, wasn't it? You know, we used to talk. I don't think he liked me very much, you know.

END OF SHOW.