Bumper Stickers We'd Love to See...

100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.

DON'T PISS ME OFF! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Hang up and drive.

Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

JESUS SAVES . . . They Pass It To Gretzky . . .He Shoots..He..Scores!

You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT

Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

All men are idiots....I married their king.

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN

Where there's a will...I want to be in it

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry....Then things get worse.

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS?

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.

Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.

Honk If You Want To See My Finger

Thanks to JLendall for these :)