En Taro Adun web-surfer. It's time to put Starcraft away when...

1. You thought that was a normal greeting.

2. You close your eyes and see swarms of intercepters and zerglings.

3. You call your spare coffee mug your 'safety pylon'.

4. When you start your car you mutter "ready to roll out".

5. You make zerg noises when you're frustrated.

6. You see a police helicopter and wonder why no arbiter is there.

7. You see a police heli' and glance around for scourge.

8. Sleep ?

9. Its not old pizza any more - It's creep.

10. You'd pay money to make your cursor a running zergling.

11. All your windows sounds are Starcraft.

12. You've admired stars but wonder where Aiur is.

13. Your paycheck became a hallucination when Starcraft appeared.

14. You've got real hypothesis how guardians fly.

15. If you've checked any hole for burrowed zerg.

16. You swear in protoss "Nagat'Zul!"

17. Your CD drive no-longer opens.

18. You've thrown stuff looking for a tech tree chart.

19. You avoid large trucks just in case they start lobbing Scarabs.

20. You've fallen asleep reading the manual / tech-chart / B.net channels.

21. Your car - Seige tank (lockdown to use horn), vulture cycle with speed upgrade, or economy SCV encounter suit?

22. You watch the intro movie every day.

23. You watch the intro movie just to see the new Blizzard logo effect.

24. You've actually checked a local mall for "Tracey's Armory" or "Bob's guns".

25. You visualize red-plague on people with colds and flu's.

26. Every-day you start work with the phrase "I Have Returned".

27. You don't need a measuring tape to measure from your bed to your computer. ( this goes beyond SC my friend.. seek help )

28. You've played Terran 10 more than once just to beat it a different way.

29. Four words "I Long For Combat".

30. You watched the entire credits for Starcraft.

31. You recognized a name on every page of the credits.

32. You've poked a critter to death with your cursor ( try it. it works )

33. Instead of leaving to go shopping for groceries / caffiene. You order pizza with extra six-packs of coke and continue playing.

34. You make a list of addictions (well somebody would have said it)

35. It's not a messy room.. It's a creep colony ( with expanding borders )

36. Remember the stampede scene in "Lion King", Antelope swarming over the ridge. Remind you of anything? yep-me too.

37. You've seen two lap-dogs and wondered who broodlinged the St-Bernard

38. You've named anything after a campaign character.

39. You've created models of any doodad out of anything ( coke can monothiths anybody? )

40. You've checked microwave food for the green 'irradiate' fog.

41. Fridge - Household appliance or 'Stasis' chamber for food?

42. You Have more Starcraft "Stuff" than fingers. "Stuff"=like creep but it covers your desk and hard-drive.

43. It's not a bed - It's a shield Battery.

44. Quick test - What's your Windows wallpaper?

45. You say this more than once a day. "Let's _________ and play Starcraft" typical answers are "leave work" "go home" "forget sleep" "skip supper" "ignore phone" "Record " "Sell "

46. Starcraft link on ANY web-page is a good enough reason for you to go to the page." hey there's SC info at http://209.67.136.168/ "

47. If you recognized the above link BEFORE you checked it. You are addicted.

48. The neighbors have complained about the explosions. The Animal rights people have inquired about the zerg noises.

49. When the neighbors complain about explosions you've wished you could 'lift-off' your house and move. It's so easy in Starcraft.

50. You know what CWAL stands for. And can name more than 5 people in it.

51. You consider it a possibility to look up and see a Battlecruiser leaving an airport.

52. It's not a possibility only because you don't go outside any more.

53. You have a Starcraft unit tatoo. Or You're thinking about what you'd get where now.

54. You are personally responsible for at least 2 of your friends getting Starcraft.

55. If you're still reading this..you are addicted to Starcraft.

56. If you've ever said. "I wouldn't feed that to my zerg" or "What a wimp Terran thing to say"

57. Does the idea of painting the box art on the hood of a car, a running zergling on the side and BattleCruiser thrusters on the back appeal to you?

58. Yes my stress ball has been cut, carved and painted to look like a zerg egg. ( It occurs to me Blizzard could make millions in merchandising )

59. Windows is set up to run Starcraft imediately when you start your computer? ( What are you laughing at? I'm serious )

60. Advanced addicts will have Starcraft license plate holders. Avoid these people.. Traffic laws have no bearing on a man with a saved game from the night before.

61. zerg-burgers, spider fries, Frosty Archon Shakes, creep-pizza and scourge-wings, Vespene-Cola and the lovely Java-shield to ward off sleep.. Such is the diet of a Starcraft Addict. For those health and cafeteria food nuts. heheh.. you can have your Spaceweed salad and Marine rations.

62. If you've ever tried to blame anything on a hallucination.

63. If you've wished for a transport at a busy intersection.

64. If you've wished for a Reaver when stuck in traffic.

65. If the sign on your lawn says "This Property protected by Zerg. (alternately "Arclite" or "Auir" ) Trespassers will be eaten, nuked, brainwashed, assimilated, locked-down and vaporized, and then shot."

These ravings were brought to you by Smoke :)