This post was originally put up by The Black Knight at Camelot Systems by hacking their cgi news script. Although I don't approve of the methods used to make the post, it is a funny post and thats why it found it way here....
Man : (whistles a bit, then) Hello. I would like to buy a zerg licence, please.Postal clerk : A what?
Man : A licence for my pet zerg, Eric.
Clerk : How did you know my name was Eric?
Man : No, no, no! My zerg's name is Eric. Eric the zerg. He's an hydralisk.
Clerk : What?
Man : He is an hydralisk.
Clerk : You've got a pet hydralisk?
Man : Yes, I chose him out of thousands. I didn't like the others, they were all too slimy.
Clerk : You must be a loony.
Man : I am not a loony. Why should I be tarred with the epithet 'loony' merely because I have a pet hydralisk? I've heard tell that Mutant has a pet peon called Simon - you wouldn't call him a loony! Furthermore Tender Fury, the lady webmaster, had an ultralisk called Lanh, after the late webmaster. Dioxide has two broodlings, both called Amberite, and Chaplan had an 'addock! So if you're calling the author of 'A la recherce des meilleures strategies' a loony, I shall have to ask you to step outside!
Clerk : All right, all right, all right. A licence?
Man : Yes!
Clerk : For a hydra.
Man : Yes!
Clerk : You *are* a loony.
Man : Look, it's a bleeding pet, isn't it? I've got a licence for me pet zergling Eric, I've got a licence for me pet defiler Eric.
Clerk : You don't need a licence for your defiler.
Man : I bleedin' well do and I've got one! Can't be caught out there!
Clerk : There is no such thing as a bloody Defiler Licence.
Man : Yes there is.
Clerk : No there isn't.
Man : Is!
Clerk : Isn't!
Man : I've bleedin' got one, look! What's that then?
Clerk : This is a zergling licence with the word 'Zergling' crossed out and 'Defiler' written in in crayon.
Man : Man didn't have the right form.
Clerk : What man?
Man : The man from the Defiler detector van.
Clerk : The loony detector van, you mean.
Man : Look, it's people like you wot cause unrest.
Clerk : What Defiler detector van?
Man : The Defiler detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.
Clerk : Housinge?
Man : It was spelt like that on the van. I'm very observant. I never seen so many bleedin' aerials. The man said their equipment could pinpoint a dark swarm at four hundred yards, and Eric being such a happy defiler was a piece of cake.
Clerk : How much did you pay for this?
Man : Sixty quid and eight for the scourge.
Clerk : What scourge?
Man : Eric the scourge.
Clerk : Are all your pets called Eric?
Man : There's nothing so odd about that. Deathwing had an entire menagerie called Clonk!
Clerk : No he didn't.
Man : Did!
Clerk : Didn't!
Man : Did, did, did, did, did and did!
Clerk : Oh all right.
Man : Spoken like a gentleman, sir. Now, are you going to give me a hydralisk licence?
Clerk : I promise you that there is no such thing. You don't need one.
Man : In that case give me an infested terran licence.
Clerk : A licence for your infested terran?
Man : Correct.
Clerk : Called Eric? Eric the terran?
Man : No.
Clerk : No?
Man : No, Eric the half terran. He had an accident.
Clerk : You're off your chump.
Man : Look, if you intend by that utilization of an obscure colloquialism to imply that my sanity is not up to scratch, or even to deny the semi-existence of my little chum Eric the half terran, I shall have to ask you to send email to this address: ToujoursTriomphe@python.com
by The Black Knight (TriumphaboSemper@python.com)
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