These three phrases are:

"I appreciate, and........."

"I respect, and..........."

"I agree, and..........."

In each phrase, you accomplish three things.

You are building rapport by entering the other person's world and acknowledging their communication, rather than ignoring it, invalidating it, or denigrating it with words like "but" or "however."

You are creating a frame of agreement that bonds you together.

You are opening the door to redirecting something without creating resistance.

Imagine someone is saying to you, "You're absolutely wrong," about something. If you say, "No, I'm not wrong," just as strongly, are you going to remain in rapport? No, you are opening the door to conflict.

There will be resistance from each person, and a conflict begins. Instead, say to the person, "I respect the intensity of your feelings about this, and I think if you were to hear my side of it you might feel differently."

You don't have to agree with the entire content of what the other person is saying. If you listen good enough, you can always find something to appreciate, respect, or agree with regarding someone's feelings about something. You can appreciate their feelings because if you lived in their shoes, if you had their same perception, you realize that you might feel the same way they do.

You can also appreciate someone else's intentions. Many times two people on opposite sides of an issue don't appreciate each other's viewpoints, so they won't even hear each other. Sincerely listen to what the other person is saying without interrupting them.

If you use the three statements listed, you will find yourself listening more intently to what the other person is saying and discovering new ways to appreciate people and their viewpoints. It is much easier to respect someone you can agree with on any subject.

Appreciation, respect, and agreement are three things that all humans need, regardless of the type relationship.