1000s of Mirrors
1000s of times ive looked into 1000s of mirrors. 1000s of times i questioned those 1000s of mirrors about who i am. and 1000s of times those 1000s of mirrors answered my 1000s of questions with 1000s of nothings. Never have I been able to tell myself who i am. its simple as to why i havent been able to answer myself. i dont know. never have i known. sure, ive been labeled and had adjectives thrown at me, but none of those things help me recognize my ownself as to who i am. I just stare back in confusion as i run my fingers over my face. its always my face that throws me off the most. maybe its because it is the least looked at part of me. but then how can i recognize my own thoughts and feelings when i see their mirror images? i rarely look at them either. why should i? i know they are there (at least at times), so why pay them any more attention? but back to the mirrors and the single question that ive asked every single one of them. i dont like looking at a mirror and seeing what i see as a stranger. i dont see who would like it. but there ARE strange people in this strange world. i might be one of them. after all, i do like seeing myself as a stranger. i am writing this. if i ddint see what i see then i would have nothing to write at this moment. So that is a side of it that i like. but there are so many other things that i could write about. i guess just wondering who you are is just a bit pathetic. and, of course, depressing. it adds an emptiness that is hard to fill. how can you know who anyone else is if you cant even recognize yourself? again, questions. i have so many, but wondering who you are when you look into a stupid mirror has to be the most frustrating. especially when people as you who you are. you give them a name. that isnt who you are though. so why do they ask WHO you are expecting your name? they should just ask for your name. again, though, im getting off track from my dilemma. so i am constantly a stranger. if i followed the whole safety rule about not taking candy from a stranger and not talking to strangers then i would have to insist on myself to be wary of myself and not take what i offer. i should also stop my persistent talking to oneself too. Who knows what that would lead to. maybe good, maybe bad. id have to try it to find out, but i dont think i will. ill just flow with the path that i am on. it will end one day. that is when i can test things out. still, though, i wonder if anyone else sees themselves as a stranger or even surprised at what is in the mirror they gaze upon. some of us, or at least me, just cant get away from using that ol' element of surprise even when doing simple things like checking oneself out in that devil mirror. perhaps i shouldnt call it a devil mirror. it really isnt the mirrors fault. at least i dont believe so. but who knows. so many things are possible even though we are so often taught that basically everything is impossible. and so, we dont even attempt to go to the full beyond. oh well. maybe even impossibility is possible. so, everyday i will gaze into a mirror, receiving the same reaction from myself, 1000s of answers to 1000s of questions to 1000s of looks in 1000s of mirrors.
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Email: AikaBear@juno.com
