nothing happened
i lay on embedded sheets
covered with the flowered petals of lies
wondering how i got there
not knowing why i was
but not sure if it even mattered
letting his words echo
but not really listening
what if this is what i wanted?
could wonder about it all day
but i wondered it the most when i looked into his eyes
his pupils were big
all i could see were their darkness
they were just like big ink blotches
soaking up everything
just as his fingers were doing
as they moved along my stomach
trying to work his plan
but me stopping them dead
strange how i felt that i wasnt really there
i was physically
but my mind was months behind
only thinking of my love
and how i should be with him
not someone who was even further down in my past
but alas i wasnt
and so i had to remember
what was happening
and how i fought not to let anything more
winning in the end
but his lips were still on mine
and i could remember how he tried to make it more
change me from myself
and his hands creeping on
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