I sit and think about my life and what I've become. I try and change, but my life continues to be the same. I cannot control it. People leave and enter my life. Some I wish to stay, but it is inevitable that they go.
I cannot conquer the time and distance. It is something out of my control. No matter how much I try to beat it, it does not change and I do not change. I wonder why I have this life. Is it a cruel or good life?? I do not know. It is just there.
For every good thing that happens something bad must happen. It is always the same, always unchanging. The hand the gods have given me is cruel. Do I control my life or do they?? Perhaps neither.
Maybe I chose my destiny and it is flowing by and no matter what I do to try and change it it will always end the same. Only vital people will stay in my life. All others will just pass by. Events will come and go. Good ones will be remembered, but all will make my destiny and fate progress.
I do not know what the conclusion to my destined life will be. I just hope I picked the right one and didn't get one that I may regret. I ponder if when I'm gone if I will be remembered. I do not know if I deserve to be remembered. I never did anything grand or special.
I was not a spectacular person or famous, but perhaps that is why I will be remembered by the ones who loved and cared and who destiny and fate selected to remember me. Is fate as destructive as some say she is?? I do not think so. She does what we've told her to do before and during life. We give her the plan.
All she does is fulfill it so we go to our destiny. Such things I figure out as I sit in this old chair, staring out a window at an empty, grassy field. I am lost and waiting to be found. I'm not sure if I want to be found though. Others might not understand if I speak to them of what I know.
I will just allow fate's hands to guide me. I will fulfill a destiny. It may be great. Only horrid time will tell and let me flow through the tragic distance. These are two things that you cannot control because fate does not allow it.
I will challenge fate. I need what I want and want what I need. I will cross this empty field and find myself where fate never allowed me to be. In the arms of the one I love and no other whether she allows it or not. It will be done.

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