Have you ever woken up and had that strange feeling that something out of the ordinary was headed on a crash course towards you? Well, I still have yet to experience this, and that's really besides the point. I'm one of those types who likes it told straight up! Yet my life seems to want to beat around the bush. For example, and this is going to be a tedieous one. Well infact this is going to be a story, but not just any story. It's an event, but not your typical event. It's an experience. Strange you may ask? Why naturally.
I graduated from high school a year ago. Back then I had my future all planned out. I was going to go straight to college and spend at least 6 years in such an educational institution, establish a career, find Mr. Perfect, (but by this point I will settle for a man), maybe get married and die. Yep, sounds pretty much like a plan! Oh yeah, like I was saying, I had this all planned out. Well look at me now! I'm enrolled in a community college, I have no idea what I'm going to do for a career choice, and fate has me working in the salsa pits of hell (don't ask it's another story, another time)..... and I am still looking for a man.
So that was two months ago, I finally decided it was time to change my monotonous life, so I finally got my lazy butt up, made a few phone calls, spent a few bucks, and have given myself the opportunity for a promising future, at least for the next year or so. I am enrolled in a 4 year college, with an excellent over seas study program I might add, and I have my self a ticket to Australia to begin studying for that oh so promising future. Where am I now? (you may be asking yourself, and if you are, you are too involved in this story, and are, quite frankly, scaring me!) But since you asked, I'm sitting in my window seat on a New York grounded airplane, waiting to take off for the great beyond. I'm also running back and forth to the bathroom. Did I mention, I'm a little hung over from the going away party my freinds threw me last night? I'm sorry, did I say a little? Now that I've gotten thru my intro, I can finally start to express myself in the present tense. So yeah, that's right, I'm finally getting to the story.
I'm waiting to take off and the stewardess brings me some tylenol, extra strength, and an eye mask, to block out the brightness of those little reading lights. Man!!! You don't know how bright those things actually are! They've had to at least put in 100 watt bulbs in those suckers! So I feel myself, finally and thank god finally, start to nod off. I wake up, it's four hours later, and am surprised to be up in the air. Everything is blurry, and I can barely makeout my neighbor sitting next to me. I believe he's trying to say something, but I can hardly hear a word, since my ears are plugged, and it usually takes me 45 minutes to fully gain consciousness and function when I wake up. Anyways, I feel really disoriented, and promise myself to never do a full bottles worth of Peach Shnapps shots in 23 minutes, ever again! Hey! That reminds me, someone DID steal my half-empty bottles of Baileys last night! I am making a mental note to kill my good friend Al, who is most likely to have taken it, when i get back to the states.
Oh my god!!!! I'm actually heading to Australia. I'm finally living out a dream I've had since I was 9! I am so caught up with everything that has happened, that I forgot what was happening! I stretch, and look around. My neighbor is bunched up into a ball, and is trying to catch a few Z's himself. All I see is a mangled mess of blond locks. I turn back towards the window and admire my view of a pitch black sky. I am so pshyched, I've never ever had a window seat before. I reach down into my backpack, and take out my c.d. player and case. I pop in Neon Ballroom. I guess I don't realize that I have the volume up so high. It seems to be disturbing my neighbor. I really can't hear him, but I think he is moaning and saying No! I'm also guessing he doesn't like silverchair. Under my breath, I curse him for loathing such good music. So I disregard my neighbor, and begin to flip thru my copy of Cosmopolitan. I'm reading this really good article, about finding your man's sex G spot. I start thinking why am I even reading this, since I still don't have Mr. Perfect to practice on.
My good ol' neighbor is starting to move around a bit. It seems he is putting in a lot of effort to get my attention. As I look up, he turns around and starts engaging in conversation with 2 people behind us. I turn back to my magazine and become one with the glossy pages. I keep looking over at my neighbor but he is around the corner of his seat and is still talking to the 2 guys. I wonder what he actually looks like. Then I realize how messy his hair is, and feel blood rush my face and start to put 2 and 2 together. If his hair is in a style that messy, then .................oh my god! My hair must be a wreck since i've been sleeping longer than him! Let me just whip out my mirror, I'm checking out my curls, slappin' on some moon rock candy lip gloss, and voila! Gorgeous...well duhhh!
I look up and see the stewardess coming down the aisle, taking drink orders. It's about time! I'm more parched than a piece of paper! She asks what I would like to drink, and I reply with "Cranberry juice, please." That stuff is so good, and it really flushes out the kidneys. I slide my headphones back on, and go back to my magazine, since I figure it will be another 10 minutes till she comes back with the drinks. AWW MAN! I almost forgot, so I lean over as she is taking the drink order of the people behind us, and ask her to bring a bottle of water. I take a quick glimpse at the 2 brown haired guys behind me. I feel my face turn pale and my heart stops. I am having a panic attack! I turn quickly back into my seat. I am too afraid to double check what I just saw! I believe I just saw....naw couldn't be, I mean all the way up here?!?!? A spider? I am incredibly arachnaphobic! I look up and realize it's a piece of fuzz. I'm a moron. I can't help notice as my neighbor continues to converse with the 2 brown haired guys, that he keeps pointing back at me. I disregard it as I do everything else.
Here comes the stewardess, I sing happily to myself, la di dadada, it's about time dida dida! She hands my neighbor a glass of reddish orange liquid. Hory Cow!!! Had I known they had V-8 splash, I would have gotten some. She hands my neighbor my glass, and he turns around and hands it to me. Of course my mouth drops open and my jaw hits the floor, as I finally notice who is sitting next to me on the plane headed for NewCastle, Australia. None other than.................................... Taylor Hanson,(jk). I blink my eyes in utter disbelief. I am not seeing this!!!!!
He says,"Hi! My name is Daniel. It's about time I finally get to talk to you. I couldn't help notice that you where completely knocked out for a good 4 hours or so. You didn't look to well. Must have been some party huh? Wish I could have been there!"
I'm thinking to myself, "I wish you could have been there too!" I ask Daniel, "How do you know I was hungover? I really hope it isn't that obvious."
He says, "Well I can see you know who we are, since I heard Neon Ballroom, you obviously know that Ben is quite the party animal, needless to say I know hungover when i see it."
I hear this beastly howl from behind my seat. I tilt my head back and look up. Lo and behold, there is Ben, looking over my seat down at me. I can't stand it anymore, despite the situation at hand and the fact that i'm quieving in my skivies, I can't hold it in any longer. So I politely say, looking up at Ben, "It's a pleasure to meet you, and what a mighty collection you have stored up there in that nostril of yours. Hanky?" I flash my pearly whites at him.
He immediately starts to bust up as he grabs his nose and then says, "Johnsy ol' boy, I believe we have found a treasure right here!"
Of course Chris is interested in the camotion and makes himself known. I shake his hand and introduce myself. We all begin to talk for awhile.
We exchange the basics, names, ages, family info, etc., etc., etc.......... I say, "I can't believe I'm actually meeting celebrities, this is unreal!" I lean in closer and whisper in that outloudish kind of way, "It's not everyday you are hungover and meet your idols! For all I know you could be related to that sparkly gold dragon that I had a conversation with last night."
I got nervous. Everything that comes out of my mouth is a collection of incomplete thoughts or random events that no one would know about except me, which makes me look like an arse. Makes me wonder that I must be nervous all the time. So now that you all know that I see metallic colored mystical creatures while under the influence, I hope you learn from my example and not stop drinking until you see them! Oh there I go again on that thing called a tangent!?????!!!????
In desperation I excuse myself and run to the bathroom. I have to go so bad but am afraid the smell will knock out the pilots and send the plane plummeting towards the earth and end in a terrible explosion! For the sake of my fellow passangers, I collect myself and go on holding it for another 6 hours...........sob......I don't think I can go back to my seat. I am a nervous wreck; Seeing as I'm in an emotional tizzy right now, I may pass gas (I'm emotionally constipated). The stewerdess sees me standing at the bathroom door. She asks if everything is alright.
Seeing as I'm besides myself and have no control over what comes out of my mouth I reply, "Since you forgot my bottled water I was about to result in the use of the toilet water." She looks at me strangely. I say, "I'm kidding, I just don't feel all that great right now."
She says, "Well, why don't you go back to your seat, do you need anything?"
I ask for some Mylanta but later remember that Tums has all the clacium I really need! Between the turbulance, alcohol, and meeting the boys, I am surprised I haven't redecorated the cabin with my personal touch of pink stomach acid.
I jiggle back to my seat, seeing as my legs are the consistency of strawberry yogurt, (and that does not imply that once the yogurt goes sour, it will be the consistency of cottage cheese, so DON'T go there!) I slump back into my seat trying to play it cool. My eyes are staring hard at the seat in front of me as if it were one of those magic eye pictures.
To break the silence I ask, "So how you doin'?" Yay, 16 hour plane ride!
Daniel says, "Not bad and yourself?"
I reply, "Dandy as a fish in a bowl of water thanks......" HuHHH??? What did I just say??? Oh God my toes are now tickling my pancrease, for as far as my foot is shoved down my mouth!
I know I felt a tug at my hair. I turn around and peek thru the crack of the seats and see Ben looking back at me.
He says, "I've been boinging your hair for the last 2 minutes and you are now just noticing? You have fun hair!"
I say, "Ummm why thanks, uhhh, you can boing my curls anytime you want?! Oh my!" We all start laughing.
The plane nears it's destination and everyone starts to exit the plane. I see my new roommate waiting for me. Her name is Katie. We all walk over to the luggage pick up area. I say my goodbyes to the boys and Ben gives my curls one last big Boing! All is dandy as candy, what a way to start off in a new country. All I'm thinking to myself is now what?...............
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