It has been 2 months since I arrived here in Oz. I absolutely love it! I'm, kinda homesick though. I really miss my family and dog. So the other day I went out and got a golden retriever puppy. I call her L.B., short for Liberator, named after my grandfather's W.W.II airplane the B-24 Liberator. She is a wild little thingo. Trained well by me! It's always to the park to play after my afternoon class is over. I let her play with the little kids from down the street, who are regulars like me. I work on homework while she causes trouble.
So today, I'm sitting at my usual bench, by the 3 rounded shrubbery, working on advance Calculus (fun...right right). LB is romping around and tripping over her big dumpy paws, like usual, when out of nowhere, a black and white dog, leaps over the shrubs and onto my back. As gravity would have it, I lunge forward, head first I might add, into the gravel path. I turn around in panic to see who my attacker is. The dog is fairly big and has a big smile across it's fuzzy snout. Before I know it, I have a film of doggy drawl imbedded into my facial pores. Quite alarmed, L.B. wobbles over and assumes attack dog position. She sounds like a bloody squeeze toy. Some guard dog...lol!
I collect myself (cause you know how it is when you are violently thrown into the ground and then have to go searching for limbs?) and my notebook. As I begin to pick the gravel out of my eyelids and gums, I notice that the dog is chilling at my feet. I look around, but don't see anyone suspicious of sending their dog to attack me. I mean if someone wanted to sit on the bench, I would have gladly given up my seat, no, wait, I forgot, I prefer eating depository sediment instead. I go back to my bench and take a seat sitting sideways facing the shrubs, just in case any barn yard animals happen to be catapulted over, I'll be able to duck. Not paranoid, just cautious.
I finally go back to my studies. I notice the dog won't leave. I'm a little concerned. The dog has it's tags, and is quite clean and looks well fed. Makes me assume we have ourselves an new escapee. I plan to stay at the park a little longer than usual. I don't want to leave the dog alone. L.B. is getting restless, most people are gone and it is past dinner time. I pick up L.B. and place her leash on the black and white dog. I take her home, feed her and call the dog kennel to see if anyone has reported a lost dog. I leave my name and number and tell the lady to let anyone call at anytime.
The phone rings a half an hour later. I jump up and run to pick it up. I say, "Hello?" No answer........"Hello?" I hear wheezing and a faint almost nervous voice. "Who is this?" I say.
"Ummmm is this uhhhh Melissa?"
"Yes, who is this? Are you calling about the dog?" I reply.
"Oh yeah! You found a dog! Good for you! Is she any trouble?"
I say, "No she is a very well behaved dog actually, who is this?"
The male voice on the other end answers, "Right you mean to tell me you forgot already?! Thanks a lot, I mean this may seem kinda self-centered, but I consider myself to be one of those people one tends not to forget!"
I exclaim, "AL!?!?!!? Is it you???"
"Of course silly, who else?"
I give Al, my friend who got me piss-ass drunk that night of the going away party, on the subject of that night. I hang up 2 hours later. That phone call is going to cost him a pretty penny! I go to sleep.
The next morning I find L.B. using the black and white dog as a pillow. I wish I knew the dogs name. I think I'll call her Broom. She looks bristly and slender like one. I feed the dogs, and take an early trip out to the park. What a beautiful day I think to myself. No one is sitting on my bench. Yippee! (I love saying Yippee, it's such a fun word.......oh hell I'm a twit!) (Twit. That is another good word, twit, it is, it really is!)
Both of the dogs are playing, while I'm reading a magazine. An hour passes. All of a sudden the dog takes off towards me. I'm thinking to myself "Oh no not again, at least I'll end up in some green leafy shrubs, instead of jagged earth!" The dog bounds over my head and into a guys arm's behind me. The man sounds ecstatic to see his dog, as I'm assuming it is his. L.B. gallops toward the commotion, she always has to be related to the cause of chaos. I yell for her to come back, but she ignores me. She is oblivious to everything around her, which reminds me of my friend Jeanne, who none to say the least is blond (I did not mean to offend those w/ light pigmented hair, it is just that jeanne is the epitome of blond jokes) (I myself have brown hair but attempted to put blond highlights in it, does that qualify me for being partially blond? Good question, maybe since the color turned my hair orange in certain spots makes me accident prone but not necessarily blond. Just think of all the great blondes history has produced.................hmmmmm................. .uhhhh yeah......)
Before I can say anything the guy speaks and says, "You are the girl from the plane, Melissa, right?"
I am surprised he recognizes, but I do have one of those faces. I say to him, "So how was the return trip to the states?"
"Great," he replies, "The sky was clear and beautiful." I really like this guy, must have been the nicest pilot I ever flew with. He tells me, "Sally, you remember her, the stewardess, says hi, and hopes you're feeling better."
"Thanks!" I say.
"Umm, here is your dog, she must have smelled the salami on my clothes, I just got back from the deli."
"Oh. Sorry, I hope she didn't hurt you."
"No problem, it's all good! Well, I have to go now, nice seeing you!"
I yell back, "BYE!!!!"
So the dog I nicknamed Broom is lying in my arms. This dog is so spontaneous, I think again as she jumps out and books it toward a person coming at us.
SWEEP!!!! Girl where have you been?????!!!!!"
I don't really know how to end this, it's just dragging, so let's speculate, persay: so here's what happened to everyone..............I finished my year of studies and bought a house near the ocean after I won on Who Want's To Be A Millionaire. My roommate Katie moved to the States, but hiked it up to Winnipeg to become a Canadian Monty~ever see Due South, that guy is hot~~~
L.B. had 5 litters of puppies with Chris's Dog. Sweep caught the rodent, which she was chasing when she had run away from Dan , under the shrub which is by the bench in the park located on my street in New Castle, which is found in New South Wales, seated in Australia in the southern Hemisphere, on the earth , in the solar system of the Milky way.....you get it?!
Ben still works part time at the record shop, but invested in a business and made huge profits, marketing, "What's the Dill?" Pickle Company. Chris became a mime after forgetting how to talk from lack of the remaining 21 hours to speak. He performs next to the bench, by the shrubs, in the park.............And Daniel moved to England where he married Geri Halliwel and hired the girl from the kissing picture as his maid.
Natalie ran away with Prince Henry who then dumped her for Mandy Moore, cause she was missing him like candy, after she later dumped him for Eminem who watched Brittney Spears get into a bitch fight with Christina Agullara over Prince William (all three died) which was tragic to Brittney's husband Justin Timberlake, Bye Bye Bye don't wanna be a fool for you who is actually gay with Howie Dourough from the BSB, guess he wanted it that way, who then later had a three some with Christopher Lowell of Interior Motives on the Discovery channel, cause hey baby, they ain't nutthin' but mammals....and the Hanson brothers lived happily everafter.............
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