"Today, our show is about - "
"You lying ----ing bastard! You
----ing ---hole! You - "
"Love means never having to say
you're sorry..."
"I'll be back."
"Billy, no! BILLY, NOOOOO! Please
don't - "
He switched off the TV. Flipping channels for three hours straight had worn him out and it was time to feed Sweep. Daniel stood up, all 105 pounds of him and trotted towards the kitchen. He opened his refrigerator slowly while yawning. He bent down to peer into the half-empty box and find nothing of interest to him, only to slam the door shut in frustration. "I never have any fucking food."
As he walked over towards the cupboard, as if it took way too much effort to shuffle his feet, he grabbed the box of Moist 'N' Beefy dog food and, grossed out, dumped it into the little bowl he bought for his girl. Sweep was a great dog, not too big and not too small, very playful, and a great midnight-black color that he looked forward to waking up next to every day. For a while he thought only he would say that about his pet. But then he found the Pro Pets Society. They inspired him to quit eating meat, to stop the bullshit and just face the world.
Sometimes he cherished the internet. "Thank God for computers," he whispered as he turned his on. It was a slow Packard Bell that froze as soon as he got to his destined website and wouldn't stop beeping at him for the life of the damn thing. Not that it had life, but it sure seemed like it sometimes. Especially in those chat rooms. Those suckers are addicting when you've got nothing else to do all day long. It's great to sit back, relax, and talk to faceless people about whatever the hell you want in the comfort of your own home. Who could ask for more? "Fucking arsehole. Un-freeze. Un-freeze! Damnit!"
Daniel looked over at Sweep who was enjoying her beefy food and sighed. There was absolutely nothing to do. He got up from his computer desk and walked to the large window that faced the beach. "Sweep, want to go out? Want to go out, girl? Huh? Come on, girl, let's go for a walk." He grabbed Sweep's long chain and hooked it to her red collar.
Just as he opened the door, the phone rang. "Fuck." He rolled his eyes and turned around, just looking at the damn thing, knowing he didn't want to answer it. But he had no choice. What if it was Ben? Or Chris? Or his mum or dad, or someone in his family?
"Hullo?"
"Hey stranger."
"Heath, what's up, man?"
"Not much. How have you been? I
mean, how have things been going, you
know?"
"Yeah, I've been okay...well I guess
I've been better. You? How's
school?"
"Summer school, bro, summer school.
It sucks my left nut and mum is just
killing me every day to 'Do your
studies! Do your studies!' Man, you
are so
fucking lucky to have your own
place."
Daniel closed his eyes. The last
thing he wanted right now was to hear
about his mum's nagging. It reminded
him of the doctor. She was bugging him
day and night, night and day to go to
the doctor. Why, he hadn't a clue. He
was still standing. His hair wasn't
falling out in clumps. So he'd lost
weight, so what? Who gives a rat's ass?
Too many people, that's who. He'd
been getting hundreds of letters per
month and they were all trying to
sympathize with him. Nobody could do
that anymore. He wouldn't let them.
"Heath, I was just about to walk
Sweep. Can I get back to you
later?"
"Yeah, bro. Talk to you later."
"Tell Chelsea and Mum I said hi.
Adios."
"Bye, Dan."
*Click.*
The sun was bright, shining in Daniel's eyes like there would be no tomorrow. As he walked barefoot on the warm sand he realized that Sweep wasn't next to him anymore. He turned his body around, fiercely looking for Sweep. "Sweep, here girl. Sweep! Where are you?"
"Chill, dude...she's over here." Daniel spun around to see Ben walking towards him.
He sighed with relief. "Hey."
"Hey, Dan. How's it hangin'? Low and always to the left? Huh? Ahhh hahaha! I crack myself up."
Daniel grinned. Ben was a nerd. "Ben, do you have a life?"
"I sure do, Mr. Stay-at-home-and-don't-have-a-girlfriend . It's more exciting than yours. And more exciting than Chris', I can tell you that much. Did you know he and Renee are in Los Angeles?"
"His mom told me. Nice of him to mention it to us, eh?"
Ben shook his head and threw a stick for Sweep.
Why didn't Chris tell them anything? It's not like he and Renee were married. Duh.
Daniel heaved a sigh and kept on walking, staring at the weird way the sun's light bounced off the ocean and made Ben's hair look almost orange. Ben was rambling on about something that had to do with his hair, about how he wanted to get it cut. That made Daniel perk up. "What?! No way. Do not cut your hair."
"I have to! It is so annoying. I wake up every morning and have to brush it like a chick does. It sucks. I hate it. I'm lopping it all off and if you don't want to have sex with me anymore that's fine, but it's your loss."
Daniel laughed, "Ben, fuck off. If you cut your hair you're just giving people what they want! A new, sexier you." He grinned tauntingly and rammed into Ben.
As they fought on the ground, Daniel knowing damn well he was going to be a pancake in a matter seconds, he remembered what life used to be like. Back when they were fourteen, back when they used to have squirt gun fights backstage and back when they used to joke about sex all the time. Those were the days. Now all Daniel wanted to do was stay home and watch dark, depressing movies. Which can be fun, of course...but not when that's what you do for the 16 hours a day you're awake. Or 20 hours if you're Daniel.
The stood up, sandy and wet. The water had run up the beach and slathered them with its wetness just to piss them off, no doubt. Sweep was looking grimy so Daniel decided to walk her home and Ben agreed to come with.
Back at the house, they bathed Sweep in Dan's tub while chatting about girls. And guys.
Ben ranted, "And I don't even understand why girls get all the breaks. We're supposed to be the manly ones, the ones who do all the paying, asking out, making the first move...why don't they ever do anything? All they do is sit there and complain about your shirt being wrinkled or your shoes not matching your underwear or some dumb shit like that. I just don't even get it. I give up."
"Yeah," agreed Daniel. "I know. It's horrible. Sometimes I just want to give females up and wank. But I haven't done that for a while."
Ben looked up in disbelief. "Yeah fucking right! You sit here in this house all alone all day and never pull it? Sure. Whatever, man."
"I'm serious! I haven't done that in like, a month. A month and a half. I'm serious."
Ben just rolled his eyes. "Sure. All you ev--" Ben's argument was cut off by the ringing of that damn phone. Daniel sighed and started to get up. "Don't worry," said Ben, "I'll get it." Daniel was thankful as he plopped back down and continued to rub the sudsy Sweep.
"Daniel's crib," answered Ben.
"Hahahaha....who is this?
Chris?"
"Chris? Don't insult me. This is
Ben."
"OH MY GOD, you guys, it's Ben! Oh
my God!"
Ben pulled the phone away from his ear and winced. He peeked his head around the corner to yell to Daniel. "Dan, there's some crazy bitch on the phone. Should I hang up?"
Daniel walked into the room and grabbed the phone with a soapy left hand. "Hello? Hel...hello? For Christ's sake, asshole, shut up. Ugh!" He hung up the phone, pissed off, and stormed back into the bathroom. He almost screamed with frustration as he slipped in a puddle of dirty water on the tile floor. "Gosh darn it, I hate this fucking house! Ugh!"
He didn't even know what he was saying. He just wanted to get out. Sitting in that house was the last thing he wanted right now. "Ben, let's go out. Call Kathy and Rita and we'll do something. Get me out of this fucking house."
Ben beamed. He went
home to
change and wash up. He called Kathy, his
"significant other" and his friend
Rita to tell them Daniel was coming
around. They were ecstatic and told Ben
where to meet them. This was going to
be a hell of a night.