"Renee, I know. I know, baby. I'm sorry," Chris whined into the phone. "I know, I hate being away for this long. I miss you so much. I don't know what I'm going to do for the next month. I'm so sorry."
Ben rolled his eyes, "Chris, when are you going to let up? You're whipped boy," he said to his good friend who was tied up on the phone for more than an hour now, telling his girlfriend of a few years that he would be home sooner or later.
She wasn't convinced. She kept on whining. "Chris, I can't stand being away from you this long. I hate it. It is so fucking stupid that you have to go out and play your little guitar and have girls screaming at you while I sit home, watching TV and observing all of my girlfriends while they go out and date and have a good time. I want you home!"
It was always the same. Chris would much rather be home, but he had a commitment that had lasted him oh, five years now to be in a touring band while his girlfriend was miserable the whole time. It was 3 a.m. "Renee, I am exhausted. I gotta go. I'll call you in a few days, I promise. I love you. No, I love you more. Look we're not going to do this, because I will win and you will cry. So I'm hanging up now. I love you. Goodbye." Chris slammed the phone into the receiver and wiped his forehead. How stressful.
"Chris, darling, I'm tired. I'm going to my room now, okay? Chill out and take a Valium. Sleep tight." With that, Ben left the room.
Chris flipped on
his small hotel television to see what
was on. Oooh, pay-per-view movies.
Chris got a naughty idea and decided it
might be a good idea to just give in
and order one of those damn 4-hour
blocks that the bad channels provided
for
guys like himself. The guys who were
sexually frustrated. You get the
picture. Chris nervously picked up the
phone again and dialed the 1-800 number.
He
pushed the right buttons when the
automated voice told him to, and soon
enough the movies began on the
designated channel. His eyes widened.
What he
saw on that television was the craziest
thing he'd ever seen. He'd never
imagined any intimate act involving ice
cubes, a feathered boa and a computer
mouse. But nonetheless, this was very
sexy. Veeeerrrryyyy sexy and Chris
could not help but look down at his
result to staring at the screen and
blush, even though he was in the privacy
of his own locked hotel room. He did
what any guy would do in this
position.
And this is where the scene fades
out.
Ben whistled the Scarecrow song from "The Wizard of Oz" as he strolled down the long, empty hallway, snapping his fingers and looking around. He wasn't tired, he was just bored and he had no idea what he should do at this time of night. He decided to get creative.
He turned around and saw an elevator. Casually walking over to it, he could feel the juices flowing in his head. He pushed the elevator button that would take him to a different floor, and while waiting for the doors to open, knocked on every single hotel door he could.
When he saw the big metal doors part, he ran to the contraption, hopped in and slammed his body against the control panel, not really caring which floor he got to as long as he got the hell out of there.
The elevator brought him to the lobby, and before the doors even opened to let him out he could hear phones ringing off the hook at the front desk, and the secretaries assuring people, "It's probably just some crazy kid, nothing to worry about, sorry for the inconvenience." Ben's motto just confirmed itself. When in doubt, raise a little hell.
The next morning, Daniel awoke to find that he couldn't breath out of his nose. He sat up and started coughing right away. "Fuck," he said, figuring he'd woken up with a bad cold. There was a show tonight. He pushed himself up off of his bed and walked groggily into the bathroom. He unzipped the cargos he'd slept in and relieved himself, while thinking what he was going to do about the concert when he had a horrible cold. Dan turned around and washed his hands, looking into the mirror while he dried his hands. He did a double take. "What the fucking hell..." He turned up his head and looked at his nose. What he saw made him crack up, only to double over in pain when he felt the things fly out from laughing. He picked up a couple of hard orange projectiles from the floor and shook his head. Cheetos. Ben was going to hear about this.
When he opened the bathroom door he found Ben sitting at the counter with his head in his hands. Daniel thought something must be wrong, until he saw Ben shaking. He was laughing.
Daniel quickly stuffed the Cheetos back up his nose and did all he could to keep a straight face. He walked over to his mate. "Ben," Daniel asked, "is something the matter?" He sincerely looked at his friend who was laughing so hard it was a miracle he was still breathing. Ben glanced up and that was the end of it. The two bursted out laughing and couldn't stop. They were trying to hold themselves up with their arms on the counter but their energy was being drained from their fits of giggles, and Daniel's nose was begginning to feel sore.
There was a knock at the door. Ben reached over and yanked the food out of Daniel's poor nose and told him to go see who was there. Dan wiped his face and hoped the tear-streaks weren't too obvious. He walked over to the door and, realizing he didn't have a shirt on, grabbed a ballpoint pen sitting on the dresser and drew a happy face on his chest, its eyes being his nipples.
He turned to Ben and when he got his friend's approval, opened the heavy door. "How can I help you?" He froze. There she was, with her chocolate-colored hair pulled into a messy bun on top of her pretty head, with her librarian-like glasses and surprisingly, a blue dress with a hideous collar fitted uncomfortably on her curvy frame.
He had no idea what she could possibly be doing here. She blushed, and then looked down. She burst into laughter at his wonderful creation and laughed even harder when he spun around and ran to his suitcase to get a shirt. As he pulled on his shirt he walked back over to the door, giving Ben, who might as well have been on the floor unconsious by, now a dirty look. He crossed his skinny arms in front of his chest. "Hi."
"Hi, I'm here to clean up your room," she said, in a voice that he'd never heard before. It wasn't high and squeaky, like that of the girls he'd met recently. It was a little scratchy, but she had the coolest American accent he'd ever heard.
But then he remembered where he was, and couldn't help but wonder why she was here as well. She worked there. The first time he'd saw her, she was in Newcastle, walking down an old empty street in the opposite direction he'd been walking. Why was she in America? Or better yet, why had she been in Australia?
He realized he was being rude and let her in. "I'm sorry, I'm tired. What's your name?"
"Judy," she said. "And you?"
He grinned when he heard that. Thank God she didn't already know his name. "Daniel," he replied. She blinked and he saw that she had really dark eyelashes, very thick and they perfectly covered her eyelids. She was wearing brown powder on her eyes and it matched her hair. She gave him a sideways glance when she noticed him checking out her face, and continued on.
She grabbed his blankets and he saw her nails painted dark blue. "Where are you from, Daniel? I noticed an accent," she wanted to know.
Oh my gosh, Daniel thought, she doesn't know where I'm from. This is absolutely wonderful. Someone who doesn't know my whole life story. "I'm from Australia. New South Wales."
"Well then, what are you doing in the grand ol' States?"
"Touring," he said, then caught himself. He didn't want to talk about music. "Yeah. Touring. I should be headed back to Australia in about a month or so. Are you from here?"
She sighed a heavy sigh and went back to making the bed. "Unfortunately, yeah. You're lucky to be from Australia. I love it there," she said, with a touch of hope in her voice. "Do you?"
"Of course I love it there, it's fantastic." Daniel secretly wished in the back of his head that she'd beg him to take her with when he went home. But of course, that's a crazy idea.
"Take me with you! Gosh, I'd give anything to go back there. Last time I was visiting family and they are just terrible. They all hate me, I swear. I don't know why my parents chose to move here but they did, and I wish I could go back in time and convince them to stay in Australia." She widened her eyes and laughed, shaking her head. "Sorry," she said very apologetically. "You don't care. But I do love it there." She tossed his used sheets onto her cart.
Daniel just smiled. "Yeah," he said. "I know what you mean. Are you-" Daniel was stopped by a loud crashing noise. He winced and, looking towards the teeny kitchen area of the suite saw his buddy staring down at the floor, pots and pans all over the tile.
"The cabinet was too full!" Ben protested when Daniel called him clumsy.
He looked back over at Judy and saw that she already had new towels on the bathroom racks and was on her way out with the hotel cart. "Hey, nice chatting. Nice to have met you, Daniel."
She closed the door behind her, and Daniel stood in awe with his mouth dropped open, not even wanting to believe what had just happened. "Oh my fucking God, Ben. Thanks."
Ben just looked at him with a wrinkle in his forehead, confused. "What?!"
Daniel clicked his tongue in irritation, stepped into his shoes and grabbed his purple jacket. "Later," he said as he walked out the door.
Ben turned back to his dilemma and started packing the dishes back into the same crammed cabinet. When it looked satisfactory he left the room and went back to his own. Maybe he could get some sleep now. He looked at his watch. "Eh," he said. "Nine a.m.'s not too late to get some rest."