The Secret Life Of Ben


"Does his make up in his room, douse himself with cheap perfume". Ah, how true, thought Ben, or should I say 'Benjamina' as 'she' put the finishing touches to her perfectly applied lipliner. Pout... apply... blot... just like Danny Boy taught me, thought Benjamina as she blew herself a kiss in the mirror. "I'm so sexy, that if I was someone else I'd definitely want me!" she told herself. And with that she stood up, adjusted her tight black mini skirt to a less pornographic level and with a flick of her long, silky brown hair, flounced out of the door. Benjamina was set to perform at the "Glitter Ball', the most hip happening and hip drag queen club in town, and was exercising her vocal chords getting ready for her big number. She felt nervous, but just thought about her beloved Chris back at home and everything was ok.

As she paced about backstage, waiting to go on, Benjamina heard a familiar voice... soft, slightly feminine, yet male... then she saw a mass of tousled blonde hair... "Daniel?" she screamed. The person turned round and to Benjamina's utter surprise it was who she had previously thought - her bandmate, Daniel.

"Ben!?!" Dan screamed back, just as surprised as Benjamina.

"Oh my god!" they both shouted together.

"Ssh," hissed the curtain call, "keep quiet!"

"Shit, Dan, what're you doing here?" asked Benjamina, lowering her voice to almost a whisper.

"I was about to ask you the same thing," said Dan, "and it's Danielle actually."

'Hmm, Daniel, I mean Danielle actually looks rather cute in that dress' thought Benjamina who quickly harbored any of 'those' thoughts to answer Danielle's question. "I work here. I'm the all-singing, all-dancing cabaret act. I'm surprised you hadn't heard of me before now. How come you're here?"

"I'm working here too! Well, for tonight at least. You know the usual exotic pole dancer? Well she called in sick so the events organiser asked me to fill in. She said she'd seen my performance at Homebake 99 and was pretty impressed with my provocative hip movements, so here I am!" explained Danielle.

"Cool," said Benjamina, "Wait a minute, I have an idea..."

Meanwhile, Chris, who was feeling lonely at home since Dan and Ben were nowhere to be found, had decided to treat himself to a night out. He'd managed to score a ticket for this hot, exclusive [strip] club in town and he was on his way to the venue. "I mean, this isn't really cheating on Ben, is it?" he asked himself out loud in the car on his way over. "No, he's buggared off somewhere anyway. And I'm a good boy... I'll be faithful" he said, smiling at the thought of Ben's beautiful face. Chris arrived at the club, just in time for the main act, who he'd heard was a real cutie, but he was sure that she'd be nothing on Ben. He seated himself at a table in front of the large stage and ordered himself a drink waiting for the show to start.

The house lights were down low and the spotlight was centered on a figure on the stage, shimmying along to the song that she was singing. Chris was loving it, but he found the singer to be very familiar...

"....Tonight for the first time, just about half past ten, for the first time in history, it's gonna start raining men!" sang Benjamina, strutting her funky stuff across the stage. "It's raining men!" "HALLELUJAH!" shouted Danielle as she burst from the red velvet curtains behind Benjamina and made her way over to the silver pole at the right hand side of the stage.

"Daniel? What the fuck...?" exclaimed a very confused Chris, recognising the new addition to the stage. Then it dawned on him... Ben! Ben was the singer! No wonder he found her to be so sexy! Chris stayed in a state of stunned silence, unable to speak for the rest of the act.

"It's raining men! Amen! I'm gonna go out, let my self get, absolutely soaking wet!....."

After Benjamina and Danielle's little show was over, Chris ran backstage to find his bandmates. He found them in Danielle's dressing room, giggling with excitement and sipping champagne while discussing their new-found affinity with one another. "I came here because I was bored and pissed off with you leaving me alone, but you were fabulous darling! I didn't know that you could move like that! You too Daniel, you got 'very intimate' with that pole, didn't you?" said Chris, laughing.

"Yeah, pole dancing is my calling in life." replied Danielle. "No, baby, I find it rather alluring actually..." answered Chris in his sexiest voice.

"Oh really..." said Benjamina with a giggle.

"Ehh, I think I'll leave now..." said Danielle.

and so will we.


THE END



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