One fine summers day, three young lads by the names of Ben, Daniel and Chris were playing in their secret tree house deep in the woods somewhere in Australia.
"Ow, Daniel, get your elbow out of my eye!"
"Right, ok. Who's got their hand on my thigh? We all know there's a time and a place for these things. Usually my place very late at night."
"You know what, I think we're a little big for this tree house now." said Ben, with his face pressed up against one of the walls. "I mean, we're twenty-one years old! We should be going out and pulling chicks and drinking beer, not sitting here squashed in an old shitty tree house!"
"No!" screamed Danny in his cutesy feminine voice. "Look, if I move my leg over this way - ow - and Chris, you move your head here - ooh - look, we have lots of room to move around." Daniel was very attached to his old tree house.
The boy's struggle for space was interrupted by a male voice coming from the ground below. "Hey! What's going on up there?"
Chris managed to maneuver his head so it stuck out of the door to see a familiar face. "Hey Sam!"
"Chris, what the hell is going on?" "Eh, noth..."
Chris was interrupted by a scream coming from inside the tree house. "Ben! Stop trying to rape me! Get your hand away from there! Chris, save me!"
"I didn't mean to touch you there.” Ben said defensively.
"Why not? Don't you love me anymore?" asked Daniel, with tears welling up in his baby blue eyes, dangerously threatening to ruin his eyeliner.
"Eh, not now Dan." said Ben.
"That's what you said to me last night too..."
"Daniel! Ssh!"
Chris laughed, watching the drama unfold inside the tree house and said, "Yeah, don't worry Sam, nothing unusual's going on in here. I'm just coming down." With all the power that he could muster, Chris managed to break free from the tangled mass of limbs in the tree house and fell to the ground below him with a thud. "Dan had some stupid ass idea that we should come and find our old club house from when we were kids. He thought we could still fit in it but, you know, he is a blonde." Chris explained for the benefit of Sam.
"Shut up you knobjockey!" yelled Daniel, emerging from the tree house.
"Can we go now?" asked Ben, jumping to the ground.
"Yeah, I need to feed Sweep anyway and... oh my god! ‘Neighbours’ is on soon! Let's go!" said Daniel, leading the way.
And with that the boys made their way home, skipping along merrily down the forest path. But alack! When the boys were nearly out of the woods, they heard a scream...
"Where's Daniel?" asked Ben.
"I dunno, he ran on ahead." said Sam.
"Daniel?" Ben shouted. "DANIEL!!!"
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