PaRt 4

“Why did the house have to be at the top of a hill?” asked an already exhausted Chris, who was trailing well behind Ben and Sam on the quest to save Daniel.

“Ah, shut up you moany bastard and just hurry up, will you?” was Ben’s retort.

“I’m sorry if I’m not as big and strong and manly as you are, Sir Ben!” said Chris, in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Yeah, and you never will be.”

“Bitch!”

“Wanker!”

“Hey, hey, you two stop fighting! You sound like an old married couple! Sometimes, seriously you guys act like… wait… did you hear that?”

“What?” asked Ben, stopping dead in his tracks.

“Ssh,” said Sam. “Listen.”

“All I can hear is Chris breathing… oh no sorry, that’s hyperventilating.” said Ben.

“Hey!”

“No, wait,” said Ben, “I think I do hear something… oh my god… it’s Danny! I’d recognise that scream from anywhere! Come on, we gotta find him!”

*cue mission: impossible music*

Ben sped up the rest of the hill at lightning speed, every once in a while ducking beneath the undergrowth and diving behind a tree, hiding from the more ‘reserved’ teenies who were posted as guards at the entrance to the old house. Oceania sure has that house well protected’ he thought whilst hurtling himself behind yet another oak tree.

Chris and Sam tried to follow Ben’s tracks, but he was running too fast and the pair lost sight of him. “Is that not him there?” whispered Sam, pointing to a spot near the back of the house. “Oh no wait, it’s just a tree branch”

“Oh halle-fuckin’-lujah.” said Chris. “We’ve lost the little drummer boy as well as Dan now. Great.” Just at that, a pair of hands shot out from a bush which was providing cover for the two remaining ‘chairers and grabbed Sam and Chris, covering their mouths to muffle their shouts of protest and dragging them away into the darkness of the bush…

*meanwhile*

Daniel sat whimpering in the corner, wallowing in his own self-pity. He had been defiled. He had been degraded. He had been washed. His once grungy and tangled hair was now a perfectly groomed and shining blonde mass atop his head. He was afraid to touch it, afraid that this terrible affliction would somehow travel through his fingers and pollute his whole body. He felt corrupted – he was clean.

Oceania stood towering over Daniel, making him feel insuperior and small, adding to his fright and disliking to his oh-so-unfortunate situation. She sneered at him with the sadistic grin that he had now come accustomed to seeing. “How do we feel now my precious little Danny Boy?” she asked, in a condescending singsong voice. “Are we feeling all clean? Eh? Answer me Daniel.”

“Fuck off.”

Oceania smiled. “Such naughty words Daniel! You’re going to have to pay for that.” Suddenly, she whipped her hand out from behind her back and before Daniel had any idea of what was happening he was being saturated in a foul smelling liquid.

“No… please… no… *cough*… not perfume! Aaah! *splutter*…” Daniel tried to use his feminine arms to shield himself from the blast but his attempts were in vain, as he could do nothing to prevent his imminent torture. “Please, someone has to help me…”



Continue
Previous
Comedy Main Index
Stories Main Index