”Hey, who are you calling little?” asked Ben as he released Chris and Sam from his grasp, the trio now well hidden from sight behind the large bush.
“Ben?” said Chris in a voice of disbelief. “What the hell did you think you were doing creeping up on us like that man?”
“Saving your sorry asses, that’s what. Right listen up, I’ve got a plan.”
“Plan?” asked Sam, “What, do you mean that drummers actually do have brains?”
“Funny Sam, freakin’ hilarious. Right, I’ve got this all figured out – first thing we’re gonna need is a decoy.” Ben conspired.
“I’m not doing it.”
“Well, neither am I.”
“Chris?”
“Aww, fuck why do I always get stuck with the shit jobs?”
“Oh yeah, this is great. ‘All you have to do is go and distract the teenie guards Chris, it’s not that hard’. Yeah, if it’s not hard why don’t you do it Ben? Man, I’m probably gonna get mauled or something… oh well, here goes nothing.”
Chris approached the entrance to the large house with nonchalance, his hands in his pockets and whistling a pretty little tune. The teenie guards were on him in a second. “Yo, wassup girls?” Chris laughed nervously, feeling a bit wary of these two obviously possessed young girls.
“Oh my god! You’re that guy from that band!”
“Yeah! Ana’s Song! I love you guys.”
“Ha ha, yeah that’s me.” Chris grinned through gritted teeth. “And what are you two fine young ladies names?” ‘stall time Chris, stall time.’ he thought to himself, still keeping the same mechanical grin pasted on his face.
“Oh my god, he asked us our names! I don’t know if I can breathe!”
“This is too much! We’re Nataly and Emma. We love you guys so much!” The two teenies suddenly dropped their large poking sticks and fell to the floor, hooking themselves around each of poor Chris’s legs, rendering him immobile.
“Um yeah, thanks girls. I think.”
All of a sudden another teenie rounded the corner of the house and screamed at the sight before her. “Oh my god! It’s Chris!”
“Oh well, at least she knows my name,” Chris sighed. “Hi.” He waved. Before Chris knew what was happening a hoard of teenie guards were swiftly upon him, tearing at his clothes and trying to touch his precious flesh, some even going as far as to tear out his hair. ‘Reserved teenies my ass.’ Chris thought. “Ow! Stop it! Ooh, don’t touch me there! Damn it Ben! Hurry up and get into that house so I can get out of here!”
Ben and Sam watched the horrific scene unfold from the safety of the bushes while Chris was being ravaged by the rabid teenies.
“Poor Chris.” Said Sam, wincing when one of the teenies lunged at Chris for a kiss, knocking him to the ground.
“Yeah,” agreed Ben, “I almost feel sorry for sending him out there, but someone had to be the decoy. Anyway, there’s not enough time to think about that now – we have some Daniel saving to do!”
Checking one last time to see if the coast was clear Ben sprinted towards the front door of Oceania’s house, closely followed by Sam. In true James Bond fashion he kicked down the door and leapt inside, landing on the floor with a thud and rolling across to the safety of underneath a table. “Um, Ben, aren’t you taking this a little bit too seriously?” Sam asked from the doorway with an amused expression on his face.
“Ssh! Get down Sam! They might see you!” whispered Ben, frantically looking around the room for any guards. Sam complied with the demands and got down on the floor and crawled over to join Ben under the table. “Right,” said Ben, still holding up his imaginary finger-gun, “this is what we’re gonna do…”
To Be Continued
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