Emily spent the day with Ned. She helped him deal with his grief. She helped get the house ready for Brooke. She stayed to greet the child. She needed to be there. She needed to give Brooke support. Still, it brought back so many memories.
Emily empathized with what Brooke was going through. Emily remembered losing her mother, her best friend. For the first time in her entire life Paige wasn't there. She wasn't there to talk to. She wasn't there to listen. She wouldn't be there, ever again. After a while Emily learned to feel her mother's presence. It helped but it wasn't the same.
As if losing her only parent wasn't hard enough, she had to move in with strangers. Her entire support system had been robbed from her. Then she was expected to love them, trust them. She had to accept the Quartermaines. Now Brooke had to accept Ned.
Sure Ned was Brooke's father, they talked on the phone, and he even visited occasionally. Still, he was like a new person. Brooke had never lived with him, never learned to trust him. Ned could never be to Brooke what Lois was. Emily ached for the child. Yet, she felt a pang of jealousy. When Brooke lost her mother; she had her father. Emily never had that.
Emily loved Alan. However, she longed to find her real father. She hoped there would be a connection she never felt with the Q's. As soon as she reached the house she went to the attic to find Paige's letters. Emily hoped they shed some light on the father she never knew.
--
Ned stood in the doorway of Brooke's room. He watched her closely as she slept. It was almost as if he feared Brooke would vanish too. He couldn't lose her. How had he lost Lois? A drunk driver, the police report said. Brooke was in the car seat, safe. Lois' airbags never deployed. It was instant. She didn't feel a thing. All those phrases flashed through Ned's mind. They were little comfort.
Ned wanted to go to bed. He wanted to sleep forever. How could he live in a world where something like this could occur? One look at Brooke changed his mind. He needed to be around for her. He needed to be strong for her.
Finally he turned from the room. He left the door cracked. He could do it; he told himself over and over. He loved Brooke more than life itself. He could learn to be what she needed. The only question was how.
"I can help her." He said to the air, "but who will help me?" Aunt Gertrude died of a sudden heart attack just weeks after the wedding. Nobody else cared to enforce Uncle Herbert's will. Chloe returned to Milan. Alexis left with Jax for John and Jane's wedding anniversary and came back committed to him. Who was left? He asked himself.
He wasn't looking for love. He needed a friend. Somebody stable, organized, friendly, strong. One name came to mind. He picked up his phone and dialed several numbers and prayed Venus, not Simon, would answer.
--
Sonny hung up the phone and collapsed onto the couch. What should he think? He had waited eighteen years for that phone call. Now that he had received it, he hardly knew how to process the information.
He had never told anybody, not Jason, not Mike, not even Brenda. He planned to tell Lily but she was taken before he got the chance. He wasn't hiding it. It just hurt too much to think about. Talking about it was out of the question.
How could he tell people now? They would feel betrayed. The people who loved him expected so much. They expected him to be strong, in control, but mostly honest. He had lied to them more times than he could count. Now he needed to come clean.
He went upstairs, and looked in his closet for the box of memories. He hadn't looked at them in years. Even at the hardest times when he looked at Lily. He couldn't bring himself to look at her. His pain still cut too deep. He couldn't look at the picture of his first wife.
The call had brought it all back. All the love, all the emotion, all their hopes and dreams. Good memories he would have cherished forever, except for the pain of losing his infant son. After the loss, after the hopes of finding him dried up, Sonny couldn't stay. He couldn't look the woman he loved in the eye. Knowing he was responsible for David's disappearance he chose to save everybody the pain of living with him. He had only hurt them. It was the first of many times he ran.
It was a kidnapping. They wanted money, honor, and power. They wanted to pay him back for something he did. What he owed them was never worth the price of his son. Sonny waited for months, almost a year, for the ransom call. It never came and Sonny left.
He was lost deeply in his own thoughts. He didn't hear the door, the creaking of the stairs, or the footsteps behind him. He wasn't aware of the presence in the room. He wasn't even aware of his own tears, and then the phone rang.
~~~~~