''I have this problem.'' Alexis explained as she reclined in a 120 degree angle on the couch in Kevin Collins' office. Laying down seemed to be too Hollywood, but sitting, well it just didn't seem like therapy. And for the first time in her life, Alexis decided she really needed therapy.
''You aren't just here for my charming good looks?'' Kevin attempted to put his newest client at ease by joking. He had wondered how long it would take for one of the Cassdines to realize that professional help was essential. ''What is it?'' He took out a fresh pad, with what he knew of Alexis' past, it was going to be a very, very long session.
''There is this... This... Ticking.'' Alexis shook her head. He must think she was crazy. ''I woke up this morning, and there was ticking?''
Kevin blinked. ''Describe this ticking.''
''Well, at first I thought it was a bomb.'' Alexis sighed. ''I almost wish that it was.'' Catching Kevin's raised eyebrow, Alexis almost laughed. ''Well, you never know with Helena. With Stefan gone... Well, I am more threatening than I was before. She has never liked me, but now... She has every reason to wipe me out.''
''And how do you feel about this? Your brother's death, and the peril you feel yourself in?''
Alexis sighed. ''We only have an hour, right Doc? Well then we need to stay on topic.'' The always focused Alexis began with her problem before Kevin could start in on the importance of completely exploring all of the distressing factors in one's life. ''There was no bomb. I live next door to Sonny Corinthos, I ordered a pizza last week and Johnny tried a piece before he would let the delivery boy ring the bell, of course maybe he was just hungry, but... Anyway, my apartment is the only place that the press can't get past the front door. Nobody could have planted a bomb.''
''How are you handling the press?'' Kevin tried to exert some control over the session.
''The infuriate me. I am, or was, a respected attorney. I have always thought of myself as being respectable and reserved. Now, I am racy and revered. I never wanted that, and Ned... He relishes all of this. He says he doesn't care, but the publicity is good for L&B.'' Alexis shrugged.
''And that is the reason for his proposal? I read in the PC Herald that you are getting married.'' Kevin held up the morning's edition of the local paper.
''He loves me... He wants marriage... I don't know how to do marriage, and I thought I could do it, and maybe if I did the ticking would go away, but maybe not.''
''We are back to the ticking?'' Kevin rolled his eyes.
''That is the reason I am here. You see I thought about it. I spent hours puzzling over the ticking. It is nothing in my apartment. I turned the place over. The ticking, it is inside of me.'' Alexis lowered her voice, almost embarrassed to say it out loud. ''My biological clock started.''
Kevin's eyes widened. ''That is not unusual.'' He managed, although he would not have expected it from Alexis. ''Especially now that you are about to embark on a marriage. You are settling down and your body is ready to start its reproductive stage.'' Most women didn't ACTUALLY hear a clock, but some people were more susceptible to psychosomatic symptoms than others.
''But I don't want to settle down. I don't want to be married. I want the career I used to have. I want the respect I used to have, and now I want a baby to complete the set. The thing is, the really distressing thing, aside from wanting a baby, is that I don't want Ned.''
''And why is that?'' Kevin stopped trying to second guess her answers, it quickly became obvious that that was counter productive.
''He has become Eddie Maine. Ned Ashton was a gatekeeper, a go to guy. Eddie Maine, he is exciting and sexy, but he isn't... He isn't... Oh it isn't him, it is me. I don't want Ned. He gave me so much, but if it was meant to be forever, it would have happened. I was happier married to Jax, than I am with Ned. I like the excitement, but not the real life.''
''And what is it that you want?'' Kevin asked, truly intrigued by the answer to her question.
''A baby. A girl I think, but women don't get to pick that. And when you think about it, women should be able to pick, or at least influence it. Women carry children, give birth, deal with the kids for the rest of their lives...'' Alexis shook with the realization that, for the first time in her life, listing the steps of motherhood didn't send her into a panic attack. ''Of course boys are good. I know boys. I was raised with boys. Ned, Jax, Sonny, Luke... All my favorite people are boys. A boy would be okay, too.''
''And a father? You need one of those.'' Kevin reminded her. ''You said you liked being married to Jax, is he the father you want for your child?''
Alexis shook her head. ''No, I liked the excitement of the situation. And I love Jax, he is fun. But that isn't what I want my children's genetic material to be. ''I don't want spiky haired children, and the John and Lady Jane, great people, but they would have my baby rock climbing for its first birthday... No... Not Jax.
''Then what do you want?'' Kevin looked at the clock and saw that the time was coming near.
Alexis breathed in deeply and released the tension she held in her body since she first heard the problematic ticking. What had started out as an off the wall idea, thought of, solely as a way to appease her internal clock, made sense. ''#290124006549. Port Charles sperm bank... He claims to be a strong, cerebral, artistic, literary male. I guess I will see in nine months.'' Without another word, Alexis stood and left the office.
Kevin swallowed hard. ''No, it couldn't be...'' He mumbled as he opened his file folder and looked for the number he had been given.
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